Anima Complex
by Maria Arnt
Summary: When Loki agrees to undergo a fundamental change as punishment for his crimes, no one expects the outcome—he's been turned into a human woman! But when Loki lies, she switches back to her original, male form—sans magic. Can Loki find a way to win the Avengers'—and especially Natasha's—trust? LokixNatasha/Black Widow, Drama/Romance/Action Warnings: graphic violence, explicit sex
1. The Trial

_**Author's Note: **__Hey! Welcome to Anima Complex. I don't own Loki (sad story) or any of the Avengers, and I'm not making any money off of this. This story is rated M for some sex and violence that happen later, but I'm trying to structure it so you can skip over those bits if you like. I'm putting the first three chapters up to begin with, so you won't hear from me again until the end of Chapter 3._

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**Chapter 1: The Trial**

The throne room was full to capacity, but an uncomfortable hush lay over the crowds. Before Odin Allfather stood Thor, hero of Asgard and Earth alike. Beside him stood Loki, his once-brother, who now awaited his punishment for crimes against almost half the known realms. The silence made Loki anxious. He had expected a mob, roaring for his blood, would have relished it even. But this unease was harder to understand. They did not like punishing one of their own. Even as far as he had fallen, many citizens of Asgard still remembered him as a child, always running after his brother, always a little lost in the shadows of the conflicts between Thor and Odin.

He thought them foolish and sentimental, he was not theirs. He never had been. He was little better than a hostage, a tool for Odin's political machinations. And yet... and yet he had tried to do what he felt was best for them. Best for himself, certainly, but best for them as well. He had tried to be a good king, to give them what they wanted. And when he was thrown out for his efforts, he had tried to do the same for another people. That had turned out even worse. He refused to feel guilty for doing what he felt was right. But the pity and consternation he saw on the faces around him was making it difficult.

At long last, Odin stood. "Loki Odinson," he began.

Loki was shocked. After all this, he would still claim him as son, when by all rights he should have shouted "Laufeyson" for the whole crowd to hear. Would they be so sympathetic if they all knew the truth?

"You have been charged with crimes against Asgard, Midgard, Jotenheim, and Chitauri. These crimes more than warrant the punishment of death." He paused as a shocked murmur passed through the crowd. "However, we have information from reliable sources that your death would not bring an end to your mayhem."

Why that little bitch. Hela must have told Odin that his name was not written in the book of Hel. Well, there went his brilliant escape plan.

"For this reason, we have been forced to seek an alternative that is somewhat... unusual." Odin made a small gesture to one side, and a couple guards disappeared around a corner. As Odin began to speak again, the sound of something large being moved could be heard from their direction. "Thanks to the efforts of the SHEILD organization on Midgard, we have found a solution that may answer our dilemma."

A large machine was wheeled to the side of the throne. There was a chair in the middle, which was surrounded by a vertical metal circle and any number of strange tubes and wires that ran between the two. Loki began to sweat. Were they going to torture him? Here? In front of everyone? Not even he would sink to such a punishment.

"We are told that this is called the Interface of Morpheus. Once, long ago, it was used by an evil man in an attempt to corrupt the heroes of Midgard. The plan failed in its infancy due to an unseen complication."

"What does it do?" Thor interrupted. He was still a little headstrong, and Loki was a little confused to see the concern in Thor's eyes. Surely, after all he had done, his once-brother harbored no affection for him. Ah, but morals. They would stand in the way of cruel and unusual punishment for even the vilest of criminals.

Odin gestured to a middle-aged man standing next to the machine. He stepped forward and bobbed a quick bow. "First, let me thank you for allowing my presence in your home," he spoke. "I understand it is a rare thing for a Midgardian to be allowed to travel to Asgard, much less to come to the heart of your city. I am honored, and my ancestors are honored. My name is Erik Selvig, and I have been educated in the use of this machine, and authorized by SHIELD to implement it at Odin Allfather's command." He paused a moment, and glanced at Thor, who nodded reassuringly.

Of course Loki already knew Selvig. He probably knew him better than the old man knew himself. But he had to admire a man who managed to sabotage his own work while under the influence of Black Magic.

Erik cleared his throat nervously. "The Interface of Morpheus has also been nicknamed the 'opposite machine,' because that is essentially what it does. It takes a person and changes them, subtly but fundamentally, into the opposite of what they were before."

There was a moment while the idea sunk into the general public's minds. Loki felt strangely calm. Change was a good thing. Change was the basis of chaos, the only constant in the universe. He was not sure he would mourn the loss of his current self, but to become something completely new… that would be an interesting adventure.

"And what is the complication?" Thor asked kindly.

Erik cleared his throat again, and shuffled his feet. "It cannot be used on a person against their will."

There was a rumble of complaint throughout the room. What good was a punishment that the criminal must willingly submit to? It would never work. Arguments sprung up, and the noise level became almost deafening. As loud as it was, the resounding rap of Odin's staff rose above it all and quickly brought back silence. He stared hard at Loki with his one eye for a long, long, moment. Loki stared back, challenging him to ask.

"Will you submit to this?" He asked with that damnably quiet voice of his. It always made him feel as if he were a small boy again.

Loki pointed at the silencing mask he wore. He had questions and he wasn't about to give his answer until he got some of his own. Alas, his captors proved too smart once again.

"You cannot be allowed to speak, Loki," Thor said, almost apologetically. "It is too dangerous."

"Wait!" Erik called, and began a sort of jog over to them. "Here," he pulled a bound sheaf of paper and a writing utensil from his jacket pockets. "Just write what you want to say. Can't hurt that way, right?" He looked to Thor, who looked to Odin.

After a moment's consideration, he nodded. "You may ask three questions." He turned to sit on his throne.

Erik handed the pen to Loki, showing a remarkable lack of fear for the man who had once controlled his mind. He held out the paper so that he could write.

Once Loki was done, Thor took the paper and read it aloud, translating for Erik. "Will it make me stupid?"

There was a round of scoffs and chuckles from those nearby. Erik frowned for a moment. "I don't believe so, it's supposed to only change those aspects which are necessary to be a different person. Lots of other people are intelligent."

Loki held up the pen, and the paper was returned to him. Thor read as he wrote. "Will it take away my powers?"

The murmur this time was much more serious. If it did, it would be a better punishment. But would Loki consent to such a thing?

"No," Erik said simply, "But it may fundamentally change the way in which you are able to use them." He turned to Odin. "SHIELD has agreed—almost insisted really—to use their resources to monitor Loki after the change to ensure that he is safe. He will be under constant surveillance by one of their operatives at all times."

Odin nodded. "It will have to suffice."

Thor turned to Loki. "This is your last question."

Loki rolled his eyes as if to say "no really?" He paused a moment, as if considering the gravity of his question. The truth was he had asked all he meant to. He would like to ask if it would hurt, but did not want to show weakness. Instead, he would ask something flippant.

"Will it change the way I look?" Thor read aloud.

This time there were genuine laughs from the crowed. This was the old Loki they had once loved. Erik chuckled a little, too, but then frowned.

"You know, I'm not sure." He scratched his chin.

"What do you mean?" Thor asked.

"Well, ah…" Erik paused. "You see, we have no records of it ever being used, so…" he trailed off and shrugged.

Oh, so I'm to be the test subject, Loki thought. He wondered what purposes the machine would be put to once they were done with him. But what other option did he have? He gestured once more for the paper, and wrote  
_I, Loki Laufeyson, consent to my punishment._

Thor did not read it aloud. He paused a moment, frowning at Loki. "He consents."

"So be it. I, Odin Allfather, do charge you, Loki Odinson, to submit yourself to the Interface of Morpheus, and to any changes it may make." He rapped the staff on the floor, effectively ending the trial.


	2. Unexpected Consequences

_**A/N: **__I don't own Loki or any of the Avengers, but it's ok because I'm not making money off of this story._

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**Chapter 2: Unexpected Consequences**

The crowd began to file out, and Odin stood, walking to the more private audience chamber to the side of the room. Thor followed, leading Loki. Behind them, Erik instructed the guards to carefully move the machine in as well.

The great doors closed behind them, and Odin sat heavily in a chair, eyeing the machine warily. "If you have never used this machine before, how do you know it will even work?"

Erik shook his head. "We don't. But it was the best idea we had."

"What was your second best idea?" Thor asked, laughing.

"Hmmm... Someone suggested we put him in cryogenic sleep, but considering his... unique abilities, we thought he might be able to break free."

_Yes, let's encase the ice giant in ice_, thought Loki, _that will certainly work_. He watched as the machine was set up, connected to huge batteries. He began to regard the chair a bit apprehensively. What, exactly, had he agreed to?

"Well, that should do it," Erik sounded less confident than Loki would like. "It seems to be ready."

Thor turned to Loki, and frowned a little. "You're sure about this?"

Loki laughed behind his mask and shook his head no. He could see the hesitation in his brother's eyes. If he protested now, Thor would not force him into the machine. He frowned. Such weakness. He used the moment to break free from Thor's grasp and take a couple steps away from him. Everyone in the room jolted, Odin rising to his feet and Thor hefting Mjolnir warily.

Instead of running, Loki turned and walked to the machine, giving Selvig a long, piercing look as if to say "So, how does it feel to be on the other side?" From the look of it, he wasn't enjoying it much. Loki sat in the chair, and stared back at his shocked audience. He lifted his palms in a gesture that clearly meant "Well? Get on with it."

Erik jumped, startled back into motion. He began lifting wires and using a sticky, gritty gel to attach them to his head. "I need his hands unshackled. We can secure them to the chair." Two guards, one for each hand came forward to assist. Loki took a moment to be flattered by the need for such security. Once he was hooked up, Erik retreated to a small podium off to one side, adjusting a few dials and levers. He stepped back as a low hum began, rising in pitch and volume until Loki could feel it in his bones.

"It should work now!" Erik shouted over the noise.

At first, there was nothing, but slowly the sound of the machine decreased in volume. Loki wondered if it was powering down, he had felt nothing.

"Hello, Loki." A smooth voice, contra-alto or tenor and neither male nor female, seemed to speak directly into his mind. His surroundings vanished, and he was in a warm void.

_Who are you? _Loki thought back, wagering that anyone who could speak into his mind would be able to hear back, trying not to allow his panic to seep through.

"I am Morpheus. I am the embodiment of change in the universe. I must say, I am glad to finally meet you. I do not have much business in Asgard, where change comes slowly. When I do, it is almost always to do with you. This machine will allow me to communicate with you, and channel my powers into your form." The voice sounded amused and vaguely affectionate. It was calming.

_What is going to happen to me?_

"That depends entirely on why you are here. Nothing that you do not wish to happen," the voice reassured him.

_I am here to be punished._

"You wish to be punished?" The voice of Morpheus was now certainly amused.

_I wish to be through with my punishment. I wish for them to be convinced that I am harmless._

"But you do not want to _be_harmless." It was not a question.

Loki shrugged.

"So be it. Let's have a look at that clever mind of yours and see what we can do."

Loki watched as random memories flashed before his eyes: his childhood, his crimes, faces of those he had hurt. Some moments were shorter than a heartbeat, others lingered slowly. He relived the entire scene where the Black Widow had managed to trick him into revealing his plans. To be fair, it was a memory he had returned to many times, not only because he felt it was a crucial mistake in his plan but because he was duly impressed with the assassin's performance. Or had it been a performance? He had never really figured that out.

The voice of Morpheus dragged him from his thoughts. "Well, I can see you enjoy the suffering of others. There are few cultures who encourage this, so that will have to be changed."

_How_? Loki asked.

"I cannot rid you of it completely. I can only change it into something else, something more useful or less threatening. I'm sure I'll think of something." This time, Morpheus's amusement unsettled him a little. "We will also need to do something about your obsession with Odin and Thor."

_I am not obsessed with them!_Loki thought angrily.

Morpheus chuckled. "Oh, there are few men who are not obsessed with their fathers, biological or not. As for Thor, you are lying to yourself, O god of lies, if you think that your jealousy and need for his attention do not have some hand in your every action. But we will see. I think I know a very simple solution to that problem."

Loki held silent as Morpheus probed in his mind further. His anxiety began to rise, and the hints at what would happen to him were only adding to his unease.

There was a sense of pause from Morpheus. "This will not hurt you, I promise. It may cause you some difficulties, but if you cannot rise above them, then you do not deserve the second chance you so desire."

There was something about the voice that made it clear it was the truth. Loki sighed.

"Will you submit to this?" Morpheus asked, oddly echoing Odin's earlier words.

The Black Widow had said something, that day on the helicarrier. What was it? "I've got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out." He was so very angry at her at the time. How dare she flaunt the fact that she had a way out, that she had found a way to change herself when he was so very, very sure he could not. It was like she stood at the top of the pit he had fallen into and claimed that climbing out was so easy.

_Yes. I… I want this_, Loki closed his eyes, realizing that he truly did.

"Good. You will remember nothing of this except these two things: If you ever use your powers to intentionally harm anyone for your own pleasure or gain, you will be permanently stripped of them. That is your price for this exchange. Also, if you lie, you will forget everything. Do you understand?" The voice was firm, unyielding.

No lying? That would be excruciatingly difficult. But he would have to try. _Yes_.

With that thought, the void and the voice disappeared. He could once again see the others in the room, the machine he was strapped to. Selvig appeared to be attempting to check if it was working. The outermost part of the vertical circle split into two rings suddenly, and he jumped back.

"It's working," he said, and gestured for everyone to step back.

The rings began to turn in opposite directions slowly, revolving around the chair. They began to speed up, and the point of rotation of each circle began to shift around the rings, creating a complicated gyroscopic motion. Faster and faster, until they began to blur, and Loki could feel himself begin to spin within them, completely disoriented. Gravity and centrifugal force seemed to pull him in every direction, and even with all his strength he began to feel ill. He began to see spots, and worried that unconsciousness was not far behind.

From outside the machine, the rings moved so fast as to obscure their view of Loki. It became a ball of violet light, a strong wind pushing at them and scattering debris around the room. There was a sound so low and loud that it almost wasn't a sound at all, and then the wind began to die down and the light from the machine dimmed. The rings became visible, and Loki slumped within them. There was something… off about the figure. The hair seemed to have grown much longer, so that it obscured the face from view. The limbs were thin, lost in the overlarge armor. As the machine finally stopped, the wires fell away and the wrists were released. The muzzle clanked open and fell away.

Slowly, as if pulled like a marionette, Loki rose, and the head lifted slowly to reveal the sharp-cut features of a beautiful young woman. She looked around at the shocked faces of the guards and Erik, the alarmed face of Odin, in a battle-ready position.

"Loki…" Thor's voice was shaky. "What has happened to you?"

Loki took a few unsteady steps toward him, and smiled wearily. "Thor…" and then she collapsed. He darted forward and caught her before she hit the floor. She reached a trembling hand to his face. "It's so good to see you…" she whispered, and then passed out.

Thor looked up at Erik, a thousand questions on his face.

"Well… I think it's safe to say the machine worked…" he muttered bemusedly.


	3. A Few Adjustments

_**A/N: **__I don't own Loki or any of the Avengers, but it's ok because I'm not making money off of this story._

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**Chapter 3: A Few Adjustments**

The newly female Loki was carried by Thor to the private quarters of the palace. He laid her on her bed and then stepped back, staring at her smaller figure, which now looked lost in the green silks and white furs of the massive bed.

"What do we do now?" Thor turned to Frigga, who had been silently waiting outside the smaller audience room, and had followed him from there.

"I don't know," she admitted. She passed a hand over Loki quickly. "As far as I can tell, he—she doesn't have any injuries. She's probably just exhausted from the shock of it." She reached down and brushed a lock of hair from Loki's face. Man or woman, Loki was still her child, and she would love her no matter what form she took.

Suddenly, Lady Sif barged into the room. "I heard the news," she said breathlessly, and came to join the small group next to the bed. "I did not believe it…" she said, her voice full of wonder as she looked down on Loki's sleeping form. She sighed. "But I brought these anyway." She lifted an arm, which had a set of her own clothes draped over it.

"That is very kind of you," Thor said, placing a hand on her shoulder. They stared at Loki a moment longer.

"Well, I must ask all the men to please leave," she said with a smile. "Frigga and I will try to make her more comfortable." She pushed gently on Thor, who blushed a little and left with only one backward glance.

Once he had closed the door she turned back to Loki and sighed. "Now here is something I never dreamed of doing in all my days…" she murmured amusedly.

Frigga smiled at her, her eyes twinkling. "Never? He was quite attractive."

Lady Sif laughed. "Well, even I'm not impervious to his charm, but after he cut my hair, when we were children? Not a chance." She frowned a little. "Why are we standing here speaking as if she is dead? Let us get that uncomfortable armor off of her."

Frigga nodded and began helping Lady Sif do just that. With some difficulty, they removed the stiff outer layers and began gently easing her out of the over-sized under clothes.

"What is this?" Frigga said absently as she noticed a necklace around Loki's neck. It was a large star ruby cabochon, almost the size of a small egg with a plain gold setting, on a leather cord.

Lady Sif frowned. "I don't know. It looks very valuable…" She picked it up and studied it. "We should probably take it off until we get her hair fixed." She lifted Loki's head and began to remove the necklace, when it flashed a little and jumped out of her hands, landing back on Loki's chest. Sif jolted back, startled.

Frigga frowned. "That is most unusual." She picked up the ruby, studying it. "It's magic, and it's bound to her, but I can't tell what it's powers are…" she closed her fist around it, a look of concentration on her face. Light flashed from between her fingers, and Loki moaned a little, as if in pain. Frigga glanced at her daughter, and laid the stone back down. "It is bound very tightly to her, I cannot sever it. It's not her kind of magic, in fact it is unlike anything I have seen. I suspect it may have come about in the change."

Lady Sif nodded. "Let us leave it for now. Perhaps she can explain it when she wakes." They continued their work, dressing Loki in Sif's clothes, a white cambric shirt and soft brown leather pants. They found they were slightly too large for her. Then they combed out her long, slightly curly black hair. When they were done, they lay her back down in a comfortable position, and Frigga sat on the bed next to her.

"Well… at least she kept her good looks," Sif said hopefully. "Although, she seems… small. I am rather petite, for an Asgardian, and my clothes are almost too big for her."

Frigga smoothed out some of Loki's hair. "Yes. He was always tall, although, to think of it, he was very small for a Jotunn. I wonder…" She picked up one of Loki's hands, and focused on it. Within a few moments she looked up at Sif in alarm. "She's not Jotunn!"

Sif frowned. "She's been made Asgardian, then?"

"No," Freya looked back down at Loki, who was stirring. "She is Midgardian… a human."

There was a cautious knock on the door. "May I re-enter?" Thor asked through the door.

"Yes," Lady Sif called, startled. She had forgotten he was waiting.

He peeked in, and when he saw for himself that Loki was fully dressed, he came walking into the room. "I heard you speaking…"

Frigga put a hand on his arm. "Yes, she is human. And look at this…" she lifted the ruby up on its cord.

Thor moved to get a closer look, and reached for the ruby. The instant he touched it, Loki shifted. They dropped the stone, and after a moment, Loki opened her eyes.

She blinked a few times, looking around. "Mother… Thor," her eyes lit up when she noticed him. "Did you awaken me, my prince?" She asked kindly.

He chuckled. "No, I think not. And since when am I your prince?" He frowned a little.

She sat up. "Well, I think it would be a little too ironic if I called you princess now," she joked. She looked down at herself, and saw the new, slightly large clothes.

"I thought you might like something that fit better," Lady Sif offered, "But I'm afraid they're still not a good match."

"That's very kind of you," Loki said sincerely, "But... I don't think it will be necessary." She held up a hand, which crackled with a little green energy. Reassured, she swiped it down her figure and the clothes were replaced with similar ones in green and black, which fit her perfectly. She handed the folded clothes back to Lady Sif. "Thank you, though."

The other three stared at her openly, surprised. She raised her eyebrows. "Ah, yes, I still have my magic. But I cannot use it for evil purposes or I will lose it. And I can no longer lie. But I feel… weak."

Her second revelation seemed to shock them more than the first, but Frigga merely placed a hand on Loki's back, stroking her hair and trying to think of a good way to put it. "Loki… the change… it made you human."

Loki looked up, eyes wide. "Human?" She lifted her hands, willing them to turn blue. They did not. After staring at them a long moment, she sighed and dropped them in her lap. "Thank you for telling me, Mother."

Frigga smiled sadly. "I didn't want to make the same mistake twice."

Loki nodded, and leaned over to put her head on Frigga's shoulder. It was so strange, so different from how the old Loki would have acted, but her mother was secretly a little tickled, and put a comforting arm around her daughter.

Loki looked up to Thor. "What do I do now?"

Thor frowned. She seemed so lost. "Well, SHIELD wants you to return to Midgard so they can observe you to make sure the machine… worked."

She smiled wryly. "Oh, it worked." She fingered the ruby absently, and a look of pain crossed her face.

"Loki, what is that necklace?" Lady Sif asked.

Loki looked down at the pendant in question. "A reminder. There are large gaps in my memory… so many holes, I feel like I've forgotten half of the last century… When I touch this, it reminds me of all the pain I caused, and I don't really want to remember anymore."

There was an uncomfortable silence, and then Thor held out his hand. "Come, if you can walk, we should return to Midgard as soon as possible."

She took his hand delicately and stood, slipping her arm into his. "I'm still a little dizzy, but I think I'll be alright like this." She turned back towards the others. "Thank you, Lady Sif, Mother. I will miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Loki," Frigga smiled. "I hope you… adjust well."

Loki nodded, and they left the room. Thor led her towards the front hall of the palace, and Loki glanced down the other way. "Father does not wish to see me before we leave?" she asked.

Thor looked a little uncomfortable. "No, Loki. He is still very angry with you, I think."

She sighed heavily, and slowly turned back towards the doors. "Not terribly surprising, I suppose," she murmured.

As they walked towards the newly repaired bifrost, Loki was silent, clinging to Thor's arm a little unsteadily. He felt awkward about it for some reason, and decided to strike up a conversation. "I must say, I think you're handling this whole thing rather admirably," he offered.

She frowned. "I have little choice but to accept my fate with dignity. But somehow, I'm not really all that bothered by it. The lying is the hardest thing."

He glanced down at her. "So you truly cannot lie?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. I'm afraid to. I think if I do… something bad will happen."

Thor began to relax. Even though Loki would never have admitted such a thing to him as an adult, he had often come to Thor with such fears when they were young. Perhaps she had just gone back a few centuries or so. That wouldn't be all bad… a chance to start over, perhaps.

At the Eye, they met Erik Selvig. He turned to smile at Thor, and startled a little when he saw Loki on his arm. "Um, hello. Heimdall already sent the machine through, but I wanted to linger as much as I could."

Loki stepped away from Thor and towards Erik, reaching out and grabbing one of his hands before he could jump back. "Erik, I want to apologize for what I did. I don't remember a lot of it, but it must have taken a great deal of strength and bravery to resist that kind of magic."

"Er… um… sure. I guess." He stared down at Loki's hands on his, unsure if she was being sincere.

Loki frowned a little, and then returned to Thor, taking his arm again. "Alright, I am ready to go," she said.

Thor patted her hand. "I should warn you, the bifrost can be disorienting for humans," he warned.

"Human?" Erik said surprised, looking back at Loki. She blushed, her lips pressed together, and nodded tersely. He shook his head. "Yeah, I just about tossed my cookies when I came up. You're in for a rough ride."

Loki gripped Thor's arm a little tighter, but had a determined look on her face. "Let's get it over with, then." They walked the last few steps to the Eye, but at the last moment Loki turned, looking back at Asgard for a long while.

"What is wrong?" Thor asked, seeing what he thought might be the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

She blinked rapidly, angry that she gave herself away so easily that even Thor could read her. "It was the only home I ever knew. I don't think they'll ever let me back, will they?"

Thor looked up at Asgard in all its glory. "I don't know, Loki. We'll see."

Taking one last look, Loki swallowed hard, and turned back to walk into the Eye. "Heimdall," she said, her voice once more firm and commanding, an eerie echo of her former self. "We must return to Midgard now."

He nodded, sliding the sword into its slot. "I will be watching you Loki," he warned.

Loki smiled a little mischievously as the light began to pull them in. "I shall let you look, then. Perhaps you will see something you like." And with that, they were sucked into the rushing stream of light.

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_**A/N: **__Well, there's the beginning! These first few chapters are a little stuffy, but that's only because they happen in Asgard (all the Asgard chapters are stuffy lol). I promise once we get back to Earth the tone will lighten right up. Also, don't worry, the original, male Loki will be back! However, it's going to be quite a while. I wrote up an outline of the first two thirds of the story this morning, and it's looking like we won't see him again until Chapter 17. But I promise it will be worth the wait! This is a LokixNatasha story, after all, and therefore things are going to get _interesting.

_For the time being, I plan to update once a week on Saturday. If people really like the story, I may be convinced to post more than one chapter a week, at least until guy Loki shows up again. Otherwise, if you're impatient, go check out my other LokixNatasha story, "Pity for the Devil." It's much more just fanservice than this. ^.^_


	4. Reunions

_I don't own Loki or any of the Avengers. But it's ok because this story is not making me any money. _

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**Chapter 4: Reunions**

As soon as the Bifrost set them down, Loki fell from Thor's grasp and was quickly, violently ill.

Erik, who took a moment to get his own bearings, shook his head. "Well she's definitely human, then."

Thor leaned over and helped Loki back up. She held the back of her hand against her mouth, afraid that it would happen again. "Good gods that was horrid."

"Never been sick before?" Erik guessed.

Loki shook her head, then shut her eyes as if the shaking had been a bad idea. "I can't… I used to be impervious to sickness of all kinds."

Erik gave her a long look, and decided to be sympathetic. "Well, that kind of sick doesn't happen too often, as long as you don't drink too much alcohol. But I'm afraid you'll probably have to put up with a lot of other unpleasantness from now on."

"Are you alright now?" Thor asked.

"I think so…" Loki took Thor's arm again shakily, glad for his warmth and support. She looked around to gain her bearings. They were on top of Stark Tower, the very place she had tried to open a gate to Chitauri from. The ruby around her neck flashed, and she shuddered.

"Let's go inside," Thor suggested. Erik excused himself, as there was a chopper waiting to take him back to his work.

Once they got inside the doors, a calm emotionless voice spoke up. "Welcome back, Thor. I see you have brought a guest. Shall I notify Mr. Stark?"

"Yes please, Jarvis. Call the whole team together. We need to talk," Thor announced to the room at large.

"As you wish." There was a pause. "Mr. Stark suggests that you all meet in his second best living room."

"Thank you Jarvis," Thor said as the elevator doors opened. They walked in and Thor chose a number high on the list. As the elevator began to descend, Loki gripped Thor's arm tighter. Fortunately the ride was short, and when they exited it was to see that in addition to Tony Stark, two of the team members and a strawberry blonde were already there. The Black Widow sat on one of the couches, and a blond man leaned against the back of another.

"How's it going, Thunderman?" Stark called cheerfully.

"I am well," Thor returned, clapping Tony on the back.

"And who is your exceedingly attractive friend?" He grinned gleefully, giving his full attention to her. Behind him, the strawberry blonde rolled her eyes and went off to the bar.

Loki grinned one of her best wolfish smiles. She couldn't help it—it was too funny. Thor looked torn between sputtering and laughing. "Tony, this… this is Loki."

The mention of her name was like a bomb exploding in the room. The Black Widow was off the couch in an instant, a gun from who knows where trained on Loki. The blond man was at attention, ready to leap into action. Even the jealous girl had poked her head back into the room cautiously.

Only Tony Stark had not moved. "Well… that's… unexpected," he said slowly, but he seemed more amused than anything. "I assume from the lack of the muzzle that he—she's had her powers taken away?"

Thor looked uncomfortable as he searched for an answer, but Loki stepped up instead. "I have been neutralized as a threat, if that is what you mean. You need not worry."

"I will explain when the rest of the team arrives," Thor offered.

Tony thought about that for a moment. "Alright. I guess I can keep a lid on my curiosity for the moment. Bruce is on his way up anyway."

This seemed to relieve everyone else in the room. The Black Widow stowed her weapon—in her boot, Loki noticed—and the blond man relaxed visibly. There was a long awkward moment, and finally Loki decided to speak up. "I am afraid I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. There are many things I don't remember…" she scanned the room, thinking. "You must be Captain America, Steve Rogers, yes?" She asked the blond man.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, looking a little confused.

Loki turned to see the strawberry blonde walking back in with a tray of drinks. "And I believe you're Pepper Pots, are you not?"

Pepper set the tray down and rubbed her hands uncomfortably against her pants. "That's right."

Loki turned to the Black Widow. "And Natasha. Of course I remember you." She smiled, and it was a memento of her former self. "How could I forget? Very few people have ever bested me at my own game."

Natasha's eyes narrowed. "Agent Romanov will be sufficient, thank you."

Loki tipped her head towards the assassin. "As you like."

Behind them, the elevator doors opened, revealing Bruce Banner. Loki turned to look at him, and frowned a little. "I'm sorry, I don't remember who you are…"

Bruce stepped forward. "I'm not sure we've met," he took her hand and shook it, which she watched with great curiosity.

Thor watched the exchange cautiously, and spoke very calmly. "Dr. Banner, this is Loki."

Bruce's eyebrows shot up, and he unconsciously took a step back. "Okay…"

Thor continued. "She has been… changed, obviously. And she has lost some, but not all of her memories."

"Case in point," Loki said cheerfully, "I still can't place you. Are you a scientist? A strategist for SHIELD?"

Bruce chuckled. "Yes, I am a scientist. But strategy isn't really my strong point." He rubbed his hands together in a nervous gesture.

Loki tilted her head in confusion, and Tony decided he'd be the one to drop the bomb. "I think you might recognize him a little better if he were twice that size and bright green," he offered.

Loki's eyes shot open, and she nearly tripped over her own feet as she stepped back and hid behind Thor's figure.

Thor glanced back over his shoulder. "Are you alright, Loki?"

She swallowed hard and tried to calm her breathing. "Yes. I remember." She pressed herself against Thor a moment longer, and then stepped away. "Could I perhaps sit down? I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed by everything."

"Of course." Thor helped her to sit on the other end of the couch that Natasha had claimed.

Tony sidled over to Bruce and spoke in a low whisper. "Does it ever freak you out that you're the boogeyman to _that_?" he gestured to Loki with his drink.

Bruce chuckled. "A little. But honestly, I don't understand why everyone doesn't feel that way."

Once she was settled, Loki turned and smiled politely at Natasha, who narrowed her eyes in response.

"What?" Natasha said.

"Nothing," Loki shrugged. "I like you. You're the most intelligent person here in my opinion."

"Well the feeling is not mutual," she murmured into her drink.

Loki accepted a glass of water from Thor, and lifted it to Natasha in a mock-toast. "Like I said, smart."

Bruce took a seat on the opposite couch. "Where's Clint?" he asked Tony.

Tony smiled. "Oh, Clint is already here. In spirit of course." He gestured out the window. "He's our eye in the sky if our new friend here decides to ditch the party."

"Can he hear us?" Loki asked.

Tony turned back, his head tilted in curiosity. "Yes. Every word."

"May I say something to him?"

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. "I don't see any of us stopping you," Tony said before taking a gulp of his drink.

Loki seemed to think for a moment, and then composed herself. "Mr. Barton, I wish to apologize for my actions towards you. I would like to reassure you that among the memories I have lost are those I took from you. It is my hope that if you cannot forgive me, you may at least come to understand that I mean you no further harm." She stopped, a little uncomfortable with everyone's stares. "Well, that's all I wanted to say."

"Perhaps now would be a good time to explain everything?" Steve suggested.

"Yes," Loki agreed. "Shall I tell them or you?" she asked Thor.

"I think… they are more likely to believe me."

She nodded, gesturing for him to begin.

"The Morpheus interface has altered Loki so that she is now a human female," Thor began.

"Human?" Bruce asked, surprised. "I guess I just lost my babysitting job, then."

Thor remained serious. "Yes, I believe any member of the team will have sufficient abilities to keep her in check, although I will gladly take the majority of the responsibility."

Loki smiled into her drink.

"She has also lost large chunks of her memory, and…" he paused for a moment, looking at Loki. "She says she cannot lie."

Natasha scoffed. "And how do we know _that _isn't a lie?"

Loki smiled. "Go ahead. Test me. Ask me something embarrassing, something I wouldn't like to answer."

There was a pause as everyone racked their brains. Tony the Genius got there first. "Do you like having breasts?" He grinned cheekily, and Pepper gave him a dirty look.

Loki looked down at her chest, and patted the new additions fondly. "Yes, I believe I do." She grinned. "But that wasn't terribly embarrassing."

The expression on Steve's face said otherwise.

"Just had to ask," Tony shrugged.

There was another pause, into which Natasha spoke slowly and quietly. "On the helicarrier, how did you feel when I fooled you into revealing your plans?"

Loki grimaced. "Ah yes, a much better question. I was… angry, of course. At myself, at you. Impressed."

Natasha re-evaluated the girl sitting at the other end of the couch. "Were you really going to do all those things you said… with Barton?"

Loki frowned. "At that very moment, yes. As I said, I was very angry. But there's no guarantee I would not have changed my mind afterwards. There was a contingency plan, if you survived the invasion and Barton did not."

Natasha swallowed thickly. "Do I want to know?"

Loki stared deeply into her drink. "No."

Natasha stared at her a moment longer. "She's not lying. I believe her. The old Loki would have tried to convince me that he wanted me to figure it out."

Loki nodded.

The other Avengers decided to hold off on their assessments.

"There is one other thing," Thor added, drawing the team's attention again. "She still has all her magic."

The room erupted into shouts.

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_**A/N: **__Posting a couple more chapters because people didn't seem as thrilled with this story as they were with Pity for the Devil. Thought I'd give you a little more to sink your teeth into!_


	5. Reparations

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers, as much as I would like to. Fortunately, (or unfortunately) I'm also not raking in any of the massive amounts of cash they're making for Marvel._

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**Chapter 5: Reparations**

For a few seconds, everyone spoke at once. Loki stayed calm, the eye at the center of the raging storm. Suddenly, Dr. Banner stood up quickly, which effectively silenced the room.

"Thank you," he said, a little out of breath. "Can we please handle this calmly?"

The others looked frustrated, but stayed quiet.

"I assure you I can only use it for good," Loki said mildly.

"And what's to keep you from reverting to your old ways, if you truly have reformed?" Steve demanded.

"This, mostly," Loki held up the ruby pendant. "It's bound to me, and reminds me of all the pain and suffering I caused. But I have also had a change of heart in the most literal of senses. I want to help make up for what I've done."

Natasha laughed. "Can you really make up for that much damage?" she mocked.

Loki stared at her for a long moment. "I don't know, Agent Romanov. You tell me."

Natasha sat back, unruffled. "I have a plan. What's yours?"

Loki set down her water, putting her hands in her lap. "Mr. Stark, I know you live to impress, so I am intrigued why we are in your second best living room?"

Stark glared at her. "Because you and Bruce trashed the best one and it's still being repaired."

Loki nodded. "As I suspected. May I see it?"

Tony looked around to the others, then set his drink down. "Alright, kiddos, time for a field trip." He headed out one of the doors, and everyone followed, Thor keeping a close watch on Loki. After going down a hallway and up a couple flights of stairs, they came into an even larger room with a stunning view of the Chrysler building which was slightly marred by the plastic sheeting that temporarily replaced the windows. Much of the debris had been cleared away, but only a few things had been replaced. The marble floor was still cracked, and some of the cabinets were left open.

Loki skirted the large depression in the floor and turned around, nodding. "Now, I don't have a perfect memory, but..." She began moving her hands in a complicated gesture, green light glowing around them. The avengers stood back, and Thor tightened his grip on Mjolnir. If Loki was going to turn on them, now would be the time.

Loki closed her eyes, and extended her hands outward. Jets of yellow-green light ran out into the room, latching on to broken things. The cracks in the floor healed themselves, The sofas, which had been removed, were replaced. Cabinets re-grew doors and glass bottles of all shapes reformed out of shards, filling with various-colored liquids. At the end of no more than 30 seconds, they all stood in the completely remade room.

Tony looked around, unable to hide his excitement. "Sweet, I got my scotch back!" He ran up to the bar and poured a glass of dark amber liquid.

Loki walked shakily over to the window, visibly exhausted.

Tony took a large sip and his eyes went wide. He put the glass down and tried very hard not to cough.

"Sorry," Loki said, "I am as of yet unfamiliar with Midgardian beverages, so I replaced them with what we drink back home." She continued staring out the window, putting a hand up to the glass.

"S'good stuff," Tony choked out.

Thor came to stand next to Loki, looking out at the silver skyscraper and back at her face. "What are you thinking?"

"I will fix it," she said quietly. "I will fix all of it. Starting with that building."

"Why that one? I seem to recall that I was the one to damage that particular skyscraper."

She turned to him, smiling, and he saw that she suddenly had dark circles under her eyes and much of the color had gone out of her face. The magic had drained her much more than she let on. "Does it not make you think of home?"

He looked at it again. It's sleek lines and geometric designs did remind him faintly of Asgard.

"Hey, my seats weren't green!" Tony shouted.

Loki chuckled, turning around to face the room again. "Sorry, just trying to improve on the original." She waved a hand, and the couches returned to black leather. Then she passed out.

The avengers shuffled around uncomfortably as Dr. Banner checked Loki's pulse. "I think she's ok, just exhausted."

Thor nodded. "I don't know much of magic, but I do know that it pulls on your personal energy. She may not have as much to work with, now that she is human."

Banner put Loki's hand back on her stomach gently. "That makes sense. She should wake up in a little bit, make sure she gets a lot of fluid and some high-protein food."

"So... Are we gonna let her do this?" Tony asked, gesturing out the window. "Rebuild New York? It's a daunting project to begin with, but to do it single-handedly..."

"I think if she did, she would more than prove herself," Steve offered.

"We should call in Dr. Bryardie," Bruce suggested.

The looks from his comrades were not encouraging. "Ok, yeah, I know you guys don't like talking to her, but do you really want Loki following us around 24/7 if he-she's still a homicidal psychopath?"

There were sounds of grudging agreement from the other Avengers. "Clint agrees," Tony added, pointing to the communicator in his ear. "Why you two like talking to that phony head shrink is beyond me. I mean, she's attractive and all, but really. Weirdo."

"Says the man who thinks jumping out of windows is fun," muttered Pepper.

"Hey, I just gotta make sure the Mark 7 initiation is fine-tuned. Real-world testing is the only way to do that." Tony argued.

"Mmhm," Pepper did not sound convinced. "Anyway, I'll go put in a call to her." She gave Tony a quick kiss on the cheek and walked out of the newly restored room.

Loki began to stir, and Thor sat down on the couch next to her.

"Jarvis," Tony ordered, "Bring up something really healthy for the new girl. As in yucky healthy."

"Yes sir," Jarvis replied.

Loki sat up and put her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Are you going to be sick again?" Thor asked in trepidation.

"No," Loki answered, "Just tired. I haven't drained myself with magic like that since I was first training."

"Why wipe yourself out on the big show?" Tony asked.

Loki leaned back into the couch, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That shouldn't have taken anywhere near the extent of my resources. Either some of my own magic was used in the change or this new form is extremely limited."

"Well you better hope it's the first," Steve piped up. "Because if you're gonna do this whole fix up New York thing one floor at a time, it would take you a little over two months just to do the Chrysler building." He gestured out the window.

Loki looked even more exhausted at his suggestion. "Well, it would be much easier if I had raw materials to work with."

"Raw materials?" Bruce asked.

Loki opened her eyes and peered at him warily. "Since you have a good grasp of the natural laws, I'm sure you'll understand me when I say that it is much easier to transform existing matter than it is to summon it up from nothing."

Tony frowned. "Technically, the second option should be impossible. You can't create something out of nothing."

"I didn't say create, I said summon. If you want to get overly technical about it, I must find the materials somewhere in the universe where they are not being used and pull them here into the proper arrangements by sheer will alone." Loki was starting to sound irritated.

Bruce and Tony exchanged a look that spoke volumes. "It's theoretically possible," Tony argued.

"Logically, yes, but the kind of energy needed to accomplish it-" Bruce trailed off, looking over at Loki uneasily. "Well, it would be a lot."

"You can summon energy as well," Loki added. "I will explain it to you in detail when I don't feel as though I have my helm on inside-out."

Jarvis took this moment to announce that her food had arrived, and that he had been so thoughtful as to include a couple aspirin. Tony retrieved the tray from the high-tech dumbwaiter, downed the aspirin and set it before Loki.

Loki stared at him a moment, and then cracked a tired smile. "I like you too, Mr. Stark. You've got... flair."

"Whatever. Just eat your..." he waved his hand at the tray. "Jarvis what is this?"

"It is a selection of Japanese dishes, mostly sea vegetables with a white fish and tofu soup. Packed with protein, vitamins and essential minerals. The beverage is pomegranate and white grape juice, which is high in antioxidants."

"It looks like a shipwreck," Tony said gleefully.

Loki took a sip of the drink, and nodded. "It's good." She picked up the chopsticks and rolled them around between her fingertips for a moment, contemplating the dishes. The moment dragged on and Natasha realized what the problem was. She snatched the chopsticks from Loki's hands, hovered over the tray for a moment as if indecisive, and then snatched up a slice of fried fish skin. She popped it in her mouth and stuck the chopsticks back in Loki's hands. All this took less than 3 seconds.

"What?" she asked, looking around. "It's one of my favorites."

The others laughed or shrugged it off, but Loki stared at her with a confused look before carefully arranging the chopsticks in her hand exactly as Natasha had so cleverly demonstrated. She began to tuck in, trying each dish one at a time. "This is all very good," she said, picking up a bowl. The contents resembled baked beans, but when she lifted some with the chopsticks, it was sticky and stringy. She tilted her head in curiosity, and took a bite.

There was a long moment where she held perfectly still, an odd look on her face. Finally she swallowed with some difficulty and put the bowl back down, wiping the chopsticks with her napkin. "Except that. That is awful. What _is_that?"

"That would be natto," Jarvis chimed in, "A fermented bean dish. Very healthy."

Tony did his best not to laugh, and failed miserably. "I'm sorry, it's just…" he wiped tears from his eyes, "the look on your face…"

Loki looked back down at the offending dish. "I suppose I deserved that," she said quietly.

Oddly, this shut Tony up, and he actually looked a little uncomfortable. Loki picked up the bowl of soup and began to eat it instead.

"I have an idea," Steve said suddenly. He had been staring out the window this whole time, silently contemplating the wrecked vista.

"Fire away, Captain," quipped Tony.

He turned to face the room. "You can recreate things exactly as they looked before?" he asked Loki.

Loki nodded, swallowing. "If I have seen it, or you can provide me with a painting, for instance."

He smiled. "That shouldn't be a problem for what I have planned. What if she only worked on the irreplaceable things? The statues, the edifices, things like that? We already had plans in place to repair New York, but we had no way to replace those treasures."

Everyone thought about it a moment, and a few nodded. "Makes sense," Bruce offered.

Loki frowned. "It doesn't sound like enough, to me."

Natasha laughed humorlessly. "You haven't seen the buildings that were destroyed. Some of them were covered in statues. You have at least a year's worth of work ahead of you this way."

Loki took a long drink. "Well," she said. "Maybe. And maybe I do a few of the more important buildings."

Once she was done, Loki set her chopsticks down. "Thank you. That was—mostly—delicious, and I feel somewhat refreshed. However, I am still very fatigued. Is there somewhere that I could perhaps rest?"

Pepper came back in as Loki was speaking. "I just got off the phone with SHIELD. They have arranged for most of you to be moved to one of their employee housing units. There are cars downstairs to take you there now if you like. You also have an appointment with Dr. Bryardie tomorrow at 11:00 AM."

Loki arched an eyebrow. "A doctor...?"

Tony laughed. "Not a real doctor. A shrink. Not even a real shrink," he mused.

Bruce frowned, "Just because she came to us in an unusual way doesn't mean she's not good at her job. I mean, look at Natasha," he argued, gesturing in her direction.

"Thank you? I think?" she returned.

"I'm afraid I still don't understand," said Loki.

"Dr. Bryardie is a... mind-healer, of sorts," Thor explained. "She does not use magic, not like we know anyway."

Loki nodded. "You wish to ensure that I won't kill you all in your sleep?"

The responding silence was very uncomfortable.

"Er... I might have phrased that better," Loki apologized. "Forgive me, I am tired. I think perhaps I should just retire for the..." she glanced out the window to assess the time of day, "...afternoon."

Thor nodded. "I think it is time we saw the accommodations SHIELD has provided for us. He stood and helped Loki to her feet, made his farewells to his fellow Avengers, and left by way of the elevator.

Once they had left the room, the remaining members stared at each other.

"Well," Steve sighed, plopping down on the couch. "Looks like the solution to one problem just gained us a whole new bag of problems."

Natasha frowned, and finished her drink. "We'll see."

* * *

_**A/N: **__Tada! Hopefully that gives you a better picture of what to expect from this story. Not going to post any more until Saturday, though, I need to build my buffer back up!_


	6. Unwanted Advances

_I do not own Loki or the Avengers, and they aren't making me money. __Many thanks to my friend Michelle, who is helping me with the Russian in this story. __**Important Author Warning: **__If, at any point during this chapter, you're like "EWWW! No!" and are tempted to stop reading the story, please read the very spoilery author's note at the end before you give up on me. I promise it's not as bad as it seems._

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**Chapter 6: Unwanted Advances**

Agent Hill met Loki and Thor at the apartment complex when they arrived. "Welcome to SHIELD employee housing," she said, mostly to Thor. "I'll show you to your room." She led them to the elevator and selected the third floor.

As the cabin began to rise, Loki gripped the handrail. "Are these things terribly common?"

"Elevators?" Thor asked. "In newer buildings, yes. There are humans who lack the strength or ability to use stairs, so most places have elevators to assist them."

Loki thought about that a moment. "Why not the older buildings? Is it only recently that humans have this problem?"

Thor shook his head. "I do not know, but I think perhaps compassion for such people is fairly new to this world."

Loki frowned, momentarily disgusted with the whole issue, but then the ruby pendant flashed, and she winced. The doors opened at the same time, and neither Agent Hill or Thor noticed her momentary discomfort.

Maria led them down a brightly lit hallway to a room marked 3B. She fished a ring with two keys out of her pocket and unlocked the door. "On your left here is the first bedroom. For security purposes we suggest that it be yours, Thor," she walked into the apartment further, and Thor and Loki followed. The small hallway opened up into a living room, the left hand wall was all glass, affording a view of a small courtyard. Beyond that was a kitchen with room enough for a small wood dining table.

"The bathroom and laundry room are on the right," she gestured to a couple doors, "And this will be Loki's room." She opened the door and gestured through, but did not walk in.

Loki wondered why she insisted on acting as if Thor was the only person present. She shrugged it off, and walked into the room. It was large, with a twin bed against one wall, and a desk and chest of drawers on the other. Beside the door was a closet, and opposite that was another all-glass wall, with long curtains to either side. She walked up to the window, admiring the view of the little courtyard three stories below. It had a fountain in the middle, and four exits to the outside world.

She turned back to Agent Hill. "I assume there are security measures in place that I cannot see?"

Maria paused, then strode into the room purposefully. "This glass is bulletproof, but even if you were to magic it away, the surrounding apartments have been let to other Agents, including several members of the Avengers Initiative. Directly opposite is Black Widow," she pointed across the courtyard at another bedroom. "Captain America is on the ground floor below you, and Hawkeye is above and to the right, with access to the roof. Someone will be on watch duty at all times." Her voice was almost threatening.

"Thank you, Maria," Loki said softly, trying to diffuse the tension between them.

Instead, Agent Hill reacted badly. She glared at Loki, the first time she had even made eye contact. "I pride myself on my professionalism," she said tersely, "so I will only say this once: I still hate you, Loki. I know what you're trying to do. You think that as a woman you will appear more vulnerable, more caring, and you'll get us to trust you. But I know better. I don't believe it for a second. You can't pull the wool over my eyes."

Loki opened her mouth to explain the truth to her, but the words stuck in her throat. The ruby flashed, and Loki could suddenly feel pain radiating off the woman who stood before her. "I understand," she said quietly instead.

Agent Hill turned and stomped out of the room, past Thor who stood in the doorway. "Here are your keys," she called on the way out, and the Loki heard them drop on the table. "I would not advise giving her a copy." The door slammed, and she was gone.

Loki let out a long breath, sitting down on the bed. Thor took a few steps into the room, regarding her with concern. "Give it time, Loki," he said softly. "These people... they were hurt by what you did. It will take them a while to realize that you have changed more than your appearance."

She looked up at him doubtfully. "Why do you trust me, Thor? Before, I thought you were a fool for always believing I could change. Now..." she shrugged. "I still don't understand it."

Thor sat on the bed next to her, sighing. "You mean much to me, Loki. I must not have made it clear to you, but you were always my closest companion. I may have been a fool for hoping there was good in you, but if I did not..." he paused, looking at her. "I could not bear to lose you," he admitted.

"Oh Thor," Loki leaned her head against Thor's shoulder. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Thor put his arm around her back, and they sat that way for a moment. Then Loki turned to look at him with a strange expression on her face. Thor frowned. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"I am now," she said quietly. "I've been waiting all day to get you all to myself."

Thor was bemused, his frown deepened. "What?"

Then Loki tried to move closer, and Thor stood up suddenly. "What are you doing?" he demanded, suspicious.

She stood as well, walking towards him. He backed away, out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. "Oh, don't be shy now," she laughed coyly. "I know what you want."

Thor moved so the table was between them. "I am thinking you are wrong about that..." he said warily. Suddenly he caught on, a look of disgust crossing his face. "Loki, no. You are my bro-sister, now I suppose."

"No, I'm not," she explained calmly. "I never was your brother, that was always a lie."

"No it wasn't!" he shouted, slamming his hands on the table. "In my heart you were always my brother, and you still are! Even... given certain changes."

"Changes you like?" she asked, striking a flirtatious pose.

"Loki, what madness is this?" Thor demanded.

In place of answering, Loki made like she was going to run around the table, feinting first right and then left. Thor dodged in the opposite direction, but then jumped as he felt her arms wrap around him from behind. The illusion in front of him disappeared.

"Gotchya," Loki whispered, beginning to run her hands down his front.

"No!" he shouted, and threw her off.

Loki flew backwards into the cabinets, and then collapsed on the floor. There was a moment of quiet, only interrupted by Thor's heavy breathing. Then he rushed to her, cursing. "I forgot, Loki, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, are you alright?"

"Can't... breathe..." she gasped, her eyes wide.

Thor whipped out his cell phone, hitting the SHIELD speed dial. "Yes, Loki has been injured, send someone immediately." he closed the cell phone and tried to brush the hair out of her face, continuing to apologize.

Only a minute later, there was a knock on the door. "It is unlocked!" Thor shouted.

Natasha stepped in, hurrying over. "I just got here when SHIELD called, what happened?"

Thor hesitated, unaccustomed to deception. "She startled me, and I reacted badly. Forgot she's human."

Natasha pretended not to notice the lie. "Here, let me check." she crouched down and tugged up the front of Loki's shirt to check her ribs.

Thor stood suddenly and walked away. Natasha gave him an odd look as she felt Loki's chest for broken ribs. "Nothing is broken," she offered, examining the skin for early signs of bruising. "Did you get hit here?" she rested her fingertips on Loki's sternum, which was red.

Loki nodded, and Natasha sat back. "No harm done, then. You just got the wind knocked out of you."

"Feels like I've got Mjolnir on my chest again," she wheezed.

Natasha nodded. "It will be like that for a few minutes, but then it will pass. You'll be fine." She stood up and called SHIELD, canceling the ambulance they had scrambled. She hung up, and looked at Loki on the floor, and then Thor staring resolutely out the window. "So, who's going to tell me what really happened?"

Thor turned around, the color high on his cheeks. His mouth opened and closed a few times, and then he stuttered out a curse and stomped into his bedroom, slamming the door.

Loki propped herself up against the cabinets with a small groan. "It's my fault," she ground out.

Natasha turned to lift a sarcastic eyebrow at her. "Yeah, I kinda figured. Thor's the kind of guy who'd rather die than hit a woman. You must have really wound him up."

Loki took a moment to catch her breath. "I didn't mean to. It wasn't supposed to work like that."

"What wasn't supposed to work like that?" Natasha narrowed her eyes.

Loki's eyes got big and she shook her head frantically.

Natasha crouched down so her face was less than a foot from Loki's. "No lying remember?" she said in her softest, most intimidating voice.

Loki squeezed her eyes shut. "I was trying... to... topropositionhim." She whispered in a rush.

Natasha sat back on her heels, blinking rapidly. That was the absolute last thing she expected her to say. "What? ... That's twisted, even for you."

"You don't understand," Loki murmured as a tear slid from her eye. "He's all I can think about. I just want him to love me..."

Natasha stared down at the girl before her, remembering.

_Is this love, Agent Romanov? This is the basest sentiment, this is a child at prayer. Pathetic!_

In that moment, Natasha decided that whatever else she was, this new Loki was fundamentally different from the one they had fought so recently. She stood up and held out a hand. "We need to talk, you and I," she offered.

Loki blinked at the proffered hand, wiping the tear from her face. She took it, and Natasha hauled her to her feet.

She gestured toward Loki's room, and then followed her in. She pulled out the desk chair and sat on it backwards, facing Loki who sat on the bed.

"You need to slow down," Natasha said simply. "Even you can only accomplish so much in a day."

Loki sighed deeply and flopped back on the bed. "I know. It's exhausting. But I feel like I was just born today and I have centuries of work to do."

Natasha tipped her head, conceding the point. "That sounds like a fairly accurate assessment. But you just got here. You've got time."

Loki stared at the ceiling, silent for a moment. "But that's just it," she said quietly. "I don't have centuries. I am mortal now, and I shall age and die as all mortals do."

Natasha leaned back, at a loss as to how she could reply to such a revelation. "What about your magic?"

She shrugged. "I could extend my life a few decades, perhaps almost a century, but it would be a hellish existence. I would continue to age. Or," she sat up, running a hand through her hair, "I could preserve my body, but I would burn through my years much more quickly."

"No eternal youth and beauty?" Natasha asked sarcastically.

Loki chuckled mirthlessly. "No. Many who do not know it think that magic has a solution to every problem. But the truth is that everything has a price."

"That sounds pretty consistent with the rest of reality." Natasha pretended to examine a fingernail. "What's the price for restoring the city?"

"It would appear that I will have little magic left to do anything for myself," Loki guessed.

"So why do it?"

Loki looked up at Natasha. "You know why. Red in my ledger. Fixing the city is the price for my earlier transgressions."

She stared back, still not completely convinced. "Well if that's what you're really up to, I'll do everything in my power to help you-"

Loki's face lit up. "You will? Really?" a shadow of doubt passed over her face. "Why?"

Now it was Natasha's turn to shrug. "In part, to pay it forward. Helping you helps me."

"And the other part?"

She bit her lip a little. "I have to believe you can. If you can make up for all the things you did, then maybe so can I." She stared Loki in the face, waiting for her to laugh or scoff.

"Thank you," she said instead.

Natasha needed to move back to familiar territory. "But if I find out you're lying, that this is all part of some con, some scheme to gain our trust..." she shook her head. "I know some very interesting ways to kill a person, Loki. It's been a long time since I've used them, but I remember."

Loki nodded, swallowing.

Natasha stood, pushing the chair in. "After your appointment with Dr. Bryardie tomorrow, come see me. I'll be at Stark Tower, so Jarvis can tell you where I am."

"What for?" Loki asked apprehensively, the threat still fresh in her mind.

She smiled disarmingly. "Lessons," she said simply. "Oh and Loki, leave Thor alone for the time being. No means no, ponimayetye?" and she walked out the door, closing it and leaving Loki alone and confused.

"How does she do that?" Loki asked the empty room. There was no answer, so she used a tiny bit of magic to change her clothes into a comfortable shift, and crawled into bed.

* * *

_**Non Spoiler A/N: **__Oh my gosh, you guys, 752 hits in the first week? You make me feel popular! I'm so glad people are enjoying this story. I hope you'll like it even more as it progresses. Which leads me to…_

* * *

_**SPOILERY AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_To those of you who are very weirded out by the whole Thor/Femme Loki thing, I PROMISE you it is entirely unrequited and nothing will come of it. It exists for the purposes of plot conflict and comedy, nothing more. To those who were hoping for some ThorxLoki action (and I know you exist) my apologies, but it's not going to happen._

_**END SPOILERS**_


	7. Revelations

_I do not own Loki and the Avengers. I also don't own Gambit and any of the X-men. But if I don't own Dr. Bryardie, then I'm not really sure what I can claim as my own ^.~. But none of them are making me any money._

_Also, fabulous guest reviewer, please see my response after this chapter._

* * *

**Chapter 7: Revelations**

She awoke the next morning to a soft knock on the door and the sun streaming through her open curtains.

"You should dress and eat," Thor said through the door, discomfort still in his voice. "Your appointment with Dr. Bryardie is in an hour." He walked away, and she could hear his bedroom door shut.

Loki sat up and stretched, feeling from the thrum in her body that her magic had been refreshed. She changed her outfit, trying to approximate the apparel she had seen the women of Midgard wearing: a tight black skirt that ended a few inches above her knees and a slinky green shirt with ruffled cap sleeves. She toyed carefully with the ruby, finding that while she could not take it off, she could change the length of the necklace as well as the appearance of the setting. She made it look like an antique locket. Lastly, she topped it all off with a pair of six inch gold stilettos.

After taking one step, Loki twisted her ankle and fell to the floor. Cursing and rubbing the affected ankle, she changed the offending shoes to only four inches tall. Carefully, she stood, and made her way out.

Upon leaving her room, Loki found that some fruit and pastries had been left on the kitchen table. She ate a few, and then timidly knocked at Thor's door. "I am ready to leave," she called.

Thor opened the door, and frowned at her outfit. She offered him an apologetic smile, and he sighed heavily. "Come, you must not be late to see Dr. Bryardie."

They left, Thor locking the door behind them. Loki was grateful for the elevator for once, not sure if she could manage stairs in her new shoes yet. Outside, there was a car waiting to take them back to Stark Tower. The ride there was silent and awkward.

* * *

Once there, she was delivered into the hands of a nameless agent, who led her to a floor that contained many offices. He knocked on the door of one, and a voice from within spoke. "Come in, please."

The agent opened the door, and gestured Loki through. Inside the room the environment was very different from the surrounding offices. There were two overstuffed leather couches facing each other, one a buttery cream and the other a weathered brown. Between them was a high cherrywood coffee table, and beyond them was a glass-top desk with several bookshelves behind it. On the walls hung paintings and tapestries, and there were at least five potted plants. Instead of using the overhead fluorescent lights, the room was lit by an open window and two tall standing lamps with swirled glass shades.

On the white couch sat a young woman, who could not possibly be older than 25, and looked like she was barely more than a teenager. Her oak-brown hair was so long that the ends of it pooled a little on the couch beside her. "Welcome, Loki. My professional title is Dr. Bryardie, but you can call me Rowena," she said. "Please have a seat," she gestured towards the brown couch.

Loki sat down carefully, eyeing her surroundings. The agent made as if to take up a post just inside the door, but the girl flapped a hand at him in an irritated fashion. "Please, this sort of thing requires privacy."

The agent looked frustrated, but not surprised. He went out the door and closed it.

Rowena smiled at Loki. "Now, would you like some tea?" she gestured to a small iron teapot sitting on a warmer to one end of the coffee table.

Loki shrugged. "I suppose. I've never had it."

"Hmm... something simple then..." She leaned down and retrieved a round tin with a pattern of bamboo leaves etched in the lacquer. Opening it, she scooped out something that looked like small brown pine needles and dropped it into the teapot. She replaced the lid of the teapot and covered it with an embroidered cloth. "I find that serving tea relaxes people," she explained. "I don't want you to feel like you're being interrogated. I just want to get to know you."

"Really?" Loki asked doubtfully.

Rowena looked up, her eyes sparkling. "Yes, actually. I've heard so much about you, and I've always thought you would be fascinating to meet. But before we talk about you, I want you to ask me anything you like about myself."

Loki shifted uncomfortably, trying to figure out this strange young woman. "Tony Stark expressed some... doubts about your authenticity."

Rowena chuckled and leaned back into her couch. "Straight to the point, yes? He has good enough reason to feel that way. I didn't go to graduate school to earn my degree as most psychologists do." She gestured to a small framed certificate on the wall. "It's an honorary degree, which even I admit SHIELD acquired for me. But before I worked here I had a lot of experience in a very similar field."

She began pulling cups and saucers out of the drawers of the coffee table, pouring the tea into each and adding what looked to be honey and milk. "The only real difference, of course, was that very few of my clients at the time were alive."

Rowena handed the cup to Loki, who out of surprise took it unthinking. She chuckled at Loki's expression, and picked up her own teacup. "You see, I have an ability which is actually not all that uncommon amongst humans. For whatever reason, I can see things which are not physical, and only exist as energy. Of course, seeing isn't really a very good analogy, it's more like something between feeling and smelling."

Loki nodded, understanding. "Sensing magic works much the same way."

"Right." Rowena took a sip of her tea, sighing in contentment for a moment. Loki decided to try hers as well, and found it pleasant enough, although a little too sweet for her taste.

"One of the things which manifests as energy only are the spirits of humans who have lost their physical bodies-died-and have not resolved what to do with their energy forms." She turned the cup around in her hand, studying the pattern.

"Ghosts?" Loki asked.

She smiled up at her. "Yes, ghosts. There are also a number of other entities which never were human nor had a physical form, but for the most part I dealt with ghosts. I helped them get over whatever emotional problems were preventing them from... moving on, to use a cliché. I also helped the living communicate with them, when necessary. The common name for my former profession is a 'medium,' a method of communication between this world and the next."

Loki continued to sip her tea, enjoying the way the warmth of it spread into her fingers. "So how did you come to work for SHIELD?"

Rowena smiled ruefully. "One of my clients was dealing with a grudge... he had been beaten at a game of chance, and rather than pay his debts he killed himself. He felt that he could only be at peace if the man who had cheated him got his comeuppance. Normally, I avoid revenge. It doesn't really solve any problems, nor does it resolve unpleasant feelings. But I was intrigued by the opportunity to meet the man he described, and thought it sounded like a good plan. I would enter into a game with this person, a card game, and my invisible friend would tell me whatever he had in his hand, giving me an unfair advantage."

Loki smirked. "That does sound like fun."

Rowena grinned. "It was. But I learned you should never cheat a cheater. He knew something was wrong-he knew, because he could control the cards, switch them without anyone knowing, only I always knew when he did. I could have been in a lot of trouble, if he had chosen to attack me. For all my abilities with the unseen, I am not terribly formidable in the physical realm."

She poured herself another cup of tea, and gestured to do the same for Loki, but she was still sipping her first cup. "Anyway, he didn't attack. He thought I was a telepath, and evidently I would not have been the only one he knew. He brought me to SHIELD, to be evaluated for mutations. But as I said before, it's not terribly unusual for a human to do what I do, and I am not a telepath. Although, I am somewhat able to sense what other people feel, but I've never been able to discern if that were an extra-sensory ability or just intuition from experience."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "I see little difference between the two."

Rowena tilted her head and put down her teacup. "Yes, but you grew up with magic. People here don't believe in it, or they fear it. Many people, people like Mr. Stark, think I'm a fraud, trying to take advantage of poor saps. But I think now we should start talking about you."

Loki set down her cup as well. "Well, what do you want to know? I'm sure you've been briefed on all of my... misadventures."

Rowena nodded, picking up a file from the coffee table and flipping through it. "Yes, of course. But what I'm most interested in is how you have changed. How are you different from the man who tried to rule the world?" She shut the file, looking at Loki.

"I..." Loki paused, thinking. "I'm not really sure yet..."

She put the file down and reached for another drawer in the cherrywood table. "Well, that's not surprising. You've only been you for a day and a half. Perhaps I have something that will help you figure it out." She pulled a deck of long, thin cards from the drawer, setting it face down on the table.

"These are called tarot cards. They are traditionally used for fortune telling, which is another reason Mr. Stark thinks I'm a fraud. There is no magic in your average tarot deck. The truth is that they use archetypes, common figures which exist in everyone's lives, and the skilled reader can use that to make a person think the cards are speaking directly to them."

Loki narrowed her eyes. "You said 'your average deck,' what about this one?"

Rowena chuckled. "You're sharp, Loki. Yes, this deck is not average. It is... jinxed. It was given to me by the man who brought me to SHIELD. For today, we will only use the major arcana, as the minor are more specific and aimed at fortune-telling." She tapped the deck with a finger, and as it glowed purple a little, it un-shuffled itself into two piles. One was much smaller than the other, and she picked this one up. "Now, I could go through this whole deck and help you find some way of applying each card to your life, but-" three cards popped up out of the deck and landed face up in front of Loki. Rowena sighed. "Alright, we can do the demo," she said in a slightly exasperated voice.

"I'll tell you what each card means, and you try to figure out a person or a situation in your life that matches that meaning. You don't have to tell me." She pointed to the first card, which showed a bearded man sitting on a throne with a staff in his hands. "This is the Emperor. He is usually a father figure, and represents tradition, discipline, control, order, and so on. He is the status quo."

"Odin," Loki said quietly.

Rowena nodded, and moved on to the next card, it showed a figure with the symbol of eternity above its head, opening the jaws of a lion. "This is Strength. It represents self-control, compassion, and reliability."

"Thor," she sat back, enjoying this game somewhat.

"Do you want to talk about Thor?" she asked innocently enough, but Loki could tell she was fishing.

"I thought we were going to talk about me?" she replied slyly.

Without responding, the young medium moved on to the third card, a woman holding a sword and scales. "Justice represents objectivity, responsibility, and cleverness."

Loki stared at it a long moment. For reasons she couldn't understand, it made her think of the Black Widow. Rowena glanced up to read her expression. "Like I said, you don't have to tell me. This is more for your sake than mine."

She sat back, putting the cards back into the small deck and watching as they shuffled themselves. "So now that you can see how it works, let's do a simple reading." Some of the cards distributed themselves into three face-down piles. "This pile," she touched the one to Loki's left, "represents your past. The one in the middle is your present, and this one the future, although it is only what you could _possibly _do with your future, not a prediction." She picked up the first pile and laid out the cards face up.

"The Devil, the Tower, and the Magician, hmm..." she poked the Tower a little, as if she did not like it. "This is pretty much the worst card in the deck. It represents disaster, ruin, and chaos. I think here it's meant to represent your attempt to take over Earth, but whether it's the ensuing failure or the damage it caused is up to you."

Loki stared at the burning tower, struck by lightning, at the man who fell from the window as a crown fell from his head. She remembered falling, falling into the void as Thor and Odin rose above her.

"The Devil isn't really as bad as most people think," Rowena continued, "it mostly indicates focusing on the wrong thing, getting your priorities out of order, or allowing your baser desires to get the better of you." She pointed to the last card, the magician, "And this one's pretty obvious, but I find it interesting because it's usually seen as a positive card, although there are undertones of manipulation." Rowena sat back. "Tell me what you think."

Loki stared at the three cards, most intrigued by the last one as well. "I was... I wasn't really a bad person..."

Rowena smiled. "Well of course not. Nobody sets out thinking 'I want to be a bad person.' There is usually a long list of good intentions behind their actions."

Loki nodded. "I wanted to be respected."

Rowena blinked. "But you were, you were seen as nearly Thor's equal."

Loki frowned. "That wasn't enough."

Rowena sat back, thoughtful. "Did you see yourself as Thor's equal?"

She looked down at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. "No. I always knew I was different. I never felt the same way they did, never enjoyed the same things or had the same goals. I just wanted to fit in. Then, when I found out my true parentage..." she trailed off, looking out the window. "It was like all my worst fears and suspicions came true. I needed... I wanted to know that I was still the same person, but..."

Rowena busied herself pouring another cup of tea, and waited patiently for Loki to work it out.

"I was always afraid they would fear me, revile me. Part of me knew it would happen no matter what. So I decided I would make it happen on my own terms, I guess. Although, that certainly wasn't what I was thinking at the time."

Rowena nodded. "That sounds a lot like Borderline Personality Disorder. You reel them in, then push them away, either because you're trying to test your bond with them or because you're already sure they're going to leave anyway."

Loki frowned. "What do I do about it?"

Rowena sighed and put down her tea. "Normally, a personality disorder isn't something you can "fix." It stays with you your whole life, and you can only learn to recognize it and try to work around it. However, if you're able to analyze your actions this well, I'd wager it's not a part of your personality anymore."

Loki let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Let's move on to the present, shall we?" Rowena gathered the first pile of cards and laid out the second. "The Wheel of Fortune represents change, so that's fairly obvious. The Hanged Man is interesting... it represents a new point of view, a willingness to change and accept the consequences of your actions. I'd say that's a good sign. Then we have the Fool." She smiled.

Loki narrowed her eyes at Rowena. "I do not think I am a fool."

The medium laughed aloud. "No, no, you've got it all wrong. The Fool represents 'mystical cleverness bereft of reason,' and new beginnings. I just find it amusing because the Viking Tarot has you, Loki, on the fool card. It's very apt. I think it means a return to who you were before all of this upheaval in your life. You tell me what you think."

She leaned back, still a little insulted. "Again, I'm not sure. I feel like... like there are all these things I've always wanted to do and say, but couldn't because of my pride, or because they would make me look weak. Now that I'm female, that just doesn't bother me as much. I want to set things right, to make everyone happy."

Rowena had a very thoughtful look on her face as she collected the cards. "Last, the future. Now, I'll warn you again, this isn't a prediction. What you do with your future is determined only by your own free will. These are merely ideas, suggestions for which way you might take."

Loki nodded impatiently as Rowena dealt out the cards.

"Judgment, Temperance, and," She hesitated for just a moment, and a small crease appeared on her forehead. "The High Priestess." She bit her lip, thinking. "Well, I think you're already on the right path. Judgment and Temperance both encourage you to take action to right the wrongs you've done and find healing in the process." She sat back. "I like your idea of repairing New York, but I think you should take a little time to get settled first. Decorate your bedroom, magic yourself up a nice wardrobe, work on making friends. You may be too exhausted to do these things later, and they are important."

"And the High Priestess?" Loki was intrigued by her response, and would not be distracted.

"It represents a female force in your life, which reminds me." She reached under the table and grabbed a book, handing it to Loki. It was titled "The Care and Keeping of You," and was obviously geared towards little girls.

"I'm sorry it's a little immature, but it was the only thing I could find on short notice. It should help you figure out how to care for yourself now that you're human and female, and cover some of the more embarrassing topics. The rest, I believe Miss Romanov and Miss Potts are going to handle." She cleared away the tarot cards and put them in a stack to the side.

Loki looked up. "Lessons?" she asked.

"Yes, Miss Romanov informed me that she's willing to help you learn the fine art of being a woman, and I must say she is a highly qualified instructor, even if her background is even more questionable than mine. Miss Potts will be there to provide a little normality, I believe." She stood.

Loki stood as well. "Thank you for telling me that. She had left me a little in the dark."

Rowena smiled, and put out her hand. "I don't think anyone should ever be left in the dark," she said kindly. Loki took her hand, but was unsure what to do with it, so she just held it. Rowena chuckled a little, and let it go gently. "Please come see me if there is anything else you would like to talk about."

"Of course." Loki knew a dismissal when she heard one, and went out in the hallway to find her agent-turned-babysitter.

After the door closed, Rowena sighed heavily and plopped back down on the couch. She reached over for Loki's teacup, and with quick fingers flipped it over on it's saucer. She peered down into the tea leaves. She was no clairvoyant, but it couldn't hurt to try...

Three cards popped out of the tarot deck, the High Priestess, Temperance, and the Fool.

Rowena rolled her eyes, gathering up the cards. "Yes, I know she is the Anima. But she has to figure that out on her own. And you need to behave yourself, or I'll buy that gorgeous Art Nouveau deck I saw last week!"

* * *

_**A/N: **__Decided to post an extra chapter today so you wouldn't be left hanging with the awkward Thor/Loki stuff._

_To the Anonymous person who left me a fabulous review, here is my response: First, I want to thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful critique. I come from a background where criticism is seen as an opportunity for improvement, and I feel your review was given in that spirit._

_It's true that Loki's attraction to Thor is sudden and somewhat unfounded. I would remind you of Chapter 2, when Morpheus hinted at a 'simple solution' to Loki's negative obsession with Thor, and that nothing could be removed, only changed into something more positive. Also keep in mind that Morpheus changed much more than Loki's gender. If that were the only thing changed, it would be a very different story! _

_I'm glad you haven't given up on me, and it is my hope that you'll find the explanation you seek as the story progresses. It might be a long time before all of your concerns are addressed, though. I don't want to give anything away, but your mistrust of the situation is actually a good thing. So don't worry—it's all part of the plan!_


	8. My Fair Lady

_I do not own any of Marvel's characters. But it's ok, because I'm not getting money from them either._

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**Chapter 8: My Fair Lady**_  
_

Jarvis directed Loki to what he referred to as "The Media Room" when she asked the empty air for Natasha's location. After a few minutes of wandering, with politely phrased directions from the butler AI, she found it. On the left hand wall was an impressive array of screens in various sizes. They were all currently turned off. Opposite them was a semi-circle of low, overstuffed couches. They were modular, and one section had been turned to face the others.

On the larger curve sat Natasha and Pepper, chatting away animatedly. As soon as Loki entered the room, Pepper jumped up. "Loki!" she said, doing an admirable job of hiding any awkwardness. "Come, have a seat. How was your meeting with Dr. Bryardie?"

"Enlightening." Loki flopped down on the shorter couch opposite them, dropping the book beside her and reaching down to rub an ankle. How did Midgardian women _walk _in these things all day?

Natasha and Pepper exchanged a telling look. "Clothes or posture first?" Pepper asked.

"Clothes, definitely. Posture will take longer." Natasha replied.

Loki frowned. "What's wrong with my clothes?" she asked.

"Nothing, in theory," Natasha said pleasantly. "The outfit is good, if you're going for skanky secretary." To her credit, there wasn't an ounce of sarcasm in her voice.

Pepper nodded. "Yes, it does look like something you would have worn when we first met."

Natasha laughed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

Pepper took a sip of her water. "Nope."

She turned back to Loki, "However, you can't sit like that in it, especially since I'm pretty sure you're not wearing anything underneath it."

Loki tried sitting up with her knees pressed together, as both Natasha and Pepper were. "And what, pray tell, am I _supposed_to be wearing underneath of it?"

Pepper and Natasha exchanged another look. "Ok, you win," Pepper fished a bill from the interior pocket of her blazer and handed it over to Natasha with an incredulous look.

"What's that all about?" Loki eyed the exchange warily.

"I made a bet with Pepper that Asgardians don't wear underwear." She tossed a magazine to Loki, who caught it and began looking through it. It was mostly populated by women wearing very skimpy outfits. "Most humans wear these things under their clothes."

Loki looked closer at one of the pictures. "Why? They don't look very comfortable."

Natasha and Pepper both laughed at that. "It's true," Pepper admitted, "Some of them aren't. But our culture believes it's more hygienic, essentially."

Loki shrugged, and selecting a black lacy ensemble, magicked it on under her clothes. She squirmed a little, getting used to the sensation. "How did you know Asgardians don't wear these?" she asked.

"Well, Thor doesn't, and he doesn't seem the type to deviate from the norm-"

"Wait, how do you know that Thor doesn't?" she asked suspiciously.

Natasha smiled slyly. "I can tell just by looking. I can tell a lot of things about a man just by watching him for a short time. It's part of my specific skill set."

Loki frowned a little. "Like what?"

Pepper was pretending not to listen in, flipping through the stack of magazines they had brought.

Natasha leaned back into the couch. "Oh, you know. I can tell how self-confident he is by the way he moves, if he's hiding something, what kind of girl he'd like, how he would be in bed, that sort of thing."

She raised a doubting eyebrow. "You can tell what a man would be like in bed, just by looking at him?"

Natasha crossed her arms. "I can."

"Prove it."

"Fine, pick a guy."

Loki glanced at Pepper. "Tony Stark. That way she can tell us if you're wrong."

"You're assuming I haven't had more than a look at Tony."

"No, because if you had, she wouldn't be friends with you," she gestured to Pepper.

Pepper gave Natasha a 'she has a point' look and shrugged. "I don't kiss and tell, but I can certainly say if you're hot or cold."

Natasha smiled. Tony would be easy, as she had had the most time to study him. "At first glance, you might think he'd be as self-absorbed in bed as he is everywhere else. But he's very results-oriented and doesn't have the best self-esteem in the world, so I would guess that he'd put a decent effort into making sure the lucky girl had a good time too."

Pepper smiled, "Well I certainly can't complain."

Loki looked at them both, still not completely convinced.

Natasha was just a little insulted. She was good at this and she knew it. "Alright then, let's pick something closer to home then. You."

"Me?" Loki squeaked.

"Yes, you. Before the change. Assuming, of course, that you had experience..."

"Yes." Loki blushed angrily.

"Well, my first guess would be that you were a textbook sadist."

Loki gave her a blank stare, the word meant nothing to her.

"Someone who derives pleasure from causing pain in others," Natasha elaborated.

Loki blushed deeper and sunk into the couch a little.

Natasha was on a roll. "But you had worse self-value issues than Tony, so if your unfortunate partner didn't respond in a way that you liked, you would get even angrier at her. Not a good mix."

Loki looked away, unwilling to admit how accurate Natasha was.

Pepper cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Well, let's change the subject, shall we?"

"What about Thor?" Loki asked quietly, ignoring Pepper's request.

Natasha smiled. "Actually, I'm curious what _you _think about that."

"Wait what?" Pepper asked confused, "why are we talking about _Thor?_"

"It's complicated," Natasha dismissed quickly, gesturing for Loki to go on.

Loki glanced embarrassed at Pepper and swallowed. "Well... He is a very powerful warrior, and I thought that would be... reflected... in his..." she trailed off at Pepper's appalled expression.

"So your preferences have taken a 180?" Natasha guessed.

Loki nodded, wondering if her face could get any redder.

Pepper looked from Loki to Natasha. "Why are we not talking her out of this?" she demanded.

"I'm about to. Unfortunately, Loki, your assessment is way off. Thor may have a tough exterior, but inside that he's a hell of a softy. If he were human, he'd be one of those roses, dinner-and-a-movie, long walks on the beach and a chaste kiss goodnight kind of guy."

Loki sighed heavily. "He never was much of one for conquest."

Natasha tilted her head. "Conquest?"

"On Asgard, there are two ways a man can go about pursuing a woman. He can court her-seek her hand in marriage with poetry, brave deeds, and so on. Or he can seek to make her his conquest, a much more... short-term arrangement. And usually not one for high-bred ladies."

"That's not terribly different from how it's done here, the lines are just a little more blurred. Anyway, as I was saying, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if Thor hadn't even gotten to third base with Miss Foster, but if and when he does, my guess is that he would be the tender, compassionate kind of lover. Not at all what you're looking for."

Loki stared at Natasha's shoes, too embarrassed to ask what 'third base' meant. She had forgotten about Jane. That might pose a real problem...

"Can we _please _change the subject?" Pepper asked. "I have something way less awkward I want to share."

Loki gestured for her to continue, not wanting to pursue the topic any longer anyway.

"This," Pepper pulled out a slim white object about the size of a magazine, "Is for you."

Loki took it from her. It was lighter than she expected it to be, and Natasha had an impressed look on her face. "What is it?"

Pepper blinked for a moment, and then reached out to take it back. "It's a laptop computer," she explained, opening it up. She spent a few moments explaining how it worked, and Loki endured them silently. Of course she knew how to run a computer, that much she remembered from the many people she had controlled. She just hadn't recognized _that _was a computer.

"It runs on an ambient charger, which you don't need to bring with you here, the whole place is charged from the arc reactor. We'll give you a wireless charger to use at home." She opened a browser, and flipped through the bookmarks. "This is primarily for you to use for researching your restoration work, but I took the liberty of putting in some good fashion sites, too. Everything you do will be monitored, though, so don't go looking up any porn, or Tony will never let you live it down," she said laughing.

"What's porn?" Loki asked.

Natasha and Pepper stared at her. "Jarvis, go ahead and install a safe-search moderator on Loki's computer, please," Pepper said, handing the laptop back.

"That would seem most prudent, Miss Potts," Jarvis chimed in.

There was an awkward moment where no one spoke. Loki swallowed and charged ahead. "Why are you doing this?" she asked the question that had been bothering her. "I mean, Agent Romanov explained to me why she wanted to help, but why you?"

Pepper shrugged. "I trust Natasha, she is a very good judge of character, and so if she says you're worth it, you are."

Loki stared at her. "And?"

Pepper laughed. "And obviously I'm a sucker for people with serious issues trying to turn themselves around."

Loki tilted her head.

"Tony," Natasha explained. "He may seem like the all-American hero now, but his past is rather... checkered. That's how we met, actually. SHIELD saw him as a threat, so I was assigned to keep tabs on him."

Loki frowned. "Is that what you are doing now?" she asked. "Keeping a close watch on me, because I'm a threat?" there was more hurt than venom in her voice, but the two other women stared back uncomfortably.

Natasha decided that in this instance, honesty was the best policy. "In an official capacity, yes. But I do want to help you, too."

Pepper sighed, looking at the stack of magazines. "Maybe this is a bit much to dump on you all at once. But if you have any questions..."

Loki picked up the book Dr. Bryardie had given her, staring at it with trepidation. "Allow me to read this first. Then I will probably know better which questions to ask."

"That's a good idea," Pepper smiled. "In the meantime, Tony has extended an invitation for you to join his 'culture sessions' with Steve."

"Culture sessions?"

"Steve missed a lot while he was frozen for 70 years, and Tony seems to think that the best way to bring him up to speed is to make him watch every movie that was made in that time," Natasha explained, an amused and vaguely sarcastic expression crossing her face.

Loki smiled a little. "I've never seen a movie," she admitted.

"Well that settles it!" Pepper grinned and stood up.

Loki gathered her book, magazines, and laptop into her arms.

"Here," Natasha took the stack from her. "I'll drop these off at your apartment so the boys won't give you a hard time about it."

"Thank you," Loki said quietly. "I shall see you later then." And with that, she headed for the elevator.

Natasha and Pepper looked at each other for a moment. "I think this may be more complicated than we thought," Pepper said warily. "She seems so defensive..."

"Well," Natasha stared at the door through which Loki had gone, "that's still Loki in there, and even if she's a new person, she's got a helluva lot of baggage to start off with."

Pepper nodded and sighed.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I am doing this story for NaNoWriMo, so I shall continue posting two chapters every Saturday because I should build up a hell of a buffer. Hope you enjoy!_


	9. Movie Night

_I do not own any of Marvel's characters. But it's ok, because I'm not getting money from them either._

* * *

**Chapter 9: Movie Night**

In the elevator, Loki changed her skirt to pants and her shoes to flats. She kept the underwear, though, figuring it was expected of her. She was tired of playing this game. She found her way, again with Jarvis's polite direction, to the theater. Once inside, she couldn't decide if it was extravagant or modest. At the front was a full size screen, such as she had glimpsed in people's memories of movie theaters. It took up almost the whole wall. But the gently sloping floor held only a handful of overstuffed couches, which bore pillows and blankets and had little end tables on either side. It was much cozier than the rows of flip-down seats, and Loki approved.

"Hey," Tony called from the front. "We were wondering if you would show."

Loki walked down to the front row of couches, and Steve turned around to wave awkwardly.

"I thought it sounded like more fun than learning how to be a girl," Loki offered, scrunching up her nose.

Tony laughed at that, and grabbed a brown bottle from a bucket of ice. "Can you get drunk?" he asked.

Loki smiled ruefully. "I assume so, but I've been warned off alcohol. Throwing up is probably my least favorite human experience so far."

Tony handed the bottle to her anyway. "Ehhh, that won't happen unless you get wasted. A couple of these won't hurt. Then you can steal Cap's cream sodas."

"Thanks," Loki said, and plopped down on the couch. "So what are we watching?" she took a sip of the beer, frowned a little at it, and sipped again.

"We were just discussing that," Steve answered.

"Luckily it's my day to pick, or he'd make you watch 'The Sound of Music.' " Tony rolled his eyes.

"Hey! That is a good movie!" Steve protested.

Tony turned to Loki. "I should never have shown it to him," he told her conspiratorially. "But I have a great idea. Since you've got this whole no lying thing going on, I thought we should watch 'Liar, Liar.' It's about a guy who can't lie."

Loki lifted an eyebrow. "Sounds... instructive."

"Not really, but it's funny." Tony picked up a remote and flipped through a couple menus before selecting the movie.

Loki found that Tony was correct, the movie was very funny. She even found herself chuckling at a few scenes-it felt like forever since she had really laughed. However, as the movie played on, her stomach started to hurt, and she left her beer unfinished, afraid it was the culprit. She settled into a more comfortable position, with her knees pulled up towards her chest.

As the credits began to roll, Tony grinned. "What do you think?" he asked

"Most amusing," Loki nodded.

"It was very funny," Steve admitted. "A little inappropriate, but funny."

"Oh, come on, Cap," Tony rolled his eyes. "Loosen up."

"I thought the lead was a very talented actor," Loki offered.

"What, Jim Carrey? Yeah, he's a comedic genius. Hey are you ok?" Tony had turned to speak to her and noticed that she looked a little pale.

"I am feeling a little unwell," she said quietly. "My stomach hurts. I think the drink was perhaps not a good idea."

Tony frowned. "Well what did you have for lunch?"

"Lunch?"

"What have you eaten today?" Tony asked slowly and loudly, as if she were a slightly deaf.

"Oh, I had some fruit and pastries upon waking," she said.

"And nothing since then?" Steve asked.

She nodded.

"Jeez, Loki," Tony glanced at his watch. "It's like 2 o'clock. Your belly button is probably rubbing up against your spine by now. Don't you guys eat up in the big shiny in the sky?" he got up and went to a small kitchen in the back of the room.

"Well, yes, we have feasts. And when we are recovering from injuries we must take nourishment as well. But it's not really _necessary._"

Steve chuckled. "Well now it is. Being human rule #1: eat three square meals a day."

Loki frowned. "What is a square meal?"

Tony came back down the rows of couches with a plate and glass. "It's the kind golden boy here eats-a meal for squares."

"Hey!" Steve protested, but he was smiling.

Tony handed her the food. "Ham and cheese with a glass of milk. The cure for what ails ya."

"Thank you," Loki smiled. "Why does it seem like you're always feeding me?" she joked.

Tony plopped down on the couch. "Well, can't have you passing out and drooling all over the suede," he quipped. He had pulled up a list of Jim Carrey movies and was flipping through them.

"What's wrong with that guy's head?" Steve asked suddenly.

"Oh ho ho," Tony chuckled with evil glee. "This we have to do. We are going to watch... _The Mask_."

Steve and Loki just stared back at him. He sighed exasperatedly. "Just watch." He pushed a button on the remote and the movie started.

If the first movie had been funny, this one was hilarious. There were many things that Tony laughed at which Loki didn't catch the humor of, but there was also a great deal of physical humor that anyone would find funny. Right away, she could see why Tony had chosen the movie: the infamous mask the movie was named for had supposedly been made by Loki himself. It imbued the wearer with his powers and completely removed their inhibitions. She was a little disappointed when the protagonist claimed he would use these powers to become a superhero. But then he robbed a bank instead, and she found herself secretly admiring the variety of ways in which he took advantage of the ridiculous abilities it granted him.

After the movie, they sat around laughing at Tony recounting particularly good lines. He explained a few of the references, although they lost a little in translation. The meal had made Loki feel much better, and she resolved to keep better track of the time to keep her human body fed.

"You should get a watch," Steve suggested, showing her his, which sported his shield's logo on its face.

Loki nodded, and held out her arm, magicking a slender, more feminine model onto her wrist.

"Whoa," Tony was fascinated. "I have to admit, that is a pretty cool trick."

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "How does it work? I mean, I'm no super-genius, but I'm guessing it's a little different than the movies," he gestured towards the screen.

She stared at the screen, remembering. "Well... I suppose such an object could be created... Especially in the sense that it removed the wearer's inhibitions. But the additional powers... The ability to manipulate the physical world and change his shape... The wearer would need to know magic to tap into them, know how to access it and wield it. It's very difficult to explain."

Tony grinned. "Well I am a super-genius. Try me."

Loki sighed heavily. "I do not even know where to begin," she slumped back into the couch, closing her eyes. "The first _century _I studied magic I did not even do the simplest spells. I only learned how to watch, to listen, to _feel _for the magic, how it flows and works. My mother..." her voice caught a little in her throat, but she continued, "would let me watch her work. Then, in the second century, she taught me very small things, like this," she held out a hand, and a small green flame came to life above it.

Tony was instantly mesmerized, but Steve frowned as the gears turned in his head.

"Wait, how old are you?"

"Time moves differently here than it does in Asgard. What year is it?"

"2012," Steve sounded as if he almost couldn't believe it himself.

"And when did Midgardians begin to worship my people as gods? I would guess that event would coincide with the war with Jotenheim, which spilled over into your world."

Steve shrugged. "Jarvis?" he asked.

"The earliest textual evidence of the Norse religion dates back to the late 9th century," the disembodied voice replied.

Loki shrugged. "There you go. About twelve hundred years."

Tony and Steve stared back at her, astounded. "Well, you got me beat," Steve laughed.

"I have an idea," Tony sat up straight. "I might not be able to _feel the magic_, but I bet if you did some hocus pocus in front of my high-tech sensor array, it might be able to tell us how you do what you do in words we understand."

"Words _you _understand," Steve muttered.

Tony hopped off the couch and held out a hand to Loki. "By _we _I mean the good doctor and I."

Loki had reached out to take Tony's hand, but froze when she realized who he meant. She pulled back her hand, looking like she wanted to disappear into the couch. "Does Dr. Banner _have _to be there?" she whispered.

Tony frowned.

"Hey," Steve said softly. "There's more to Bruce than the big green monster," he reassured her. "He's a really nice guy when you get to know him. Besides, he really does have a lid on it."

Loki turned to face him and for a moment her fear was hidden under scorn and disbelief. "You honestly believe that? Then you are fools. It was so ridiculously _easy _to set him off. If Agent Romanov hadn't ... distracted me into revealing my plan, I doubt you would have gotten away so easily."

Tony and Steve exchanged a look, shocked by the venom in her voice. They had both forgotten, for a moment, who she was.

Loki ran a hand over her face, sighing heavily. "I am sorry, that was uncalled for. It's just... that kind of fear is not something I am accustomed to dealing with." She looked away from them, thinking. "What if something were to happen? What if your machines do not like my magic?"

"Well, Bruce has more experience with experiments gone wrong than anyone else, but no, he doesn't need to be there. I can go over the data with him later." Tony offered.

"Ok," she said quietly, and got to her feet without Tony's assistance.

"I think I'll hit the gym, then," Steve offered as a farewell, heading out the door.

"Make sure it doesn't hit back!" Tony shouted after him. Steve laughed and waved behind him.

"What was that all about?" Loki asked.

"Oh, Cap's been having a hard time finding sparring partners at his ability level. Us puny mortals just aren't up to scratch, but your brother swings a little too hard."

"That sounds about right, I remember he was fairly evenly matched with me in Stuttgart," Loki agreed.

Tony frowned. "You remember Stuttgart?"

Loki bit her lip. "Most of it. I don't remember _why _I was there. It was to be a diversion, but there was something else..."

Tony rubbed a hand through his hair. "If I remember Barton's report correctly, you stole a guy's eyeball."

Loki's nose wrinkled. "His _eyeball_? How-" she paused as her ruby pendant flashed and a little color drained from her face. "No, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"Aaaaaaanyway," Tony steered the conversation back on track, "I built a training dummy with some AI to spar with him. We're still working out the bugs."

"Bugs?" Loki asked as the elevator returned to take them up to the lab.

"Last week it actually managed to give him a black eye in the first 30 seconds. It was gone an hour later, of course, but it was something of a new experience for him. We just need to dial it down a bit," he chuckled.

Loki smiled in response but seemed preoccupied. Tony left her to her thoughts as they rode the elevator up to the lab, he had never liked talking in elevators anyway.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Fun fact: The date listed at the beginning of Thor is in the 900's, so Loki is actually a little less than 1100 years old, but the information Jarvis gave is correct. *shrugs* A century or two off is close enough, right? lol_


	10. Magic and Science

_Don't own Loki and friends, not making money off this. Also, slight spoilers for the Item 47 short that's on the Avengers DVD. If you haven't seen it, you need to._

* * *

**Chapter 10: Magic and Science**_  
_

Once they reached the lab, Tony gestured towards a station next to an open-ended box. The walls of the box were dark gray and looked porous.

"We've been using this to analyze the weapons the Chitauri left behind," he explained.

Loki frowned. "Those weapons should be unable to work without the Tesseract powering them."

Tony grinned. "Oh, they don't. But some punk kid figured out how to hot-wire them, and decided to go out and rob a bunch of banks."

"What happened to him?" Loki looked genuinely concerned.

"SHIELD hired him," Tony offered quickly, "But why do you care?"

Loki fingered the edge of the sensor box. "I feel like... like it's my fault, you know? I brought them here, so anything they left behind, any trouble that caused..."

Tony stared at Loki for a long moment. It was pretty clear to him that she was in fact the same Loki who had tried to take over the world a couple weeks ago. But at the same time, she was very different, and not just because she was more fun to look at.

"So what should I do?" she was trying to ignore his obvious assessment.

Tony snapped out of it. "The flame thingy. Just stick your hand in the box and set it on fire again." He tapped a couple keys on the computer, waking it up and turning on the sensors.  
Loki extended her hand and summoned the little green flame. She could see Tony's face through the clear display, as well as the graphs and numbers scrolling by.

"Interesting..." he enlarged one of the graphs, and tapped in a couple commands, focusing on one area. "Obviously it's plasma, but what kind?"

"Plasma?" Loki asked.

"Yeah, there are four states of matter: solid, liquid, gas and plasma. All fire is plasma, although it's usually a combination of elements from whatever it's burning. This is much simpler, and more stable."

"I can control what it burns, if that helps," she offered.

"How much control?" he asked, unsure.

She gave him a cocky smile. "Perfect control."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and grabbed a piece of scratch paper. He drew a line down the center, and slid it across the table to her. "Prove it. Burn the one side, but not the other."

She raised her eyebrows, but picked up the paper, feeding it to the small flame. Once it took, she removed her hand from beneath it and watched the green fire crawl across the page. She stared at it in deep concentration.

"Will you lose control if you don't stay focused?" Tony asked loudly, always one to pop the balloon to see who would jump.

"No," Loki answered calmly, her focus unshaken. "The fire would return, extinguishing it."

"Return?"

"From wherever it was summoned."

"So that's plasma from somewhere else in the universe? You didn't turn something into fire?"

"That is correct." The fire had made it's way to the dividing line, and continued to crawl downward, ignoring the other half as if it didn't even exist.

Tony sprang into action as an idea came to him. He swiped away the current readings on his panel, and called up another. "Cancel out the background light..." he murmured, glancing up at the ceiling. He made a few more adjustments, and suddenly the graph turned green, a name appearing above it. "That can't be right..."

"What?"

"I ran a spectrometer on it, it's what astrophysicists like Foster and Selvig use to determine the composition of a star, just by looking at the light it emits. Stars are basically big balls of plasma, so..."

"So what is the problem?" Loki watched as the last of the side of paper burned away, and set it back down on the counter, but Tony was too wrapped up in the new mystery to notice.

"This says it's made of sulfur. Sulfur isn't even conductive, and at normal atmosphere it's always almost always solid... to make plasma from it..." he glanced around the lab as if it would answer his questions, "you'd have to be in the middle of a supernova." he finished.

"What is a supernova?" Loki asked.

"When a star destabilizes... dies, really, it explodes," he said.

"Yes, I am familiar with this phenomenon, go on,"

"Well we call it a supernova," Tony finished lamely.

Loki thought about that a moment. "It's certainly possible that the fire was summoned from a dying star," she answered casually. "Mjulnir was forged in just such a place."

Tony stared at her in disbelief. "I suppose that would explain the density..." he muttered absentmindedly. "But. But! If you summoned sulfur plasma here, why didn't it cause an enormous explosion, or dissipate or coalesce into a solid?! For that matter, why hasn't your hand, much less everything in a 5-mile radius, been totally vaporized? It should be much hotter than..." he gestured wildly, "a freaking _lighter_."

Loki shrugged. "Magic. It's much harder to actually summon than it is to control."

Tony ran a hand through his hair. "Ok, let me pull everything up." He started tapping on commands on his panel until it was filled with little windows. He pulled over a second panel so he could open even more.

"Summon the fire, start the paper burning, and then make it go away," he ordered.

Loki picked up the paper, a little unsure what she had gotten herself into, and did as she was told. Once she had done it, he immediately started analyzing the raw data.

He tapped a window, and after a moment Dr. Banner's face appeared in it. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Bruce, you gotta come up here. This is some really whack data." he didn't even turn to face the video call as he spoke. Bruce spied Loki in the background, and offered her a sympathetic look.

"Ok, but it will take me a while to get over there."

"Whatever," Tony ended the call. He worked in silence for a few moments longer.

"Errrr... If Dr. Banner is coming, may I leave?" she asked uncomfortably.

"What?" Tony had forgotten she was there. "Oh, sure." He tapped the com window again, and this time the face of a man she didn't know came up. "Agent Sitwell, I'm officially designating you babysitter. Take her wherever."

"Yessir. I will meet you at the front, Miss Loki," he said politely, and ended the call.

"Off you go then," Tony said absently. "I've got work to do."

Loki felt a little hurt at his dismissal, and the feeling only intensified as she endured the unnerving ride down the elevator. It must have shown on her face, because when she met agent Sitwell at the front doors, he patted her consolingly on the arm.

"Hey, don't feel bad, he does that when he's on to something. I've even seen him pull that on Miss Potts," he offered.

"Really?" she asked, surprised he could be that much of a jerk.

Sitwell shrugged. "Believe me, she's used to it. She worked for him for three years before they started dating."

They exchanged a look that clearly questioned Pepper's sanity.

"So, where to?" Sitwell asked. "I can't really take you just anywhere, but..."

Loki shook her head. "I'd just like to go back to my rooms, please. I'm tired."

Sitwell smiled sympathetically. "Sure thing." He opened the doors and gestured her towards one of the black company cars parked on the street. After opening her door, he jogged around and got in to the back seat on the other side. "SHIELD housing unit 9," he told the driver, who nodded and pulled out into traffic.

Loki stared out the window as they drove, trying not to be overwhelmed by the destruction she saw around her. How was she going to fix all of this? Her reverie was broken by the nagging feeling of being watched. She turned suddenly to catch Sitwell staring at her.

"I'm sorry!" he smiled sheepishly at having been caught. "It's just... Before, it was my job to run the facial recognition search that eventually located you in Stuttgart. It's fascinating, even though you've changed genders, and therefore all of your features are softer, they're all still in the exact same locations. I'd wager the program would still work."

Loki blinked at him. She felt like some kind of insect to be examined, and she didn't like it. Instead of making a response, she merely turned to face out the window again. Sitwell seemed suitably discomforted.

Once they reached the apartment, Sitwell let her in. "I'll be right outside if you need anything." He sounded a little apologetic for his earlier behavior. She nodded and closed the door, hearing him lock it on the other side. So this was to be a prison, too.

She sighed heavily and made straight for her room, falling face-first onto the bed. She vanished her fancy clothes, replacing them with the leather pants and tunic she was more familiar with. When she excavated her head from the pillow, she noticed someone had placed the laptop and magazines from Pepper and Natasha on the desk. The book from Dr. Bryardie was next to them. She got up and went over to the desk, flipping through a couple magazines before tossing them back down frustrated. She glared at the book-she did not want to tackle that right now.

Instead she picked up the laptop, walking back to her bed and curling up with it open on her lap. It booted up automatically, and she stared at the desktop for a long time. She had a general idea as to how computers were run, but the specifics...

"Would you like some assistance?" the voice of Jarvis piped up from the laptop's speakers.

Loki had jumped at the unexpected voice, but then sighed appreciatively. "Yes, please."

"What would you like to do?" he asked pleasantly.

She ran her hands over her face. "I don't know... I want... I need to feel _human_, Jarvis." She couldn't help smirking at the irony of her request to the AI.

"Might I suggest a guided tour of the history of art and music? Most humans cite their creative abilities as the defining difference between them and lesser life forms, although the distinction is somewhat incorrect."

Loki shrugged. "Sure, seems as good a place to start as any."

Jarvis opened a browser, and took her to a page showing highly stylized animals drawn on a rough rock wall. "Some of the earliest known works of art are found on cave walls near Lascaux, France..."


	11. Alterations

_I don't own Loki or anyone else from the Marvel Universe. I am not making money off this story._

* * *

__**Chapter 11: Alterations**

Loki enjoyed learning about the strangely brief history of Earth. She was surprised to find that very little was known about humans more than a few millennia ago. Mostly art remained, and certain humans called archaeologists were left to draw their own conclusions about what the art meant. She realized then why Steve and Tony were so surprised by her age. She had known how short-lived humans were, she just hadn't realized how young their civilization was.

_Father made them_, she reminded herself, _it was only a generation ago in Asgard._

What was even more shocking was how little music remained. It seemed that humans did not bother to write down their music effectively until a mere four centuries ago. As a result, most of the music composed before that had been lost to human memory. What remained, however, was fascinating. It seemed that in those four short centuries humans had sought to fill the void of memory, twisting and changing the art until the music of this era barely resembled that of even a century earlier.

Jarvis cleverly presented the art and music together, moving forward in a chronological progression, and she could easily see how they influenced each other and future pieces. From the excesses of the Renaissance came the restricted, overbearing elegance of Baroque, and then in retaliation then the lighthearted, frivolous Rococo. Humans then sought more than the superficial, diving into the emotional turmoil of the Romantic period, before eschewing religion and sentimentality for the new scientific Enlightenment. From there, conflict erupted between those who sought to relive the glories of the past and those who wished to push on to the new, undiscovered, and Modern. Viewed from such a distance, it was like a fascinating drama, the players taking the stage only briefly, but forever changing the story.

After her enlightening lesson, Loki felt inspired. She decorated her room, using magic to paint an Art Nouveau border along the top of the walls. She turned the curtains and bedding green, and the carpet to a soft gold. The desk and dresser became dark-stained wood in an imposing Baroque style, and she moved the dresser to the corner so she could expand the bed into a nice four-poster. She put a bulletin board on the wall above the desk, and filled it with art and architecture that inspired her. Lastly, she put a large poster of Thor on the ceiling above her bed. On second thought, she cast an illusion on it so that it would be invisible to Thor.

Next, she set about making the apartment musical. Jarvis offered to ask Mr. Stark if she could be given some stereo equipment, as well as a digital music player she could carry with her everywhere. In the meantime, she sought about making herself a piano. This would be more complicated than decorating her room, and she researched the construction and materials carefully. The mechanism in particular was very complex, and she studied a few diagrams carefully before crafting a small model to make sure she understood how it worked. But it would be worth it-Jarvis assured her it was by far the most versatile instrument available. At last she was ready.

She walked into the living room, and selected an empty spot along the wall. She would have liked to make a grand piano, but there wasn't enough room, and so she opted for the slightly more complicated upright model. She took a deep breath, raised her hands in the air, and began.

First she made the case to hold it all, taking the wood from the golden oaks of Asgard. Next the soundboard within, made of a metal she knew would resonate well. For the strings, she stuck with plain steel, unsure how the sound would change with the material. She could always experiment later. Lastly, she fashioned the keys and their complex mechanisms. She studied the little model she had made, and then replicated it, full scale, eighty-eight times.

Almost as an afterthought, she crafted a bench, and then sunk down on it. She could feel that her magic was nearly drained, and fought a surge of disappointment. True, it was the most complex spell she had done in a long time, but she hadn't used a third of the energy she would have had before. She began to feel angry about it, when the ruby necklace she wore flashed brightly. She whimpered, clutching the sides of the bench, and then the moment of pain passed.

Loki sighed heavily. Perhaps now would be a good time to read the book Dr. Bryardie had given her, before Thor got home. She could teach herself to play the piano later. She ambled into her room, picked up the book and started to read.

It was far worse than she imagined. She was already somewhat familiar with the female body, as she had indicated to Natasha earlier, and this wasn't, if she was truthful, her first time as a female... But that had been an entirely different situation. This was mortifying, and she was glad the book was thorough, because there was no way she could ever ask Natasha or Pepper about it.

At last, she finished the wretched thing, and turned to the fashion magazines. These were much more fun, and she posted a few of the better outfits on her bulletin board for the following days. She glanced at her watch, wondering when Thor would come home. On a whim, she used the laptop to try to figure out what she might do to make herself more attractive to him.

Jarvis was rather unhelpful with her search, hinting that it was a very good thing Miss Potts had installed the safe search moderator and wouldn't she rather learn the piano? After poking around without much success, she capitulated and took the laptop out to the living room.

She was practicing scales when Thor came home. She left off immediately, jumping up and running over to hug him. Thor accepted the hug warily.

"Where did you get that?" he asked suspiciously.

"The laptop? From Pepper. How was your day?" she stepped back, running a hand through her hair to make sure it looked ok.

Thor frowned "No, not the device, that... large wooden thing." He walked over and pressed one of the keys, surprised by the sound it emitted.

"It's a piano, a kind of instrument. I made it," she grinned, proud of her accomplishment.

Thor's only response was to deepen his frown. "Made it?"

"With magic," she said, pointing out the obvious.

"What?!" he turned to her, shocked.

She was confused. "Well, how else would I get it?"

"Loki, you mustn't use your magic so frivolously!"

Now it was her turn to frown. "Why not? They didn't have any restoration work for me to do yet."

Thor shook his head. "The others, they will see things like this," he gestured to the piano, "As a flagrant display of power. If you can make this, what else might you make? A weapon?"

Loki blushed, ashamed that Thor would think of such a thing when she had not. "I would never, I can't-"

"I know that," Thor said kindly, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. "But they do not. They do not trust you as of yet. You must set to that task before entertaining yourself."

She sighed heavily. "Dr. Bryardie suggested I use a little magic to make this place feel more like home to me. I guess I went a little overboard."

The frown returned to Thor's face. "What else did you do?"

"Just decorated my room a little," she protested. When Thor raised his eyebrows, she walked to her door and flung it open, crossing her arms petulantly.

Thor came to stand in the doorway, but did not enter, still wary. He looked around with interest, and Loki was very glad she had thought to hide the poster from his sight. Thor sighed. "All of these things could have been acquired for you by conventional methods," Thor said disapprovingly.

"Yes, but that would take money, which I don't have," Loki argued.

Thor crossed his arms. "I have more gold than any mortal could hope to spend in a lifetime. I do not often exchange it for currency here, but if you had asked me for these things, I would have bought them for you. Even the instrument."

Loki found she could not explain to him why it was important that she acquire these things for herself. As much as she craved his affections, she had no desire to be completely dependent on him. And now he seemed to be in such a foul mood. Floundering for a way to make him like her again, she tried to think back to before the change. If a woman had upset Loki, what could she have done to sooth his ire?

Suddenly a little chime sounded from the watch she wore, reminding her to eat. "Let me make you some food," she said soothingly, placing a hand on his upper arm.

"That is not necessary," Thor began, but she interrupted.

"Not for you, I know, but I must eat now that I am human, and I should like it if you would join me."

Thor smiled a little. "You can cook?"

Loki grinned. "Not yet, but I am sure it cannot possibly be more complicated than some of the potions I have brewed." she waved a hand in the air dismissively, plucked her laptop off the piano bench, and headed for the kitchen. "Jarvis," she said to the computer, "What shall I make for supper?"

"That depends, Miss Loki. What ingredients are available?"

Thor sat at the table and watched bemused as Loki rummaged in the well-stocked fridge-courtesy of SHIELD-smiling at the easy rapport between her and Jarvis as she lunged headfirst into the culinary arts. She seemed to be undaunted by the task, her only frustration the lack of specificity in the recipe.

"But exactly how many degrees is 'medium high?' This stove is only numbered 1-10." she complained.

"I do not believe that most cooking requires that exact of a measurement," Jarvis answered. "I believe medium high would be a seven or an eight."

Loki turned on the stove, and held a hand over it. "Why isn't it hot?" she demanded. "I don't think it's working."

"It appears to be an electric stove. It will take time for the element to conduct enough to heat up. I would estimate about three minutes to reach optimal temperature."

She continued working, chopping things that smelled delicious to Thor, as well as cracking several eggs. She beat the eggs with a little milk-once Jarvis had explained how one beat an egg-and then poured them into the pan. The chopped ingredients were added next. She stood staring intently at it, spatula at the ready, as she waited for the conditions Jarvis had described for when it was ready to turn. Then, moving swiftly, she tried to fold it over. Apparently it did not go as planned, as she began cursing at it with a fluency that made Thor smile, remembering. Jarvis assured her that the dish would still taste the same.  
At last she turned off the stove and slid the eggs out of the pan onto two plates. The apartment was full of a delicious aroma by now, and even though Thor didn't need to eat his stomach rumbled in anticipation. She set a plate before him, and fetched some silverware before sitting down on the other side of the table.

"Jarvis says this dish is usually served at the morning meal, but we didn't have any meat," she explained.

"It smells delicious," Thor assured her. He took a big bite, unsure what awaited him, and then groaned.

Loki's eyes became wide. "Is it awful?"

"No," he said through another mouthful he shoveled in. "It's fantastic!"

She looked at her own plate, took a small bite, and smiled. "Oh, it is good! I'm so glad."

Thor nearly inhaled his omelet, and she followed at a more sedate pace.

"Truly," he said as he put down his fork, finished, "even Volstagg could have found no fault with your cooking.

Loki smiled slyly, "Except perhaps that I did not make a full dozen."

He laughed at that, and she did as well. Maybe things would turn out alright after all.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Hey all! The story progresses well, especially as I'm writing this for NaNoWriMo. I currently have a 6 chapter buffer, so I'll continue posting two chapters a week. _

_Also, I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this. It means so very much to me, I can't tell you how happy I am to see how many people are enjoying this story. I hope everyone continues to like it!_


	12. Applications

_Don't own Loki or the Avengers, not making money off of this._

* * *

__**Chapter 12: Applications**

The next day, Loki awoke to find a message from Tony waiting for her on her laptop. It invited her to come back to Stark Tower and help set up the lab in which she would be working. She picked an outfit from the bulletin board, a loose, belted gold shirt over a green camisole with tight black jeans and suede boots. She pulled her hair back into a barrette so it would be out of her way, and left the necklace as it was.

Once dressed, she went out to the kitchen to set about feeding herself. Jarvis had been most insistent that she not skip the morning meal, claiming it was the most important of the day. To her surprise, she found Thor sitting at the table, drinking coffee and frowning at a newspaper. She smiled. _So he's not avoiding me anymore. Good._

"What do you think?" she asked by way of greeting. Thor glanced up, and she did a quick twirl.

He nodded. "It is more suitable than what you chose yesterday, but where did you get it?"

She fluttered a hand at him. "Oh don't worry, it's not magic, just an illusion. I can make my attire look as I wish with less than a thought," she explained.

Thor looked as if he wasn't sure if there was a difference, but he said nothing.

"What are you drinking? It smells wonderful," Loki tried to change the subject, searching in the cupboards for something that wouldn't require much cooking. She found a box of pop tarts.

Thor grinned. "It is called coffee, and it is my favorite Midgardian beverage. There is some left in that pot on the counter if you would like to try it."

Loki quickly read the instructions on the back of the pop tarts box, unwrapped a pair and put them in the toaster. As she poured herself a cup of the dark, steaming liquid, Thor chuckled.

"What?" Loki frowned.

Thor shook his head. "It's just... The first time I made the square pastries, I did not remove them from their bindings."

She looked from Thor to the toaster. "But... It says right on the box..."

Thor laughed again. "I did not think to read the box. Darcy instructed me to place them within the toaster and how to activate it."

Loki smiled at the image, wrapping her hands around the warm coffee mug. "Who is Darcy?"

"A friend of Jane's," Thor said fondly, and she could tell that Darcy was his friend as well. How easy it was for Thor to win the affections of others.

The toaster finished, and she transferred the pop tarts to a plate. She set them and the untried coffee on the table opposite Thor and sat down. Blowing on the coffee to cool it, she took her first, small sip.

She nearly spat it out. "Ugh, this is awful! It's so bitter!" she complained, and Thor laughed.

"Here," he slid a sugar bowl across the table, and Loki managed to catch it before it careened off the end. "Darcy puts several spoonfuls of this in hers to make it sweeter."

Loki quickly added two spoonfuls and stirred it thoroughly. She took another sip, and made a face. "Now it's bitter _and _too sweet." she sighed, setting down the coffee and sliding it away from her. "I shall have to ask Dr. Bryardie where I might acquire some of her tea."

Thor shrugged, already more interested in the paper he was reading. Loki ate her breakfast in silence, glaring at the newspaper and using a considerable amount of willpower to _not _set it on fire. When she had been done for some time, she finally spoke.

"Are you going to Stark Tower today, or will I need to procure some transportation for myself?" she drawled in an annoyed voice.

Thor jumped, glancing at the clock. He folded up his paper quickly (although it was more like crumpling than folding), downed the rest of his coffee in one gulp, and stood. Loki followed him out the door, and headed for the stairwell as he locked it. He didn't question her choice to avoid the elevator, but bounded down the stairs four and five at a time. Loki followed at her own graceful pace, she wasn't about to let Thor make her rush when he had just made her wait.

When she got to the SHIELD car that was waiting for them, she smiled and thanked the driver for holding the door, and did her best to get in the car in a lady-like manner. Judging by the driver's expression, she had succeeded.

As the car made its way through the maze of New York traffic, Thor drummed his fingers on his knees impatiently.

"What are you so excited about?" Loki asked, slightly annoyed.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing." He was a terrible liar, but she didn't push.

Instead she studied the bustling mass of humanity outside her window, reminding her, as they always did, of a colony of ants. There was a twinge from her ruby necklace, but she brushed it off. It was not necessarily a degrading comparison. Ants could carry over fifty times their own weight, and in large groups they could take down much larger creatures. No, they were not to be underestimated simply because they were small and short-lived.

At last the car arrived, and Thor bounded out and off to whatever he was so impatient for. Loki waited for the driver to open her door, thanking him again and smiling pleasantly at the agent who appeared to guide-and guard-her through Stark Tower. It seemed to set him more on edge, but it didn't bother her.

"What took you so long?" Tony asked as she walked into the lab. "Don't tell me you're already doing that girl thing where you take forever to get ready?"

She laughed. "No, it takes very little time for me to prepare myself. Thor, however..." she shrugged.

Tony looked pleasantly surprised. Had she just made a joke? "Must be the hair. I've always said his hair was way too pretty for a dude."

Loki rewarded him with an amused look of agreement. "So, is this where I'll be working?" she asked, gesturing to an open area at one end of the room. She was happy to see that it afforded her a good view of the silver building she loved so much.

"Yup. Brought up some scrap concrete for you to practice on while we're figuring this out." he walked into the area and she followed.

She bent down and picked up a small chunk of the gray material. She rolled it around in her hand, and almost seemed to be looking through it. "This has a very complex composition," she said with a small frown. "It appears to be made up of many different discrete parts, and solidified with a chemical, rather than thermal or pressure-induced, process."

Tony folded his arms over his chest. "Yeah, that sounds like concrete. Crushed rocks are mixed with calcium, aluminum, and silicon oxides, and powdered gypsum or limestone. Get it wet, pour it into a mold, and when it dries, it's like that."

She rubbed her finger over the surface of the chunk, breaking off a little bit. "It will be very difficult to work with. A single element, or even a natural rock formation, would be much easier to manipulate."

"You can't use this?"

She shrugged. "I can, but it will use up my magic much faster." she glanced around the room, as if looking through the walls. She looked up at the ceiling and smiled. "Can I borrow some of the rocks from your roof? I'll put them back when I'm done."

"The quartz gravel? Sure."

Tony moved to make a phone call, but Loki beat him to it, and with a graceful gesture she summoned the material from the roof. "Don't worry," she said in response to Tony's expression. "It's easy to summon something from close range."

Tony watched with a closed face as she assembled the pieces of quartz into a single, giant crystal. _If she can see through walls, and summon things through them, then why, in the helicarrier, didn't Loki just summon the scepter and blast his way out?_

"Ok," Loki smiled. "What should I make first?"

Tony smiled, hiding his suspicions. "Let's start small. Simple shapes. How about a sphere?"

Loki turned and concentrated on the large crystal. She moved her hands in circular gestures, and between them a sphere appeared, clear and almost totally free of imperfections. The source crystal shrank in response. She took the globe into her hands, and then held it out to Tony.

"Abracadabra!" she laughed. "Isn't that what your parlor-trick magicians say?"

Tony gave a surprised chuckle. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"Jarvis had been bringing me up to snuff on human culture," she explained, handing the crystal ball over.

Tony looked at it. It was much heavier than he thought it would be. "Up to snuff? Do you mean up to speed?"

She sighed, deflated. "Yes. Clearly vocabulary is not my strong point."

Tony smiled, tossing the crystal ball back and forth. "Well, you're doing better than your brother. Or Steve. You know what, I'm gonna keep this," he set the sphere down on a counter, making sure it wouldn't roll away. "Now I don't have to buy Dr. Bryardie a Christmas present."

Loki pursed her lips together, torn between being amused and disapproving. She had taken the trouble to look up the history of magic on Midgard so she could understand what she-and Dr. Bryardie, for that matter-were up against. A long line of opportunistic sham artists had taken great advantage of the obsession with the occult that flourished at the beginning of the last century. It had sprouted up in the masses after warfare had risen to a horrific level of efficiency, and many sought to communicate with their fallen relatives. She would have admired their audacity and ability to manipulate the emotions of the stupid out of their money, if it hadn't caused her so much inconvenience.

"What next?" she rubbed her hands together, feeling the energy spark between them.

"Something more complex," Tony suggested. "Like, a head."

Loki frowned. "Any head? A specific one would be better, I think."

Tony nodded. "Jarvis, pull up some images of Michelangelo's _David_, specifically the head," he instructed.

Several views of the famous sculpture appeared projected on a wall. Loki walked over, hand on her chin as she studied the images. "I saw this one yesterday," she murmured. "Is there any way I could get a three dimensional image that I can move?"

"Of course," Jarvis replied, and the pictures on the wall flew out into the room to create a scaled version in detail. Tony walked up to it, turning it around a couple times and then throwing his arms wide to enlarge it until it was the size of a real person, although still significantly smaller than the original.

Loki walked up, hesitated, and then made as if to grab the shoulders of the statue, pulling them down until the head was just a little below her own. She turned it left and right, studying the shape of it. She moved away from it a little, towards the chunk of quartz. Glancing back one last time, her hands began to trace a very complicated pattern. Slowly, from the neck up, the head of David began to materialize between them. Once it had fully formed, she took careful hold of it, and set it on the counter next to the sphere.

Tony studied it, fascinated. She had made tiny flaws in the quartz so it appeared solid instead of transparent. The expression was much more easily readable, the terror and apprehension, and he looked very young. "Jarvis, how closely does this match the original?" he asked.

"It is 92% accurate to the original, if you take the change of scale into account." Jarvis announced.

Loki sighed heavily, seeming to deflate.

"Hey, that's not bad for a first try at copying a master," Tony offered, impressed. "Impose a wire frame over to show the differences."

Jarvis complied, and they both studied it closely. The differences were very slight.

"Hold on," Loki said. "Could you project something like that into the middle of the room? Another statue?"

"Sure," Tony said. "Jarvis, the Pieta, please."

A digital image of the sculpture appeared in the middle of the room, looking surreal in green tracery. "You like Michelangelo, huh?" Loki said absently, crouching down to study it.

Tony shrugged. "Art's not really my thing," he admitted. "Who do you like?"

"For sculpture?" she stood, thinking. "Rodin, I think. Such movement and expression. Michelangelo's handling of the male form is probably unrivaled, but his women leave something to be desired. With this notable exception, of course," she gestured to the Pieta.

"Well, what would you like to work with?" Tony crossed his arms, remembering that he once called Loki a 'full-tilt diva.'

Loki thought about it a moment. "How about _Les Bourgeois de Calais_?" The image before her changed into a grouping of six emaciated and despondent men. Some of them seemed to be arguing, some seemed resigned to their fate, and one crouched in terror. "This one," she reached out a hand to one figure. "The young one who seems to be asking 'why?'."

Jarvis removed the other figures, and changed the remaining one into a green wireframe. Loki pushed on the sides, shrinking it until it was something you could set on a table. She frowned at it a moment. "Do you have any iron on hand?" she asked, not looking up.

"Uh," Tony glanced at the instruments around the room. "Not straight up, but there's a lot of stainless steel. It has chromium in it."

Loki nodded, and held out a hand. "It will do."

Tony scrambled to get something, truly intrigued by what she might do with it. "A lot or a little?" he asked.

"A lot would be better."

He grabbed a small step stool and handed it to her. "Enough?"

She hefted it, staring through it. "Yes."

As Tony watched, Loki unmade the stool, first taking away all the screws, the rubber feet, and the no-slip surface. Then the metal seemed to melt into a ball, which split into two balls. One was much smaller and shinier than the other. This one formed into a cylinder, which came to rest next to the screws. The other she brought over to the large crystal and the shape of the statue. Drawing material from the crystal and the ball of iron, she filled the space inside the wireframe. The movement of her hands was like a dance, tracing the shape she wanted carefully.

After a few moments, she took hold of the statue and pulled it from its cage of light. She set it carefully on the counter next to the head of David and the crystal ball, and then sank heavily into a lab chair.

"That's it for today, I'm afraid," she said, her voice tired.

Tony was more interested in the statue, which was surprisingly a rich, deep purple. "That's what you get for showing off. Is this... amethyst?" he asked.

She nodded. "Quartz impregnated with iron," she explained.

"Jarvis?"

"it is a 99.5% match, sir. Perfect to the naked eye."

Tony nodded. "Well, I'd say we've got ourselves a working model," he said excitedly.

"Yay." Loki's voice lacked enthusiasm. She was still frustrated that she had so little to work with. Her watch beeped and she realized it was already 11:30.

"Go eat," Tony ordered. "I'll have Jarvis see what he can collect for research on what needs replacing."

Loki nodded and slumped towards the dreaded elevator.


	13. Admonitions

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers, but I'm not making money from this._

* * *

__**Chapter 13: Admonitions**

Loki had Jarvis direct her to the employee cafeteria. He assured her that she would be allowed to eat there, and that her food would be paid for by SHIELD. She entered the large area and surveyed it with some trepidation. It was full of people wearing business suits and ties, all looking very professional. She ducked into a bathroom and changed her clothes to match, putting her hair up in a neat bun, hiding her necklace under a button-down blouse and conjuring up a pair of stylish glasses. Hopefully now she would fit in.

She emerged once more, slightly more confident, and went to brave the food line. By imitating those in front of her, she managed to pick up a tray and silverware, and peruse the posted menu for options. She wasn't really familiar with any of the dishes, so she picked whatever looked good: a couple slices of roast beef, some colorful vegetables, and a tiny loaf of bread. In the beverage area, she spotted a sign on a coffee machine that said "hot water for tea" over an orange spigot. She poured herself a cup, and found little packets called tea bags nearby. There were a lot of choices. At last she selected one called Plantation Mint. She liked mint.

Lastly she headed towards the exit back to the seating area. With dismay she saw the people in front of her handing plastic badges with their photos on them to a woman in front of a machine. She would swipe them and then allow them to pass. Loki did not have a badge, and she had almost no magic left. Her turn was approaching rapidly, and she was about to attempt to conjure herself a badge when a familiar voice behind her spoke up.

"Hi Chloe, she's with me." Loki managed not to jump or turn around. The person behind her handed up her badge, and she saw what she knew she would, a very serious-looking photo of a redhead with the name Natasha Romanov below it.

Chloe smiled and swiped the badge. She handed it back and they were free to go. "How long have you been following me?" Loki asked, her face and demeanor remaining casual.

Natasha laughed. "Ever since you ducked in the ladies' to pull a Clark Kent," she admitted.

They sat at a table in a less populated area. "I continue to be highly impressed by your stealth abilities," she said sincerely.

Natasha just smiled. "I was really impressed with how well you did in the cafeteria. Only someone who was watching very closely would have guessed that you had never been in one before."

Loki lit up. "Really?" she picked up the tea bag and began to read the instructions.

"Yes. It looked like it was your first time in _this _cafeteria, because you had to look around a lot, but the concept itself didn't seem too foreign to you." She took a bite of a dish and then added salt to it.

Loki opened the packet and dropped the tea bag into the hot water, watching as the color spread throughout. "So were you tailing me for business or pleasure?"

Natasha raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. "Little of column A, little of column B. I'm your keeper for the evening, so I figured I'd just come and find you now."

Loki could tell there was something that annoyed Natasha about the situation. She remembered how excited Thor was that morning, and wondered why he would not be keeping her company. "I take it the others will be busy?" she guessed.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Apparently it's 'boy's night.' They're all going to play poker and drink beer and smoke Tony's expensive cigars and we're not invited."

Loki frowned. Exclusively male activities were not uncommon on Asgard, and to be honest this was not the first time she had been excluded from them, but it was the first time she had been left out because she was a _girl_. It irked her, and she could tell it bothered Natasha too.

They ate in silence for a while, and Loki found that it was not an uncomfortable one. They watched as people came and went, Loki out of curiosity and Natasha out of her habitual vigilance. Loki admired that she remained professional even in this casual environment, but she wondered if Natasha ever stopped being the Black Widow and allowed herself to be just Natasha. She wondered what kind of movies she liked, where she liked to 'hang out' as young humans were fond of saying. How would she unwind from a bad day? Sparring? Alcohol?

Natasha caught Loki staring at her, and she quickly dropped her eyes to her food. _Barton probably knows these things, _she thought with an odd pang of jealousy.

"Where is Agent Barton, anyway?" Loki said out loud.

Natasha gave her a funny look, and she realized how odd it must have sounded without being privy to her thoughts. "It's just... I've been wandering around SHIELD headquarters for two days and I haven't seen him once. Is he on assignment?"

"No," Natasha said slowly. "It's a big place," she offered. "You've managed to avoid Dr. Banner thus far."

Loki set her silverware down on her empty plate gently. "Are you saying he's avoiding me?"

Natasha sighed. She hadn't meant to reveal that. "Well, can you blame him?"

Loki sighed too. "No," she said sadly.

Natasha shifted uncomfortably and tossed her napkin on the remains of her meal. "Clint kind of avoids people in general," she explained.

"With the exception of you?" Loki asked.

A small smile danced across Natasha's lips. "Not always. Sometimes I think it bothers him, that I know him so well." Her expression became serious and distant. "Sometimes it bothers me too."

Loki didn't know what to say. She could not recall the memories she had stolen from Barton. She knew only what had been hinted at in their conversation on the helicarrier: they had been lovers, when Barton had chosen to save her from herself.

Natasha studied Loki for a moment. Why was it that she told her these things? Why did she want so badly to help Loki learn how to fit in here? If she was truly honest, was it because she saw herself more clearly in this new female form of Loki's? She stood and picked up her tray, and Loki did the same. "Come on. Let's go to my place and talk."

Loki nodded, but was unsure. Why did she feel like she was headed for an interrogation?

* * *

In the underground parking garage, Natasha led her to the stall where she kept her motorcycle. It was a lean Japanese model, lightweight and responsive. It even _looked _fast, as it sat waiting in the dim light.

"I'm guessing you've never ridden on a bike before?" Natasha asked.

Loki shook her head. "Is it difficult?"

Natasha took her helmet out of a metal storage locker on the wall. "In a pencil skirt? Yes."

She looked down at her clothes, still the business suit from the cafeteria. She waved a hand and they changed to look more like Natasha's, a black leather ensemble with lime green piping. "Better?"

Natasha nodded. "Nice. Very _Tron_. You'll need a helmet, too." she showed hers to Loki, who duplicated it. "Now... do you remember how the Chitauri vehicles worked?"

Loki thought about it. The memories were patchy, vague. She remembered the feel of the wind driving into her face, the way the slightest shift in balance was carried through into a graceful curve. "I think so."

"It's kind of like that. You turn by leaning, and you'll need to lean with me for it to work." She got on the bike, and patted the small spare seat. Loki sat on it, trying to figure out where to put her feet.

"Is this anything like riding a horse?" she asked. She knew how to do that well enough. Natasha put on her helmet, and Loki did likewise.

"Not really." Natasha started the bike, shouting over the engine and the muffling effect of their helmets. "It's easier to just show you." She grabbed Loki's hands and pulled them around her waist. "Just hold on!"

Loki was glad her helmet hid her from the world. _Why _was she blushing? Her embarrassment was quickly forgotten as Natasha backed out of the stall and set off for the exit ramp. She held on tightly, and fought the urge to stay upright when Natasha leaned into a turn. She was pretty sure she had the hang of it by the time they reached the exit.

"Ready?" Natasha turned and shouted back.

Loki saw the rushing snarl of traffic that waited for them. "No," she said, but it was lost in the blast of acceleration as Natasha zoomed into a spot almost too small for them. Loki held on for dear life as the bike zipped between cars and around corners. Finally they reached the freeway, and Loki began to relax, allowing the exhilaration and adrenaline to make her heart race. In what seemed like no time at all, they were exiting and on the quieter roads that led to the apartment.

"That was incredible!" Loki said breathlessly as soon as she got her helmet off.

Natasha killed the engine and set the stand. She took her helmet off, revealing a smug smile.

Loki crouched and studied the workings of the motorcycle. "I have _got _to get one of these."

Natasha looked uncomfortable. "Um... I don't think that will be possible."

"Why not?" Loki stood.

"SHIELD thinks it's best if you don't have your own transport. You know, so you don't... run away." It had sounded much more reasonable when Fury had explained it to her. With all her magic, Loki could probably leave any time she felt like it.

Loki continued to gaze longingly at the bike.

"You can ride with me whenever you like, though," Natasha heard herself say. "I might even let you drive it some time." _Why _did she say these things?

"Really? That would be fabulous." Loki beamed at her.

Natasha resisted the urge to laugh, and turned to head up the stairs. Loki wondered if maybe she didn't like elevators either. She was surprised to discover that Natasha's apartment was just across the hall from hers. She remembered Agent Hill telling her that it was on the opposite side of the courtyard, but she hadn't realized it was so close.

Once she had unlocked the door, Natasha held it open for Loki to enter. "Make yourself at home," she said as she tossed her keys into a bowl on a table next to the door. "I'm gonna go change." She went through a door on the same wall as the large window, and closed it.

Loki looked around awkwardly. She had never been invited into anyone else's home before-well except Tony, sort of, and never into the private parts. After a moment she thought to change her clothes as well, back to the outfit she had worn that morning. She walked over to the window, gazing out at much the same view as from her own living room. She glanced to the left and accidentally caught sight of Natasha dressing through her bedroom window.

Loki spun around, blushing. Why hadn't she closed her bedroom drapes? This made her realize that her own bedroom could likely be seen into from the living room. She just might be able to take advantage of that...

Natasha came out of her room wearing a ruffle shirt and old worn jeans. "What are you plotting?" she demanded.

Loki was so surprised by the casual, girl-next-door look that at first it didn't even register that Natasha had asked a question. It just seemed so... incongruous with the Black Widow. "What? Oh. I'm not-" she shut her mouth quickly. She had almost said _I'm not plotting anything_, but that wasn't actually true. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she struggled to find something to say which was true but wouldn't give her away.

Natasha sighed, taking pity on her. "You don't have to tell me."

Loki flopped onto the couch, burying her face in her hands. "I hate that."

Natasha sat on the other end of the couch. "You know, you could always bluff."

Loki peeked out from between her fingers. "Bluff?"

"Bluffing isn't lying. Change the subject. Don't answer. Give an elusive answer, like maybe. Lie with your face but not your words. You should work on that one, especially."

Loki sat up. "Why?"

"Because even though you didn't answer, I know that whatever you were plotting, it has something to do with Thor. You're an open book, Loki." Natasha leaned back and pulled her legs up under her.

Loki grimaced. "Yeah. That's new."

"...noooot really." Natasha laughed a little.

There was a long pause as Loki remembered. "Was I really that easy to play?"

"Yes and no." Loki watched as Natasha's body language changed, as she became the Black Widow once again. "It did unnerve me that you knew so much about my past, but I let you see it, played it up because I knew that's what you wanted. I let you have your moment, let you get in full swing, because I knew eventually you'd start gloating."

"Gloating?" Loki looked doubtful.

"Well, more or less. More preaching in your case, but either way, it's when men think they're winning that they give the most away."

Loki stored that useful tidbit of information away for future use. "You know a lot about men..." Loki trailed off, staring out the window.

Natasha waited, knowing there had to be more to that thought than the obvious statement of the century.

Loki turned back, knowing she was taking a big risk. "What would it take to make Thor love me?"

Natasha groaned, letting her head fall back on the couch as she stared at the ceiling. This again?

"I mean..." Loki thought, floundering around for a way to make Natasha tell her what she wanted. _Flattery! _she thought. "You managed to snag Barton, and he seems like a pretty tough nut to crack."

Natasha frowned. That wasn't exactly the ideal analogy for the situation. "Look, you want to know what happened between me and Clint?"

Loki nodded, and crossed her legs Indian-style, listening attentively.

Natasha sighed. "When I defected, pretty much at arrow-point, I took an enormous risk. For a while I remained in Russia, acting as a double agent. I needed to feel like I had some kind of control over the situation, and sex was the best way I knew to get that. Clint understood. He let me in, let himself be vulnerable to me.

"It proved more than anything that he trusted me, that I was _worth _trusting. It... helped me. Once I trusted him, after I was openly working for SHIELD, I didn't need it any more. Clint is an extremely private person, and it was hard for him to open up to me like that. We're still close, but it's completely platonic. I actually think things are better between us this way."

Loki was disappointed. Nothing Natasha had said would help her in the slightest.

Natasha looked at Loki for a long time. "You've spooked him," she said at length.

"What?"

"Thor," she explained. "Men are like horses. If they know you're trying to make a grab for their reins, they'll shy off."

Loki tilted her head. It was an analogy she could understand well. "So what do I do to make him trust me?"

Natasha thought carefully about what she would say next. She was playing a dangerous game here, pretending to help her. "Try to be more subtle," she suggested. It made sense, except that Thor was a little too dense to pick up on most subtle messages. "Make it so he doesn't even know you're trying."

Loki nodded to herself.

Inwardly, Natasha was relieved. _That should keep her out of trouble for a while_, she thought. "So where did you find your outfit?" she said, glad to be changing the subject.

"The Sartorialist," Loki perked up. "I find that I'm quite fascinated with fashion," she admitted.

Natasha grinned. "Judging by the security tapes from Stuttgart, that's not new either."

* * *

_**A/N: **__OMG you guys I am SOOOO sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had an early-morning meeting to help plan my sister's wedding reception, and then I ran around all over town with my mom, went to her place and sewed a lot, and then came home and played D&D until I passed out. I totally forgot! Please forgive me, I'll do my best to make sure it never happens again._

_On a happier note, to those who are missing 'Original Recipe' Loki (as one hilarious reviewer dubbed him) I am about to begin writing the chapter where he reappears. It's chapter 20, so it will be a while before you see it here, but it will happen, I promise! I think I shall continue the double-posts until then._


	14. Pokerface

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers, but I do this for free so it's all cool._

* * *

**Chapter 14: Pokerface**

Loki and Natasha talked for hours about fashion, art, music, and the Avengers. Natasha ordered Chinese delivery, and Loki remembered how Natasha had shown her how to use chopsticks the very first day she had returned. Not for the first time, she wondered why the Black Widow was being so helpful. She had every reason to hate her, but here she was laughing over 'girl talk.'

Natasha noticed that the longer she spoke with Loki, the less and less she used the eloquent but stuffy mannerisms she had come to associate with Asgardians. She was just about to ask Loki about Asgard when her phone rang. She jumped up to grab it off the kitchen table.

"Hello?" Loki watched that same, strange transition as Natasha stopped being a normal woman and became the deadly assassin she was. "Yes, sir. I understand. No, I know where he is. I'll pick him up when I drop off Loki. Yes. Yes."

Natasha hit the end button and sighed. "Duty calls. Guess you get to hang out with the boys at Steve's after all."

* * *

There was a knock at the door, followed by a round of groans from around the table. "I'll get it," Thor offered. He laid his cards face down, and rose to answer the door. As he walked away, Tony attempted to peek under his cards until Steve knocked him upside the head.

Thor opened the door to see Natasha and Loki. "Hey, sorry to barge in on the boys' night, but Barton and I need to go on a mission, so I'm afraid you will have to watch Loki for the time being."

Loki smiled and waved at Thor, who sighed heavily.

Natasha leaned in the room "Clint? Director Fury needs us down at HQ."

"Got it." He threw down his cards.

"Aw man, just when it was getting good," Tony whined. He had, in fact, redistributed his large pile of chips across the table rather evenly.

"I'll take over," Loki offered.

Clint looked at her, and Loki realized this was the first time they had come face to face since... Her ruby necklace glittered and she shivered under his gaze. "You know how to play poker?" he said at last.

She shrugged. "Split the pot with you?"

Clint didn't seem too convinced. "You can't lie."

Natasha and Loki exchanged a private smile. "Bluffing isn't lying," she quoted.

He shrugged. "Whatever. Just don't bet any of my chores, ok?"

Loki nodded, and slipped into the room as Clint and Natasha left. She was disappointed to see that Clint had been sitting between Tony and Steve. Thor sat between Tony and Bruce. "Tony, can I-"

"Uh-uh, honey. This is my lucky chair," he diverted her.

Loki turned to Bruce, who smiled pleasantly up at her. She swallowed, and sat in Clint's place, picking up his cards. "So... the cards with faces on them are better, right?"

The groans were even louder this time.

* * *

Two games later, Loki watched as Steve laid down his winning hand-three Aces.

"What? I had four queens!" She shouted.

Tony laughed. "Well then you shouldn't have folded."

"But I had a better hand! I should have won," she pouted.

"It's not about what cards you have," Steve gloated. "It's what you make everyone else _think_you have."

Her eyes narrowed. "Well then it's a wonder you ever win," she shot back, irritated.

He shrugged, unfazed. "Beat you, didn't I?"

As she picked up the cards dealt to her, her face lit up. "We'll see about that..."

* * *

Loki stared at Tony over the pile of chips between them. The others sat back, silent, as they watched the two high-rollers face off.

"Well, Tony? You gonna raise?" She smiled wickedly. She had picked up an impressive amount of slang in the last few hours.

He snorted. "You know I'm cleaned out." He stared at his cards. "Dammit!" He threw down a junk hand. "You better have something good."

She grinned wolfishly. "What I have, gentlemen..." they all leaned forward in suspense, "Is a pair." She neatly laid out the two of clubs and the two of hearts. Her eyes sparkled with delight at her double entendre as she stood and raked in her chips, affording them all (but especially Thor) with an excellent view of her cleavage.

Bruce started chuckling. "Well, boys, I think we have a new member."

Thor shifted uncomfortably. "Clint won't play with her here," he reminded them.

Tony scoffed. "Clint sucks anyway. He wears his poker-face _all the time_."

"That he does," Steve laughs. "And I don't think he was ever terribly enthusiastic about it. Close-quarters isn't his speed."

"I shall ask him," Loki suggested fairly. "I think this might make up his mind anyway." She gestured to the pot, which contained a variety of chips, notes indicating chore swaps, and the keys to one of Tony's cars, which Loki eyed longingly.

"Clint gets the car," Tony warned.

"Aw, man, Tony c'mon..." she whined.

"Nope. Rules is rules. No transport for you."

She sighed heavily. "All right. But one of these days you guys will trust me, just you wait."

Steve snorted. "I don't think this really helps."

They all laughed.

* * *

Loki stashed Clint's portion of the pot, which included all of the chores and Tony's car keys, under her bed where she wouldn't be tempted by it. She didn't know how long Clint and Natasha would be gone, but the others guessed a couple days. She remembered that Natasha kept her drapes open, and glanced out her own window each night to see if the lights were on.

During the day, Loki would go to Stark Tower and work on whatever pieces Tony provided her for the restoration. It was slow going at first, because some of the materials had to be special ordered from quarries around the world. Mostly she just decorated her corner of the lab with what she called 'inspirational materials.'

"What is _that_?" Tony asked, staring at the latest addition to her architecture section.

"It is the state capitol building of Nebraska," she said proudly. "A very fine example of Art Deco architecture."

Tony turned his head and looked at it sideways. "It looks like a-"

"I _know _what it looks like, and it has a very inappropriate nickname to that effect," she interrupted quickly. "But _I _think it's beautiful."

Tony raised his eyebrows at her, but refrained from comment.

* * *

At last, three days after the poker game, Loki went to bed one evening to see the lights come on in Natasha's apartment. It was nearly midnight, and she went straight to bed, so Loki decided to talk to Clint in the morning.

When she woke, she chose a conservative business casual outfit and retrieved the bag of loot from under her bed. She had yet to think of a way to spend her own winnings, but Jarvis had suggested she might get permission to visit a book store soon.

She padded quietly through the living room-she knew Thor would still be asleep-and opened the door as quietly as she could. She slipped through, and closed it silently. She frowned a minute at the lock. She had no key, but she figured it wouldn't hurt to leave it unlocked for the few minutes her errand would take.

"Going somewhere?" a voice full of suspicion said behind her, making Loki jump several inches.

She whirled around to see Agent Hill, hand on her still-holstered gun. "Odin's beard, you scared me half to death!" she said breathlessly.

Agent Hill appeared to take that as a compliment. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

Loki hefted the plastic bag full of cash, chore promises, and one set of car keys. "I wanted to drop off Clint's share of the pot before he left for work," she said cheerfully. She hoped her open manner would let the SHIELD agent see that she meant no harm.

Instead she narrowed her eyes. "Then why are you sneaking out?"

Loki sighed. "Thor isn't exactly a morning person, and he locks his door at night, so I'd have to bang on it for like 20 minutes before he got up and Clint would be gone by then."

Hill blinked rapidly, and chose not to ask why Loki knew that Thor locked his door. "Alright. I will accompany you then." She snapped her holster shut, and set off for the stairwell.

Loki was a little surprised, but followed. Saved her the trouble of trying to figure out which of the apartments was Clint's, anyway. As it turned out, it was the one above and to the right of her and Thor's. Agent Hill did not pause, but walked directly up to the door and rapped sharply on it. She then stepped back, leaving Loki to face the door alone.

Clint answered after a moment, and did a double-take when he saw who stood before him. He glanced at Agent Hill and back.

"Er, hi." Loki said awkwardly. She held up the bag. "I brought your share of the winnings."

He stood there a very long moment, staring at the contents. At last he held out his hand, and she placed the bag in it. "Whose keys are these?" he asked, bemused.

"Tony's. I won." She smiled a little.

"I can see that." He hefted the bag. "And this is half?"

She nodded. "Half the cash, all the chores, and the car. I wanted to keep the car, but apparently I'm not allowed to." She pouted a little.

There was another long pause, and Loki cleared her throat. "Errr... Listen, the guys were thinking that maybe I could join the poker club..."

Clint looked surprised, and for a moment a little hurt.

"They thought maybe you wouldn't like that," Loki pressed on quickly, "so I thought I should ask you first-"

"No, it's fine," he said in a clipped voice. "You're obviously better at it anyway." He glanced down at the bag. "Thank you," he ground out, and then closed the door. He did not slam it, but closed it so softly and soundlessly that he clearly had used all his control not to.

Loki closed her eyes, sighed, and leaned her head against the wall.

Agent Hill shifted uncomfortably. "Are you well?" she asked, trying not to let any sympathy slip into her voice.

"Yes, thank you." Loki pushed off the wall and made for the stairwell. She paused at the top of the steps. "It's just..." she gazed back towards Clint's door. "I had hoped for the opportunity to apologize again, but..." she shook her head, and began tromping down the stairs dejectedly.

Hill followed, wondering how much, if any, of that had been for show.

* * *

_**A/N: **__This is one of the first chapters that I wrote ahead, and we're starting to get into the fun part of the story. Also, massive brownie points for anyone who can give the inappropriate name for the Nebraska capitol building (which I went to school across the street from, btw)._


	15. Love Hurts

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers, and I don't make money off of them. Sad, I know. But legal._  
_Also, I'd like to thank my husband, who is the best beta/helper that I could ask for!_

* * *

__**Chapter 15: Love Hurts**

Loki fell into a steady rhythm over the next couple of weeks. On weekday mornings she would go to Stark Tower and work on the restoration. Since she had insisted on doing the Chrysler building first, her job mainly consisted of turning large quantities of sand into glass, in various shapes and sizes. It wasn't exactly the work she had imagined-she had thought she would be able to work _in _the Chrysler building, but Fury insisted that she remain as incognito as possible. So it was that the word on the street said that Tony Stark had donated all of the glass to repair the majestic skyscraper that stood opposite his tower. No one questioned it, since it wasn't hard to believe that he would find the broken building an eyesore.

In the afternoons she would hang out with Natasha and Pepper, if they were available, or watch movies with Tony and Steve. The movies went a long way towards helping Loki understand the culture she now lived in. Tony had finally given her the portable music player she had asked for, and she used it to keep herself company when none of the Avengers were available. Still, she felt very much like an outsider.

One particularly slow day, Pepper had a good solution to Loki's complaining that she didn't have anything to spend her poker winnings on.

"Well, whenever I've got some money burning a hole in my pocket, I go shopping." Pepper seemed excited at the idea. They were sitting in the media room as she flipped through various news channels half-heartedly.

Loki shrugged. "I don't need to buy clothes, I just make them show up."

Pepper frowned. "I've been meaning to ask you about that... You're not _making _the clothes right? Because you wear something different every day, and your closet would be full to bursting by now."

"Right..." Loki wasn't sure where this was going.

Pepper reached out a hand and touched the edge of her bell sleeve, rubbing it between her fingers. "So if it's an illusion, even if it's a really good one, it's not really real."

Loki nodded.

"So... In reality, you're sitting here naked."

Loki laughed at the expression on her face. "No! Well... Sort of. If I were suddenly to lose all my abilities, _then _I would be naked."

Pepper raised her eyebrows. "Well let's hope that doesn't happen then, yes?"

Loki chuckled.

"Anyway, like I was saying. Shopping. Clothes aren't the only thing you can buy. There's food, music, decor items, books..."

Loki's face lit up a little. "What kind of books? I spent a lot of time in my father's library as a young child."

"I can totally see you as the bookish, indoorsy-type," Pepper smiled. "Especially in comparison to your brother." She pretended to ignore Loki's cringe. "All kinds of books, history, biography, westerns, science fiction and fantasy, comic books, _romance novels_," she gave Loki a conspiratorial smile.

"Romance novels?" Loki was intrigued.

Pepper laughed. "A weakness of mine. Sometimes I just get tired of all the press releases and board meetings where I have to be this bastion of Feminist progress. So I find a nice cheap bodice-ripper and take a mental vacation."

"That sounds... highly appealing," Loki admitted.

"Come on," Pepper turned off the TV and stood. "I know just the place."

Loki stood and followed Pepper to the elevator. She folded her arms tightly and mentally braced herself for the long ride down.

As the doors closed, Pepper gave her a funny look. "You have a problem with elevators, don't you?" She sounded concerned.

Loki laughed humorlessly. "I have to admit, it's probably my least favorite thing about this place."

"It can't fall you know," Pepper reassured her. "There are automatic brakes on the cab itself that prevent that from happening.

Loki paled. "I had not even considered the possibility." She swallowed thickly, seeming to stare through the floor. "Down is worse than up. I think... I think I'm just generally not comfortable with the idea of the ground falling out from under me."

Pepper regarded her carefully out of the corner of her eye. She had never met Loki before her change, and had really only heard bits and pieces from Tony. She thought she remembered something from his stories about a part of the helicarrier that dropped away... but hadn't it been Thor who fell to earth in it? She thought there was something more to it than that... She would have to ask Thor.

When they reached the main lobby, Pepper caught the attention of one of the secretaries at the front desk. "If he asks, please tell Mr. Stark that I have gone shopping with a friend."

The secretary she spoke to nodded, but another one spoke up. "I can have an escort ready for you in just a minute," she said, typing away on her console.

Pepper rolled her eyes. "We are going _shopping_, we don't need an escort for that."

The secretary glanced meaningfully at Loki. "I'm sorry Ma'am, but you're not a member of SHIELD, and therefore not authorized to serve as her security detail."

Loki and Pepper looked at each other. "Sorry," Loki muttered.

Pepper sighed exasperatedly. "Well, fine, but make it someone discreet. The last thing we need is some guy sighing and rolling his eyes while we're trying to enjoy ourselves."

The secretary nodded. In a few minutes, a young woman in street clothes exited the elevator. Her chin-length hair covered her ears-and the tell-tale earpiece. She nodded at Pepper and Loki, and gestured for them to proceed out the doors. They all got in a company car, and Pepper directed the driver to her favorite book store.  
Loki chatted with Pepper the whole way there, but kept one eye on the undercover agent. She appeared to be absorbed in checking her email on her phone, and few would have guessed she was listening to every word they said.

They were dropped off in front of an old-fashioned looking bookstore. It was very small, wedged between two taller buildings, but once inside Loki saw that every inch of wall spaced had been crammed full of new and used books.

"What we're looking for is upstairs," Pepper announced, and led them up a tiny wrought-iron spiral staircase wedged in the corner. Once at the top, she gestured to a large display that nearly filled the back wall.

Loki stared at them with wide eyes. There were so many! Each bore an image on the front, usually of a man and woman partially undressed and wrapped in a passionate embrace, as well as a title and the author's name in big, fancy letters.

"There are several different sub-genres," Pepper explained. "Paranormal romance, historical romance, some authors write about specific professions..."

Loki was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed.

"I like Regency-period stuff myself," the agent added, not even looking up from her phone. She had a slight British accent.

Loki turned to face her. "Regency period?"

At last she looked up, and shrugged. "It's a historical period in the UK, during the 1800s. Probably the height of the aristocracy. Like Jane Austen, only I hate Jane Austen. I just like imagining all the balls and fetes, the fancy manners and beautiful clothes. Plus," she smiled secretly, "society was so sexually repressed at the time, and that always makes the love scenes seem more... illicit. I'd suggest Julia Quinn or Lisa Kleypas from that lot."

Loki smiled. "Thank you." She turned back to the wall and located the suggested authors. Pepper meanwhile had found a few that she thought Loki would like.

"Do you have enough to buy all these?" she asked. There were at least ten.

She handed Pepper the stack, and focused for a moment. With a twist of her hands, a thick roll of bills appeared between them.

The agent gave a low whistle.

"How much of that was Tony's?" Pepper asked, humor in her voice.

"Most of it." Loki fished out the appropriate number of bills, and then vanished the remainder back to her apartment.

They split up the stack of books so they could manage the spiral staircase again, and after buying the books piled back into the company car.

"I like you," Loki said to the agent, who had gone back to pretending she was engrossed with her phone. "But somehow I doubt my recommendation would be of much help."

"I'll say something," Pepper offered.

"Thanks," the agent said with an embarrassed smile.

Loki asked the driver to drop her and the agent off at her apartment. "I have homework to do," she grinned at the bag of books.

Pepper began to wonder if she had made a mistake.

* * *

The books were not, as Loki had hoped, much help to her. Very few were at all relatable to her own situation. The ones that the agent-Loki had realized that she hadn't even asked her name- had suggested were the most on track. The men in them were honorable, duty-bound sorts that Thor would probably like.

The problem was that none of those involved a woman trying to seduce such gentlemen against their will. Sure, there were many who sought to attract their attention, but in the end it always seemed to be the men who chose. Jarvis suggested that this was probably due to the era, when men did have the majority of choice. The modern books provided a few instances like hers, but the men were always dark and moody, with mysterious pasts, far more like her former self than Thor.

They were, however, an excellent way to pass the time. She found that she could finish them within a handful of hours, and returned several times to the bookstore to pick up more, as well as books from other genres. Eventually she had to turn her unused dresser into a bookshelf to hold the ones she didn't sell back. This time, she asked Thor's permission first.

One Saturday afternoon in her second week on Earth, Loki sat on one end of the couch, finishing up a paranormal romance and Thor sat on the other, engrossed in a television program which sought to compare various historical warriors to each other. This episode was pitting the Vikings against Japanese Samurai. Thor, naturally, was urging on the Vikings, whose fighting style had been largely preserved in Asgard.

Loki pretended not to be watching, but felt that the Japanese weapons were much better crafted and versatile. She was particularly impressed by a demonstration with the naginata, a mid-length spear with a dagger-long blade at the end. The stuntman using it had sliced the top of their fake-man's skull clean off. Alas, the final verdict was that the Vikings, being more brutal in their fighting style, would have emerged the victors. Thor cheered like a fan at a sporting event, and Loki watched with a peeved expression over the top of her book.

"I'm bored," she announced. "All I ever do is work at SHIELD or hang out here. I want to go _do _something," she whined.

Thor blinked at her, perplexed. "Well, I suppose we could go see a movie. Rogers assures me it is a thrilling experience."

Loki resisted the urge to sigh. She had watched plenty of movies with Steve and Tony, and the novelty had worn off somewhat. But a movie with Thor... "Could we go eat somewhere, afterwards?" she suggested.

"I do not see why not," Thor nodded.

_Excellent! _Loki thought. _Dinner and a movie._ "Great! Just let me change."

Thor began to protest, but before the first word had even finished, she had transformed her comfortable t-shirt and jeans into a spangled evening gown. Her hair was swept up into a mess of braids and curls, and while the front was a conservative halter, the back dipped dangerously low.

"Well?" Loki asked, turning so he could see.

She was rewarded with two bright patches of pink on Thor's astounded face.

"I... I do not believe Midgardians dress in this fashion to attend the movie theater," he stammered out.

"Oh." He had a point. She changed it again, to a pair of skin-tight jeans and a slinky top. Thor seemed to relax. "Hmm..." Loki said with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Does this top look better on the shoulder, or..." she flicked one side of the shirt so that it fell to her upper arm, "off?"

"On." Thor sounded as if he were being strangled.

She grinned, and did nothing to change her clothes. "That's what I thought."

Just then, Thor's cell phone rang. He scrambled to get it out of his pocket as if it were his only hope for survival. "Hello?" he answered without even looking to see who called. Suddenly he stood, looking stunned.

"Wha- no, I just-" he tried to speak over whoever was on the other end. He ran a hand through his hair. "Just calm down," he said kindly. "Where are you? WHAT?!" He ran to the window, looking down at the courtyard. "I'll be right there." He hung up.

"Who was that?" Loki asked.

Thor looked at her, and his face seemed to be lit from within. "Jane is here," he breathed, and then ran out the door, nearly tearing if off its hinges.

Loki walked over to the window, as if in a trance. She was sure she didn't want to see this, but she was driven to look. She put a hand on the window to brace herself, and looked down. Next to the fountain she could see a woman with long brown hair. She stood with her feet far apart, defiant, but one arm wrapped around herself as the other blocked the sun from her eyes. She was looking up at the apartments, trying to guess which was Thor's, presumably. Loki started to step back as Jane turned to face her direction, but then Thor arrived.

He came running into the courtyard, and without stopping swung Jane up into an enormous bear hug. Loki could hear her delighted laughter all the way up in the apartment. But then Jane was shouting something, crying and pounding her fists against his chest. Thor shook his head and kissed her, softly, apologetically.  
Loki felt her breath hitch, felt the hot tears running down her face, and hated herself for crying. She leaned against the window, falling, her legs buckling beneath her as she slid to the floor. There was a pain in her chest, which was all too familiar. She had felt it before, looking up into her father's face as he softly said "No, Loki."  
Sobs wracked her body, and she fought to stay silent. She almost didn't notice Natasha come running into the room.

"What's going on?" she demanded, and hurried over to Loki. She stopped as she reached the window, seeing Thor and Jane's passionate reunion.

"You were right," Loki moaned. "Love is for children. I wish... I wish I were like I was before. Loki the Heartless, they called me. Unable to feel love." She drew in a shuddering breath. "Even that cold emptiness is preferable to this."

Natasha sighed heavily and sat on the floor next to Loki. "It's true that for most, love is a weakness, a distraction. But for a few, like Thor, or Steve or Tony, it is a strength."

Loki sniffed. "And what about people like us?"

She let out a breathless laugh. "I'm not even sure it's an option for me at this point." She glanced out the window and rolled her eyes. "I'd suggest they get a room, but that would bring them up here. Look," she studied Loki carefully. "I'm certainly no expert on these things, but I think the general idea is that if you really love someone, you should be happy as long as they are happy." she shrugged.

Loki wiped the tears from her face. "That is a shitty sentiment."

Natasha laughed. "I think so too, but if that's not how you feel, maybe you don't really love him."

From the door, they could hear the sounds of Jane and Thor talking as they came up the stairs. Loki looked panicked for a moment.

"Come on," Natasha stood quickly, helping Loki up. "Let's go to my place before Romeo and Juliet decide to grace us with their presence."

Loki hurried with her, ducking into Natasha's apartment just in time. Natasha made sure she sat on the couch, and then poked her head through the doorway.

"Loki's with me," she called as Thor came down the hallway.

"Thank you, Natasha. And thank Loki for giving us some time," he called back cheerfully.

Natasha closed the door, and Loki buried her face in her hands. She noticed for the first time that she still had the romance novel in her hand. She laughed at it sadly, and debated chucking it across the room. Before she could decide, Natasha snatched it out of her hands.

"_Bite Me_?" She asked, flipping through the pages.

Loki shrugged. "It's about vampires. And sex. Mostly sex," she admitted.

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Is it any good?"

"Eh... I've read better. Not terrible, though." She glanced toward the door. It was going to be a long night.

_**A/N: **__Dun dun dun! Jane has arrived to spoil the day. I'm sure you're all heartbroken rofl. Don't worry, the ThorxLoki stuff is going to take a huge dive pretty soon here, in favor of LokixNatasha. If Bite Me is a real paranormal romance novel, I apologize. I meant to just make it up and then realized that someone may have actually given their book that title. _  
_I also want to say that I LOOOOOVE all the reviews I've been getting! You all make me so happy! Every time I get an email that says "New Review," it just totally makes my day, even if it's something short. And the happier I am, the more motivated I am to write... I could use a little inspiration, NaNoWriMo is really starting to drag..._


	16. All the Right Faces

_Don't own the Avengers, Loki, or any other Marvel characters, and I'm not using this story for monetary gain. Just to feed my ego._

* * *

**Chapter 16: All the Right Faces**

It grew late, and it became clear that Jane would not be leaving soon. Thanking Natasha for her kindness, Loki left her apartment and steeled herself for what she might find in her own. She knocked and then opened the door, relieved to find them sitting at the kitchen table, chatting.

"Hi!" Jane said cheerfully. "You must be Loki?"

Loki blinked, and nodded.

"Thor was just telling me that you've been through some rough times lately. I'm sorry to hear that." She seemed genuinely concerned.

She folded her arms. "You could put it that way. How did you find us, anyway?"

Jane grinned "Eric was telling us about Asgard and accidentally mentioned that the bifrost had been fixed. After that it was just a matter of Darcy and I wheedling it out of him. Mostly Darcy, actually."

"Mmhmmm. I'm sure SHIELD will be thrilled to hear that one of their operatives cracked under the intense interrogation of two young women and spilled the housing location of several of their most important operatives." Loki said deadpan.

Jane blinked. "Uh, I guess I hadn't thought of it that way..."

Loki gave Thor a look that clearly said 'I thought you said she was _smart_.' She sighed dramatically. "Well I am going to bed. It's late." She walked to her room, closing the door ever so slightly louder than she needed to. She tossed the book on the shelf and flopped onto the big green bed. She could still hear Jane and Thor talking in the kitchen.

"I don't think she likes me," Jane said quietly.

Thor sighed heavily. "It's... complicated. But she is right, it has grown late. You may stay here if you like, I would gladly sleep on the couch."

There was a pause. "That's sweet of you, but I think I should go. Darcy would be intolerable if she thought we..." Jane trailed off in embarrassment.

Loki grabbed her pillow and slammed it over her head. This was the worst day _ever_. She waited until she heard the front door close, and then threw the pillow across the room. She looked at the clock, 11:59. She knew she should go to sleep, even if tomorrow was still the weekend, but she was so peeved she doubted it would happen.

Her attention was caught by a light turning on across the courtyard. She got up to close her curtains, and noticed that the light belonged to Natasha, who was clearly about to get undressed. Loki flipped the switch to close the curtains quickly, turning away and blushing. Did Natasha _ever _close her curtains?  
She found her pillow and her iPod and set it to play her collection of classical music. She lay back on the bed, staring up at the poster of Thor.

The next thing she knew it was morning.

She scrambled out of bed, glancing at the clock, which said 7:18. Good, Thor wouldn't be up and Natasha might not have left yet. She tiptoed out to the kitchen, grabbed a banana, and let herself out the door. This time she was expecting the agent sitting next to her door. She waved at him, and received a lifted eyebrow in response. She walked over to Natasha's door and knocked.

She answered quickly, hairbrush in hand. "Hey," she said, and opened the door to let her in.

"What are you doing today? I really need to get out." Loki flopped on her couch, and started to peel the banana.

Natasha continued brushing her hair. "Actually, I have to go into HQ this morning," she said regretfully.

"Can I come with you anyway? I promise I won't get in the way. I just... I can't stay here." She gave Natasha her best puppy-dog eyes.

They didn't seem to work, eliciting the same raised eyebrow the agent in the hallway had given her. Loki wondered petulantly if SHIELD included that in their training.

"Alright," Natasha said at last, surprising her. "But I'm taking the bike," she warned.

"Sweet!" Loki changed to her riding leathers, her hair back in a slick braid.

"Ugh," Natasha looked jealous. "Well _I _have to go finish getting ready." She padded off to the bathroom.

Loki ate the banana while she was waiting, staring out the window and into Natasha's bedroom. She vanished the peel, debating if she should say something about the way she left the curtains open. Natasha emerged a few minutes later, ready to go. When Loki saw her in full Black Widow regalia, she lost the nerve to mention it. Natasha locked her door on the way out, and relieved the agent in the hallway of duty.

This time Natasha took the time to show Loki a little of how the bike worked; where the accelerator and shifter were, how to run the brakes. She tried to absorb the information, and as Natasha drove she payed closer attention to how much lean was necessary to execute a turn.

As they entered the main lobby, one of the secretaries caught their attention. "Director Fury wanted me to tell you that Loki is to attend the meeting this morning," she explained.

Loki and Natasha looked at each other. That did not sound like good news. As they rode the elevator up, Loki changed her outfit to something utilitarian and somewhat modest, not unlike the uniforms female SHIELD agents wore while on duty. Natasha nodded her approval, and they braced themselves for whatever awaited them.

When they walked into the meeting room, Fury greeted them with a wide, kind smile. This made Loki even more suspicious.

"Welcome, ladies. Please have a seat." he gestured to the table, where Agent Hill was already sitting.

"Said the spider to the fly," Loki muttered under her breath, and she saw Natasha fight back a smile as she took her seat.

"Loki, how are you adjusting to your new life here?" he asked solicitously.

Loki blinked, she had not expected personal questions. "Fairly well, I guess. I keep myself busy with the restoration work."

"Good, good," Fury nodded. "I hear your brother's girlfriend is in town," he continuing with his casual tone.

Ah, so that's what this was about. "Yes."

"I have to admit I'm impressed, this would be what, the second time that she infiltrated SHIELD?" he turned to Agent Hill.

"To be fair," she responded, "I believe she was only an accomplice last time."

Fury turned back to Loki. "You have any idea how she managed to find us this time?"

Loki sat back, shrugging. "Maybe."

"Let's hear it then," Fury's single eye seemed to be boring into her soul.

_Leave it to Fury to find a way to manipulate my situation, _Loki seethed. He wasn't going to let her bluff, and she could not lie. She had no love for Jane, but she wasn't a narc either, and she felt vaguely that she owed Selvig better than this. "I believe she received the information from Eric Selvig," she ground out at last.

Fury sat back, satisfied. "Well then." He gave Agent Hill a meaningful glance.

"Maybe you should think about hiring her," Natasha spoke up. They all turned to look at her. "With more contact between Asgard and Earth, you need someone who can understand what kind of transportation system they're using, in case some other group decides to use it against us. Selvig is good, but from what I understand he's mostly working off Foster's research."

Fury seemed to think about this for a moment.

"She does have a point, sir," Agent Hill said quietly. He nodded but said nothing further on the subject.

Loki glared silently at Natasha. She was _not _helping. If Fury hired Jane Foster, she would never go away.

"Agent Romanov," Fury turned to Natasha, clearly done with the previous conversation. "Here's your assignment." He tapped the console in the table in front of him, and flicked something over to Natasha's screen. She flipped through it, at first with a bored attitude, but then she frowned.

She looked up at Fury, then to Agent Hill, then back to the director. "Sir, with all due respect, Agent Hill looks nothing like me. Even with substantial facial prosthetics, she wouldn't look like my twin, and those sorts of things don't hold up under close scrutiny."

Fury started to object, and Loki cast an illusion, making it look like she was still in her chair while she got up and read over Natasha's shoulder. It seemed SHIELD needed to interrogate a drug lord with a particular taste for twin girls. Fury and Natasha were still arguing when Loki returned to her seat.

"I could go," Loki interrupted.

This effectively silenced them. They all turned to face her, looking incredulous. She took this opportunity to copy Natasha's appearance exactly. "No make-up necessary."

Natasha scrunched up her nose. "Is that really what I sound like?" she asked.

"Yes," the other three said in unison.

"How do we know you're not just looking for an opportunity to run away?" Agent Hill asked.

Loki-still looking for all the world as if a second Black Widow sat in her place-shrugged. "And go where? I am no longer welcome in Asgard. If I wander away from SHIELD, my unhappy former allies will jump at the chance to snatch me up. I believe my change has thrown them off the trail, but I can't depend on that. Staying with SHIELD is my only sure protection, they are not so foolish to openly attack those who defeated them so easily."

Fury sat back, frowning. "I don't remember it being all that easy," he said warily.

"Nevertheless, your unintentional protection puts me in your debt. Natasha has been especially kind in helping me adjust to life here, and I'd like the opportunity to return the favor. You have to admit, I am uniquely qualified for the job." Loki smiled.

Fury did not look terribly pleased with the idea, but she had a point. He turned to Natasha. "Do you trust her to work as your partner?"

Natasha looked at Loki, and it was like looking in a mirror. "I trust her, yes. She's inexperienced, but for this mission I can easily take the lead if she pretends to be shy."

"It's not uncommon for one twin to be more extroverted than the other," Agent Hill added. It was clear that she was not eager to go on this mission, although she didn't seem very happy about her replacement.

At last Fury nodded, reluctantly. "You have a week to train her. Your target will be in London next weekend." He stood, and walked out of the room, Agent Hill hurrying after her.

Loki let the illusion go, returning to her normal appearance. "Well... That was... unexpectedly easy."

Natasha frowned. "They are testing you."

"I know," Loki stared out the window. "And I intend to pass."

* * *

Loki had hoped that her training would fill up the hours she didn't spend working over the next week, but it took only a couple afternoons. Natasha didn't expect them to fight, since they were only looking for information, but if it came to that she believed Loki could defend herself easily with magic. Mostly she just ran through the scenario, and taught her a couple hand signals so they could communicate without speaking. At Natasha's suggestion, she told no one of her assignment to the mission.

She did her best to avoid Jane, but eventually it became impossible. She had to go home every night and sleep, or she would have no magic for the next day's work. Jane, thankfully, seemed to sense her animosity, and usually convinced Thor to go to wherever it was she was staying. But that meant that she didn't get to see Thor much either. Loki did not pray, but if she did she would have pleaded for Fury not to hire Jane. She didn't think she could put up with this much longer.

One evening she came home to find not only Thor and Jane, but also another young woman.

"Hey!" she shouted when Loki came through the door. "There you are! I've been trying to meet you all week!" she jumped up from her chair, and ran over to greet her.

Loki was at a loss for words. "You have?"

"Well duh. Whenever Thor talks about stuff it's always 'Loki this,' and 'Loki that,' he makes you out to be a real badass. I'm Darcy, by the way."

"Charmed, I'm sure," she said automatically. She hoped that in her inexplicable enthusiasm, Darcy didn't notice the flush in her cheeks. What sort of things had Thor told them, she wondered? She looked past Darcy and saw Thor and Jane, who appeared to be trying her very best to be invisible.

Loki's ruby glowed, and she suddenly felt very guilty. It wasn't that she had a personal problem with Jane, she was just... competition. But Loki knew she wasn't helping herself by avoiding them both. She would just have to... share him for a bit. With a sigh, she sat at the table.

Thor and Jane tried not to look surprised, Jane was the more successful of the two. Darcy was oblivious. "Where'd you get that outfit, anyway? It's fabulous."

Loki made an effort to pay attention to her chattering. "Err... The Sartorialist, I think."

Darcy blinked, quiet for a brief moment. "But... Isn't that a photo blog? They don't sell stuff, do they?"

"Hm? Oh, no, I made this."

Darcy's face lit up. "Ohmigod, you can sew? I always wanted to sew but I pretty much failed home-ec, but only because my teacher was a real bitch, and-"

"No," Loki interrupted, realizing that Darcy wouldn't stop otherwise. "I make them with magic. Well, illusion, actually."

This caught both Darcy and Jane by surprise. "No way," Darcy said quietly.

Loki grinned, a mischievous idea popping into her head. She took a close look at Jane, and then cast her illusion so she looked exactly the same. Jane gasped, and Darcy nearly cheered. Loki ignored them both, instead locking eyes with Thor.

'See?' she seemed to say. 'See what I can do?' It was almost a threat, almost a promise.

Thor got the message, and swallowed thickly. Then he seemed to rally his wits, and smiled, laughing. "Ladies, I know you're impressed, but Loki needs to conserve her magic for her work." There was an edge to his voice that let her know exactly what he thought of her little display.

Jane looked at Thor, and then at Loki, who had changed back to her usual appearance. A frown creased her brow, but she said nothing.

Darcy immediately wanted to know everything about Loki's work on restoring New York City. Loki found herself warming to the girl. Her enthusiasm eventually calmed into a sly, sardonic wit that Loki appreciated well. It was certainly easier to deal with Jane when she was present.

At one point in the conversation, Thor and Jane somehow managed to get lost in each other's eyes, their fingers entwined on the table. Loki was just starting to get irritated when Darcy spoke up.

"Ugh, you guys, get a room, seriously!" she made a gagging noise.

Both Jane and Thor jerked their hands back, and Loki thought she could see a hint of blush on Thor's face. She laughed.

"You know what, I think I like you, Darcy."

"I know right? I am awesome," she said smugly, eliciting another laugh from Loki. "Did Thor ever tell you about when we all first met?"

Loki shook her head.

"I totally tased him," Darcy bragged.

"What?" Loki said incredulously. Jane nodded in agreement seriously.

"You're one to talk," Darcy said, even though Jane had not spoken. "She hit him with the truck." Jane started to object. "Twice," Darcy added over Jane's protestations.

Loki grinned, leaning back. "Ok, this I have to hear. Start at the beginning."

"Ok, so we're out in the middle of freaking nowhere," Darcy started eagerly, "looking for this weird phenomena that Jane _swears _is going to happen..."

* * *

_**A/N: **__I love Darcy. I really need to write more Darcy into this story…_


	17. One is One Too Many

_Don't own, don't sue. But please enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 17: One is One Too Many**

The next day, Loki returned to her apartment right after she got done working with Tony. She was hoping to spend more time talking with Darcy, and learning more of Thor's adventures on earth. However, when she arrived she discovered that Darcy was not there.

"She went out exploring," Jane said apologetically. "We've never been to New York city before." She and Thor were playing some sort of game on the television in Thor's bedroom. "You can join us, if you like," she held out another controller. Both of them looked eager for her to accept.

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass," Loki managed to sound polite and to not slam her bedroom door. She sat down on her bed, trying not to feel sorry for herself. She would have liked to explore the city with Darcy, but she doubted that SHIELD would let her. Her few outings to the book store had been closely monitored and short. She had been here nearly three weeks, had behaved perfectly, and still they did not trust her. She supposed it was a very short time to make up for her past transgressions, but it felt like an eternity.

Suddenly, she felt angry. She had already served her punishment, wasn't that obvious? She had willingly submitted to the Morpheus Interface, and it had made a royal mess of her life. Shouldn't that be enough? The sound of Thor and Jane's laughter invaded her room, making matters worse. _Fine_, she thought to herself. She had saved up a little magic in the hopes of showing off to Darcy. Instead, she would use it to exact her own small, personal revenge.

* * *

Tony sighed, turning the cell phone over and over in his hands as his driver battled New York traffic. The first shipment of Italian marble for Loki's restoration had arrived and he wanted to celebrate. But she had not answered her emails, and when he went to call her he was informed by Jarvis that she didn't have her own cell phone. SHIELD apparently thought that since she was under constant surveillance, it wasn't necessary. Just call the babysitter.

Naturally, Tony thought this was stupid. How could a cell phone be a security threat? It wasn't like you could take over the world with one. Okay maybe _he _could take over the world with a cell phone, but he doubted Loki had that sort of technological know-how. And anyway, who really wants to take over the world? So much paperwork.

At last the car pulled into the parking lot, and Tony hopped out. "Find a spot," he told the driver. "This shouldn't take too long." He took the elevator up, and knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Thor answered. "Oh, hello Anthony."

"Hey," Tony tried to ignore the whole 'Anthony' thing. "Loki here?"

"Yes," Thor glanced into the apartment. "I believe she is in her room." He opened the door and let Tony in.

"Thanks," Tony said as Thor went back to his room. He could hear the sounds of Jane beating him at a video game as he walked over to Loki's door, which he opened. "Hey Loki-whoa..."

Loki froze at his voice, and the partially undressed Thor beneath her disappeared. "Tyr's balls! Don't you know how to knock?" she hissed at him, jumping up and pulling Tony in before closing the door. She then re-opened it a crack, peering out. The sounds of Jane and Thor's game continued uninterrupted. She closed it again and glared at Tony. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

Tony held up his hands. "Hey, I didn't know you were _busy_," he joked. "And seriously? Thor? Pepper mentioned you had a bit of a crush on your brother, but _damn _girl."  
She frowned. "He's not my brother," she insisted.

Tony rolled his eyes, "Right, well around here the whole adopted thing doesn't really invalidate those rules."

She glared at him. "Well if you hadn't noticed, I'm not _from _around here," she poked him in the chest.

There was a long pause, and then Tony burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but I just can't take you seriously without your shirt on."

Loki glanced down at herself. She was still wearing her lacy black bra, which was far more conservative than a lot of the swimwear she had seen Midgardian women wearing. Nevertheless, she cast the illusion of a green T-shirt. "You cannot tell _anyone _about this," she said threateningly.

"Yeah, not gonna happen. I would probably be in deep trouble with Pepper anyway. Hey, if Thor's in there getting his butt kicked at Mario Kart," he gestured through the door. "Then who were you-" he was going to say 'doing the nasty with,' but quickly amended at Loki's glare, "making out with?"

Loki sighed. "It was an illusion. An old diversion of mine," she admitted.

"Okay..." Tony really didn't want to continue this conversation. "Well I actually came here to give you this," he held out the cell phone.

She took it, found the button to turn it on, and unlocked the screen. "Thank you," she said, all ire gone from her voice.

Tony was impressed with her ability to figure out the phone so quickly. "You weren't answering your emails, and I couldn't believe SHIELD hadn't given you one, so..."

They were interrupted by Thor's triumphant cheer. Apparently he had finally won a round. Jane's laughter followed, and Loki's face sank.

She turned to Tony, looking haunted. "I have to get out of here," she told him quietly. "I can't... I need to _do _something so I can just forget about this for a while!" she ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

Tony assessed her, and for a moment tried to imagine the situation from Loki's perspective, freaky crush and all. "Sounds like you need to get wasted," Tony admitted.

Loki sighed gratefully. "That sounds _fabulous,_" she said.

"Alright then!" He opened Loki's door and strode out confidently. Loki followed closely. As Tony passed Thor's door, he ducked his head in. "Loki's gonna hang out with me this evening to give you two lovebirds a little space," he said.

"Um, thanks," Jane said awkwardly.

Tony ducked back out and went out the front door. _Hmmm_... He thought. _Jane's a smart cookie, she knows what's going on._ _Somehow, we're gonna have to get Loki's attention away from Thor..._

* * *

"I jus don't get it," Loki slurred a little, pouring herself another drink. Her hand was still remarkably steady, so Tony held out his glass too. "I mean, I've been perfectly nice to everybody, why don't they like me?"

Tony sighed. "You gotta give it time, man," he said sadly. "I mean, you really messed us up."

Loki laid her head back on the couch, trying to make the room stop spinning. "I know. I mean, Clint I get. I seriously fucked him up. Even if he does forgive me, whish I doubt, I don't think we'll ever be friends. But why doesn't Steve like me? I've spent plenty of time with him."

Tony took a sip of his drink and suppressed a grimace. This Asgardian stuff was harsh business. "Well, it's prolly because Hill is pouring poison in his other ear."

Loki rolled her eyes. "Don't even get me started on her. She thinks I'm evil incarnate. But why would Steve listen to her?"

Tony giggled. "Dude, they've got it _bad _for each other," he told her.

Loki frowned. "What, are they..." she searched her foggy brain for the Midgardian word, "dating?"

"Not yet, but trust me, it's only a matter of time."

She stared down at her drink, thinking. "Still, he doesn't seem like the type to listen to idle gossip." She took a sip.

"Well," Tony sighed, "they were both pretty close to Phil."

Loki frowned, and looked up at Tony with a puzzled expression.

"What?"

"Well, I don't... I mean, obviously this is really important to you, but I don't remember. Who is Phil?" Loki asked timidly.

Tony stared at her for a moment. He drained his drink in a gulp and slammed the glass down onto the coffee table. He was trying very hard not to be angry. "He was this guy, kind of a nerd, really, but a cool guy. He tried to make friends with everybody, make it all work. And then you killed him."

Loki's face fell. "Oh," she said softly.

"It's kind of why we all banded together against you, really," Tony said as he poured the last of the Asgardian fire whiskey into his glass.

Loki's hand slowly lifted to touch her ruby necklace. It glowed dimly, and a grimace appeared on her face. She took hold of it fully, for a few moments, and the light of it shone out through her fingers. At last she let go, letting out the breath she had held. She downed her drink and shook her head. "I can't remember it," she sounded out of breath. "I don't understand why. You would think, if I'm supposed to be atoning for my sins or whatever, I would remember something horrible like that."

Tony decided it was time to change the subject. This was getting way too heavy. "So what are we going to do about this whole Thor thing, anyway?"

"Ughhh," Loki groaned. "I thought I was here to forget about that!"

"Seriously, just hear me out." He poured her another drink. "Have you ever thought about just... finding someone else?"

Loki gave him a sardonic look. "Right. Other than Thor, the only two people in this universe who wouldn't rather I was dead are you and Natasha." She took a sip of her drink. "You have Pepper, and-"

"What if I didn't have Pepper?" Tony interrupted quickly.

Loki stared at him, surprised. "Pepper is a nice girl, Tony, you shouldn't-"

"I know, I know," he flapped a hand at her. "But hypothetically speaking, if there were no Pepper, then what?"

A slow grin spread over her face. "Why Mr. Stark," she quoted, "are you trying to seduce me?"

Tony looked around the room, pointing to himself in mock innocence. They laughed. "Well, you're at my place and we're drunk. In my rather extensive experience, that's a good place to start."

Loki snorted, but stopped when she saw he wasn't laughing. "Are you serious?" she asked.

He lifted his eyebrows and shrugged.

She thought about it. Tony was certainly more intelligent than Thor, and that had its appeal. He was rich and lived that way, fine clothes, fast cars, and parties with all the best of society. Certainly he could offer her the kind of lifestyle she wanted. He wan't as tall or muscular as Thor, but he wasn't bad to look at either, with his devil-may-care hairstyle and trim goatee.

Suddenly she wondered what it would be like to kiss a man with a mustache. Any man, really. She wasn't likely to get a chance with Thor... She realized she had been staring at his lips. She glanced up and saw him looking at her with hooded eyes. Somehow, without her noticing, they had each leaned closer to each other. She closed her eyes, and leaned a little more...

They kissed. After a moment, he pulled away, looking into her eyes with a question written on his face. A smile snuck into her expression, and suddenly they both burst out laughing.

"Okay, that _never _happened," Loki fell back on the couch in hysterics.

"Okay, okay. Jarvis, can you wipe that from the security tapes?" he grinned.

"Of course, sir," the AI replied in a disapproving tone of voice.

This elicited another fit of giggles. "So..." Tony said as soon as he could breathe. "Natasha's hot."

Loki tried hard to stop laughing, tears streaming down her face. "I think... I think I should go home before we get any stupider," she wiped at her eyes. "Is that even a word?"

"Who cares? Lemme get you a car." Tony tapped a command into a nearby screen.

"Thanks," Loki stood, catching herself on the edge of the couch as her balance wavered. "I think I shall need it." She walked unsteadily to the elevator. "And thank you for this," she gestured to the couch. "I needed it."

"Any time," Tony waved as the doors closed. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Aw, man," he said to no one in particular. "Pepper's gonna kill me."

* * *

"I'm home," Loki called as she pushed open the door.

Thor was sitting on the couch, thankfully alone. "Ah, good. I was beginning to worry. How was your evening?"

Loki just giggled, and tripped over her feet before falling into the couch.

He frowned. "Are you intoxicated?"

"Yes," she said with conviction, looking at him upside down.

"Why?"

"Because I drank a _lot _of alcohol," she joked. When Thor merely continued to frown, she sighed and sat up. "I'm just frustrated, Thor. Nobody likes me, apparently because of things I don't remember doing. I mean really, why don't I remember that?"

"What is it you cannot recall?" he asked.

"A man named Phil," she said quietly, "and what became of him."

A pained look stole over Thor's face, and they were quiet a moment. "I remember," he said.

She looked to him.

"I was there. You..." he passed a hand over his face, "you _enjoyed _it."

An expression of horror slowly bloomed on her face. She stood, and quickly ran to the bathroom where she was very sick.

Thor sighed heavily and got up to follow her. He found her, leaning her head against the edge of the toilet and moaning. "Were you not warned that this would happen?"

"Oh, shut up," she said without any ire.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub beside her. She gripped the toilet as another wave of nausea washed over her. Thor reached forward and caught up her hair, holding it back as she was sick again.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she could speak again.

Thor smiled cheerfully. "Darcy informed me that this is one way that Midgardians show affection for each other."

Loki gave him a wretched, sarcastic look.

He sighed. "I do care for you, Loki. You're my-my sister." He pushed a few strands of hair out of her face. "Must we always have this awkwardness between us?"

Loki sighed. "I'm trying, Thor, I really am."

When it became clear that there was nothing left in her stomach, Thor got her a wet washcloth. She cleaned her face and then stumbled, with his help, to her bed. For once she did not wish him to join her.

"Goodnight, sister. I do not envy you the headache you will have ere the morn."

She did not respond, she was already asleep.

* * *

_**A/N: **__This chapter is actually what spawned this entire story. I had a dream where I was femme Loki, and crushing on Thor, and Tony walked in on me making out with a Thor illusion. I woke up, spent several days thinking "WTF? Seriously?" before realizing, you know what…. I could make that work. lol_

_I promise you, that is the very worst of the ThorxLokiness. From here on out, it gets much better. Also, there will be no more TonyxLoki, because that was just silly and I think Tony and Pepper are the cutest thing ever._

_Thanks to NaNoWriMo, I now have a twelve chapter buffer, so I have decided to continue the two chapter a week posts, at least until Dude Loki shows up again-which happens very soon! But first there will be some fun with Femme Loki and Natasha. ^.~_


	18. The Show Must Go On

_Honestly, at this point, if Marvel is reading, I'm pretty cool with it. Don't own, don't sue._

* * *

**Chapter 18: The Show Must Go On**

The next morning, Loki learned the meaning of Thor's words. She had thought there was no mortal experience worse than tossing up one's accounts. She was wrong. Her head felt as if it were full of sharp rocks, her mouth was dry and sticky, and her body was as stiff and sore as if she had just fought a battle. At some point in the night her illusion had failed and she was now naked.

She tried to summon her magic, but found it hard to concentrate. With much effort, she managed to conjure up a simple knee-length cotton shift in a faded green. She would make something better for situations such as this once she felt better. She ambled out into the kitchen and stood staring blankly into the refrigerator for a few minutes.

"Good morning, Loki!" Thor's voice pounded into her skull.

She greeted him with a bleary-eyed sarcastic stare.

"Ah," Thor said more quietly. "I see you are suffering the effects of last night's excesses."

Loki went back to staring at the fridge, and finally decided on a bowl of cold cereal. It would take the least work. She grabbed the milk and then went about gathering the other necessary items. She sighed heavily as she sat down at the table.

"Does something else trouble you?" Thor asked as he prepared a pot of coffee for himself.

"I don't think I'll be able to work today," she said. She stared hard at her spoon. It lifted, wobbling, a few inches off the table, and then clattered back down.

Thor looked concerned. He remembered times when they were younger, when Loki would show off by eating an entire bowl of soup without using his hands. "I believe there is a provision for illness in human culture. It is called a 'sick day.' One 'calls in sick' and is given a day of rest to recuperate."

"Great," she said with little enthusiasm. If only she hadn't vanished her cellphone for safekeeping. She tried to recall it, and succeeded only in making a small popping noise. She resolved to try again once she had eaten.

After breakfast, she sat on the couch in a meditative pose. She breathed deeply, and concentrated. She reached, carefully and patiently, into the half-dimension where she kept such things, and located the cell phone. Quickly, she pulled before her reserves gave out. She smiled at the cell phone in her hand, although there was a sheen of sweat on her forehead and her headache had returned with a vengeance. She located Tony's number in the programmed phone book, and made the call.

"Hello?" it was Pepper who answered.

"Hi Pepper, it's Loki. I'm not feeling well and it's messing with my magic. Can you tell Tony I won't be coming in today?"

"Uh-huh," Pepper said suspiciously. "Tony's a bit under the weather himself, so I guess that Italian marble will just have to wait until Monday."

_Shit,_ Loki thought. _Is it Friday already?_

"Listen," Pepper said suddenly, "Did anything happen last night that I should be... concerned about?"

_Oh great._ She thought about it a moment.

"Loki?" Pepper pressed.

"Hang on, I'm trying to remember. It's a bit fuzzy." She and Tony had kissed, that much she remembered just fine. But then they had laughed it off, it wasn't like anything serious had happened, or that anything would come of it. "Nope," she said at last.

"Are you sure? Because Tony has been acting weird."

"Weird how?"

"He's being _nice _to me."

"And that's weird?" Loki joked.

"It is when he has a hangover," Pepper laughed a little.

"Look, I can't lie, remember? We got drunk, laughed about stuff, and then I went home." It was a truthful account, if not a complete one.

Pepper sighed, relieved. "Alright. Well I hope you feel better soon," she said politely and then hung up.

Loki groaned and flopped over on the couch. That had been _exhausting_.

* * *

Loki had spent much of the rest of the day on the couch recuperating. The small version of Jarvis in her laptop had informed her that dehydration was the main cause of her problem, so she did her best to down as much water as possible. She went to bed early, before Thor had even come home, and awoke the next morning feeling greatly refreshed.

This was good news because this morning was the 'dress rehearsal' for her mission with Natasha later that night. She used her replenished magic to cast an illusion of the same no-nonsense outfit she had worn to the meeting with Fury. She stepped out of her room to get breakfast, and nearly ran straight into Thor.

"Um, hi." She tried not to giggle like a silly girl, but he didn't have a shirt on and that was seriously impairing her thought processes.

"Good morning, Loki. I see you are feeling better, that is good. I was wondering if you had any plans for today." He took a closer look at her clothes. "I assume so?"

It was then she noticed the cellphone he held, one hand politely covering it to keep their conversation private. She could guess who was on the other end.

"Yes, I'll be busy all day today," she said stiffly. "In fact, don't wait up for me, I won't be back until very late."

Thor frowned. "What will you be doing?"

She bristled. She didn't have to _report_ to him. "Stuff with Natasha," she said shortly, and nearly ran for the door before his shirtlessness made her compromise the mission further. Once she had the front door between them, she took a moment to catch her breath.

Natasha stood in the hallway, giving her a strange look. "What's got you all worked up?"

Loki pointed over her shoulder with her thumb.

Curious, Natasha went to the door, carefully cracked it open, and looked through. There stood Thor, shirtless in a pair of low-slung black jeans, talking on the phone with a look of pure joy on his face. She closed the door. "Whoa. Even if he were _my _brother I would see your point."

Loki just sighed.

"Let's get to work," Natasha suggested, knowing that nothing got her mind off things like throwing herself into a mission.

She nodded. Natasha led her back to her own apartment, and locked them inside. On the kitchen table was an array of equipment: guns, knives, a few bits of tech, as well as a green blouse and black miniskirt. Black stiletto boots sat on one of the chairs

"This is what I'll be wearing," she gestured towards the table.

"All of it?" Loki asked incredulously.

Natasha laughed a little. "Yes, all of it. Except this," she picked up a small square chip. "This is for you."

Loki took it from her, it was very thin. "What is it?"

"A tracker," she said bluntly, "in case the mission goes to shit and we have to get rescued."

_Or I run away, _Loki thought despondently.

Natasha seemed to sense her reservations. "I've got one too," she explained, and showed her a small scar on her inner left forearm.

Loki paled. "Does this go in my arm?"

Natasha shrugged. "Mine's there in case I need to dig it out with a knife," she said matter-of-factly. "We figured you could probably magic it wherever you liked."

_So they do trust me a little, _she thought. "I have a better idea," she held up her ruby pendant. "This cannot be damaged or removed from my person, do you have anything that would adhere it to the back permanently?"

Natasha's eyebrows shot up. "Yes, actually." She went to one of the kitchen drawers, and pulled out an epoxy kit. She took out the various tubes of chemicals, and took the chip back from her. "You sure you want to do this? SHIELD will know your whereabouts 24/7."

Loki shrugged with a confidence she did not feel. "Why should I worry? I haven't got anything to hide from them."

Natasha watched her a moment, then shrugged. She wouldn't have agreed to her own tracker if she hadn't been able to remove it, but she supposed Loki had more to prove. She smeared the various elements on the back of the chip, mixing them together with a toothpick. When they started to set, she picked up the chip and held out her hand for the ruby.

Loki quickly changed the necklace to be much longer, and dropped it in her open palm. It felt strange to have someone else holding the account of all her sins. Natasha flipped it over and placed the chip deftly in the center.

"Here, hold that on. It will take a few minutes to set completely." She handed the necklace back to Loki, but continued to stare at it.

"What?" She asked in response to Natasha's frown.

"If you're going to be wearing that, I'll need to have one too. We're supposed to match as closely as possible." She looked thoughtful.

"I can change everything except the gem itself," Loki offered. "What would look best?"

"Something long like that," she offered. "But with a fancy chain, and a wrapped wire setting."

Loki changed the necklace to match Natasha's description, hiding the tracking chip in the process. "Like this?"

Natasha nodded. "Can you make me a replica?"

She smiled. "Of course," she held up her free hand, concentrated, and an exact duplicate materialized above it. She handed it to Natasha, who did a double take when she took it.

"Loki, is this a real star ruby?" she asked.

"Well, yeah," she answered, confused. Hadn't she asked for a replica?

Natasha said something softly in Russian. "This must be worth... several million dollars."

"Oh." Loki thought about that a moment. "Is the place we're going well-lit? Will anyone believe it's real?"

Natasha let out a breath. "No, you're right. It's fine."

Loki looked at the clothes laid out on the table. "I think, to be safe, I should replicate the clothes as well." she picked up the skirt. It was very short, she wasn't sure how comfortable she'd be in it.

"Ok," Natasha was checking over one of the guns.

After she duplicated the shirt, skirt, and boots, Loki glanced toward the bathroom. "I'll need to see you in it to get the details right."

"Sure. You can change in the bathroom." She didn't even look up from what she was doing.

Loki closed the bathroom door and sighed. Natasha could be more than a little intimidating when she was in full-on Black Widow mode. When she put the clothes on, she was a little surprised to discover how small the assassin really was-they didn't fit her at all. She had to use more magic to make them all bigger except, depressingly, through the bust. That had to be sized down. Suddenly Loki felt gawky and boyish next to the curvy little agent.

Then she caught sight of herself in the mirror. The blouse was her very favorite color, a vibrant emerald, which matched her eyes perfectly. Her long black hair fell about her like a midnight waterfall, almost to the hem of her skirt, which looked obscenely short on her long, long legs. She was, what was the line? _A tall drink of water_. She smiled and walked out of the bathroom, her confidence restored.

And she needed it. Natasha had changed, and the outfit had an altogether different effect on her. The shirt seemed a garish echo to her pale green eyes, and made her red hair seem like a burst of flame. The tiny black skirt hugged her wide hips, and threatened to reveal much if she were to bend over...

"Does this really need to be this short?" Loki pulled on the skirt, trying to make it longer without magic.

Natasha laughed, and for once it sounded genuine. "Yes, it does. We're trying to attract attention, remember?"

Loki sighed and set to studying Natasha's appearance. She circled her once, then came to face her. There was a slight glowing, and then Natasha was staring at herself.

"Hmm..." she studied Loki's work, mimicking her examination. "Part the hair on the other side, so we're mirrored," she suggested. After Loki complied, Natasha sighed.

"What?" Loki looked at herself, looking for a flaw.

"It's just... weird, to look at myself like this," she admitted.

"Is this better?" Loki let the illusion of Natasha's face fall, but only to her. Now she resembled her own self again. Natasha frowned. "Look," Loki pointed to the mirror above the sink. There, in the glass, stood two Natashas. "I only look this way to you," she explained.

Natasha nodded. "That should work, then." On the table, her phone chimed. She went over to check it. "Well, change into something comfortable," she advised. "We have a plane to catch. Unless, of course, you can just teleport us there." She began to pack up her equipment.

Loki laughed, letting the illusion fall completely. "That would be nice, but no, I can't 'teleport' as you call it."

Natasha frowned. "That's not what the security tapes say."

"Oh that," Loki waved a hand dismissively. "Just a parlor trick. I cast a double illusion, the image of myself and to make my real self invisible. Then I move where I like, and..." Loki disappeared, "dismiss them both," she said from behind Natasha.

To her credit, Natasha turned slowly, without seeming surprised.

"If I could teleport, why would I have stayed in that horrible cage?" Loki frowned.

Natasha shuddered. She did not like to think about how differently their little... conversation would have ended. "Because getting caught was all part of your master plan?"

Loki smiled. "Ok, so it was, but that doesn't mean I enjoyed the accommodations."

By this time Natasha had all of her equipment packed. She ducked into her bedroom to change into her traveling clothes, and Loki cast an illusion of similar ones, vanishing the outfit for later.

"Let's go," Natasha said seriously, and Loki nodded.


	19. Just Dance

_I don't own Loki or Natasha, but boy am I having fun with them ^w^_

* * *

**Chapter 19: Just Dance**

The flight to London was much shorter than Loki expected, only four hours in one of SHIELD's Quinjets, but when they arrived it was already evening because of the time difference. They took a 'cab,' actually an undercover car provided by MI6, to a hotel where they would make their final preparations. Loki and Natasha dressed in their matching outfits, and Loki watched in fascination as the assassin hid a veritable armory in her scant clothing. Loki cast the illusion, becoming her mirror image to all but Natasha's eyes.

Once they were ready, Natasha called a real town car to take them to the nightclub where their target had been spotted by carefully placed informants. As they rode through the twisting streets of London, Loki began to feel anxious.

"First time jitters?" Natasha asked quietly.

Loki laughed. "I hope I'm not _that _transparent."

She shook her head. "Just to me."

Loki wondered if she had said that for the sake of the eavesdropping driver, to preserve the twins cover, or if she really meant it. It didn't really make her feel better.

Natasha smiled. "Don't worry about it, ok? Just try to have a good time. I'll take care of the rest."

"Ok," Loki smiled a little. Playing the shy twin seemed to be coming naturally.

They got out of the car, and walked toward the club. A low, quiet thrumming made the air seem to pulse around them. "What's that sound?" Loki asked, frowning.

"That," Natasha smiled, "is music."

Loki looked doubtful. She followed Natasha past a line of waiting people to the VIP entrance, where she flashed a smile-as well as a furtive hand signal-at the bouncer. He smiled back, ostensibly taken with the pretty twins, and let them in. As the inner doors opened, all of Loki's senses were assaulted by what was inside. The music, quiet outside, was now so loud it seemed to pass through her body, her lungs resonating with the beat of it. It was hot, almost swelteringly so, and the smell of a thousand perfumes mixed with the smells of sweat and cigarette smoke nearly made her eyes water.

"You get used to it," Natasha shouted over the music.

Again, Loki found this hard to believe, but she shrugged as the two of them made their way to the bar. Natasha ordered them drinks, handing a brown longneck bottle to her. She didn't think drinking was a great idea so soon after her little party with Tony, but she understood it was important to keep up appearances. She took a swig, and nearly spat it out in surprise. It wasn't beer, just cold apple juice.

Natasha giggled as Loki double checked the label. "Come on," she took her arm and pulled her through the crowd. They came to a stop at a balcony, and Loki gaped at the sight. On a level below them, hundreds of people were pressed together, jumping and writhing in time with the so-called music. It was such an astounding sight that she almost missed Natasha's hand signal.

_Across and to the left_, she indicated. Loki continued to gaze wide-eyed at the spectacle, only now she was ogling the patrons on a level with them, in private booths.

She panned to the left, looking for the man that SHIELD wanted them to investigate. There, in the third booth from the corner. Loki signaled that she had seen him.  
They stood there awhile, watching the comings and goings of the patrons, particularly the guards and guests of their target. It was becoming clear that they wouldn't be able to approach him without an invitation. Loki drank her 'beer,' and began to relax as she became accustomed to the environment. The smells died away, the heat seemed less bothersome, but the music still irritated her. Then the song changed, and this one was much more tolerable, enjoyable even. Loki felt it move through her, and felt her body start to move with it, swaying from side to side.

"Finish your drink," Natasha shouted, downing the last of her own. "Let's go dance!"

Loki wasn't sure she was ready to enter the throng of humanity below her, but she quickly did as Natasha asked. Once again, Natasha took a firm grip in her wrist so they could stay together as they pushed through the crowd. There was a moment of respite as they came to a stairwell, which was mostly empty except for a few impassioned couples, and then they were diving into the sea of bodies. They found a pocket of space, and Loki tried to catch her breath.

_I don't know how to dance like this,_ she thought, watching a couple nearby. What they were doing was certainly a dance, but it was far more provocative than the stilted waltzes and playful jigs of Asgard. Suddenly, she wished Thor were there. _To dance like that with him_... she thought.

Natasha put her hands on Loki's shoulders, "Hey, we came here to forget about him, right?" She seemed to read her thoughts. "Dance with me, instead!" she began to move her hips in time with the music.

"With you?" Loki laughed.

Natasha grinned. "Yeah! Guys totally dig it, they think it's sexy."

"I don't know how!" Loki admitted.

She shook her head. "There isn't a 'how,' just move, do what your body wants to!" she began to demonstrate, looping her arms around Loki's neck and moving, twisting and bending to the rhythm.

Loki laughed a little, nervously, and then tried to do the same. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, trying to feel the beat that pulsed through the crowd. Just as she was beginning to get the hang of it, the song ended. Loki was disappointed, but then another song came on. This one had a better tempo, slower, with a good beat, and it caught Loki up with the rest of the crowd.

_Constantly, boy, you play through my mind like a symphony._  
_There's no way to describe what you do to me,_  
_You just do to me what you do, _  
_and it feels like I've been rescued, I've been set free, _  
_I am hypnotized by your destiny_  
_You are magical, lyrical, beautiful, you are,_  
_And I want you to know baby,_  
_I, I love you like a love song, baby,_  
_And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat._

The dancers pressed together, pushing Loki up against Natasha as they moved. The song was right, there was something of magic to this, being swept away in something transcendent, it was like battle, it was like...

_Oh Hel, _she thought as Natasha ground her hips against her, _let's be honest, this is like sex._ A sly grin stole over her face, and she began to reciprocate more suggestively.

Natasha glanced up and caught sight of Loki's expression, nearly doing a double-take. She hadn't seen _that _particular smile since the helicarrier. With it, Loki resembled her former self much more. It sent a shiver down her spine, reminding her exactly who it was she was dancing with. Strangely, it only heightened her already thrumming senses. She hoped they would catch the target's attention soon, because she was getting seriously turned on...

Loki nearly jumped as someone tapped her on the shoulder. She pulled away from Natasha quickly, guiltily.

"Hey, you gels twins?" the man was young and thin, with chin-length blond hair. He had to shout over the din of the music

"Yeah!" Natasha shouted back cheerfully, easily staying in-character.

"You wanna go to a private room?" he asked.

"Sure!" Natasha grinned, and Loki smiled and nodded as well. They followed him through the crowd.

When they reached the relative quiet of the stairwell, the young man threw a smile over his shoulder. "My mate's got a thing for twins," he admitted. "He wants to meet you."

Natasha giggled in response.

"We get that a lot," Loki joked.

The blond led them through security, into one of the private rooms. It was well-appointed, and the velvet drapes, carpet and upholstery went a long way towards softening the blare of the music. "Look what I found!" he announced.

"Well," a man in a gray suit with tanned skin and dark hair stood to greet them. "What have we here? Don't tell me you're twins?" he had a slight Colombian accent. He was, without a doubt, their target. He gestured to a low couch, and they sat, one on either side of him.

Natasha eagerly engaged him in a meaningless conversation. Loki struggled to follow along, distracted by the music and her surroundings. She kept a careful eye on the blond man, who came and went. _Body guard, _she thought.

After an hour or so, it became clear that he wasn't going to give up any info easily. Natasha had tried all the classic angles, to no avail.

"So what kind of work do you do?" she tried.

"Oh, imports," he said vaguely and changed the subject.

"You must be rich," she complimented him at one point, hoping he would elaborate on the source of his income, as many men loved to.

He nodded, "I'm afraid my old man has to take credit for most of that," he admitted.

Inwardly, Loki frowned. This was a lie. She knew the taste of them well. She worried that he was starting to catch on to them, and signaled as much to Natasha.

She signaled back that she agreed, and that they should move to plan B.

"Your sister is so very shy," he said suddenly, turning his attention to Loki.

"Yeah, Lucy doesn't say much," Natasha admitted, and gave him a suggestive smirk, "But they say actions speak louder than words."

He looked interested, raising his eyebrows. "Ah, a woman of action then?"

Loki blushed and bit her lip, trying to look coy. "I'm not used to all this noise," she admitted. "I don't go to the clubs with Natalie very often."

"Well, then," he smiled slyly. "Why don't we go somewhere quieter?"

She smiled, and didn't have to fake the eagerness behind it. He was falling right into their plans. "Ok," she agreed.

They got up, and he found his body guard. They made their way to the stairwell, and he unlocked the door to another flight going up. The guard remained at the door as they made their way up.

"Wow," Natasha said appreciatively as they came into a stately living room. It was nicely furnished, with a couch, a full bar, and rather suspiciously, a bed.

"You like?" he asked, and began to kiss Natasha. Loki took this opportunity to pull the man's jacket off, and when his hands were behind his back, she slipped a pair of handcuffs around his wrists deftly.

He chuckled. "Oh, so you girls like it kinky?" he turned to face Loki, smiling.

Natasha placed the barrel of her gun against his temple. "You could put it that way," she said seriously.

The man was surprised for a moment, then angry. He fumed as Loki pulled out a chair from the bar, Natasha pushing her gun against his head to make him sit. She waited patiently as Loki summoned some rope and tied his feet to the legs of the chair.

"Now," Natasha said with a smile, "How about we discuss your _imports_,"

He cursed. "I won't tell you anything, you little bitch. You won't kill me, I know too much."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're right. I can't kill you." She lowered the gun until it pointed to his crotch. "But that which doesn't kill you..."

He rolled his eyes, not buying the bluff.

She fired the gun, and Loki jumped as he screamed. She hadn't expected Natasha to follow through. The screaming stopped quickly, though, as the man realized she had shot the chair just between his legs. She had timed it well with the dull beat of the music from downstairs, no one would have heard it.

"Next time, I won't miss," she said in her deadliest voice.

"Okay, okay," he said desperately. He then poured out all the information he could think of. When he was done, Natasha hit him across the forehead with her gun, knocking him out.

Loki let out a breath, cursing softly.

Natasha looked to her. "You okay?"

Loki laughed. "Yeah. I just... you're good."

She smiled. "I know. But we need to get this cleaned up."

"I can do that," Loki offered. She used her magic to mend the hole in the chair and the floor, and located the shell before vanishing it. "I can make him remember differently," she offered as she got rid of the ropes and handcuffs.

It was Natasha's turn to look impressed. "That would be excellent." She took the recorder out of her cleavage, checking to make sure that it had caught all the information she had gathered.

Loki lifted the man's head, noticing a bruise forming on his temple. "Hm... I can't fix that..."

Natasha looked up, sighing. "Can you work it into the memory?"

Loki nodded, and focused, putting her fingertip on the middle of his forehead. She created a new story, one where he had, in his eagerness, tripped and hit his head on the bar. Angry to be embarrassed in front of them, he had yelled at them to leave, and then collapsed on the couch. finished, she stood up and levitated his unconscious body over to the couch, leaving him face down.

She looked to Natasha, who nodded in approval. "Let's go." She stowed her recorder, and they headed down the stairs. The guard was surprised to see them again so soon.

"Um," Loki said, looking embarrassed. "He kinda fell, and hit his head. He was really pissed. We'll just go," she said, looking awkward as hell.

He made to go up, but Natasha stopped him. "He was _really _pissed. I wouldn't."

He looked between the two of them, and then nervously up the stairs. His boss had a hell of a temper. He nodded, and stayed where he was.

They made their way out of the club, and Loki was relieved to breathe the cool night air again. Natasha hailed a cab, and told the driver to go straight to the airport.

As she sat back, Loki sighed. She was exhausted. "How'd I do?" she asked.

Natasha smiled genuinely. "You did great." She caught Loki's hand and squeezed it.

Loki turned away, blushing. "Thanks," she mumbled. She rested her head against the window and quickly dozed off.

* * *

_**A/N**__: Say what you like about Selina Gomez, she's not everyone's cup of tea and honestly not my favorite artist either. But I absolutely love the sound of "Love You Like A Love Song." There's a good thrumming off-beat to it that's perfect for dancing. I suppose I should add an extra disclaimer here that I don't own her lyrics, either._

_Soooo… a little fun stuff with Loki and Natasha, but just a little. Next week's chapter will be the one we've all been waiting for: "Guess Who's Back In Town?" I'm so excited! Also, I love to hear from you guys, any kind of comment is appreciated, even if it's demanding more updates lol._


	20. Guess Who's Back In Town?

_Sadly, I do not work for Marvel. Maybe someday though?_

* * *

**Chapter 20: Guess Who's Back In Town**

Loki sighed heavily as she pushed open the front door to her apartment. She had caught a little sleep in the cab, but had not gotten any more in the uncomfortable Quinjet. It had taken them six hours to make their way back across the Atlantic, against the wind. It was now 5:30 in the morning in England. Here, in New York, it was only half past midnight, but it felt much later than that. Changing people's memories always took it out of her. She had meant to go straight to her bed, but was halted by the sight of Thor sitting at the kitchen table, clearly waiting for her, just as she had told him not to.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it a moment.

"Where have you been?" Thor asked quietly. It was that same damnable quiet voice that Odin used when he was disappointed.

For a moment, she was tempted to say something flippant like 'out' or 'with Natasha,' but the look on his face convinced her not to. Thor was very rarely this serious. "London," she admitted.

"England?" his eyebrows lifted.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. I am impressed with your knowledge of Midgardian geography."

He would not be deterred. "What were you doing? Why are you dressed like that?"

She glanced down. She hadn't bothered to change her outfit, although she had dropped the illusion that made her look like Natasha. "Dancing. At a club." She smiled a little. "You should have been there."

Thor frowned. "I highly doubt that SHIELD would send one of its agents, in one of it's jets, with you, all the way across the ocean to _dance._"

"Oh, so you've been talking to someone. Fury? Then why do you need to interrogate me?" She fumed.

Thor sighed. "I was hoping you would be honest with me."

Loki stared at him, livid. "You mean you hoped to trap me into a lie?"

Now Thor looked confused. "No, of course not, I just-"

"I don't want to hear it," Loki interrupted. She stormed into her room and slammed the door. As she fell down on the bed she fought off tears. Why did he have to treat her like a child? She gazed up at the ceiling, at the image of Thor smiling there. She growled in frustration and shoved a pillow over her eyes.

* * *

When she woke in the morning, Thor was not there. She shrugged it off, eating breakfast and then allowing the agent stationed outside the apartment to escort her to work.  
The Italian marble was waiting, and Tony was eager to get started on the work for Grand Central Station, claiming that the ruin of it was an 'eyesore on his doorstep.'  
Loki slid her hand over the milky white stone. It was beautiful. She could make something gorgeous from this, and for the first time she wished that she could use her talents for something other than the restoration project. She sighed, and then rolled up her sleeves, starting to work.

When she returned home in the evening, Thor was again waiting for her. She rolled her eyes. Was this going to become a routine? At least Jane wasn't there.

"Loki," Thor stood from the couch, coming toward her with his hands in a pacifying gesture. "I wish to speak with you, please."

She sighed and crossed her arms. "Ok, talk."

Thor looked disappointed. "I have spoken with Lady Romanov."

Loki frowned. "What did she tell you?" Would Natasha have betrayed her?

Thor chuckled. "Very little. She is fierce-I think Lady Sif would find her a difficult rival."

She smiled a little. "She is that."

Thor gestured for Loki to sit next to him on the couch. She did so, wrapping herself in her favorite blanket.

"What she did say was that you had offered to go on a mission on her," he began.

She nodded.

"Why?"

Loki shrugged. "For the parameters of the mission, I seemed to be the best solution. She's been very kind to me and I wanted to return the favor."

Thor studied her a moment. "I have noticed of late that you seem to avoid me whenever Jane is present. Lady Romanov speculated that this may have been why you wanted to go on the mission."

Loki began to protest, but thought about it. Of late she had grown more frustrated with her life here on Earth, and part of it was because of Jane. But that wasn't all of it. She sighed. "No, Thor. I..." she searched for the words to explain to him. "I just feel... out of place. Things have not worked as I had imagined them to."

He placed a comforting hand on hers. "There is more. Jane has been offered a job working for SHIELD."

Loki closed her eyes, defeated.

"She has not decided whether she shall accept. She seems to think that it would be an unkindness to you if she stayed here permanently." He spoke slowly, cautiously, as if she might lash out.

Now Loki felt awful. What kind of person was she, if she wanted to ruin Thor and Jane's happiness? And here Jane was willing to turn down a great opportunity to make Loki more comfortable. "No," she said softly. "She should accept. It is a good job, and she will be closer to you." The words felt like knives as she spoke them.

Thor's eyes seemed to light up, and he seemed oblivious to her pain. "Truly? You do not mind if she stays?"

Loki smiled weakly. Natasha's words haunted her. _If you really love someone, you should be happy as long as they are happy._She looked into Thor's eyes, and drew a deep breath. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy. No, I don't mind." She closed her eyes, feeling light-headed, as if she might faint...

Thor blinked rapidly. As he watched, Loki seemed to glow, and when the light dimmed, she had changed. _He _had changed, to be precise. For where his sister had sat a moment before, was now his brother, as he had been before the change.

Loki opened his eyes and blinked back. He looked around the room as if startled. "I-" he spoke, and then paused, as if surprised at the sound of his voice. His hand flew up to his throat, touching his Adam's apple. He looked down at himself, at his hand. Slowly, it clenched into a fist, and a fierce grin lit his features. "Yes," he whispered. "Finally, I am rid of that unbearable curse!"

Thor slowly stood, backing away carefully. "Loki," he said quietly.

Loki looked up to him, narrowing his eyes. "What?"

Thor swallowed. "Why are you... unclothed?"

Loki glanced down at himself, frowning. Underneath the blanket on his lap he was, indeed, naked. He waved his hand, but no clothes appeared. He frowned deeper, and reached for his magic. Nothing. He could not even feel the passive eddies of it that were always present. "NO!" he shouted. His anger rose, and suddenly the ruby around his neck flashed, and Loki was knocked back with the force of the pain. _If you lie,_ the voice of Morpheus floated up from his memory, _you will forget everything. _He cursed.

"Loki, what has happened?" Thor asked, sounding worried.

He scowled at his brother. "Save your concern, I am not the whimpering chit that has been ruining my life of late," he spat. "It would seem that I have been released from her control, at last, although I have lost my magic in the bargain." A thought occurred to him. He stared down at his hand, and grinned as his fingertips began to turn blue, spreading down his hand. "Well," he said, glancing up at Thor with eyes that were turning red. "It would seem that I have also regained by dubious heritage, as well as my memories."

Thor frowned. "Your memories?"

Loki allowed the blue to recede, returning to his familiar Aesir appearance. "Yes. All of them. I remember... everything. I am precisely the same person I was before all this nonsense." He smiled up at Thor, and behind his eyes was the cunning and anger that had been missing from his changed self.

Thor resisted the urge to summon Mjolnir. "I think it would be wise if I called SHIELD," he said.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Do as you like."

* * *

Natasha ran a hand through her hair and stared at the apartment door. Thor had explained the situation, and had left to see that Jane Foster was removed to a safe location. Loki seemed cooperative for the moment, but he wasn't taking any chances. So it was left to her to watch him in the meantime.

She wasn't sure this was a good idea. She was only human, and Thor had said that Loki's Jotun abilities had been returned to him. She was pretty sure super-strength was on that list somewhere. But at the same time, she could not resist her curiosity. She had learned much of Loki while he had been changed, and she had to know. How much of that personality had been the change? How much of the monster she had spoken to in the helicarrier remained?

She opened the door silently, and slipped into the apartment. She stayed close to the wall, glancing around the corner. Loki stood, hands clasped behind his back, staring out the window into the darkened courtyard. He wore only a pair of Thor's drawstring pants, which were somewhat too big and hung off his hips. He was not the muscular vision his brother was, but she rather preferred his lean, wiry figure, his skin pale in comparison to his dark black hair.

"Hello, Natasha," he drawled.

Too late Natasha caught sight of his reflection in the window, which looked straight at her.

She cursed, but came into full view. "Hello to you too, Hannibal."

Loki laughed and turned to face her. She wasn't sure, but he might be more intimidating shirtless than he was in full armor.

"Wait, do you know what I'm referencing?" She frowned.

"Of course. Hannibal Lector, _Silence of the Lambs_. Rogers did not like that one at all." He smiled a little at her confused expression, and took a few steps towards her. She moved as if she thought to step back, but held her ground. "Ah yes, Natasha. You see, I remember everything. All the fun things I did before, which _She _forgot. And all those delightful conversations we had."

Natasha paled, remembering the very personal things she had told Loki. Had she been fooled all along? No, she refused to believe that. Loki had been someone else, but now, he was... back. She closed down, raising her walls and falling easily into what she thought of as her 'professional' mindset. "I hear you lost your powers," she couldn't resist the urge to return fire.

His eyebrows shot up. "Alas, yes, I have lost my magic. Elsewise I would not be here," he gestured to the room. He took a few more steps toward her, until he was so close she could reach out and touch his bare chest. "They would put me back in a cage, and that would be such a shame," his voice was low and quiet. "I much prefer to converse _without _a wall of glass between us."

He let the reminder of their conversation on the helicarrier hang in the air between them. He lifted a hand, as if to touch her face, and she flinched back, out of his reach. He smiled, triumphant, but she caught a hint of sadness behind it.

"I'll be standing guard outside," she warned.

Loki looked amused. "I shall sleep better for it, then."

Natasha swallowed and left before she said anything stupid. She closed the door, but she could hear the sound of Loki's laughter through it.

Loki shook his head and sighed, staring at the closed door. She was too smart, too clever by far to trust him, even though she had trusted _Her_. It made him angry, although he could not say why. Although he was not particularly tired, he chose to retire. He slept, and dreamed his favorite dream, the one where she screamed his name and begged while the blood trickled down her soft, white skin.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Dun dun dun! The plot thickens! And with the return of Dude Loki also comes the return of only one chapter a week. Don't worry, I'll make up for it next week with a really long chapter: Old Wounds and New Scars._

_I hope you're all as excited to have Dude Loki back as I am… as much as I love Femme Loki (since she's my own creation) there's nothing like the original, twisted Loki. ^.^_


	21. Old Wounds and New Scars

_Insert witty disclaimer here. Many thanks to my sister, Amy, who is my psychology Beta._

* * *

**Chapter 21: Old Wounds and New Scars**

The next day, Loki awoke to find that clothes had been delivered in his size, black slacks and a grey button-down shirt. He was informed by none other than Captain America that he would be going to see Dr. Bryardie. A full contingent of six guards in riot gear were assembled to escort him to Stark Tower. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of them.

"Well, I appreciate the flattery, but I assure you this will not be necessary," he laughed.

Steve shrugged. "Makes them feel more comfortable," he argued.

Loki sighed and shook his head. He had brought this on himself, he supposed. The ride was awkward and quiet.

"I think this is the first time you have served as my guard," Loki realized aloud.

The captain nodded. "It's been decided that for outings only me, Bruce, or Tony-in the suit-would be appropriate. Tony is a little too flamboyant and Dr. Banner tends to make a mess of things, so that leaves me if we mean to be quiet."

_Only those who could best me in combat_, Loki realized. SHIELD was taking this _very _seriously. He approved. He had thought them incredibly foolish for the freedoms they had allowed his changed self. He leaned back in the seat of the town car.

Once they arrived, the guard was reduced to Steve and two of the riot police. He was taken to Dr. Bryardie's office by a circuitous route, away from any busy areas. This time when they knocked on her door she answered it herself, almost immediately.

She stared at Loki a moment, as if she were surprised that he had actually come. He gave her his best intimidating smile. To his surprise, a small smile came to her face as well.

"Come in," she opened the door wider and stood aside. When Steve made to follow, she placed a hand on his arm, stopping him gently. "This must be private," she said kindly.

Steve frowned. "I have very specific orders, Ma'am. I'm to stick to him like glue."

She smiled sadly. "Would you like someone to sit in on your sessions? Would you be able to speak of the important things with someone else listening in?"

Steve blushed a little, and mumbled an apology before leaving, closing the door.

Rowena sighed and came to sit on the couch.

"Rogers is also a client of yours?" Loki asked.

"All the Avengers are," she pointed out.

He tilted his head away from her a little. "Including Natasha?"

Rowena's mouth made a little mou of disappointment, almost a pout, for the tiniest of moments. "I'm not at liberty to discuss my other clients," she said instead. "We're here to discuss you."

Loki folded his arms and sat back, saying nothing.

"Tea?" Rowena gestured to the tea set.

"No thank you," Loki said, the polite words at odds with his bored voice.

She studied him a moment longer, allowing the silence to drag out until it became tense. It would have been a staring contest if Loki had met her eyes, which he did not.

"This is a matter of respect, isn't it?" she said suddenly.

"What?" Loki frowned.

"It's not just that you don't want to talk about yourself. You don't see why you should. You think me beneath you." Her voice was clinical, matter-of-fact.

"Well... yes," he admitted, smiling a little.

Rowena nodded, and got up, going to one of her bookshelves. She came back with a large board, which she placed on the coffee table. It was about 18 inches square, and had an intricate design painted on its face which described a many-pointed star, with a circle in the middle. The points of the star each contained a symbol within it.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked.

Loki sat forward, studying it. The symbols were not familiar to him, he would have used runes, but the basic formula was obvious. "It appears to be a summoning circle," he said lazily, feigning disinterest.

"Correct. I can summon here a spirit who is in the realm of the deceased. I cannot call those who are damned, or who have achieved their reward in the hereafter. In your terms, I cannot call those of Niflheim or Valhalla, only Hel."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Anyone within Hel?"

Rowena nodded. "I can also call the demons of Muspelheim and the elves of Svartalfheim, sometimes Alfheim, but they tend to be very unhappy about it, so let's stick to Hel. Choose a person, you need not tell me the name."

Loki smiled. "Alright, I know who I wish you to call."

Her eyes narrowed a moment. She had thought he would take some time to choose. "Call to mind everything you can remember about this person, not just their name, but everything that made them who they were."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He supposed that recalling an essence was difficult for most humans, unaccustomed to magic, but for him it _was _as simple as recalling her name. Instead, he nodded.

She placed her hand in the middle of the summoning circle. "When you are ready, place your hand on mine."

Loki hesitated a moment. Was this girl really that foolish? She had no idea who he meant to call, and he honestly doubted she would be able to. But even if she did, she must have no idea of the consequences. However, he was very curious to see what she could do, so he did as she asked.

Rowena concentrated a moment, her eyes glazing over. Then she began to lift her hand off the board, pulling Loki's up with it. The lines of the summoning circle began to glow, and the circle at the middle became a void. The light in the room seemed to dim, and a tiny speck of light appeared in the void. It grew, becoming a small figure, which then expanded to the full height, Loki and Rowena pulling back.

"Who dares summon the Queen of Hel?" The irate figure demanded, voice booming.

Rowena's face drained of color, and Loki saw a faint flash of violet around her. She had shielded herself well. "Please forgive me, Queen," she bowed low in her seat. "I knew not who I was summoning, I meant no offense." She kept her head low, and glared at Loki.

Loki smiled. "Now, is that any way to greet your own father?" he chided Hela playfully. He hid the fact that he was genuinely surprised that the girl had succeeded.

Hela turned her icy gaze upon Loki. "What foolish prank is this?" Her voice held more respect.

He shrugged. "My mortal friend here wished to demonstrate her ability with magic. She does not lie, she knew not who I would call. She is accustomed to working with your charges."

Hela gave Rowena a sidelong glance. She remained prostrate, and this seemed to please her.

"Tell me, could you break this circle?" Loki gestured to the board that Hela now stood upon.

She poked at it with her booted toe. The lines flared brighter, and wavered a little. "Yes. But it would take considerable energy which I do not want to waste."

Loki nodded, impressed. "Thank you. You may go, if you like," he waved a hand at her. "Unless there is something holding you?" He looked to Rowena.

"No," Hela said, "And to be truthful I need not have come, it was an open-ended summoning. I merely wished to see who was impudent enough to request my presence. I suppose I should not be surprised to find it was you, father," she said with an air of distaste. Then she vanished, the room suddenly returning to its normal cheery air.

Loki and Rowena regarded each other for a moment, Rowena looking angry and Loki amused.

"That was a dirty trick," Rowena said at last.

Loki shrugged. "What did you expect? I am impressed though," he said more seriously. "I had not thought you would even be able to call her. But I knew if she came she would listen to me. She is a good daughter."

She made a disgusted sound, and stood, returning the board to it's place on the shelf. Loki frowned as he watched her. Summoning Hela should have nearly drained her, yet her movements seemed energetic.

"Do you summon often?" he asked, curious.

"I used to," Rowena said, sitting again. "I would call up the spirits of people's relatives, so they could communicate with each other. It's easy for me, and I enjoyed helping people."

Loki regarded her with a new-found respect. Rowena seemed to think her abilities unremarkable, but her ease with summoning was a true gift. Not even he could do it so easily, if he had his magic. Her demonstration was quite successful.

"Alright, you've made your point. What is it you wish to know about me?" he said grudgingly.

She smiled. "A lot of things. But first, I want to understand this latest change of yours."

He turned his hands up. "It is merely the undoing of the first," he offered.

"Except now you do not have your magic?" She asked.

He nodded.

"Then why do you still wear the ruby?" she gestured to the necklace.

He frowned. "I suppose it is what restricts my magic," he guessed.

She thought a moment. "And what triggered the change?"

"I lied," he said automatically. "She thought She was incapable of lying, but in truth She was not _supposed _to lie."

"She?" Rowena had noticed the strange emphasis he had put on the word.

Loki made a distasteful face. "The ridiculous girl who had control of me until yesterday."

Rowena tilted her head. "It wasn't you in control?"

He shook his head. "I was trapped, watching everything happen before me, with no control of what She said or did."

Rowena smiled a little ironically.

He sighed, thinking about what he had just said. "I suppose that is a fitting punishment for possessing others," he agreed sullenly.

She seemed to think of something. "Let's talk about what happened before. She couldn't tell me much, she didn't remember most of it. Do you?"

He gave her a wicked grin. "Oh, yes. I remember all the fun things which she does not."

Rowena was not intimidated in the least. "Oh, good. Are the only things She cannot remember those which you enjoyed?"

Loki frowned, surprised. "No," he admitted at length.

"What else?"

He stared out the window. "How much of this story do you know?"

"As much as Thor could tell me, but I would like to know your side."

"Where should I start?" Loki sighed.

"The coronation. Why bring the Jotunn?" She asked.

He ran his hands over his face. "It was a prank. A foolish prank. I was jealous, and wanted to spoil his day. I never imagined that Odin would banish him. I knew the time of the Odinsleep was coming soon, but had not realized it would be so soon. When I was handed Gungnir..." He paused, and she could see on his face the echo of his shock. "It was not my intention to become king," he looked to her, his eyes begging her to believe him.

She smiled kindly. "You didn't want to rule?"

He laughed. "More that the idea had never occurred to me. All our lives, Odin had told us that we both had a chance at the throne, but I had long known it was Thor who would succeed him. He was his favorite." His voice turned bitter as he spoke.

"What about your mother? Didn't she teach you magic?"

Loki's face softened. "I suppose I was probably Frigga's favorite. Or maybe she just felt sorry for me."

Rowena chose not to comment on that. "So, you became king."

"Yes. Once I had realized what I could accomplish with this power, I set a new plan in motion. I would destroy the Jotunn, and when Odin awoke he would see me as the better successor, that I was truly his son." He spoke with much conviction.

There was a long pause as Rowena allowed his words to sink in. "Why destroy the Jotunn?"

Loki scoffed. "They were a thorn in the side of Asgard, always threatening war, and we would have peace with them gone."

Rowena remained serious. "Why else?"

Loki stared at her, confused for a moment. Then he realized what she was really asking: 'why destroy your own people?' He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. "You will tell no one of this?" he asked softly.

"I am sworn to secrecy. The law protects what I know, and I take this vow very seriously," she assured him.

"But you report to SHIELD," he argued.

She nodded. "I give them an overall analysis, advise them as to the mental state of my clients. I do not divulge details. There are a few times when I have to report: abuse, if you're at risk for harming yourself, and if I am bound by subpoena to do so."

He tilted his head to the side. "That seems fair." He sighed. "I thought to erase my history. If Jotunn were no longer a threat, than perhaps I would not be a threat either." He ran a hand over his face.

She nodded. "But it didn't work that way did it?"

Loki shook his head. "I just made myself more of a threat. Still, I thought Odin would understand…"

"He didn't?"

Loki stared off into space for a few moments. There was a bleakness in his eyes, a deep pain. "No," he whispered.

Rowena folded her hands in her lap. "How did that make you feel?" Somehow, she managed to make the question sounded genuine, a world of curiosity behind her words.

He seemed at a loss for words. He remembered the look that Odin had given him, the soft "no, Loki." It had felt as if the last string tethering him to everything he cared for had snapped. He felt something within him break, and he let go. He looked up at Dr. Bryardie. How could he possibly tell her these things?

Rowena seemed to sense his hesitation. "Let's start at a later point and work our way back to that."

He let out breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. "All right, where shall we start?"

She shifted in her seat, crossing her legs. "How about when you arrived through the tesseract? I have a pretty good idea of what happened after that. Before…" she shrugged, turning her palms up.

Loki raised his eyebrows. "It's not a pretty story."

"Good. The nasty things are always more important." She was serious.

He sat back, running his hands over his legs. "Well, just previous to that I was halfway across the galaxy, preparing myself for I knew not what. The Other had warned me that traveling through the tesseract would be… strenuous. It was a bit of an understatement."

She smiled a little. "Tell me about the Other."

He shuddered, remembering, but hid it from her. "The Other is the mouthpiece for the entity who gave me the spear, who showed me the way."

"And who was that?" she asked.

Loki shook his head. "I never saw him. Anything he wished to communicate to me was relayed through the Other."

She raised an eyebrow. "And you were okay with that?"

He scowled. "Of course not. I had little choice in the matter."

Rowena tried to hide her surprise. "Why?"

Inwardly, he cursed himself for having revealed that. "I had already placed myself securely within their debt. When I had arrived in that place, there was little left to put back together. I know you humans believe that the denizens of Asgard are immortal, but that is not exactly true. We cannot fall prey to sickness, and age brings us strength and temperance. But we can be killed. What glory in battle is there, if nothing is risked?"

She nodded, following along.

"My fall through the rift left me battered, my body broken. My spirit was in little better shape. I was found by the Chitauri, and they took me to the Other. I was healed, much to my dismay, as my mind wandered far afield. When I woke, I learned that very little of my mind was private to me now. It seemed that the Other knew everything I knew, what had befallen me in Asgard, what I had seen here in Midgard: the tesseract. This information had caught the attention of the Other's master."

"So it was not your idea to come here, to try your hand at world domination?" she asked.

He laughed. "Hardly. Why would I want to rule a world rife with disease and poverty? What glory is there in leading a mass of pathetic mortals?" his voice became bitter, and he paused at her look. "Sorry," he muttered.

She waved it off. "What changed your mind?"

Loki gave her a weary look. "He kept blathering on about it, reminding me time and again of how Thor held this puny world dear, how it would irk him if I were to take away his new, shiny plaything. He said that Odin would never condone the destruction of a world, but to conquer one was a noble cause. That I could free these fools from their self-destructive ways. The more he whispered in my ear, the more it seemed to make sense. At first I agreed just to still his endless chattering, but with time I began to see things the way he spoke of them."

Rowena frowned. She studied him a moment, and then pulled a tablet from a drawer in the coffee table.

"What?" he leaned forward, trying to see the screen.

"I have a theory," she said as she flipped through several files. She found the one she was looking for and looked between the screen and Loki. "Have your eyes always been green?"

"Yes…" he gave her a bemused look. "Why?"

She looked back at the screen. "What would happen if someone were to try to possess you, as you possessed Barton and Selvig?"

He scoffed. "Impossible. Had I my magic, I could counter such a thing with very little effort."

She lifted her gaze, locking eyes with him. "What if you didn't know it was happening?"

When he frowned she handed him the tablet. He took it, and studied the image on the screen. It was a still from the security feed on the helicarrier cage, the moment when he had looked up at the camera and grinned. She had enlarged the section with his face, and his eyes were clearly visible. They were blue.

Slowly he set the tablet back on the coffee table. His hands clenched and unclenched on his knees. Then suddenly he stood, cursing under his breath. Rowena jumped, and then ducked her head. Loki began to pace behind the couch, running a hand through his hair and cursing fluently, his voice raising. He paused when he caught sight of Dr. Bryardie. She sat on the couch, perfectly still, her head down as she glanced at him through her eyelashes cautiously.

He tilted his head, curious. "That is the second time you have responded to a threat by showing deference."

She sat up slowly, shrugging. "I find that obsequious respect is always a good response to something with the ability to end you."

Loki shook his head. "No. It's not a very professional response, not in this situation. Which tells me it's automatic."

She smiled spreading her hands, "Old habits die hard."

He moved to stand before her, taking her chin in his hand. "Never lie to a liar, Rowena. No, it's something more than that, isn't it?" his smile turned sly, suggestive.

She swallowed, collecting her wits. "I'm flattered, really, but I'm afraid my profession has very specific rules about this sort of thing," she said sarcastically. When he did not relent, she sighed. "This is a boundary, Loki. You have to learn to respect those."

He left, releasing her. "Again, I am impressed."

Rowena smiled shakily. "That which yields is not always weak," she quoted.

He sat on the couch and picked up the tablet again. He looked to her, seeming much more vulnerable than he had a moment ago. "You will tell no one of this?"

She shook her head.

"Not even Her?"

She raised her eyebrows. "If you like. But there is something I must ask you, something I may have to report."

He set down the tablet and laced his fingers around his knee. "Ask away."

"There were a few things you said which concerned me. Your dismay at finding yourself healed, that you were broken in spirit as well as body. When Thor told me of how you fell from Asgard, he said that your hand slipped from the staff. I may not have your talent for lying, but I know enough to tell when someone is lying to themselves." She looked to him.

He looked down, and then back up. "You are asking if I chose to fall?" he stared off towards the window. After a long pause, he whispered "yes."

Dr. Bryardie let out a breath. "I thought so. Had you ever thought of killing yourself before that?"

Loki laughed. "Hel, no."

"And since then?"

He began to shake his head and then paused, frowning.

"I don't want to pry, but I need to know," she urged gently.

"When I failed… When I was brought to trial in Asgard, I believed that my punishment would be death. I… embraced this," he said solemnly.

She smiled sadly. "Accepting death is not quite the same as seeking it out. Do you wish to die now?"

"No."

She thought a moment. "Knowing now what the interface of Morpheus would do to you, all the trouble it would cause you, would you still choose this path instead of death?"

He smiled wryly. "Without hesitation."

She nodded. "I'm satisfied then. I don't think you're at risk of harming yourself." She took the tablet, turned it off, and put it back in its drawer. "So what will you do now?"

He shrugged. "Try to repair the damage She caused. I will not attempt an escape, I swear it."

"I believe you. Director Fury told me that you had mentioned how you thought your former allies would pursue you if you left our protection. That must be doubly true now that you no longer have the benefit of a disguise."

He looked put out. "I admit, that was the one benefit of my punishment. Not to mention that I still had my magic."

Rowena frowned. "Tell me what you think the nature of your… _punishment_ is."

"Was," he corrected. "The interface of Morpheus caused me to undergo a transformation which would cause me much embarrassment. Perhaps Morpheus thought that I would learn something from the experience. Once I lied," he threw up his hands, "my chance at redemption was over."

She regarded him doubtfully. "You lived as another person for almost a month, and you learned nothing from the experience?"

He smiled. "I learned how to cook, much about the arts and music of Midgard, how to play the piano…"

"You know what I mean," she scowled. "So you think that she's gone?"

He spread his arms wide. "I am as I have been, and as I shall always be."

She did not appear to believe him. "If I were you, I would be very careful about lying. There's no telling what might happen."

Loki glanced at the clock above the door and she sighed. Clearly he was done sharing with her. She stood, holding her hand out for him to shake it. He squeezed it much too hard, grinding the small bones together, watching for her response. She did not even wince. He sighed and let go.

"Please feel free to call me if there's anything you need," she said politely.

"Anything?" he drawled.

She gave him an exasperated look. "Any counseling."

He smiled mischievously as he left. Once the door was closed, Rowena leaned her forehead against it. She glanced up at the clock and sighed. Even if she left now, her husband didn't get off work until five. She went to her desk and sat down heavily. She pulled out her cell phone and smiled as she started a text message: _Do you have any idea where we put those leather cuffs?_

* * *

_**A/N: **__The quote "That which yields is not always weak" is from Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel legacy. It's the motto of Valerian House, which specializes in submissive courtesans. It's a gorgeous book series, and some of the best BDSM lit I've ever read._

_Please don't kill me for participating in the Loki-was-possessed conspiracy theory. At the time that I was developing this story, I had noticed that Loki's eyes were blue in the Avengers movie and green in the comics. I had forgotten that they were also blue in Thor. It didn't help that I saw a movie poster for Thor where they had digitally changed Loki's eyes to green. I don't really know why Marvel chose to change Loki's eye color, but whatever. It's important to the story, and I'm not doing it in such a way that he's totally forgiven for everything he did while possessed. This will be discussed further in Chapter 28, but for the most part it won't have much effect on his personality._


	22. Tea and Conversation

_Loki and the Avengers are the property of Marvel Comics. For now._

* * *

**Chapter 22: Tea and Conversation**

After his appointment, Rogers escorted Loki back to the apartment. Instead of standing guard in the hallway, though, the captain asked if he could be invited in.

"Of course," Loki said automatically, blinking in surprise.

They sat on the couch and Loki turned on the television. After a few minutes, he tossed the remote to Steve with a disgusted sound-there was nothing on which appealed to him. Steve found a documentary on the Vietnam War, which he still didn't really understand, and they watched it together with an uneasy silence.

Eventually Loki got up and rummaged around in the kitchen, coming back with sandwiches for the both of them.

"Thank you," Steve said, frowning at the sandwich.

"It's not poisoned," Loki said before taking a bite.

Steve laughed a little. "I just thought that you didn't need to eat much, now that you're not human."

He shrugged. "Habit."

The captain stayed until evening, when there was a knock on the door. He answered it, Loki remaining on the couch.

"There you are," he heard Natasha's voice from the hallway. "What are you doing in there?"

Steve glanced back into the room as Loki stood to join them. "Keeping him company?" he said as if it were obvious. "Anyway, it's easier to keep an eye on him. Less boring, too," he joked.

"Please, come in," Loki said, the image of a polite host.

Natasha narrowed her eyes, caught between Steve's kind example and Loki's suspicious good behavior. "Alright, but just until you turn in."

Loki gave her an amused look as Steve said his goodbyes, but remained silent.

"What's so funny?" she asked after the door had closed.

"Only that I do not need to sleep. I could remain awake for the next 72 hours with no ill effects. You, on the other hand..." he frowned. "When do you sleep?"

She shrugged. "During the day. I switched to night shift after London."

He almost asked her if she closed her curtains to keep out the sunlight, but decided to keep his knowledge of her mildly exhibitionist habits to himself. "Make yourself at home," he said instead, gesturing towards the living room. "I do so enjoy your company," he added.

"Why?" she wasn't buying it.

He smiled. "You are clever, Agent Romanov. I like that. It's nice to have a conversational partner who can keep up."

Natasha hesitated a moment, and then walked in. Rogers had a point, Loki could escape through one of the windows, and she would never know it out in the hallway.

She took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Coffee? Tea?" Loki was thoroughly amused by how his politeness seemed to set her on edge.

"Coffee," she sighed.

He raised an eyebrow. "You don't seem too happy about that," he commented.

She made a face. "I hate coffee, but tea just makes me sleepy."

Loki smiled a little. "Let me give you something to try," he suggested.

She eyed him, suspicious, but he seemed eager to show her whatever it was. She nodded.

He set about making tea, heating water in the kettle as he measured the leaves into a small strainer. He found some honey in the cupboard and pulled the milk out of the fridge. Once the water was just barely boiling, he steeped the tea, adding the honey and milk with practiced care. At last he set a mug on the table in front of

Natasha, taking one for himself as well.

She picked it up and breathed in the swirling steam. "It smells like chocolate," she said, surprised.

"Try it," he suggested, smiling secretly.

She took a sip. "This is hot chocolate," she stated. "Really good, dark hot chocolate, but-"

He shook his head, grinning. "It's tea, with chocolate in it. A special kind of tea called maté, with as much caffeine as coffee."

She smiled in spite of herself. "Where did you find this?"

"I asked Dr. Bryardie where she bought her tea, and I found this online." He did not add that Thor had purchased it.

"How is the good doctor, anyway?" she asked sardonically.

Loki thought about that a moment. "Interesting," he said at length. "She is a talented summoner, much more so than I would have guessed. Also, did you notice that she's a natural submissive?"

Natasha nearly spat out her tea. "No, can't say as I did," she answered automatically. When he looked disappointed, she rolled her eyes. "I don't assess _everyone _sexually. Besides, you never can tell with subs. Some of the most powerful men and women in the world prefer to get their jollies trussed up like a pig."

Loki waved a hand dismissively. "Those aren't real submissives. They're just lazy narcissists who want an excuse to make the other person do all the work."

She laughed a little. "Doms are much easier to spot," she added.

"Oh?" he smiled, remembering her accurate assessment of him.

"They tend to be unmitigated assholes," she finished.

He pressed his lips together, but whether to hide laughter or anger was unclear.

She took a sip of her tea, thinking. "I thought that 'lazy narcissist' was basically the definition of a submissive," she joked.

"Oh no," Loki said gleefully. He stared into his cup and seemed to be reminiscing.

"Enlighten me," Natasha suggested. It was one corner of human sexuality she had yet to really understand. No matter how many times she played the dominatrix, she still didn't see the appeal.

Both of Loki's eyebrows shot up. "I would love to-" he began teasingly.

"Verbally," she interrupted.

He sighed theatrically. "As you like. A true submissive does not just enjoy the physical aspect of being dominated. There is a mental component as well. They find pleasure in being demeaned, in having their will utterly denied. It's an act of great vulnerability, and therefore risk. Or trust, depending on the dominant."

She frowned, put off. "How exactly is that different than rape?"

He shrugged, remarkably casual about it. "Consent?" he guessed.

Natasha shuddered.

"The best submissives, though," he went on, "are the ones who fight back. It makes the dominant angry, you see, and goads them to new heights-"

"I don't think I want to talk about this anymore," she said suddenly. "I'm sorry I asked."

He stopped, surprised. "Why Agent Romanov, have I shocked you?" He sat back in his chair, and she couldn't tell if he was teasing or genuinely disappointed. "And here I thought you were a kindred, jaded spirit."

"There is a difference between knowledge and enjoyment," she warned.

"Ah yes," he looked suddenly somber, gazing out the window as he sipped his tea. "We were both ill used, weren't we? Since we were babes in arms, by all and sundry."

Natasha bristled. How dare he compare them? How could his pampered life as the second-favorite prince possibly compare to what had been done to her? What she had been made to do? She stood suddenly, and he glanced up at her, surprised. "I'm going to go stand duty in the hallway," she said, and began to leave.

"Here," he stood, following her and holding out her unfinished mug of tea. "I hope it helps."

She took it, unthinking, and made her way out to the hall. She stared down at the tea, confused. _Why does he get to me this way? _She wondered. He was compromising her focus. She would just have to distance herself, that's all.

* * *

Over the next week, Natasha continued to pull the graveyard shift guarding Loki. Every night he offered for her to come in and 'visit,' and every night she turned him down. He offered to make her more maté, and she turned this down too, telling him it made her jittery. It was a lie, and she was pretty sure he knew it, but she just couldn't let him lure her into a false sense of security.

After his trip to see Dr. Bryardie, there were no more outings. Loki was unconcerned with this, calling the apartment 'a much better cage than the last.' He was given limited internet access, and the only special request he ever submitted was for a printer and some paper.

Once Thor was sure that Jane was safely away from Loki, he returned to Asgard to discuss the situation with Odin. An uneasy peace settled over the Avengers. Loki was behaving, for the moment, and whatever the King of Asgard decided, it was well out of their hands.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Yay, some fun interaction between Loki and Natasha!_

_I've been thinking… the once-a-week update schedule and my style of slow exposition kind of make for a frustrating, snail-like pace. On top of that, I still have a very robust buffer of chapters I've already written. Therefore, I think I will begin posting chapters twice a week, one on Saturday and one on Wednesday. The Wednesday chapters will likely be posted late in the day, but keep an eye out for them!_

_As always, I adore reviews. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a review email in my inbox!_

_Wednesday's chapter will feature more of Loki and Natasha, and things will get a little heated… ^.~_


	23. Music in the Night

_I do not own The Avengers, they belong to Marvel Comics._

_Warning: This chapter is a little goofy. But I can't be expected to take myself seriously all the time._

* * *

**Chapter 23: Music in the Night**

Natasha stood in the hallway. A chair had been provided for her, but she was afraid if she sat that she would fall asleep. It must have been three in the morning, and Loki was still playing the piano, as he had been doing since she arrived for her duty shift. He had a propensity for soothing classical pieces-maybe he was trying to put himself to sleep, but Natasha needed to stay awake.

Her slow slide into unconsciousness was interrupted when she began to realize that he was singing, as well. The song seemed vaguely familiar to her. "No way..." she whispered under her breath.

She let herself into the apartment, locking the door behind her, silent as a cat. She listened as Loki's soft tenor voice drifted around the corner.

"_Here lies everything_  
_The world I wanted at my feet_  
_My victory's complete_  
_So hail to the king._  
_Arise and sing..._

_So your world's benign_  
_So you think justice has a voice_  
_And we all have a choice_  
_But now your world is mine_  
_and I am fine..."_

The music turned a little more sinister, and Natasha silently slid down the hallway, sneaking a glance at him.

"_Now the nightmare's real_  
_now Loki Laufeyson is here_  
_to make you quake with fear_  
_to make the whole world kneel_  
_And I won't feel..._  
_...a thing"_

It took all of Natasha's willpower not to laugh when he replaced the lyrics with his own name. She let him finish. "What are you doing?"

Loki jumped a little, and then turned smiling. She couldn't help but return it, this time she managed to sneak up on him.

"Don't you know?" his fingers drifted over the keys in a complicated arpeggio. "Music soothes the monster."

Natasha laughed. "Yeah, but... Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog?"

He smiled ruefully. "Well, let's just say that I can relate to dealing with Captain Hammer." He flipped through an array of sheet music spread out in front of him. There were more stacks on the bench and the floor as well. She gestured towards the stack on the bench, and he moved it so she could sit next to him. It felt dangerous to sit so close, but she knew the effect worked both ways, and she could turn it to her advantage.

"Do you know why you are my favorite of your little band of adventurers, Agent Romanov?"

She shrugged, unsure where this was going.

Loki turned to look at her. "Because all of the others would have tried to convince me I'm _not _a monster. You know better."

Natasha let out a long breath. "We've all got our demons to face down," she offered, but she knew it was merely a platitude for them. They _were _their demons. "What's with all the sheet music?" she tried to change the subject. "You never bothered with it before."

A sneer marred the perfection of his features. "Music is not unlike magic. It would appear I have discovered precisely why I can no longer cast spells. I seem to be unable to memorize anything very complicated." He let his hands rest on the keys softly.

Natasha tilted her head. "I thought it was just an ability that was stripped from you, like Thor's powers."

Loki laughed humorlessly. "Magic isn't an _ability_, it is a skill. You need an innate intelligence to understand it, and time to learn it, and I suppose there is a varying degree of talent in how sensitive you are to perceiving energy..." he trailed off, thinking.

"But?" she prodded him.

"But to be honest, if I could get my hands on a good grimoire, I'd be back in business." He tried to smile menacingly at her, but she saw the vulnerability behind it.

"What's a grimoire?" Natasha leaned back. If Loki felt like talking, she certainly wasn't going to ignore any information she could get.

"It's a book of magic, containing spells."

She frowned. "Well, couldn't you just write one, if you remembered?"

He shook his head. "To craft a grimoire, you don't just write down the incantations. You trap the spells within the book, so that speaking the incantation is all that is necessary to activate them. It's a very difficult thing to do."

Natasha thought about that a moment. "But then anyone could use it?"

"No," he chuckled. "As I said, a certain level of intelligence or natural talent is required. I believe Mr. Stark might be able, if he were to open his mind enough, and possibly also Dr. Bryardie, at least the simpler spells, since she is very sensitive to magic. If they were able to work together, absolutely."

She stored that information away for future use. "But I'm guessing they're not terribly common. Since you saw fit to tell me about them, you probably wouldn't be able to get your hands on one."

He sighed heavily. "Alas, no. So I remain here." With this, he turned back to his music.

She listened for a while, taking the opportunity to study him in the single light that sat on top of the piano. She wondered if he knew how little he had really changed. He still opened up to her as he would to no one else, and she didn't understand why. Before he had said it was because she was clever, which was a trait he admired above all others, but Natasha suspected there was something more to it than that. The both of them had managed to get inside of each other's heads, and instead of being scared off, they were intrigued by what they saw.

Not liking where her thoughts were leading her, Natasha paid more attention to what Loki was playing. "What is this? I don't think I've heard it before."

Loki continued to play the rather simple piano part as he spoke. "It's by a deliciously lewd little French girl by the name of Melissa Auf der Maur. It's called Overpower Thee. Shall I sing some of it?" He grinned teasingly at her.

She shrugged. She wasn't Steve, he wasn't going to scare her off with a few bawdy lyrics.

"_I like your eyes_  
_I like your shape_  
_And I could easily overpower you_  
_I won't say a thing_  
_I won't tell a soul_  
_But I could easily overpower you..._"

Loki somehow managed to put a whole world of threats and promises into those few words with his voice. Natasha felt all the hairs on her neck stand up on end. Once again, Loki had managed to lull her into a sense of security only to jolt her out with a surprise.

He finished the simple piece, and turned to gauge her reaction. He chuckled, low and soft. "Oh, I don't think you liked that," he said teasingly.

"It wasn't that long ago that you decided to play puppeteer with my best friend," she warned him.

For a split second, Loki looked hurt. But he smoothed it over with a look of mild irritation. "Why do you always have to see everything as an attack?" he inquired. "There are much more... enjoyable ways in which I might overpower you..." he gave her a playful leer.

She rolled her eyes, but froze when his hand drifted up her leg. She caught his expression, which still burned with heat but had turned deadly serious. "We could make such music, you and I," he breathed.

Natasha's mind reeled. Were he any other man, she would believe she had him in the palm of her hand. She would screw him, here and now, and draw from him every last iota of information she could. It was, after all, what she did. But with Loki... for all she knew he was playing _her_. There was no way to tell.

"I don't think so. You'd want me on my knees, and without your powers, there's no way that's going to happen." She was not going to let him intimidate her.

He grinned. "Oh Natasha, I don't need my magic to make you kneel," he murmured close to her ear.

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't trust you," she said, surprised at the words. It was not what she had intended to say.

He laughed softly, breaking the tension of the moment. He stared at his music. "Good," he smirked.

"Why?" Natasha crossed her arms, wishing she had gotten a chair from the kitchen instead of sitting so close to him.

He looked at her for a long moment, assessing her. He opened his mouth to say something, and then paused. He shrugged artfully, turning away again. "Well, because you have nothing to worry about. I only wanted to see how you would react. I have absolutely no intention of pursuing you."

Natasha felt a little lurch in her stomach as reality reorganized itself, and found herself looking at Loki's female form. She sat, swimming in her too-large clothes, looking very confused.

"Where... what's going on?" she asked softly, looking around.

Natasha blinked rapidly. "I have no idea. You tell me."

She got up, staring at the couch. "I was just sitting there, talking to Thor, and suddenly I'm here, with you, and it's night, and why am I wearing these clothes?"

"You... you don't remember?" Natasha stood as well.

Loki was looking more alarmed by the second. "Remember what?!"

Natasha tried to make soothing gestures at her. "Calm down. What's the last thing you remember, exactly?"

"I..." she blushed a little, looking away from Natasha. "I was just telling Thor that I was happy that he was happy." Natasha could tell there was more, and waited for Loki to speak. "I... I lied to him."

Suddenly Natasha remembered the last thing Loki had said before he had switched back. _I have absolutely no intention of pursuing you._"Lying," she said out loud.

Loki looked up to her, her eyes begging for explanation.

"When you lied to Thor, you turned back into your old self," she said quickly.

She shuddered. "Then why isn't this whole place leveled?"

Natasha laughed. "I don't think he would have gone that far, he didn't even try to escape. But he can't do any magic."

Loki looked horrified at that. She remembered Morpheus's warning that if she used her powers for ill, she would lose them. She held out a hand, and it burst into green flames immediately. She sighed in relief and collapsed on the couch.

Natasha sat beside her. "You don't remember anything?"

Loki shook her head. A thought seemed to come to her. "What lie did He tell?" the emphasis she put on the pronoun was interesting.

She bit her tongue. "It was nothing. Just a joke, really."

She looked at Natasha sidelong, suspecting. But she didn't ask. "I suppose you should call SHIELD then?" she said with some exasperation.

Natasha jumped, and dug her phone out of her pocket. "Shit, you're right."

As she made the call, Loki continued to study her. Clearly, she had been rattled by whatever had happened just before her return. But it was unlike Natasha to let anything affect her like this.

_Hmmm..._

* * *

_**A/N: **__Let's see, flirting between Loki and Natasha, check. Return of Femme Loki, check. I do believe that should make everyone happy! The plot thickens… *rubs hands together*_

_I wrote this chapter shortly after watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog for the first time. After I had written it, my husband Brian showed me this fabulous video: __ watch?v=xOD2BkrqOOE_

_In my defense, I came up with the parallels all by myself. I'm just not the first person to do so. ._

_As always, reviews make me happier than Coulson sitting next to Captain America, so please put in your two cents!_


	24. Complex Arrangements

_I claim no rights to Loki or the Avengers, only Dr. Bryardie and the story itself._

_Hello people who make me happy, this is another looooong chapter, and there's a lot of what I've begun referring to as 'psychobabble' in it. You do not need to understand or remember any of it. It's interesting, and explains the title of the story, but if it's not really your cup of tea, feel free to skim._

* * *

**Chapter 24: Complex Arrangements**

Loki made it clear that she would prefer to return to normality as quickly as possible. She argued that since she knew the switch trigger, lying, she could reasonably control when and where her male form would appear. Fury, through Natasha, agreed, with the provision that Loki go to speak with Dr. Bryardie one more time. If the psychologist agreed, Loki would have all the privileges she had earned returned to her.

She quickly agreed, she had wanted to speak to Rowena again anyway. Before she did anything, though, she made sure to create a pair of sweatpants and a tank top large enough for her male form to wear. She knew what it meant if she lost all her magic, and while she wasn't sure how she felt about Him, she still didn't want Him to show up naked. She would wear these under her illusioned clothes at all times.

In the morning, she was taken back to Stark Tower. Her guard had been reduced to Natasha and one very large SHIELD agent. As they rode through the streets, Loki could sense an awkwardness between her and Natasha, as if she were completely the Black Widow and not at all the friend. Once again, she wondered what her male form could have said to make her so uncomfortable. Her ruby flashed, and she recalled the 'contingency plans' He had made in case Barton had not survived the invasion. She shuddered.

Even Dr. Bryardie seemed wary of her now, hesitating a little at the door before smiling and welcoming her in.

Loki sighed and flopped down on the couch.

"Something troubling you?" she asked. She began to make tea unasked, choosing a soothing herbal blend.

"All the work I did, trying to make friends and get people to trust me, and He's undone it in less than a week," she grumbled.

Rowena smiled sympathetically. "I wouldn't place all the blame on his behavior, that he still exists at all is a little alarming to some people."

She thought about that. "For most people, especially SHIELD operatives, I would believe that. But for Natasha, for you..." she shook her head. "He had to have said something, done something, to make you so hesitant."

She stirred some honey in the tea and passed it to Loki. "Well I can't speak for Natasha, but in my case it's rather my fault."

Loki frowned.

"I underestimated him in a number of ways. A psychologist is supposed to present an implacable facade. We should be fairly emotionless, beyond sympathy and understanding. I let him get under my skin, and then he saw past my mask." she shrugged. "With any other patient I would worry about having crossed that boundary."

Loki sipped her tea. It was warm, and made her feel calm. "Why not Him then?"

"I mentioned to you before that your description of your life before the change seemed to fit a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. It would seem that he retains this issue while you do not. One of the traits of this personality disorder is a lack of respect for or inability to judge boundaries."

She nodded, agreeing. "Why can't I remember anything that happened, like He can?"

Rowena sighed. "It fits something I've been thinking of. It's called dissociative identity disorder, or DID, for short. People with this disorder seem to have more than one personality in their heads. Often there's a single personality, sometimes the dominant personality, who can remember everything, and the others are only aware of their own existence."

Loki frowned. "Is the dominant personality the real one?"

She smiled. "Not always. There isn't really a 'real' personality or 'fake' ones. They're all part of the same person. Usually the mind has been fragmented by some kind of trauma. In your case, I believe it was the intention of the Morpheus interface."

"Why?" Loki asked.

"I imagine that Morpheus believed it would be of some benefit to you," she reasoned. She studied Loki a moment. "How are you holding up?"

She sighed. "I'm alright, I guess. I'm just frustrated that I have no idea what's going on. I'm just lucky He can't seem to go a week without lying."

Rowena raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. "Do you think it would be possible for me to speak to him again? I want to see if I could get him to agree to a few things that will make life a little easier for the both of you.

Loki frowned. She knew her former self better than anyone. "I would have to give something in return. What could I offer?"

"Time," she said simply. "As you mentioned, you have better control over your propensity to lie. You could remain in this form for months, indefinitely even. He won't like that."

"I don't like the idea of Him running my life either, you know," Loki pouted.

"If you have a right to exist, so does he. He was here first," Rowena pointed out.

She sighed, thinking. After a long moment she looked up and said, "I don't think that's a good idea."

Rowena began to say something in response, but closed her mouth with an audible snap as Loki changed before her eyes.

He stared down at the clothes he was wearing, picking at the tank top. "Well, the gesture was thoughtful, but I could have wished for something more... _tasteful_," he said flippantly. He glanced up to catch Rowena's surprised expression. "She's good, isn't She? I'll give Her that."

Dr. Bryardie snapped back to attention. Before that point, it had been easy to believe they were two totally different people. Seeing the change happen before her eyes made the idea much more solid. "You could ask," she suggested.

Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Leave her notes. She needs to know what's going on when she's gone. If you kept a...diary of sorts, and kept it on yourself, she could read it and know. She could also do you favors, if you needed it."

He smiled. "And what would _I _need to do in return?"

"Try to minimize the damage you do to her relationships. In particular, Natasha."

"Agent Romanov?" Loki narrowed his eyes.

"Yes. They are close. You could consider respecting their friendship," she suggested.

Loki tilted his head. "But I do respect it. I appreciate it. I should like to be... friends, with Natasha, at least."

Rowena laughed. "I know what you want with Natasha. And I'm not going to stop you from pursuing it. But you need to find a way to do it without destroying what

'She' has already established. Court her as an ordinary woman would expect to be courted, with kindness and consideration."

"Who says that I'm courting her? And anyway, she is not an ordinary woman," Loki argued.

"She's not a submissive either," Rowena shot back. "And she never will be. It's not in her to submit to anyone." She folded her arms.

Loki merely smiled.

Dr. Bryardie made a disgusted sound. "That's why you like her isn't it? You want to break her. Well I have some bad news for you. She's already _been _broken. She's spent a lot of time putting herself back together, and she's a lot stronger for it. If you succeed, you'd only be joining a long list of despicable people. And who knows what would be left, afterwards?"

This was more than sufficient to subdue him. He stared down at his hands. "I see your point. I shall be more... considerate when dealing with her."

"Good." Rowena relaxed. If he hadn't agreed, she wasn't sure he was worth the trouble.

"May I ask," Loki said suddenly, "what you _really _think the Morpheus Interface did? She's too naïve to notice, but I think you have made more than just a guess."

"I have a theory, yes." Rowena thought a moment. "It's against common practice to tell a patient what their diagnosis is, you know," she commented. "But I've never seen the sense of it. Putting a name to the problem can often do a world of good, even if it oversimplifies things a little."

"You said once that you didn't think anyone should be left in the dark. Why is She the exception?" Loki asked.

She sighed. "It's very complicated."

He leaned back. "I am not without some intelligence," he joked. "Try me."

Rowena took a deep breath. "When the field of psychology was still very young, there was a man named Carl Jung who put forward a lot of good theories.

Unfortunately, many of them dealt with the more mystical aspects of the psyche. Nowadays, people like to pretend that psychology is a so-called 'hard science,' based purely in empirical research and fact. There's no room for mysticism in science, they think. Magic, after all, is not real." She gave him an ironic smile, which he returned.

"One of these theories concerned Archetypes. A contemporary of his, a linguist by the name of Joseph Campbell, had proposed that all myths and stories had a similar plot, as well as the same characters: The old mentor, the goddess, woman as temptress, the father figure, etc. Jung agreed, but he wondered _why_. Why would so many people, across so many cultures, write the same thing, over and over? Jung theorized that this was due to the existence of a collective unconscious between all people, and that each of these Archetypes was embodied within and around every person."

Loki considered this. "It's a very grand proposal," he said, "but not terribly different from what I have learned, on various levels. Yggdrasil, for example."

"Yes," Rowena agreed. "We are all connected, somehow, even if it's just from the very experience of living. Jung argued that to become a whole, healthy person, one must come to recognize some of these archetypes within themselves, and accept them. This process is called individuation. There's a specific order in which one must discover and integrate each archetype. The first is the persona-the face that we present to the outside world. A child's main job is to develop this, the correct behavior and attitude as encouraged by his parents and peers. Next, the ego. This involves the discovery of what we want from life, and how we can realistically achieve those goals in the world around us. This usually happens in adolescence, with much turbulence." She paused, taking a sip of her tea.

Loki took the moment to reflect on how this applied to his own life. The world around him, Asgard, had expected much from him. Possibly too much. He had found that he couldn't gain what he wanted, approval and admiration, through the same methods as those around him: great deeds of strength and valor. So he had pursued magic, and he had learned to lie when the truth wasn't what he liked. "I'm with you so far," he said.

"Next comes the tricky part, and I think this is where your issues came to a head. The next archetype is the Shadow. The Shadow embodies the capacity for evil in all of us. Just as you stood on the cusp of the ego and the shadow, you learned of your true parentage. You learned that everything you had thought you knew, everything you had based the persona and ego on, was a lie."

Loki looked down at his hands, clenched on his knees. "Yes," he breathed.

"Instead of integrating slowly with the shadow, by accepting it as necessary but unthreatening, you _embraced _it. You _became _the shadow, because you thought the world expected it of you. Because that's what the Other wanted you to do."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch. "I am... I thought..."

"That you're evil? Because you're Jotunn?" Rowena suggested.

He nodded.

"Evil is a choice, Loki. No one is born good or evil. Everyone is offered both paths. Sometimes the world makes one or the other easier, but there is _always _a choice. That is the definition of free will," she said softly.

He swallowed. "So, if I failed to integrate the Shadow, what happens?"

She smiled, resisting the urge to laugh. "You can't fail this, Loki. It's more accurate to say that you have not succeeded yet. Jung would say that you have a shadow complex, that you were possessed by the shadow, which in your case I think is true in a very literal sense."

"So where does She come into the picture?" he asked.

"Ah, that's where it gets interesting," Rowena set down her cup decisively. "You see, the next stage after the shadow is the Anima or Animus. Every man has an Anima and every woman an Animus. They represent the aspects of the opposite gender. Gender is a construct of society, and nowhere near as black and white as they like to paint it. Each of us has qualities that better suit society's picture of the opposite gender. We have to learn to accept that we don't necessarily fit into society's pigeon holes, and that's okay. For some people this is easy, either because their personality neatly aligns with society's ideas, or because they are _so _different that it's always been obvious to them."

"Like Lady Sif?" Loki asked suddenly.

"Yes, Lady Sif is an excellent example. She knew she wanted to be a warrior, and she didn't care that in Asgard that is a man's role. She has embraced her Animus."

Loki frowned. "So then, that means my Anima..."

"...is Her," Rowena finished for him.

Loki groaned. "I hate Her."

"Of course you do," she said cheerfully. "She is everything you have suppressed within yourself, deeming it unfitting."

He made a disgusted sound. "She is naïve and gullible, and she reeks of sentiment. She opens herself to everyone, making herself vulnerable to attack. Like a babe in the woods."

"That is to say," Rowena corrected, "That she trusts. She trusts others, and trusts herself enough to admit to her own emotions."

He scowled at her. "Why not tell Her, then?"

Rowena looked thoughtful. "I don't think it would help. She is very insecure, as are you. If she comes to believe that she's _not _a vital part of your personality, that she's just some... fragment, then she will lack the confidence she needs."

He rolled his eyes. "How do I resolve this... Anima Complex? How do I get rid of Her?"

This time, she did laugh. "You don't. That's just it, to make her part of yourself again, you have to accept her. You need to see her value, and see how her traits are necessary to you."

"Well that's never going to happen," he said darkly.

"It's possible," Rowena admitted. "There are plenty of people who never reach the final stage, where they assess their previous progress and figure out how it all fits together."

Loki crossed his arms. "Whatever."

Rowena fought back a smile, he seemed so much like his other self in that moment that it was almost funny. Already she had begun to manifest in him. "Perhaps you would prefer that we focus on more practical matters, instead of vague theories?" she suggested.

"Very much," he said, still stubborn.

"I suggest that you work out a schedule to share your time. How much time do you think you should get?"

He laughed a little. "Well I know she'll give me at least one quarter," he argued.

"Hm, yes," Rowena agreed. "I, too, thought it a bit suspicious that she disappeared just before her fourth week as a human and then reappeared a week later. Perhaps deep down you don't want to know _that _much about being female."

He gave her a sarcastic glare. "I know more than you might guess."

She put up her hands. "Let's not argue the point. Is one week a month enough time for you?"

He thought about it. "It would be difficult to accomplish much in one week alone, but to be gone for longer than that would be very disrupting..."

"Alright, so every other week?"

He knew what she wanted him to say, and it irked him that she made him speak it anyway. "That would be fair," he said grudgingly.

"Excellent. A switch every week, that makes it simple enough. And in return, you'll try not to make too much of an ass of yourself?"

He smiled a little in spite of himself. "Perhaps. If she supplies me with some more appropriate attire," he suggested.

She produced a pen and a pad of paper from the coffee table. "Ask her yourself."

Loki took a moment to think out what to say, and then wrote it down. He folded it up, and handed the writing materials back to Rowena. "And now, I suppose I should disappear?"

Rowena gave him a sympathetic look. "Afraid so. I'll need to explain things to her. I'll see to it that she switches back in a week."

He nodded. "Let's see... I despise the color purple," he said. Nothing happened.

"Oh come on, you can do better than that," Rowena joked.

"Hmm... how about this? When I was very young, I broke Lady Sif's wrist. I told her it was an accident, I was new to using my magic. She believed me, foolish girl."

Rowena raised her eyebrows, but again, nothing happened. "Was that a lie?" she asked.

He frowned. "Yes. It was her elbow I broke." He looked down, thinking, and missed Rowena's slightly horrified expression.

"Perhaps I have to believe it, but I'm expecting you to lie?" she suggested.

This seemed to spark an idea in his mind. "Ah, here is a game we used to play in Asgard, at which I was the very best. I shall tell you three things. Two of them are true, and one is a lie."

She nodded. "That should work."

He put on a very straight poker face. "I love to dance. Once, I convinced Thor to dress like a girl. I loathe blueberries."

Rowena thought about it, but couldn't decide between dancing and Thor dressed as a girl. Apparently neither was right, because Loki changed back to her female form. She glanced up at the clock, and then down at the note in her hand.

"Well, that seems to have worked," she smiled. "What?" she asked at Rowena's funny expression.

"Do you like blueberries?" she asked.

She shrugged. "They're alright. I like them in pastries, especially."

"What about dancing?"

Loki's face lit up, "Oh, I love dancing. I always have."

Rowena smiled to herself, and began to explain to Loki how the arrangement would work.

* * *

_**A/N: **__My sister and psychology beta, Amy, wants me to point out that as Jung isn't really taught anymore (for the reasons mentioned in the story) she really has no idea how accurate my summary is. So you're going to have to rely on my very casual studies at the University of Wikipedia (although I didn't just look it up for the story—I've been interested in it for some time). However, she thinks that the conclusions Dr. Bryardie comes to are fairly sound._

_Are you guys enjoying the new twice-a-week posting schedule? I know I'm super happy with the increase in reviews. Those always make my day! Up next on Saturday, Chapter 25: Persuasions._


	25. Persuasions

_I don't own the Avengers, or Loki. But y'all seem to like what I do with them, so…_

* * *

**Chapter 25: Persuasions**

"She's going to _what?_" Fury asked through clenched teeth.

"She will continue her restoration work for a week, and then she'll switch back to her original form for another week," Dr. Bryardie repeated.

Fury glared at the young woman. He had understood the words perfectly well the first time around. It was the idea behind them that he found hard to grasp. "So what you're telling me is that she can control the switch,"

"Yes," she agreed.

"And she's going to _intentionally _turn back into the maniac who tried to level this place?" he demanded.

Rowena sighed. She wished very much that Loki had not asked her to keep his possession at the hands of the Other a secret. Telling Fury would make this so much easier. "I have a very good reason to believe that Loki is no longer a threat-at least not as much of one as he once was. Without his magic-"

"Without his magic, he can still beat the tar out of _Captain America_," Fury pointed out. "Supersoldiers are in a bit of short supply right now, if you hadn't noticed."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Which is precisely why you should give Loki a chance."

Fury looked confused, and she smiled.

"As you mentioned in our last meeting, he has some very unpleasant former allies. He has even less desire to see them again than we do." She pointed out.

"The enemy of my enemy is _not _my friend, Bryardie." Fury didn't like where she was going with this.

"Loki's female form has already proven that she has the potential to be a very valuable member of the Avengers initiative," she argued.

"Because she does _magic_, and she's not an asshole of mythic proportions. We don't really need another one of those on the team," he reminded her.

She nodded. "I agree that it's often difficult to get their personalities to jive. Barton in particular would not be happy about working with him. But I believe that he and Romanov would be a very good undercover team. They're both highly skilled at deception, and this would free up Barton to work long-range, which he's much better at."

Fury really didn't want to agree with her, but it was difficult not to imagine what such a team could accomplish. "Has he even asked to be on the team?"

"No, and he won't," she said. "He thinks he's better than us. But he'll take any opportunity he can to show off to Romanov. We can use this to our advantage. If nothing else, I suggest the continued use of the female Loki. He remembers everything she does, and the trust she is developing with the team may bleed over into his persona."

Fury nodded. "I think we'll stick to that plan for the time being. Until he shows he wants to play nice, I'm not going to offer him the opportunity to stab someone in the back."

Rowena nodded. "Is that all then?"

He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. Just as she was about to open the door, he spoke again. "What is it you see in him anyway?"

She turned back, and shrugged a little. "Someone I would much prefer as a friend than an enemy."

Fury turned away again, and she left.

* * *

After her appointment with Dr. Bryardie, Loki grabbed some lunch in the cafeteria and then headed up to Tony's lab to work. More materials had arrived during her absence, and she threw herself into the work without a second thought. It wasn't until a few hours later, when Tony showed up, that she came back to reality.

"Hey, I didn't know you were in," he called by way of greeting. "Whoa... you've been busy..."

She stepped back and looked at her work. She had created several large statues and a number of cornice pieces. "I guess so," she said, surprised herself.

Tony frowned. "You're probably about done then?"

She stared down at her hands. "Actually, no. I mean, I've made a serious dent in my reserves, but I think I could probably do this twice over," she gestured to the crowded workspace.

"Okay..." Tony tried to hide his surprise. "Well, you should probably give it a break anyway. We'll run out of materials at this rate."

She nodded. "You know, I bet it's because of Him," she realized out loud.

"Him?" Tony had very intentionally avoided Loki's male form. He was still dealing with some pretty intense nightmares, and he'd rather avoid the issue altogether, no matter what 'Dr.' Bryardie said about facing his fears.

"Yes. It's entirely possible that the reason I have more energy is because it was building up while I was gone, because he couldn't use it," she suggested.

Tony thought about that. "But you don't seem to have more to work with on Mondays, after a rest over the weekend."

She shook her head. "That's because I'm still human on the weekend," she joked. "While He's here, He's Jotunn, and his magic reserves are much greater than mine.

They build up, and they don't dissipate during the change, apparently."

Tony shrugged. "Well, I guess he just got way more useful," he joked back.

"Hey," she thought of something, and pulled up a stool, sitting next to where Tony was tapping away at a workstation. "I'm um... I'm not going to be here for the next poker night," she explained.

Tony frowned. "Damn. Should we reschedule it?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I know you all have pretty busy schedules. I actually thought that maybe you could, you know, let Him play instead."

He stopped typing and stared at her. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," she said, shrugging.

"Why?" he asked, incredulous.

She shrugged again. "I dunno, I just... I think he's lonely."

"_Lonely?_"

She played with the end of her braid absently. "Yeah. I mean, I was pretty lonely most of the time before the change, you know? And He's supposed to be the same as before. And I don't know, I just get this feeling, like he's really lonely."

Tony turned to face her. "So what? You want us all to make buddies with the guy who tried to kill us last month? Who killed Phil?"

At this, she blushed. "I guess it was a stupid idea," she said quietly to her shoes. "I just thought... He's so stuck up, he's never going to be the first person to offer the olive branch."

Tony rubbed a hand over his face. He really didn't want to have to tell her no. "Look, I'll talk to the other guys about it, but don't hold your breath, ok?"

Her face lit back up a little, and she nodded. She turned to go back to her work, when Jarvis piped up.

"There's a call from Director Fury for you, sir," he said. A window popped up on Tony's workstation and he tapped it open.

"Stark, you and Loki get your butts over to the conference room. Thor's back." With this, he hung up.

"Chatty guy, huh?" Tony asked Loki, and then rolled his eyes.

Loki was beaming from ear to ear, and she nearly skipped over to the elevator.

"You have some real issues, girl," he said, shaking his head as he followed.

"Oh, you have no idea," she laughed.

* * *

Loki took a deep breath, and opened the door to the conference room. There stood Thor, gorgeous as ever, speaking seriously with Natasha. The assassin caught sight of her first, and then Thor looked up as well.

"Loki," he said, surprised. "You're... back."

She smiled. "As are you. How are mother and father?"

Thor blinked a little. "They are well. Mother sends her love, of course."

Loki rubbed her arm awkwardly. She wanted to hug him, but she wasn't sure how he'd take it. And Natasha was sitting there watching.

"Well as cute as this family reunion is, we have business to discuss," Fury drawled sarcastically from his seat at the head of the table.

Loki sat down between Thor and Natasha, and turned her full, respectful attention towards the Director of SHIELD.

He snorted. "So what does the big guy in the sky have to say?" He asked Thor.

"Er..." Thor glanced at Loki "He had proposed that if you no longer wish to act as Loki's guard, that he could be returned to Asgard, to a... secure location..."  
Loki turned to look at Thor, worried. "Where?"

Thor put his hand on Loki's, which rested on the table. "I suggested that without your ability to use magic, drastic measures would not be necessary. Accommodations could easily be made in the palace, if that was even needed. But then Heimdall informed us that you had changed again, upsetting any plans we might have had."

She smiled wryly. "Sorry," she joked.

"Well here's our plan," Fury said, making it clear that it wasn't a plan he liked. "_This _Loki will stay for a week, and then switch back. They're to split the time half-and-half, every other week."

"I'm sorry," Tony interrupted, "but this is way confusing. Can we please give them nicknames so we can keep them straight?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Nicknames?"

"Yeah," Tony grinned. "Like, Femme Lokita and Original Recipe Loki," he joked.

"Femme Lokita?" Thor asked.

"You know, 'cause she goes on missions with Red here," he gestured to Natasha.

She shot him a deadly look that clearly showed what she thought of his nicknames.

"I wouldn't mind Femme Loki," Loki spoke up. "But I don't want to pick one for Him. It might just piss him off."

Fury rolled his eye. "Alright, then it will be one with Femme Loki and then one with Dude Loki. Happy?"

"Usually," Tony quipped.

Fury turned his attention to Thor. "Will that suit Mr. High-and-mighty?"

"We shall speak to him about it," Thor suggested. At Fury's exasperated sigh, he held up a hand. "Not to worry, I need not return to Asgard." He pulled a small stone from a pouch at his side, setting it on the table. It had a rune inscribed on the surface, which glowed.

"A Norn stone?" Loki asked, eyes wide.

Thor nodded. "Karnilla was kind enough to bestow a pair upon us so that we may remain in communication with Asgard while we are here."

Loki looked very surprised. "You know, you could have just asked. With a mirror I could easily contact another sorceress, such as Amora."

Thor smiled a little. "Yes, but that would require Amora's cooperation."

Loki sighed, rolling her eyes. "And I suppose she listed some ridiculous price for said cooperation, since she would fain have you spend so much time away."

"Precisely," he laughed. "Karnilla merely asked that Balder return to her for some time."

Loki frowned. "But that would mean that all the princes of Asgard are gone. What happens during the Odinsleep?"

"One of us shall be recalled," Thor reasoned.

As he went on explaining the situation, Tony shared a look with Natasha. "Do you have any idea what they're talking about?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "Politics. Seems it's much the same there as it is here."

"So how does this Norn stone work, anyway?" Fury interrupted both conversations.

Loki kept staring at it. "I'm afraid I'll have to use it, it takes some talent in magic. I imagine Father has the other one?"

Thor nodded, gesturing encouragingly.

Loki swallowed, and picked up the stone. She closed her eyes, concentrating. The others watched as she frowned, paling. After a while, a sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead. At last she opened her eyes, letting out a breath. She handed the stone back to Thor. "Odin agrees with the plan."

"Well good," Fury said, clearly chafing at the idea of any authority higher than his own. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have _work _to do." He got up and left, effectively ending the meeting.

The others stood to leave as well, although Loki faltered a little. Only Natasha seemed to notice. "You ok?" she asked quietly as Thor and Tony joked around.

Loki nodded. "The stone creates a telepathic connection between the two ends. A smart choice, since it eliminates any chance for deception."

Natasha thought about that a moment. "Like, talk with your minds telepathic, or read everything they're thinking telepathic?"

Loki sighed. "Both. And Odin is... not happy with me," she said somberly. She looked as if, in a weaker moment, she might cry.

The assassin patted her shoulder awkwardly. She had planned to stay distant from Loki, even after the change, but found it difficult. Somehow, she had made friends with her. She never made friends. _How did that happen? _she wondered.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Last night I had a nightmare that I went to update with this chapter, only to find that the mods had removed my story, apparently because they didn't like Femme Loki. I woke up and was so upset I couldn't sleep for the last half hour before my alarm went off lol._

_On a technical note: The Norn stones don't work quite the same here as they do in the comics, but I think the ones in the comics might be _made _to work that way. *shrugs* One of the two sides should come up with an inter-stellar communication device of some kind, just for the strategic benefit alone._

_Many thanks to the anonymous reviewer who came up with the nickname "Original Recipe Loki." It is by far the funniest I've ever heard, so I had to use it._


	26. A New Assignment

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers. Theme song for this Chapter (although especially for the last scene) is "My Oh My" by Tristan Prettyman._

* * *

**Chapter 26: A New Assignment**

The next week went by quickly. Tony made inquiries and found that he was, in fact, the only person who strongly objected to the male version of Loki joining them for poker night. Steve even joked that they could call it "boys' night" again.

Loki considered the note He had given her carefully. It asked for money so he could buy some clothes and get his hair cut. She doubted that was what he intended to use it for. She used the extra magic she had over the weekend to create a wardrobe for him, with input from Natasha, who knew more than a little about men's fashion. She also volunteered to provide the haircut, surprising Loki.

"You just want him at your mercy with a pair of scissors in your hand," she joked.

Natasha laughed, and didn't let on how right she had been.

When it came his time to reappear, Loki cursed at his own cunning. He had meant to spend the money on several things, including Natasha. Well, there went that plan. He changed into one of the new outfits, one which Natasha had specifically suggested: a charcoal grey shirt with rolled up sleeves, black jeans, and black suede shoes. He then made his way across the hall.

Natasha answered her door, eyeing him warily. "What?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "Hello to you, too, darling," he said sarcastically. "I believe you threatened to wield a pair of scissors on me?"

Her eyes narrowed, until she realized he meant the haircut. "Alright," she opened the door and jerked her head towards the kitchen. "Have a seat."

He pulled out a chair from the table and sat where he could see himself in the mirror over the sink as she went to the bathroom for supplies.

"How do you want it done?" she asked as she came back. She wrapped a towel around his shoulders and used a spray bottle to get his inky black locks wet.

Loki was momentarily distracted by the sensation of her fingers running through his hair. "Er... I usually have it trimmed at the collar."

He watched in the mirror as she nodded absentmindedly. "Looks like it just grew out from there."

He chuckled. "The Chitauri didn't seem big on the whole haircuts thing."

She met his eyes in the mirror, startled by his reminder of the past.

"Sorry. I make bad jokes when I'm nervous," he admitted.

This elicited a raised eyebrow from her, but she said nothing. Instead she began working, measuring out lengths of his hair and carefully snipping away. He watched her in the mirror, mesmerized. She added a few layers here and there, trying for something that would balance out his sharp cheekbones. She pulled some of it to the front, coming around to face him to check if the two sides were the same. Loki swallowed and resisted the urge to bite his lip as she afforded him an excellent view of her cleavage. He glanced up to see that her expression remained closed and professional—either she was too engrossed in what she was doing to notice or she had done it deliberately.

"There," she declared at last, standing up. "What do you think?" she took away the towel and went to grab a broom to sweep up the floor.

Loki stood, walking over to the mirror. He ran a hand through his hair, studying her work. He was surprised. It was rather shorter than he would have chosen, but it looked good. He could probably pass for human better this way. She came up behind him, folding her arms.

He nodded. "It's good. Thank you."

She nodded back, reaching out to brush away a stray bit of hair on his shirt. "We need to go to headquarters now, Fury wants to swear you in."

He turned, frowning. "Swear me in?"

She smiled a little. "Dr. Bryardie's idea, actually. Since we know when you lie, we know when your word is good. An oath should give us a little security."

Loki closed his eyes and clenched his fists. Would he ever be free of being manipulated? He sighed and opened them again, to see Natasha eyeing him warily, her feet in a ready stance. He deflated. "Alright then," he gestured towards the door. "Let's go."

She blinked, surprised he had given in. A moment before he had looked livid. "Okay," she said cautiously.

* * *

Loki looked down at the paper Fury had given him. "This is all?"

Fury nodded. "Just read it, to the camera. And mean it."

He glanced over at Agent Hill, who was manning a digital camera. He shrugged. "I, Loki Laufeyson," he amended. He was not going to read 'Odinson.' "Do hereby swear to be an ally of the SHIELD corporation and all of its agents. I will not enact or encourage any act of hostility toward the agency, nor will I willingly mislead them in my actions or words." He let the paper fall to the table, and looked to Fury.

He tossed him a pen. "Sign it," he ordered.

Loki clenched his teeth, but bent down and affixed his name and symbol to it.

"Good," Fury said when it was done. "There's a meeting on Tuesday I'd like you to attend, on behalf of Femme Loki. Agent Romanov can fill her in on the details, but I'd like you there anyway."

Loki nodded, hiding his surprise. "I'll be there."

Fury glared at him. "You had better be. Dismissed."

Loki recognized that Fury was trying to get a rise out of him, so he merely smiled pleasantly and left.

* * *

Loki sauntered into the room, smiling wryly at the faces around the table. Most of them were irritated. A few, including Clint and Natasha, didn't look surprised in the least. Well, he had been invited to this little party, he didn't see why he couldn't show up fashionably late. Not all the Avengers were present; the absence of Bruce and Thor indicated an assignment where brute strength would not help.

He took the last remaining seat next to Natasha. Not, he thought, a coincidence. In this form, she was about the only ally he had. Well, except perhaps Thor, but his other half had made things… uncomfortable between them. As he sat, they all continued staring at him.

"Well?" he asked, gesturing eloquently to Director Fury.

Fury glared at him a moment longer, then glanced down at the dossier before him. Loki silently gloated over winning the staring contest.

"Polish officials have contacted us about a little problem they are having." He swiped a hand over the info, and digital copies appeared in front of each of the team members. "It seems there is a serial killer, possibly a group of killers, preying on the illegal sex industry there."

As Fury elaborated, Loki flipped through the info. His ability to absorb information quickly was rivaled only by Tony, but he lost the race when he came to the photos. Sweet young girls, underfed and over-painted, cut up in nasty ways and left for dead. He resisted the urge to lick his lips, and felt a flash of pain from the ruby.  
Natasha glanced over at his intake of breath. She saw what he was looking at, and quickly returned her eyes to her own station. She squirmed uncomfortably, and Loki could not resist a smile.

"Agent Romanov has agreed to infiltrate the situation undercover. She'll be running this show, she's more familiar with the territory."

Loki bit his tongue on asking whether he meant the geography or the profession. Natasha would not like that.

"Clint," Natasha spoke up, "I'll need you in a chopper. The local police think they've identified the culprits," The image of three thuggish men, obviously brothers, came up at each station, "but they've had trouble following them. I'll need you to track them from the air."

Clint nodded.

Natasha turned to Steve. "Captain, I'll need you to follow on your bike, in case Clint loses sight. There are a lot of tunnels in the area, and that seems to be their usual tactic."

Steve pursed his lips and made a sound of acknowledgement. He looked a little sick; obviously the photos had affected him as well, although not in the same way.

"Next is the matter of who will be posing as my pimp," Natasha said with sly humor.

Everyone looked at Tony, who held his hands up. "Hey! I think I am just a little too high-profile for that. Never mind my upright morals." He winked at Clint, who rolled his eyes.

"You will be given a disguise," Nick Fury explained, but Tony was clearly having none of it.

"I volunteer," Loki spoke up before Tony could continue to protest.

There was a moment of silence where everyone stared at Loki. He leaned back in his chair, smiling. "I'm not high-profile, and I am a master of disguise. As an added bonus, I don't mind the implications on my character at all." He let his gaze slide over to Natasha, who closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Loki," Director Fury spoke up. "We were hoping that your… counterpart… could place some kind of tracing spell on Natasha to ensure we didn't lose her."

Loki lifted his eyebrows. "She could do that. But only She or I would be able to sense the trace. It makes more sense for me to be on the ground in this operation. I'm sure She would agree, and would be more than happy to cooperate."

It did make sense, and none of them seemed to like it.

"Nobody's questioning Femme Loki's loyalties," Tony offered quietly. "But why do _you _want in on this?" he was still Femme Loki's friend, but that didn't mean he trusted _him_.

Loki shrugged, smiling. "I lack a function here. Without my magic, I cannot work on the restoration project. This would give me… purpose."

"And who's to say you won't turn tail as soon as we get there?" Steve's station showed a map of Central Europe, clearly he was eyeing the distance between Poland and Latveria.

Loki's face turned serious, and he turned to study Natasha. "I assure you that as long as Agent Romanov's safety relies on my presence, I won't be going anywhere."

Natasha narrowed her eyes at Loki, angry at his implications. She tapped her nails against the glass table, and then sighed heavily. "He's right, it would work better if he or she were on the scene."

There was a collective mutter of disapproval around the table, and a vein began throbbing on Fury's forehead, but clearly no one could come up with a valid argument.

"All right," Fury finally said reluctantly. "Take him down to the armory and see if you can find something to suit him. But if I get one whiff of trouble," he leveled a finger at Loki, "you'll be in lockdown until you lie, understand?"

Loki raised his hands in a pacifying gesture, but the smile had not left his face.

"Dismissed," Fury ground out.

* * *

When Loki and Natasha entered the armory, there was one agent at the firing range and two sparring in the training area. One glance at him, and they quietly stowed their equipment and left. Once they had gone, Natasha turned to Loki.

"Before we do this, I need to know why you _really _want in on the mission," she demanded.

Loki began to examine the racks of weapons along the walls, everything from ancient swords to the modern energy weapons they had reverse engineered from the Destroyer and the Chitauri tech. "I believe I already explained myself," he said casually.

"Yes, and you did so very _carefully_," Natasha folded her arms, standing her ground.

Loki sighed, but turned to her, smiling. "One of these days, I will figure out how to trick you, little spider," he said affectionately.

She merely narrowed her eyes.

He shrugged. "Alright, then. It's like hunting." He gestured towards the older weapons, many of them intended for more practical purposes than warfare. "It has been many centuries since the average human has needed to hunt in order to feed himself, his mate, and his offspring. And yet," he laid a hand on a modern compound bow, painted in camouflage, "the instinct, the urge remains."

He turned to Natasha, something sparking deep in his green eyes. "I need to hunt, Natasha. Even if it is just sport."

Natasha swallowed thickly, remembering the way he had lingered over the crime scene photos. "Then why not prey on the innocent?"

Loki chuckled. "The innocent are so unsuspecting. True fear can only come with understanding. Besides, my powers have always been more effective on those with evil in their hearts. Innocence is… boring."

Natasha tilted her head to the side. "Is that why—" she closed her mouth on the end of her sentence, angry that the first half had escaped.

But Loki understood. He walked towards her slowly until he stood only a few inches from her. She stood her ground, as he knew she would. "Is that why I pursue you?" he asked.

She pressed her lips together, refusing to break his stare and concede ground. Unlike Fury, she knew the rules he played by.

He leaned even closer, until they were almost touching. "Yes, Natasha," his voice was low and soft, almost a whisper. "You and I, we know the darkness. You know how it feels to… embrace it."

Natasha's breathing began to quicken, but she held her ground a moment longer. She recalled their confrontation on the helicarrier. There was no glass between them this time, no cage to protect her, but fear was not her immediate response. He knew all her darkest secrets, and he _liked _them. Part of her was repulsed by this, the part that hated herself. The other part…

The tension between them was palpable, electric, and for the first time Natasha seriously considered his offer. When she found herself staring at his lips, twisted in a wry smile, she broke away. She walked over to one of the weapon cases, taking the short moment facing away from him to collect herself.

"I've seen your work with a spear," she said, her voice completely calm and professional. She took down a couple of naginata from the rack, and tossed one to him. "You're not bad."

He caught it, and assessed her for a moment. Once again, he was unsure how much he had affected her. For a moment it had seemed like he had finally caught her. But now he would never have guessed anything had happened. Which was the act?

* * *

_**A/N: **__Oh man, I have been wanting to post this chapter for FOREVER. Finally, we're getting to the good parts! ^.~_

_If you're wondering what Loki's hair looks like now, take a look at any of the interviews with Tom Hiddleston taken during the filming of the Avengers or Thor, while his hair is black. He wears it in a more relaxed, slightly shorter style. It's like that._

_I recently found out that I can change my username here on . I would like to change it to my real name, Maria Arnt, but I don't know if that would make things confusing for you guys. I'd like to hear your input on the issue. Also, any reviews on the story always make my day a little brighter!_

_Next, on Wednesday, some fun sparring and conversation between Loki and Natasha in "Weapon of Choice."_


	27. Weapon of Choice

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers. The theme song for today's chapter is "Bulletproof" by La Roux._

* * *

**Chapter 27: Weapon of Choice**

After half an hour of training with the naginata, Natasha was exhausted. She didn't think she had enjoyed that intense of a workout in a long time. "Okay," she huffed, out of breath, "I stand corrected. You know _exactly _what you're doing with a spear."

Loki smiled a little, twirling the naginata expertly. "You are fairly accomplished yourself, considering you can only have had what, a decade? Two, at most, to master it? I've had several centuries."

She glared at him a little, and eyed her spear. "Unfortunately this isn't what you would call a stealth weapon. Pretty difficult to conceal."

Loki examined his as well, running a hand down the shaft. "I don't know... I might be able to come up with something as long as She cooperates."

Natasha nodded, and took the spears back to their rack. "Still, it's a mid-range weapon, not very good for close-quarters or long range fighting."

He glanced around the room, assessing which weapons he was most familiar with. "Daggers," he suggested, spying a set of long knives. He picked one up, tossed it in the air to catch it by the blade. Taking a step back, he aligned himself with the open door to the firing range, and threw. At a distance of forty yards, the knife embedded itself in the paper target's neck.

She raised her eyebrows, impressed. "How about these? They're easier to conceal." she pulled open a drawer below the display of knives to reveal an array of small, sharp shapes.

"Shuriken?" he asked, remembering the term from a television show his counterpart had watched. He picked up a set shaped like small arrows with a circle in the middle, they were not unlike the small daggers he would once conjure in battle. "They should do." He attempted the same feat as before, but only hit the target's shoulder. He frowned.

"Not what you were aiming for?" she asked.

He twirled another between his fingers, thinking. "These are much lighter than what I am accustomed to."

She took one, examining it. "Carbon fiber," she judged. "Lighter, holds a decent edge, but won't show up on a metal detector."

"Hmm... I'll get used to it." He glanced around the room. There was a water fountain in the corner by the sparring mats. Setting down the Shuriken, he walked over and turned it on, watching the stream of water.

Natasha watched, frowning, as he held a hand under the arc. After a moment, his hand began to turn blue, and the water froze to it, accumulating into a spike of ice. She felt a knot of dread tighten in her stomach. "I thought you couldn't do magic," she said quietly.

He glanced up, surprised. "Hm? Oh, I can't." He lifted the hand, now encased in ice. "This is a natural ability of mine. A trick, learned from my long-lost cousins, as it were." He examined his hand. "Brittle, but sharp. It would do in a pinch."

_So that's what they mean by Frost Giant, _she thought. "What else can you do?" she asked, trying to sound more curious than wary.

He thought about it. "If I get a good grip on someone, severe frostbite in a matter of moments."

"That sounds... painful," she commented.

He held his hand back over the fountain, and it turned back to pink within the ice. He slid it out carefully, leaving the sharp casing to melt in the basin.

Natasha thought of something. "While you have some pretty impressive abilities, they take time to demonstrate. If you need immediate intimidation, you're going to have to use something familiar." She gestured for him to follow, and he complied, curious.

She led him into the firing range. The side walls were lined with an impressive array of firepower: sniper rifles, automatic weapons, even a few bows which he guessed to be Barton's. There was also a set of drawers, of which Natasha opened several. Inside were a variety of handguns, ranging from tiny one-shot pistols to a big, blocky piece with tag that read "Desert Eagle."

"If you want someone to stop in their tracks, pointing one of these at them will usually do the trick," she explained.

He ran his hand over the pieces, thinking. He spied a very small piece, and, curious, he picked it up. The bullets would have to be tiny. "This is intimidating?" he asked.

She smiled wryly. "Well, not that one." She took it from him, and opened one of the bottom drawers, which held various forms of ammunition. She chose a small metal tin, opening it to reveal six tiny pellets in a cushioning piece of foam. She loaded the gun carefully, and walked over to one of the firing lanes. She didn't take the time to aim, firing it in the general direction of the target.

It exploded in a ball of fire, startling him a little. She brought the gun back, smiling. "One of Tony's toys," she explained. "He calls it the Cricket."

Loki laughed. Seeing her inquisitive expression, he explained. "It's from a movie we watched. Really, Agent Romanov, you should watch more television."

She seemed to find this funny, but gestured back to the drawers. "Since you'll mostly be using it for show, I suggest you pick something you like the look of."

He closed the drawers of smaller pistols, and focused on the one which contained the Desert Eagle. "What are the specifications for these?" he asked.

She rattled off the list: "Desert Eagle .50 caliber, Smith & Wesson 500 Magnum, Colt 45-70 Peacemaker, Smith & Wesson 460 XVR, and the Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum revolver. Most of these will make lunch meat out of anyone they hit, because the rounds are so large."

Loki eyed the 460 XVR, it had a mean look to it, but picked up the .44 Magnum instead. It would be more practical if he needed to shoot without killing. He glanced up at Natasha, who was smiling.

"What?" he asked.

"Has Tony shown you _Dirty Harry_?" she asked. He shook his head. She sighed. "He has no respect for the classics, you know. Watch it some time." She gestured to the gun. "It suits you."

"How so?" he asked as she closed the drawer with the other pistols, and began looking through the bottom drawers for the appropriate ammunition.

"Well," she said thoughtfully. "It's not ridiculously huge like the others, but it can still pack a mean punch. Revolvers aren't terribly popular these days, they take longer to reload than ones that use magazines, like the Dezzy. So it's kind of old-fashioned."

He smiled a little. "Old School?" he asked.

She returned the smile. "You bet." She showed him how to load it, both one bullet at a time and with a special device that loaded all six chambers at once. Next she put on a set of noise-blocking headphones and safety goggles. There was another set there for him to use, but he ignored it. "It has quite a kick," she warned. "Try to keep your aim steady by pressing down as you fire. Don't let it jump out of your hand, either."

Loki nodded and then lined up his shot with both hands, like she had shown him. He took careful aim, and fired. The shot ended up towards the bottom of the target. He frowned and tried again, not pressing down as much this time. Now the shot was just a few inches to the left of the bullseye. He sighed, glanced over at Natasha, who looked encouraging. He pressed his lips into a thin line, and taking a far more casual stance he raised the gun with one hand and let off the remaining four rounds in quick succession. They left only one hole in the paper, right in the middle of the target.

Natasha let out a low whistle. "How'd you do that?" she asked as she took off the safety gear.

He opened the gun and reloaded it with ease. "You won't like it," he said at length.

She studied him. He looked uncertain, guilty. "Tell me," she insisted.

He sighed. "Barton," he said simply.

She blinked, remembering. _You take too long, Tasha. You're over-thinking it. You gotta just feel it, without thinking, and trust that your body knows what to do. _She swallowed. He was right, she didn't like it. But at least he was being honest with her. "How much do you remember, anyway?"

He looked to her, hesitant. "Everything. Everything about his past, everything about you..." he trailed off.

She raised an eyebrow. "_Everything _about me?"

Loki closed his eyes and swallowed. When he opened them again, they burned with a desire that she knew all too well. "Yes," he said hoarsely. "Everything."

So, she thought, he already knew what it felt like to hold her, to take her. All her little preferences, all the private moments she had shared with Clint, and he had stolen them.

"For what it's worth," he said softly, "I would rather have learned it from you, the hard way."

She fought hard against the rising tide of anger. _Gnev zastavlyayet vas nebrezhnyy,_ she remembered her mentor saying:_ anger makes you sloppy_. "You need to talk to him," she said instead.

Loki looked surprised. "She has been trying, you know. But he avoids the both of us, and he's very good at it."

She shrugged. "He's had a lot of practice," she reminded him.

He nodded.

"Have Jarvis help you," she suggested. She held out her hand, and he gave her the gun. She opened it, tipping out the rounds into her palm. "Go. You two need to figure out how this is going to work before it gets one of you killed."

He stared at her a moment. He wasn't terribly likely to die, so he knew what she meant. If there were any mistakes, any casualties on this mission, in her mind the blame would rest squarely on him.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I had way too much fun doing the research for this chapter lol. I would like to thank my husband and beta, Brian, for helping. He was pretty sad when Loki didn't pick the Desert Eagle, his favorite from his years in the Navy. But I just had to give him the .44 Magnum._

_Sorry this chapter is so short, I had to pick where to break a chapter and if I'd included the coming confrontation with Clint here, it would have made this chapter too long and the next one even shorter than this. So you'll just have to wait until Saturday to see._

_As I haven't heard any objections about changing my user name, I will be switching it to Maria Arnt. FF assures me this won't interfere with your update emails, but just in case, if you don't get a notification on Saturday, please check the story on Sunday. Thanks!_

_As always, reviews give me a happy._


	28. Confrontation

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers. The song for this chapter is "Inside Out" by Eve 6. Bit of a warning for foul language on this one—for some reason I just imagine Barton as a very cussy man._

* * *

**Chapter 28: Confrontation**

Loki waited, as silently as he could, for the archer to round the corner. He had spent much time-with the help of Jarvis—studying his quarry's movements. Barton was very much a creature of habit. Every day he would go down to the cafeteria, grab his evening meal, and take it off to some hidden corner to eat alone.

This was the only time of day when Barton could not be found with some kind of weapon in hand. Natasha told him that people had complained about him walking into the cafeteria fully armed, and so he made the effort to appear less threatening. Granted, he likely had as many tricks up his sleeve as she did, but Loki only needed a moment.

There! Loki could hear his footsteps, careless in an intentional sort of way—he didn't like to spook people, apparently—coming down the hallway. He came around the corner, and Loki shot out a hand, placing it on his chest and grabbing hold of his vest.

Clint reacted quickly, going for a knife, and paused at the last possible moment. "Jesus, Loki! What the fuck?" He was too surprised to be angry.

"Hello to you, too," Loki said flippantly. "We need to talk."

Clint rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." He turned to leave, but Loki still had a firm grip on his vest. He glared at the offending hand, then up at Loki. "Let go." Now he _was _angry.

"No." Loki said simply. "If I let go, you will leave. As I said, we need to speak."

Clint took a moment to assess the situation. Loki was, for all intents and purposes, a SHIELD agent. He could probably get away if he shoved the knife in his eye, but then there would so much paperwork... Loki wasn't worth that. "Why?" He ground out.

"If we are to work together, we need to have an understanding. Now, I don't care if you trust me, and I sure as Hel don't care if you like me. I don't like you either. But I respect you, and—"

Clint exploded. "You _respect _me? That's rich, coming from the guy who made me his remote-control bitch for a week."

"Look at me," Loki said quietly.

He ignored him. "I mean really, where do you get off? What makes you think you can just waltz in here—"

"Look. At. Me," he said louder.

"—and just pretend that nothing happened, and hit on my best girl, and—"

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU BARTON!" Loki shouted, shaking him hard.

Clint silenced, suddenly aware that the man he was dealing with was much, much stronger than him. Reluctantly, he looked Loki in the eye.

"Good. Now, what color are my eyes?" Loki asked seriously.

Clint gave him his best what-the-fuck look.

"What color, are my eyes?" he growled, pained that he even had to bring this up.

"I dunno, green?" Clint was still confused.

"Correct. And when you were my 'remote-control bitch' as you so eloquently put it, what color were they then?" Loki sounded like he was explaining this to a small child.

Clint blinked, thinking. He still had nightmares about Loki, whispering in his ear to kill Fury, Coulson... Natasha. His own face in a mirror, distorted and discolored, his eyes a strange, electric blue. Loki's eyes, boring into his soul, those creepy goddamn ice-blue eyes...

"Oh, Fuck," Clint said softly.

Loki released him. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

The archer stood stock-still as the realization washed over him. "Who was controlling you—us?"

He shook his head. "I know very little about him, but the chain does not end there. He had a master as well."

"Damn." Clint turned, staring out the window. "Look, man, if you want us to trust you, why don't you just tell everybody?"

Loki came to stand next to him, gazing out at the busy city. The sun was sinking behind the tall, glittering buildings, lighting up the sky with a vivid red-orange. "I didn't know, until recently."

Clint stole a glance at the deposed god beside him. "You thought you were in control."

Loki let out a shuddering breath. "Yes. It wasn't the same as you, no spear to my chest, no fighting every inch of the way. You under possession look like a saint next to me."

He snorted. "That doesn't take much."

Loki smiled. "Precisely. I don't want their pity, and I do not wish to pass the blame. I was seduced by the tesseract. It took control, but I went willingly, with arms wide open. By the time I realized the full implications of the plan, my pride and insecurity would not allow me to deviate from the path I had chosen. I would not be hanged by halves."

Clint nodded. "I hate it too. The way they just dismiss it all as your work. They won't tell me how many I killed."

Loki looked back at the city, and for a moment felt the same weight of responsibility that She embraced so fully. "I'm not sure the damage I have done can even be calculated. But I'm sure you can understand my desire to at least try to balance my ledger."

They looked at each other, and Clint smiled a little. "She's something else, isn't she?"

Loki returned the smile, adding a bit of a leer to it. "That she is."

Barton frowned. "You don't deserve her."

"No, I don't," he agreed quietly, surprising Clint. "But if we can't work together, it could get her killed. And we can't have that."

Clint sighed. "Alright, asshole. I've seen the vids. You can fight. I'll watch your back. But you step one inch out of line, and you'll find an arrow in it."

Loki nodded. "I would expect no less." And with that, he left.

* * *

Loki had plenty of time to prepare for the mission in Poland. The serial killers had a pattern, striking early each month. It was likely that they pooled their end-of-the month paycheck to pay for the unsuspecting girl. This meant that they would not try again until just after Femme Loki's week at the helm.

Poker night was an interesting experience. Thor seemed the most relaxed, happy that Loki was integrating well. For his part, Loki was careful not to take advantage of the other players. He made a fairly tidy sum, and then won and lost in roughly equal measures. Tony, who also carefully controlled how much money he won and lost—usually with an intentional net loss—noticed, and gave him a little reluctant respect for it.

Between training sessions with Natasha and sometimes, grudgingly, Clint, Loki found a little time to speak with Thor.

"Is SHIELD still offering Miss Foster a position here in New York?" he asked.

Thor gave him a wary look. "She has turned them down, but I believe Fury said that the offer was 'still on the table.' Why?"

"She should take it," Loki suggested. "It's a good job, and you would be able to see more of each other."

Thor continued to stare at him suspiciously.

"What? Why does everyone assume I wish to do her harm?" he demanded.

Thor shifted uncomfortably. "Well, the first person you went after when you arrived here was Selvig, and—"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Selvig was working with the Tesseract. Did I maybe encourage him to do so? Yes. Was I maybe tickled at the chance to jerk your chain? Yes. But these were all secondary benefits to a much larger plan."

Thor frowned. "When we fought, in Asgard, you said... You threatened..."

"Ah yes," Loki said, remembering. "To pay her a visit myself." He shrugged and sat down on the couch next to Thor. "I meant nothing by it. I was upset. Jealous, a little, although of whom I am not sure. I never meant to follow through, I said it only to anger you."

Thor chuckled a little. "Well, it worked."

Loki laughed too. "In all seriousness, though, I mean her no harm. As far as I am concerned, she is an ally."

Thor furrowed his brows. "Against?"

He looked away, scowling. "_Her_," he said darkly.

* * *

One day, while taking a break during training, Natasha asked him about it.

"Why do you suppose she's fallen in love with Thor anyway?" she mused.

He scoffed. "She's not in love with him, She's infatuated. Which is worse."

She looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"If she were in love, it wouldn't be half so bad. I could write her a letter, exposing all of Thor's flaws and worst attributes, painting a picture of how insufferable he would be."

"You would lie to her?"

He laughed. "Why lie when the truth does a better job? No, love is a lie. A lie to yourself, ignoring all the unpleasant things about the other person. To each other, pretending that there is some sort of mystical connection between you that will outlast any catastrophe." He spat out the words bitterly.

Natasha was surprised, although she quite agreed with him. "You seem to speak from experience," she guessed.

He glanced at her, sobered. "Experience is something I have in droves," he admitted, "Although very little on the subject of love. Infatuation, though," he smiled a little. "With that, I've had experiences even you can't imagine," he joked.

She rather doubted that. "How is it different?"

He shrugged. "It's a baser thing, a thing of instinct. It knows little of reason. Fortunately, once the thirst is slaked it usually abates."

"Well let's hope that doesn't happen," she joked.

Loki shuddered. "Indeed."

* * *

When Femme Loki returned, she found a lengthy note from Him, explaining the mission to Poland in detail. It also included a drawing, designs for a concealable naginata. She went straight to Natasha.

"Is this for real?" she asked, holding up the note as soon as Natasha answered the door.

She glanced at it, and nodded.

"You're seriously letting Him come on a mission with you?" she said incredulously.

Natasha folded her arms. "Sure. Do _you _want to pretend to be my pimp and then chase a car all over town on foot?"

Loki looked a little placated. "Still. You're letting Him carry a concealed weapon?"

She sighed and gestured for her to come into the apartment. "Loki, he _is _a concealed weapon. At least around water anyway. And so are you," Natasha pointed out.

She thought about that, biting her lip. "So what? You have no choice but to trust us?"

"Pretty much," Natasha agreed. "But you haven't given us any reason not to, and he seems to be playing along, at least." She took the note, studying the design, which she didn't quite understand. "What do you need to make this?"

Loki laughed a little, feeling the way her body buzzed with the extra magical energy she got from Him. "Nothing, at the moment." She held out her hands, frowned in concentration, and a black walking stick appeared above them. She caught it, and gave it a twirl. It had a large stainless steel ball-bearing at the head, and the body had faint swirls of matte and glossy lacquer.

"Nice pimp cane," Natasha commented sarcastically.

Loki grinned. "It does tricks, too." She twirled it again, and slammed the ball-bearing end on Natasha's kitchen floor. The ball popped into the body of the cane, triggering a spring-loaded device which shot a second half out the other end, complete with a thin blade at the end. "Tada! Concealable naginata."

Natasha was duly impressed. "That's... cool," she admitted.

Loki nodded. "Not too bad if I do say so myself." She gave the two halves a twist, and when she let go the smaller half shot back into the cane, pushing the ball-bearing back out.

Natasha chose not to comment on the fact that she had just taken credit for 'His' work. It was probably a good sign, anyway.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I have the worst time writing confrontations between Loki and Clint, I'm working on another one right now. Hopefully you guys like how it went—it's tricky to find that balance between them where they're willing to work together but still kind of hate each other._

_I am SUPER excited about the next chapter—it's one of my favorites! Stay tuned for "The Polish Job" on Wednesday._

_Oh yes, and reviews are the best thing ever._


	29. The Polish Job

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers, but man do they do some cool stuff in this chapter. I can't even pick a theme song for this, there's just too much going on. Credit goes to the ever awesome Wynn for the idea of the Helm of Awe (although the general concept is pretty familiar in BlackFrost fics). She is super awesome and you should read her fic, Remembrance of Things Past when you're not reading my stuff. ^.^_

* * *

**Chapter 29: The Polish Job**

"So how does this magical tracker thing work?" Natasha asked as she was putting on her makeup. They were in a run-down hotel in Krakow, making their final preparations for the mission.

"Here, give me your hand," Loki said. She took the offered arm, and pressed a finger against her wrist. A green symbol, which looked like a sharp-angled B, glowed there for a moment, and then disappeared. "If you're in trouble, just say my name, and it will activate."

Natasha looked surprised. "That's it? Are you sure he'll be able to sense it?"

She smiled sadly. "It's the simple version of a much more complex spell. It forges a connection between you and me, temporarily. He'll be able to sense it because it's linked directly to my... er, our essence."

"What does the more complicated version do?" she asked, examining the skin, which showed no signs of being different at all.

Loki turned away, pulling the clothes she would need to wear out of a duffel bag which also contained the revolver and a few other props. "It's called the Helm of Awe. It can activate automatically, when needed. Energy of various forms can be transferred between the two ends. And it's permanent."

Natasha laughed a little. "Well, I don't want _that _then," she joked.

Loki said nothing for a moment. "I'm going to go change clothes," she said as she headed to the bathroom.

Natasha finished prepping her short list of tricks, and checked her hair in the mirror. It always shocked her a little to see herself with light hair, she was used to wearing it red or black. She wasn't going to be able to hide much for this mission, only a garrote in the waistband of her shorts and a couple taser disks in her boots. She couldn't risk being discovered too soon.

Loki came back out, looking a little lost in the men's t-shirt and too-long jeans. She sat on the bed, looking distracted and a bit sad. Natasha caught sight of her expression in the mirror.

"You okay?" she asked, turning around.

Loki looked up at her slowly. "I don't want to do this," she said quietly.

She moved to offer a comforting hand, when Loki changed, grinning at her.

"She's _good_, isn't she?" he admitted. He now fit his clothes perfectly, and he began to lace up his boots.

Natasha frowned. Loki's expression before she changed had been genuine, she could tell that much. Which meant there was something else that was bothering her.

Loki shrugged on a black leather jacket. He hid the ruby under his shirt, and put a thick gold chain over it. The magnum was tucked into the back of his waistband, and he fished a package out of his bag. "Help me with this?" he asked.

She took the fake facial hair kit from him, and applied the scruffy goatee on his chin carefully. He touched it gingerly-he had never grown a beard-and peeked in the mirror. It made him look a little like Tony, he thought.

"What do you think?" He lifted his arms a little.

She nodded. "How about me?"

He made a gesture with his finger that she should turn around. She rolled her eyes, but complied. She wore a pair of very short shorts, thin tights with holes in them, stiletto boots, a scrap of fabric that could maybe be called a shirt, and a jacket two sizes too small.

"Here," he stood up, and took gentle hold of her chin. Using his thumb, he smeared the edge of her lipstick a little, and then smiled. "That's better."

She glanced in the mirror. Somehow it made her look much more tousled than before. "Thanks," she said awkwardly. "Shall we?" she asked.

He picked up his walking stick and twirled it. "The night awaits," he grinned cheekily and gestured eloquently towards the door.

"You are enjoying this way too much," she complained as she went to the door.

* * *

Natasha shivered where she stood under the streetlight, and took another drag on her cigarette. Summer was ending, and the nights were cold here. Her outfit wasn't really helping either. She glanced back at Loki, who leaned against the graffiti-strewn brick wall. He was scowling again.

"What?" she asked in Polish.

"What, what?" Loki raised an eyebrow, answering back in fluent Polish as well. It irked her to no end that he hadn't even needed to learn it, thanks to the gift of All-tongues that he and all the scions of Asgard enjoyed.

"You keep scowling at me. What's your problem?" She rubbed her hands on her arms, trying to warm them.

He toyed with the toothpick he was chewing on for a moment. "I don't like your hair blonde," he admitted at last.

Natasha blinked. It was possibly the last thing she expected him to say. "Why not? Aren't gentlemen supposed to prefer blondes?" she teased him.

He smiled at that a little. "Well it's no surprise I'm not a gentleman then, as I prefer redheads." He scuffed his foot on the cracked sidewalk, scowling again. "My wife was blonde."

Natasha's mouth fell open a little. "Your _wife_?" she said incredulously.

Loki looked up, amused at her shock. "Ex-wife, technically. The second one."

She finally gave up looking at him over her shoulder and turned to face him. "You've been married. Twice." She didn't sound as if she believed it.

He nodded. "It was an arranged marriage. Her name was Sigyn, and her father had performed some feat of heroism for Odin," he waved a hand dismissively, "I forget what."

"What happened?" she asked, not without sympathy.

"We suited ill," he said with a frown. "She petitioned Odin to be released from me."

Natasha frowned. "I didn't know a woman could divorce a man in Asgard," she said. It seemed too... forward-thinking for them.

He laughed darkly. "Only in special circumstances."

Now she was suspicious. "What kind of circumstances?"

He looked away, standing up and throwing away the toothpick. "It's not something I'm proud of," he muttered.

_Oh my god_... Natasha thought, feeling sick to her stomach. _Did he... beat her?_

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, she's married another, I hear, and quite happy."

"What happened to your first wife?" she asked with rising sense of dread.

He laughed, as if surprised. "Angerboda? Now, she and I were too well suited, I suppose. She betrayed me, and I cast her out. Later, through no fault of mine, she died." He smiled, the expression oddly incongruous with his words. "But at least I got Hela out of the deal."

"Hela?" Natasha asked, surprised by the fond tone of his voice.

Loki looked at her, smiling. "My daughter. Goddess of the dead."

At this point Natasha decided she didn't want to continue this conversation. Loki obviously had a long and complicated history, and right now she needed to focus on the mission. She turned back around to face the street, pulling her arms in tight to her body, projecting an image of easy vulnerability.

Loki watched her, chuckling to himself. He found it interesting that while the morbid tales of his two wives clearly unsettled her, it was his affection for his daughter which frightened her the most. Considering Hela, this was probably a smart reaction.

They stood there another forty-five minutes, various cars slowing down to pass by, some even making a few offers, but Loki scared them off with a few glares and an outrageous price. At last a car drove by slowly on the other side of the street, with three brutish men inside. They almost stopped, but then pressed on.

"Wasn't that them?" Loki asked.

"Yes," Natasha breathed. "Don't worry, they'll be back."

Loki grinned. "You seem very confident in your appeal. Rightly so, I must say."

She laughed. "I'm the only girl who looks like she's had a decent meal in the last month," she argued.

Sadly, Loki had to agree. The other girls he had seen on the way there were a depressing sight indeed. No question as to why they were on the street, they needed the money just to get some food. He frowned a little at how poorly these humans seemed to care for their own, and then winced as the ruby flashed below his shirt. Was he really any better?

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later the car returned. The man in the back seat got out to haggle with Loki, who stepped forward with a grin.

"How much?" the squat man asked.

To her surprise, Loki gave the exorbitant figure he had given to the other men, instead of the reasonable one he had been instructed to offer. The man listed another figure, far lower than either.

Loki just laughed. "I'm sure the three of you won't take more than an hour," he joked, "but that's a lot of work for my best girl here," he wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck possessively. "She should at least get time and a half."

The man suggested a price closer to what Loki was supposed to say. He looked like he would say no for a moment, and then gave in, taking the money. He goosed Natasha, and shoved her towards the man. "Off you go, then," he said cheerfully.

She glared back at him, throwing away her cigarette before getting into the car.

"I'll be waiting," he said, tapping his wrist subtly.

As the car pulled away, a motorcycle down the street started, and began following at a discrete distance. Steve nodded to Loki as he passed, and Loki ducked into the alley. He leapt against one wall and then the other before pulling himself up onto the roof. He too followed, as best he could. Above, he could faintly hear the sounds of a helicopter.

"Ready Barton?" he asked, putting a hand to his collar, where the microphone rested.

"If you are," Barton shot back.

It wasn't terribly difficult to follow the car over the rooftops, as he was free to take a more direct route than Steve. After a few minutes, though, he knew something was wrong. He felt a burning in his chest that could only mean that Natasha had already activated the rune.

* * *

Natasha cursed to herself. Almost immediately, she had known something was wrong. She could feel it. As soon as they turned the first corner, the man turned and grabbed her wrists, quickly binding them together with a zip tie. She could have easily attacked him still, but her orders were to stay put as long as possible, so the others could catch them. So she cried and pleaded with the men, playing the frightened girl to the nines. The man continued to tie her up, completely ignoring her protests. At some point, she realized that she was going to have to rely on her teammates to get out of this. This man knew what he was doing.

Before he gagged her, she managed to whisper Loki's name quietly. Then, she could only hope.

* * *

"Damn, I've lost them," Steve called over the radio. Barton cursed as well.

"Where do you think they're headed?" Loki asked him quickly.

"We have to cut them off before they go into the tunnel!" He shouted, making Loki wince. He looked out over the rooftops, and spotted a shortcut. He put everything he had into his flight, and managed to make it there a moment or two early. "Shit," he muttered, as he realized he would need some kind of magic to stop them.

"What?" Barton demanded.

"I won't get there fast enough," he lied, praying that his counterpart would know what to do.

Loki blinked down at the situation before her. She could feel her rune, on Natasha, coming closer, and spotted the car below. Vanishing the walking stick, she cast a spell quickly which allowed her to jump down to the street below. She pulled out the Magnum, and pointed at the oncoming vehicle.

"Stop the car!" She shouted in faltering Polish. It was not so easy for her.

Instead of stopping, the driver stepped on the accelerator. Loki barely had enough time to release a blast of energy, lifting her high enough to clear the roof of the car. She summoned a knife and drove it into the roof of the car as it passed, and then pressed herself down flat as it sped into the tunnel. When they exited, she stood, fighting for balance. She dismissed the knife, and with a twist of her hand, peeled back the roof of the car like the lid of a sardine can. Inside, she could see Natasha tied up, and the faces of the three shocked brothers.

She pointed the magnum down at them again. "I said, stop the car!" she demanded, using magic to make her voice louder and more intimidating.

The driver piled on the brakes, throwing Loki off. He swerved hard, and the car careened into the ditch to one side of the road. Loki floated down to the ground, and quickly cast a spell which froze the car and it's occupants before they could crash. She ran over to the car, cussing, and wrenched open the door. She released Natasha alone from the spell, and whipped out the knife again to cut her free, tucking the magnum into a pocket.

"Are you ok?" she asked, as soon as she took off the gag.

"Yeah," Natasha said, although she was obviously shaken.

"I've got her," Loki said into the radio, and she heard Barton cuss in relief.

"Good job, Loki," Steve said. "I'm on my way."

Loki started pulling the still-frozen men out of the car, and Natasha helped her secure them with their own zip-ties. Once they were all clear of the car and tied up, she ended the spell, allowing the car to slam into the rise of earth on the other side.

The men were obviously startled, and one of them, the man who had paid, started shouting at them in Polish.

"Shut the fuck up," Loki said in English, and swung the magnum against his face to emphasize her point.

"Whoa, Loki, calm down. It's ok, no need to get angry," Natasha said, shocked by her use of excessive force.

"I am NOT angry," she shouted, lifting her hand to strike again. Then Loki glowed, and paused, looking up at the gun in his hand. He stowed it in the waistband of his jeans, scowling. "Alright, obviously that's a lie, but I only just now remembered why." he paced back towards her, fuming.

Natasha tried to calm the shaking of her hands. An angry Loki was the last thing she needed right now. The only thing she could imagine worse was an angry Bruce. "Why?" she asked softly.

Loki glared at the hog-tied men, looking very much as if he wished his counterpart had not dismissed her dagger. He turned to face her, and she saw again the monster who had threatened her from the cage. "They, all of them, haven't the slightest idea what you are, do they?" he spat. "How can you tolerate it? How they value you so cheaply?"

Natasha stilled, shocked. He wasn't mad _at _her, he was angry _for _her. "They're serial killers, Loki, I really don't care what they think." Was this really about how little money they had offered?

Loki rolled his eyes viciously. "Not these swine," he kicked one of the men, but he seemed calmer. "SHIELD. How could they risk you like that? It sickens me."

Now she was even more confused. "It was a calculated risk. It's okay, it all worked out, okay," she tried to keep him calm.

"Only because She was there!" he shouted. "If it had been just me, you'd be on your way to-"

"Stop," Natasha took hold of his upper arms, stilling him. "It's ok. You can't think like that. It didn't happen."

He stared down at her, breathing hard. "Were I king, as I once was, I would give half my kingdom for you to grace my bed a single night," he whispered harshly.

She felt her heart, already beating hard, skip a beat painfully. How many times could he surprise her like this? "Only half?" she quipped back, humor her last line of defense.

At this, he smiled, relaxing and shaking off his anger. "Well, I need something to go back to in the morning," he reasoned.

The rumble of a motorcycle sounded from the tunnel, and Steve pulled up. "Okay, I'm out," he spoke into the radio, "Can you read me again?"

"Yes," Barton answered. His voice sounded strained.

Natasha and Loki had moved away from each other quickly at the first sign of Steve's arrival. He stopped the bike, dismounting and running to Natasha. "Are you ok?" he asked quickly, eyeing the wrecked car with alarm.

"Yeah," Natasha answered, "Loki got me out before it crashed. I'm gonna go sit down, though."

He nodded, and moved to stand guard over the killers with Loki.

When the local police arrived, Loki stayed to help translate for him. By the time they were done, and a car had come to pick them up, he turned to find that Natasha, knees pulled up tightly against her chest, was nearly unconscious. He sighed, and went over to pick her up.

"I don't-" she started to protest.

"Oh shut up," he said softly. "You barely weigh a thing."

She pressed her lips together and endured the short ride to the car. He made to buckle her seatbelt and she swatted at his hands. "No fussing," she warned sharply.

He frowned, but complied, taking the seat directly next to her, in the middle. He wrapped his arms around her, and she gave him an angry look, which he ignored. "Go to sleep," he said instead.

Despite her best efforts to defy him, she did.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Is it hubris if I squee at my own chapter? I just love this thing, it was one of the first ideas I had for the story, and I've been dying to get it out since I wrote it back in November._

_Concerning Loki's history: For this story, I have my own little head canon. I have built it off of a combination of the movies, the comic books, and traditional Norse mythology. I've had people tell me Loki's not a father (which I don't really get because he and Hela are always referring to each other as Father and Daughter in the comics) and other various corrections. I sincerely appreciate the constructive criticism, but in this case I reserve the right to produce my own character back stories. Hope that answers any questions this chapter might have brought up._

_I'm not used to writing action scenes, so please tell me what you think. I'm hoping it was exciting as I wanted it to be, it's one of those scenes I think would do better as a movie than a book._

_Up next on Saturday, you get to find out how much of that conversation Clint over heard, and how Natasha reacts to Loki's confession._


	30. Dreams of the Past

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers, but YOU guys seem to like what I do with them. I have gotten no less than 18 reviews since last Wednesday, which makes me feel so awesome. I was stuck on a difficult scene and you guys gave me the inspiration I needed to finish it! _

_The theme song for this chapter is "Love is Blindness" by U2. It has a nice dreamy quality to it that fits much of this chapter._

_I have gotten mixed reviews from my betas on this chapter. It seems like if you're not familiar with Hans Christian Anderson's "The Snow Queen" it's a little confusing, so you might want to look it up first._

* * *

**Chapter 30: Dreams of the Past**

They were driven directly to a jet, which Clint would fly back to New York. They all strapped in, and by the time they were in the air, Natasha had fallen fast asleep.

"How does she do that?" Loki wondered aloud, chafing at the uncomfortable harness.

Steve chuckled. "It's an old military habit. You learn to sleep whenever you can, wherever you can. I knew a field medic once, said he knew he was the real deal when he fell asleep on a pile of gravel and found it really comfy." He yawned. "I might do the same, to be honest."

Loki nodded, but inwardly groaned. That left Clint for company on the long ride back, since there was no way he could fall asleep like Steve and Natasha. After half an hour of silence, he sighed heavily, unbuckled his harness, and made his way up into the cockpit. Clint glanced at him warily as he sat in the copilot's seat.

"They're asleep," he explained, and they fell into a silence which was not entirely uncomfortable.

"I heard what you said," Clint said after a while.

"Hm?" Loki had been lost in thought.

"To Natasha. About SHIELD not valuing her," he explained.

Loki looked at him sidelong, wondering just how much of the conversation he had overheard.

"You're right, you know," Clint added. "The problem is, _she _doesn't see it that way. I never could convince her that she could be so much more than just someone's tool." He sighed.

Loki thought about that for a while. "Maybe she doesn't want to be something more," he mused.

Clint frowned at him, but listened.

"If you're just a tool, then you're not entirely responsible for your actions. Sure, you were the one to deliver the blow, but whoever gave the order is responsible, too."

"Natasha is more than willing to take responsibility for her actions-" Clint started, but Loki flapped a hand at him.

"No, you miss my meaning. Would you say that Natasha enjoys her work?"

He laughed. "Definitely."

Loki nodded. "And where she works, what she is, that is a good thing. But if she were to step outside of that, stop being someone's tool and act on her own motivations, then what? How would you define a woman who seduces and kills, not for her country or peace or even money, but just because she enjoys it?"

Clint swallowed. "The Black Widow."

He chuckled. "Precisely. As long as someone else spins the web, she is free to spring the trap without facing any consequences."

There was another long pause as Clint digested this information. They were now over the Atlantic Ocean, the dark mass of it spreading out beneath them as far as the eye could see. A few scattered clouds drifted past them, like shapeless ghosts. It was a moonless night, and Loki studied the stars, wondering which was Asgard.

"You know why I think you're such a creepy fuck?" Clint said suddenly, interrupting Loki's reverie.

He smiled. "Why?"

Clint scowled. "Because you _get _people. You understand people like I never will. And you _use _it, not to help them, like Dr. Bryardie, but just for shits and giggles."

Loki gave him an amused look. "_I _think that you understand people better than you give yourself credit for," he complimented him. With this, he stood and made his way to the back. He chose a seat on the side opposite Natasha, where he could watch her sleep.

When Natasha made it back to her apartment, she was too exhausted to do anything more than fall into bed. She had slept on the flight, but it wasn't what you would call deep, restful sleep. She had dreamed that she wandered alone in a vast, winter wasteland, but could not shake the feeling that she was being watched. She felt vulnerable, a black and red target against that expanse of white. So when she finally made it back to her own bed, she hoped to get a few hours of quality rest before she had to get up and face the strange tangle of her life.

She did not get what she wanted. She dreamed again that she was in the white expanse of snow, but this time she was not alone. She was riding a caribou, who ran swiftly over the land, the wind biting the skin of her face. She was small, bundled up in a warm fur coat, and she kept her eyes trained on the horizon, waiting to see something, she knew not what. Slowly, a thin spike became visible far away, widening until she could see that it was a tall, thin castle made of ice. As soon as she recognized it, she was suddenly at the door.  
Natasha remembered. She looked down to find the pink ballet slippers on her feet. She knew this story, had danced it long ago, in what seemed like another life. _The Snow Queen_. She pirouetted and leaped through the frozen halls of the palace, searching, searching. At last she came to a mighty hall, lined with pillars shaped like icicles. In the middle sat a small child, shivering and miserable as he played with a top made of ice.

"Kai!" she called, and the boy turned. She frowned. The boy in the dance was supposed to have brown hair and eyes. This one had black hair and green eyes.

"Gerda," he said, surprised, just as he should.

She rushed to the boy, hugging him, and felt that his skin was freezing.

"I'm so cold, Gerda," he said sadly.

She pulled away, but she could not remember what she was supposed to say. All of the lines had fled from her mind. Anna would be so angry! She glanced down at her hands, and they were covered with blood. So were her clothes. Nor were they the warm fur coat she had worn a moment before, but a magnificent dress, made of layer after layer of white dagged fabric, so thin and transparent that every gust of wind made it shift, looking like drifts of falling snow. She was not Gerda. She was the Snow Queen, and she was covered in blood.

She looked back to the little boy, and saw that the blood was his, that it was gushing from him in hot torrents. "Here," she said softly, pressing her hands to the wound in his chest. "You must make it stop. Use the cold. If you make it cold enough you won't feel anything at all."

Dazed, Kai placed his hands over the wound, too. They began to turn blue, all his skin did, the color spreading up his arms and onto his face. As it reached his eyes, they turned red, the angry red-orange of a burning flame, and she heard a piercing scream...

Natasha sat up in bed, breathing hard. In contrast to her dream, the room around her was sunlit and cheery. She cursed softly and flopped back on her bed. She lay there a moment, staring at the ceiling and thinking of the dream.

The Snow Queen had been her first leading role in ballet, when she played the role of Gerda. At the time, it had seemed her greatest achievement. By the time she had played the Snow Queen herself, she had already earned a better reputation as an assassin than as a dancer. It was clear to her on waking that the little boy, Kai, was Loki, although what the dream meant she hadn't the faintest idea.

She sighed and got up, going to the bathroom to find the supplies to dye her hair. As much as she would like to spite Loki by keeping it blonde, she didn't like it either. It made her remember too much.

She watched as the red dye swirled around the drain of the shower. Too many times it had not been dye, and this too made her remember.

_Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red... You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are part of you. And they will _never _go away._

She wondered, now, how much Loki had been speaking from experience. As she dried her hair, she made a decision. She needed to know more about Loki. She couldn't ask him, or even her, because he would assume that her curiosity indicated a different kind of interest. Which left just one person.

* * *

At the end of the week, she got her chance.

"Thor, could I speak to you a moment?"

Thor stopped in his tracks, turning to see who had called him. "Ah, Lady Romanov," he smiled at her. She stood in the doorway of an office room.

"Just Natasha is fine," she smiled kindly.

Thor shrugged a little. "Loki mentioned that you do not like to have your given name used..."

She looked down and back up, trying to suppress a smile. "That's with Loki," she said by way of explanation.

"Ah," Thor nodded. "What is it that you wish to speak of?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you some questions about Loki. Are you busy?" she asked.

He shook his head, smiling. "Jane and Darcy do not arrive for another three hours, and I have been searching for something to make them pass more quickly."

"Have a seat," she gestured into her office. She rarely used it, and there were almost no personal effects to be found, just a few framed photographs on the wall, landscapes and florals, which Clint had hung himself 'so the place didn't look so damn spartan,' as he put it.  
He sat in one of the modern leather chairs, and she took the other. "What is it you wish to know about my... er, sibling?" he asked.

"It's about his past," she clarified. "He mentioned some things, and didn't seem to want to elaborate."

Thor looked thoughtful. "Perhaps you should ask her? She's often more willing to discuss such things with me."

Natasha shook her head. "It's just... I don't want him to know I asked. He'll think it means I'm _interested _in him."

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you not?" he teased.

She laughed. "Not in that way, no."

He gave her a look that suggested he did not quite believe her, but did not press the issue. "Was there a specific part of his past you wanted to know about? The tale in its entirety would take many days to tell."

Natasha nodded. "He said that he had been married, twice. That his first wife had betrayed him, and the second one petitioned for divorce."

Thor looked melancholy. "Aye. Both tales are sad in the telling, I'm afraid."

She frowned. "Some of the things he said were a little concerning. I think I would feel better working with him if I knew the whole story." There was more to it than that, but she wouldn't say.

He sighed, and shook his head. "I am not sure that he would like me telling you this, but I know that you are not the kind to gossip idly. I trust in your discretion." He sat back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling, remembering.

"When he first married, it was in secret. Angerboda was a witch of some talent, but unknown by the court of Asgard. I believe they were much in love, or that at least that he was. I cannot guess as to her, I met her only twice and she seemed a formidable woman to say the least. When my father learned of it, he sent out his spies to see if they could learn her origins. By this time she had already given Loki a daughter, Hela, and he was perhaps the happiest I had ever seen him. But the child had begun to show signs of dangerous power, and Odin was concerned. It occurs to me now that, knowing Loki's true parentage, he worried what his offspring might be capable of.

"It was discovered that Angerboda was in fact Jotunn, and had disguised herself with magic. She had also hidden from him two other offspring, Fenrir, who she had turned into a wolf, and Jormungandr, who had changed to a snake. The sons she had kept for her own uses, giving him only their daughter. Odin shared this information with Loki, mostly out of concern as to what had been done with his sons.

"But Loki was outraged, and horrified to find that she was not Aesir, as he thought himself to be. He said..." here he trailed off, shaking his head. "He said many things to her that I imagine he now regrets, concerning her race. She was cast out, and his daughter Hela was sent to rule Hel, where the court of Asgard would be safe from her. He made no attempt to find his sons."

Natasha stared at the wall, thinking. If Loki had cast out his love, Angerboda, because she was a vile Frost Giant... only to later find that he, too, was of Jotunheim... "That... that's awful."

Thor nodded. "It is the worst of ironies."

She shook her head. "What about Sigyn? He made it sound as if... there were some problems..."

He shifted uneasily in his seat, and this made her worry more.

"Tell me the truth, Thor. Did he abuse her?"

Thor frowned. "Abuse?"

"Did he..." she found it suddenly hard to ask the question. "Did he beat her?"

He looked surprised, but only a little. "He hit her, yes. Once. But it was enough for her to plead release to Odin."

Natasha closed her eyes, her worst fears confirmed.

"In all fairness, I am not certain I would not have done the same in his place," he commiserated.

Her eyes shot open, scowling at him. "Don't give me that bullshit that she had it coming?" Really, he couldn't be _that _sexist.

"No. But she provoked him a-purpose. She had done so many times before, in the hopes of freeing herself from him. She had told lies, spreading wide the rumor that he beat her every night, although those closest to him knew it was not true, and she had no marks to prove it. He has a habit of..." Here Thor trailed off, regarding her dubiously.

"Thor, I'm not a maiden damsel," she said with an eyebrow lifted. "You're not going to shock me."

He smiled a little. "Loki has a taste for the sharper pleasures. More than a few young maids have been scared off by it, but there were always others who were drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. There was never a one who came begging her dowry from Odin."

Natasha tilted her head. "Begging her dowry?"

"If a man of Asgard takes a woman against her will, he is subject to severe punishment. If he is a commoner, he is beaten. Noblemen must make a public apology, much to their shame, and both high- and low-born are required to pay gold for the girl's dowry. We protect the virtue of our sisters and daughters, it does not happen often," he said proudly.

Natasha looked less than impressed. It all sounded rather barbaric to her. "What did Sigyn do?" she asked instead.

He sighed. "Many things, in total. But what the final straw was, I cannot say. He admitted to me later that he had been tired and drunk at the time. 'She begged me a boon,' he told me, 'and I could no longer deny it of her.' He regretted it much, although he was happy to be free of her."

She frowned. "Why didn't he ask for a divorce then? If such a thing is allowed."

He nodded. "It would have been as easy as asking for him. She had many lovers, and kept none of them a secret. But he would not dishonor her in such a way, even as she treated him. I also think he kept her a little out of spite."

She scoffed. "That sounds like him. And there were no others after that?"

Thor laughed, loud and long. "Odin's beard, no. There were many women, who came and went like the changing of the seasons, and often as quickly. But nothing serious. There have been some who have sought to woo him, but none have gained more than a broken heart for it, I'm afraid."

She nodded, remembering the nickname he had earned-Loki the Heartless.

Thor studied her as she thought. "Are you certain your interest in him lies not in this area? He won't come courting, but I suspect it would please him well to take you to bed," he teased.

She laughed. "What? A lowly mortal such as me?" she joked.

He looked somewhat less amused, and turned a little nostalgic. "I think mayhap my brother loves this realm almost as well as I. There were times when he would leave Asgard, and wander through Midgard, for years at a time, even. He told me once that it was only here that he truly felt like a god. Who can say how many mortal women fell for the charm of his silver tongue?"

Natasha was surprised. "Thank you, Thor."

He smiled. "Then you shall be more comfortable working in his company?" he asked.

She laughed. "Yes and no. Loki can be rather... persistent in his attentions."

He sighed and passed a hand over his face. "Strange to tell, but I know what you mean." He stood, "Well, I wish you the best of luck whatever you choose," he said, and took his leave.

She frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

* * *

_**A/N: **__A lot of the reviews came from a very thoughtful new guest who has left me a note every couple chapters—I want to say thank you to them._

_I hope this chapter answered any questions about Loki's history. Most of it is head canon, but there are roots in the mythology and the comic universe. I figure Loki has probably had a number of human lovers in his time, since in the comics he has at least one human daughter, Tessa Black, and he makes it sound like it's not an uncommon thing. Being a measly human woman myself, I admit I find the idea appealing lol._

_I'm still unsure about how much of Natasha's history to reveal—I'm not as familiar with her, except from the movie. I've been doing some research though, and there's a LOT of stuff to work with… I'll have to decide which elements I want to use… *rubs hands together*_

_Coming up on Wednesday, the return of Jane and Darcy, as well as some fun with Loki and Natasha in Chapter 31: Good Graces_


	31. Good Graces

_I don't own Loki and the Avengers. This chapter's theme song is "You're So Real" by Matchbox 20._

* * *

**Chapter 31: Good Graces**

Thor hesitated before the door. For all of Loki's assurances that he meant Jane no harm, he was still nervous. He looked down at her. It made him uncomfortable to put her in danger, even if that danger was imagined.

She smiled, understanding, and put a hand on his arm. "Don't worry so much. I'm sure it will be fine, and anyway, you're here to protect us."

"Yeah, man, just open the stupid door," Darcy rolled her eyes behind them.

With a sigh, he did, taking a few cautious steps in. "Loki?" he called.

After a moment Loki stepped out of his bedroom, made curious by Thor's cautious tone. He was dressed casually, in a green T-shirt and black jeans. Realization washed over his expression as he saw Jane half-hidden by Thor's bulk.

"Ah, Lady Jane," he came forward, smiling, and took her hand to kiss it briefly. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Jane looked amused. "Is it?"

He returned the expression. "Of course. And I would like to apologize for the behavior that my... counterpart has shown you."

Jane smiled, embarrassed. "Oh, it's okay..." she demurred.

"It most certainly is not. But as long as you are here, you make Thor happy. And whatever Her intentions, she is too good by half to ruin that. I suspect it will be the death of her," he joked.

She was surprised by his frank, open manner. Thor had led her to believe that Loki was not to be trusted. "We're friends then?" she asked.

Loki was momentarily taken aback, that she would so eagerly count him as a friend. He smoothed it over with a smile, spreading his open hands. "We are allies, which can be a good deal more effective."

Jane laughed, and moved past him, dragging a bemused Thor with her and clearing out the door for Darcy to step in.

"And Lady Darcy," Loki gave a more genuine smile. "I am certainly pleased to see you again, your presence makes these lovebirds far more tolerable."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not gonna kiss my hand?"

He laughed, but snatched up her hand and kissed it, his eyes sparkling.

Darcy was speechless for a moment, which was something of a shock even to her. "Are all the guys from Asgard this shmoozy?" she asked Thor as she came into the living room.

Thor laughed at her made-up word and sat on the couch. "No, Darcy. A family resemblance, perhaps."

Darcy looked between them. "Resemblance my butt. I don't know how you guys ever thought you were brothers, you don't look anything alike," she said as she came into the living room. "I mean, he's all tall, dark and broody," she gestured to Loki, "And you're the knight in shining armor with sunshine and puppies and shit," she joked.

They laughed, and Loki crossed his arms and gave her an appraising leer. "You like men who brood?" he asked, curious.

She laughed. "Thanks, but no thanks, I don't think I could ever date a guy who was prettier than me," she sniffed.

Jane grinned. "Darcy just wants a guy who will let her blab all day," she teased.

Loki pretended to think about that seriously. "Hmm, no, I don't think that would work. I suppose I prefer the brooding type as well," he played along.

"Especially red-headed spies?" Thor teased.

"Quite," Loki agreed. "Which reminds me, I'm afraid I must go, I have an engagement with said spy."

"Ooh, a date?" Darcy asked, flopping down on the couch next to Jane.

He chuckled darkly. "Rather too dysfunctional for that, I fear. We're sparring."

Darcy shrugged. "You get sweaty and out of breath and roll around on the floor, it's not that different." She grinned.

He lifted an eyebrow. "Well, when you put it that way..."

"Will you be back later?" Jane asked solicitously, trying to change the subject.

"Alas, no," he clasped his hands behind his back. "I am afraid we must be as ships passing in the night, for now. It is the end of my week, and it will be Her turn to keep you company," he apologized.

Jane gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, we'll see you in a week then."

"I shall look forward to it, Lady Jane, Lady Darcy," he sketched them each a quick bow, nodded to Thor, and then left.

Jane stared after him, surprise written on her face. "I think I like him," she admitted.

Darcy snorted, picking up the TV remote and turning it on. "I _know _I like him. He's funny." _And I don't feel like the third wheel when he's here, _she added silently, eyeing Thor and Jane warily. They had that look, like they were gonna make out. She sighed, and began flipping through the channels.

* * *

An hour later, Loki mused that despite Darcy's comparison, he might have enjoyed the sparring session more in his female form. Natasha took his superior strength as an excuse to not pull any of her punches. Or kicks. Or anything. It seemed that she was determined to show him _exactly _what she was capable of- and he had to admit he was impressed.

So it was that when she managed to get him into a triangle choke he took a moment to catch his breath. She wasn't quite strong enough to cut off his air supply, but he wasn't going to let her know it.

"What's wrong?" she said teasingly, "Don't know how to break it?"

"Hm? Oh, no, I just rather like it here," he joked back, out of breath. "In fact..." he reached around her thigh, his hand drifting dangerously close to...

Before he could blink, Natasha was on the other side of the mat. He glanced up to see that she looked _very _angry. "What? A good fighter uses _all _of the weapons at his disposal," he argued. For her to disagree would be highly hypocritical.

"Do you even _know _the definition of sexual harassment?" she demanded. He opened his mouth to reply but she continued on. "You should look it up, I'm pretty sure your picture's on the Wikipedia page." She stormed off to grab a towel.

Loki sat up, running a hand through his hair. "You wound me, Natasha. I merely thought that since the cat's out of the bag, as they say, I should pay you the respect of pursuing you in earnest."

Natasha sighed and sat down on a bench. That would certainly explain his behavior since the job in Poland. He had been solicitous and salacious by turns, and the unpredictability of his behavior made her head hurt. "Well then why can't you be more _conventional _about it?" she said, exasperated.

He laughed. "I am many things, little spider, but conventional is not one of them. What would you have me do? Buy you flowers and chocolates?"

She gave him a sarcastic glare. He looked so confident, sprawled out on the training mat, leaning back on his hands.

"How about poetry then? Shall I quote Shakespeare to you?" before she could object, he launched into a sonnet.

"_That time of year thou mayst in me behold _  
_When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang_  
_Upon those boughs which shake against the cold, _  
_Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang. _  
_In me thou seest the twilight of such day _  
_As after sunset fadeth in the west, _  
_Which by and by black night doth take away,_  
_Death's second self, that seals up all in rest. _  
_In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire _  
_That on the ashes of his youth doth lie, _  
_As the death-bed whereon it must expire _  
_Consumed with that which it was nourish'd by. _  
_ This thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong,_  
_ To love that well which thou must leave ere long._"

He recited the lines like an actor on the stage, his voice rising and falling in an entrancing rhythm.

She was silent for a few moments after, considering the words. "An odd choice for an immortal," she murmured.

He shrugged, and smiled sadly. "Just because I do not age does not mean I can't appreciate the beauty in the transience of this mortal world," he argued. "If anything, I appreciate it all the more, in contrast to myself and my... where I come from."

Natasha remembered what Thor had said about Loki's visits to Earth. She also noticed that he had almost referred to Asgard as his home. "I thought you said you couldn't memorize anything," she pointed out.

"Nothing complicated," he clarified, standing. "Sonnets are highly formulaic. If you know the format, it's not hard to remember specific permutations. Now, something like The Raven, where every stanza ends with the same word, that is now beyond my ability."

She smiled wryly "I should have known you'd like Poe."

He laughed a little and sat on the bench next to her. They were quiet a moment. "I am sorry," he said at last.

"Hm?" she frowned at him.

He looked pained, before turning his face away from her. "I should not have... touched you, without your permission."

She stared at him in disbelief so long that he turned back. He smiled self-depreciatingly. "Dr. Bryardie explained that I need to learn to respect boundaries. Especially with you."

"Why me?" she asked, suspicious.

Loki licked his lips, and for a brief moment he seemed very vulnerable to her. She was reminded of her dream, of Kai, the little frozen boy with a broken heart. But then a wall seemed to come up between them, and he laughed it off. "Because you are friends with Her, and it would be unkind of me to ruin that."

She wasn't completely convinced. She guessed there was another reason, one he didn't want her to know, but she didn't push.

"That reminds me," he sighed. "I should go."

She looked him over—the sparring session had clearly been a real workout for him. "Shouldn't you get cleaned up first?"

He laughed. "Oh, She can manage that much better than I," he glanced down at his hands, wishing for perhaps the thousandth time that he still had his magic.

"I have to admit, I'm impressed that you're even willing to share time with her," she said.

He smiled ruefully. "She has her uses, although I cannot imagine anyone I should like less running my life."

Natasha began to respond, but shut her mouth on the comment when Femme Loki appeared before her. She stood up looked around rapidly, alarmed.

"Where are we? The killers-" she stuttered, confused.

Natasha realized that the last moment Femme Loki would have remembered was in Poland. "Hey, it's okay," she took hold of Loki's arms to calm her. "We're in New York, and the serial killers are in prison in Poland."

Loki calmed down slowly. "I don't think we should switch during missions anymore," she said absently, looking down at herself. "Why am I all sweaty?" she plucked at the green T-shirt.

"Sparring," she explained. "He said you could take care of it."

Loki rolled her eyes and then swiped a hand over herself. She glowed faintly and then her clothes—now clean—fit much better. She felt her pockets until she found the note He had left her. It was three pages long. She sighed heavily and sat back down.

"I'm going to go clean up," Natasha said, leaving Loki to read.

When she came back, Loki was still scowling down at the note, with the walking stick she had made resting against the bench.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Loki sighed. "Jane is back," she explained, "And he says that if he has to behave around you, then I have to behave around her."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't exactly say he's been behaving," she argued.

She looked up, horrified. "What did he do?"

Her response made Natasha pause. It was true that Loki had been annoying, but compared to how he had once been, his actions had been fairly harmless. "Oh, nothing, really. Hitting on me, I guess, in his own twisted way."

Loki frowned. "Oh. Like what?"

She turned away, stowing her shower stuff in her gear bag. "He has personal space issues," she said, keeping her tone light. "But he apologized for it, so it's okay I guess." She glanced back to give her a reassuring smile.

Instead, Loki was once again taken aback. If anything, her eyes were wider. "He _apologized _to you?"

"Yeah...?" she tried not to sound too confused.

"Natasha, He doesn't apologize to _anybody_. Not for anything _He _does, anyway. Lots of apologizing for Thor, but seriously, did the words 'I'm sorry' actually leave his mouth? Because I think that's part of the whole starting Ragnarok thing he's supposed to do," she said incredulously.

She laughed. "What's with the stick?" she gestured to the concealed naginata.

Loki glanced at it. "Oh, I vanished it in Poland. Apparently I'm not supposed to vanish his things, since he can't access them." She rolled her eyes. "Hey listen, I was hoping we could maybe do something fun this weekend," she suggested.

"To get away from Jane?" Natasha teased.

She passed a hand through her hair, a gesture that reminded Natasha very much of the other Loki. "No, actually, I didn't even know she was coming back. It's just, I've been here for two months and I haven't really seen much of the city. I mean, aside from the bits I'm fixing," she laughed.

"Well, what kinds of things would you like to do?"

Loki shrugged. "I don't know, maybe go to an art museum, or a show or something, get some food somewhere, you know. Just hang out."

Natasha thought about it. If it had been the other Loki asking, it would have been an obvious ploy for a date. But with her... Maybe she was over-thinking it. "Okay, sure. I have Saturday off. We can go then."

"Great!" Loki grinned, and picking up the walking stick, made to leave.

Natasha watched her go with a small frown. Why couldn't she shake the feeling that this was, in fact, going to be a date?

* * *

_**A/N: **__First, a couple of credits. The "allies are more effective than friends" line is from the first episode of _Downton Abbey_, specifically Maggie Smith's character Violet. I love her. Secondly, the sexual-harassment-while-in-a-choke-hold idea is from _Miss Congeniality_. I could not resist using either here. The sonnet is Shakespeare's Sonnet 73, my favorite._

_For those of you who love Loki's dark aspect (and I am among them) do not fret that he's gone soft. I think the movie Thor demonstrates very well that Loki can be polite and friendly when it suits his purposes. It makes him unpredictable, which is always fun. He's a very layered character, and he plays a deep game. I promise as soon as he gets back he'll be up to no good again._

_But first, on Saturday, Natasha goes out with Femme Loki on what may or may not be a date in Chapter 32: Night on the Town._


	32. Night on the Town

_I don't own Loki or the Avengers. This chapter's theme song is "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson, which is sort of Femme Loki's theme song in my head._

* * *

**Chapter 32: Night on the Town**

On Saturday, Natasha found herself standing before the door of Thor and Loki's apartment. She sighed at her own hesitation. "This is not a date," she muttered to herself and knocked.

Thor answered, but before either of them could speak, Loki shouted "It's for me!" She hurried over and nudged a surprised Thor out of the way. "Hi," she grinned at Natasha.

Natasha's eyebrows shot up as she took in Loki's outfit: a form-fitting green sweater dress with grey leggings and black knee-high boots. She had changed the ruby necklace to match the one she wore in London, and now wore matching earrings. "Hi," she said absently. Did Loki think this was a date? No, she decided, it wasn't _that _much fancier than what she usually wore.

Suddenly, she felt a little self-conscious about the T-shirt, jeans and matching denim jacket she had worn. "Ready to go?" she asked, shrugging it off.

"Sure! Bye Thor," she said shortly, and closed the door on his very surprised expression.

As they made their way down the stairs-Loki still didn't like the elevator-a golden-brown jacket appeared on Loki's shoulders.

"Hey, no magic in public, ok?" Natasha reminded her.

"Oh, yeah. Okay."

When they got down to the parking lot, Natasha handed her a pair of small earpieces, much like the ones they used on missions. Loki gave her a questioning look.

"Something Tony whipped up," she explained, sticking her own into her ears and pulling her iPod out of her jacket pocket. When she pressed a button, music started playing for both of them.

Loki's face lit up. "I like it," she nodded her head to the beat.

"Diving teams use something similar, to help synchronize their internal clocks. I thought it might help," she explained.

"Help with what?" Loki asked.

In response, Natasha held out the keys to her motorcycle. Loki blinked at them a moment, and then looked back at her. "Really?" she asked quietly, as if she were afraid it might turn out to be a joke.

She laughed and tossed her the keys. "Yes, really. Now get your helmet on while nobody's looking." She picked her own up off the bike and put it on.

Loki, helmeted in the blink of an eye, hopped onto the bike and got it started. She backed it out of the stall a few paces, and Natasha got on behind, holding onto Loki's hips. She was a little worried how they would communicate, since she had no idea where they were going, but when she paused at the entrance to the apartment complex, Natasha nudged her to the right, indicating which way they should go.

In this subtle way Natasha directed them toward their unknown destination. Loki was exhilarated by the sensation of speed, the responsiveness of the bike. Natasha was, of course, a good riding partner, and helped Loki to know how much she needed to lean into the turns. At last they pulled into a parking garage, and Natasha turned off the music.

"That was incredible!" Loki said as soon as she got her helmet off. She set it down on the ground, looked to make sure they were alone, and vanished it.

Natasha grinned as she took her helmet off as well. "You did really well," she complimented. "Come on, the theater's only a block away from here."

"Theater?"

"Yeah, I thought you might like to see a movie without Tony talking your ear off," she joked.

"What kind of movie?" Loki asked as they made their way toward the stairwell.

"Well, that depends..." they discussed their options as they walked. By the time they reached the theater, an old-fashioned venue tucked away amongst taller, newer buildings, they had decided on a scary movie. It was that or a chick flick, so the choice was a bit obvious as neither of them really went in for that sort of thing.

Halfway through the movie, Natasha finally admitted to herself that it was, in fact, a date. At a particularly startling moment, Loki had jumped and grabbed her arm, and did not let go for a good half hour. She was a little surprised that Loki was so affected by the movie; scary movies never really got to Natasha, the gore was too fake and the plots all fairly predictable. She worried that maybe it had been a bad choice.

But afterward, Loki was ecstatic, chattering about her favorite parts as they made their way to Natasha's favorite Thai restaurant. It was there that Natasha realized what felt so off about the date. Loki read the entire menu, and then sheepishly asked if she had any suggestions.

"I'll order for both of us," Natasha reassured her.

"Oh good," Loki sounded very relieved. "And thank you for offering to pay for all this. My poker winnings have grown a bit slim since He isn't sharing."

That's when it struck her. She was the guy in this date. She had planned it, picked up Loki, provided transportation (although she didn't drive, at least) and paid for it. She had been on hundreds of dates-thousands, if she counted missions-and on every single one she had been cosseted, treated and shown off. It was kind of nice to be on the other end of it once.

As they ate, Natasha couldn't help but wonder what a date with the other Loki would be like. She was pretty sure there would be dancing, she doubted he would pass up such an obvious excuse to be in close, physical contact with her. But beyond that, she was unsure. Would he stick to the archaic pattern his society dictated? Or would he surprise her again?

"You're thinking about Him, aren't you?" Loki interrupted her train of thought.

"Sorry?" Natasha asked, unsure if she should be.

She sighed and shook her head, poking at her food. "Do you wish He was here instead?"

"No," she said, just firmly enough to be really convincing. "I'd rather not spend my night off playing complex mind-games thank you very much."

Loki smiled a little in spite of herself. "He can really be an ass sometimes, can't he?"

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "You would know better than me," she pointed out.

She frowned a little, but said nothing more on the subject.

* * *

As they were walking back to the parking garage, Loki regaled her with tales from her past.

"...and so then I said, 'give us a kiss!' and he burst out laughing!" she giggled, and Natasha found it infectious.

"Did he really call you 'cow?' I can't imagine Thor being rude," she asked.

Loki rolled her eyes. "Oh, that just shows that you don't know him very well. He can be quite rude when he wants to. But yes, he did, although it's not such an insult when you're not..." she glanced down at herself, "you know."

Natasha nodded. "I guess not," she started to say something else when she froze. There was a figure in the alleyway ahead of them, and she had seen someone lurking in the one they had just past. _Ambush_, she thought. She continued on, though, waiting for them to make the first move. Loki seemed to sense her hesitation, and glanced at the alleyway furtively. A look of recognition sparked her expression briefly, and then she resumed chattering as if nothing had happened.

Suddenly the man jumped out of the alley. Glancing behind, they saw the other man emerge as well. Loki clutched Natasha's arm as she had in the movie, but not tightly, and she could tell it was only for show.

"Now ladies, there's no need to be frightened. Just hand over your things and you're free to go. Honor amongst thieves, you know." He grinned cockily.

Loki returned the grin, and on her it was altogether more terrifying. "Oh yes, I know all about that," she said, and raised her hands ominously.

Natasha grabbed her wrist. "Remember what I said?" she hissed through clenched teeth.

Loki pouted at Natasha. "Oh come on, please? Just a little? They have it coming you know, and they won't remember it anyway," she whined.

The two men gave each other a nervous look.

Natasha noticed, and let a sly and dangerous smile cross her own expression. "Well... okay, but only a little. Don't turn them into anything... unnatural."

"Of course not," Loki said politely, and the space between her hands began to glow.

The eyes of the man in front of them grew large in the green light, and the one behind them cried out and began to run away. Suddenly they both stilled, and the far man came back in a slow, shuffling pace. They stood side-by-side, and regarded Loki with blank stares.

"Now," Loki tapped her lips thoughtfully. "I should really like to do something nasty, but since you asked," she glanced over at Natasha, who watched the scene with a carefully empty expression. Loki sighed. "Repeat after me. It is not nice to take what isn't yours," she instructed.

"It is not nice to take what isn't yours," they intoned dully.

"And you shouldn't scare girls for fun,"

"And we shouldn't scare girls for fun," they repeated in unison.

Loki thought a moment. "You want to go home and re-think your lives."

"We want to go home and re-think our lives."

She smiled. "Good!" She snapped her fingers, and they seemed to come out of whatever trance they had been in. "Off you go, then."

They looked at her and their surroundings as if very confused, and then hurriedly ran off.

Loki looked to Natasha, who raised an eyebrow. "Star Wars?"

She returned the expression perfectly. "The Lord of the Rings?"

Natasha pressed her lips together. "I didn't know you could do that sort of thing without the spear," she said instead.

Loki frowned a little. "The spear made it easier, I can't hold it very long or at a distance. But I'm not usually that obvious about it." She thought about it a little more. "I was never terribly comfortable with it, actually, but it seemed the right thing to do."

"I suppose," Natasha admitted at length. "We can't change what you are, but as long as you're 'using your powers for good' as Steve puts it, it should be alright."

"Good," Loki smiled, and hooked her arm into Natasha's as they set off for the parking garage again.

Natasha frowned to herself. She had started to enjoy her role this evening, and had looked forward to coming to the rescue and beating the thugs up. But Loki was right, it was a better option than leaving them bruised and bloody. And she was an idiot if she thought Loki would ever need rescuing.

* * *

The next morning, Loki slept in late. She had been showing off to Natasha somewhat, and it had used up the last of the extra reserves from Him, which she had taken to carefully doling out through the week. When she emerged from her room, she was surprised to find Thor alone, sitting on the couch and reading a newspaper.

"Hey," she said by way of greeting.

"Good morning," Thor said cheerfully. "How was your date with Natasha?"

Loki laughed. "It wasn't a _date _silly. Natasha's... well..." she frowned at Thor's skeptical expression. "Well it wasn't. Are Jane and Darcy coming over today?"

"Not until later," he explained. "Jane is getting a tour of her new workplace before she starts tomorrow, and Darcy is shopping with Lady Potts."

She frowned as she spread butter on a bagel. "Pepper?"

He nodded. "Yes, Darcy has agreed to work as her 'Personal Assistant,' from what I can gather it involves a lot of shopping and talking," he explained.

She flopped down on the couch next to him. "Well that should make her happy."

Thor laughed. "Indeed."

Loki sighed as she took a bite of her bagel. "Alone at last," she joked.

His smile disappeared.

"What?"

"It's just..." he looked uncomfortable. "The last time you said that..."

Loki blinked, and then rolled her eyes. "I forgot. Forget it."

He didn't look as if he believed her.

"What? I'm not allowed to want to spend time with you at all?" She pouted jokingly.

"No, it's only..."

"Look, I promise to behave in a sisterly manner towards you, alright?" she offered, taking another bite.

Thor thought about that. Obviously, if she had been lying, she would no longer be there. Then he thought of something, smiling a little. "For how long?"

For a moment, Loki pretended innocence, but a grin crept into her expression. "You know me far too well. For today. Then you'll have Him to contend with, which is another challenge altogether."

He chuckled. "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about."

Now it was Loki's turn to look as though she didn't believe him.

"You know, I seem to recall you as being the soul of politeness and tact for many a century. Just because you got in a bad temper for a year doesn't mean that you're suddenly an awful person," Thor argued.

She frowned, and finished off the bagel. "Thor, you have always thought far too highly of me," she said sadly. "What happened wasn't really a change... I... He... We, whatever, always had a lot more going on behind the scenes than you were aware of. It was really more just taking off the mask that hid it all."

He frowned. "I don't believe that. I think you were influenced, somehow. Anyway, He's been very polite to Jane, and aside from pestering Natasha a little, quite nice to the rest of the team as well."

She mirrored his expression for a different reason. "Well if He has, then He's done it for a reason. He's up to something, whether you know it or not."

Thor shook his head and smiled, not taking her seriously for a moment.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Please forgive me for the goofiness in this chapter. As I have said before, I simply cannot take myself seriously all the time. However, I promise that things are about to turn deadly serious, and you will all see precisely what Loki is 'up to.' _

_So tune in on Wednesday for some naughty shenanigans, in "Nothing is for Free."_

_Also, brownie points to anyone who knows where the scene Loki is retelling to Natasha in the alley before they're ambushed comes from! As always, reviews are my absolute favorite thing._


	33. Nothing is for Free

_Ok, by now I think you guys know the drill. I don't own these characters (except Rowena) so I'm going to stop posting at the beginning of each chapter._

_This chapter is a little… *ahem* naughty. Case in point, the theme song is "I Get Off," by Halestorm, which was largely the inspiration. So just warning you, we're getting to the point where I earn that M rating._

* * *

**Chapter 33: Nothing is for Free**

When Loki returned, it was with a scowl on his face. Of course he was up to something, when was he not? Thank the Norns She had only said something to Thor who would, as always, suspect nothing.

But he would have to be more careful from here on. He had been cooperative because it suited him to do so-cooperation earned him privileges and a modicum of trust from SHIELD, which he needed. Especially from Natasha...

* * *

Loki glanced at the clock one last time. Poker night had given him precisely the opportunity he needed. Now it was time to take advantage of his neat little alibi. "Well gentlemen, as much fun as it's been I think I'll turn in now."

"Aw man, really?" Tony was busy raking in his chips—Loki had let him win tonight. "It's not even midnight yet."

"Yeah," Bruce was frowning down at his modest pot. "You're worse than Natasha," he said.

Loki swallowed and took a deep breath very slowly. Natasha's voice came to mind – _Bluffing isn't lying. Change the subject. Don't answer. Give an elusive answer, like maybe. Lie with your face but not your words._

"I thought you didn't need to sleep as much as your human form," Steve frowned. "And she is quite the night-owl."

_Say something funny quickly, Loki_. "Well," he smiled self-deprecatingly, "unlike her, I actually need my beauty sleep."

That got a round of chuckles from the table, and they let Loki go without further fuss. Once he was in his room, he let out a long breath he hadn't known he was holding. _That was more difficult than I anticipated…._He glanced over across the courtyard. The two living rooms were lit up, but all the bedrooms were still dark. Good.

He walked over to the curtains, and disengaged the automatic motor that opened and closed them. He drew them together until there was only the slightest gap between them. Then he shut off the light in his room. He glanced at the clock—11:59—and felt his pulse race a little. He stood at the curtain and peered out the tiny crack.

As he watched, the light came on in the bedroom across from him, and the accompanying living room light turned off. He licked his lips. _Showtime…_

* * *

Natasha sighed heavily. _Another day done_, she thought. She did a quick sweep looking out her window. The lights were still on in Thor's living room, but she could only tell from it shining down on the courtyard. From this angle, she couldn't see more than a foot of the wall of the room. They were probably still playing poker anyway. She glanced at Loki's room, but the lights were out and his curtains were closed. He was probably cheating them out of a month's worth of pay. She smiled a little.

Maybe it was paranoia, but she never liked closing her curtains. It made her feel shut in. Even if she was surrounded by her friends and co-workers in this place, she always felt open to attack. Besides, what did she have that the world had not already seen? Okay, maybe she was also just a teensy bit of an exhibitionist too, but with as little action as she'd seen lately, it was about the only thrill she could get.

Well, almost the only thrill. Unbidden, the image of Loki's dangerous smile came into her mind, along with his threat—or was it a promise? _Oh Natasha, I don't need my magic to make you kneel…_. Natasha swallowed, and let her mind wander down that path—in a strictly professional way, of course, as she began undressing.

_What kind of lover would Loki be? _From their discussion of Dr. Bryardie, her initial assessment of him as a straight-up sadist seemed fairly accurate. But Thor had also said that he'd never really felt much for most of the girls he took to bed. How would that change if he cared for the person at the end of the rope? Would it temper his violent desires?

She had experience with sadists, of course. There had been several times when she was unsure if she was being tortured for information or just for fun. They seemed to understand pain much better than the brutal ones. Too much, and your brain just ignores it. Just the right amount though, spread out over a long enough time, and it became your whole world.

She shuddered as she tossed her shirt into the laundry hamper and began removing all the various knives and tools from hidden pockets in her pants. She didn't like pain, plain and simple. But she had to admit there was a certain amount of fun in being tied up, in the challenge of trying to break free. So many people—men and women alike—had underestimated how much she could accomplish without the use of her hands. Somehow, she didn't think Loki was ever going to underestimate her again.

She sighed as she tossed the last of her clothes over to her hamper, and ran her hands down her body. It was an old habit, to check for injuries or anything left on her. But tonight, it was something else, and she realized that her line of thought had her significantly turned on. She had fooled herself into thinking she was assessing Loki in purely professional terms. An image invaded her mind, of Loki watching her with that smirk of his, as she tried to free herself from a web of his creation.

A shiver passed down her spine and goose bumps rose on her exposed skin as the sensation of being watched intensified. She glanced back out the window, but everything was the same as it had been before. The light was on in Thor's living room, and all the others were off. Loki's curtains were closed—

_Goddammit, Natasha, that was sloppy! _she thought to herself. Loki's curtains were _not _closed, not all the way. There was the very slightest gap between them, and a sliver of darkness beyond. It was more than enough for covert surveillance, and she should have seen it at first glance. She looked away casually, making it look as if she hadn't noticed. Was he there, _watching her_? She allowed another glance at the curtains, and saw them stir just the slightest bit.

_He was! _"Why that…" she muttered under her breath, but paused a moment. As much as Loki loved mischief, this didn't seem like a prank. If he had wanted to embarrass her, he could have left the curtains open and just smirked at her. No, he wanted her to think that he was still with the boys, playing poker, and had not taken the time to notice that she went to bed at the same time every night, that she never closed her curtains.

Natasha felt for a moment that she should feel angry, that her privacy had been violated in a place where she thought she was safe. But strangely she couldn't muster up the expected emotion. Hadn't she just mused that maybe she wanted someone to watch? _Fine then. He wants a show? I'll give him a show._

Still acting as though she had not noticed his observation, she sauntered over to her dresser. She had planned to wear some comfortable sweats to bed, as she usually did, but instead she pulled out one of the more provocative pieces she kept at home. It was a short, black, lacy babydoll, cut on the bias to cling to her curves. The material was nearly sheer, and the bra was entirely composed of loosely woven lace, allowing little peeks of the pink below. She grinned. He liked black. _I should get something green… or would that give me away? Hmm… how about a little mood lighting? _She turned on her bedside lamp, with its red shade, and turned the room light off. She ran her hands through her hair, and flopped down on the bed in a pose that looked effortless.

_Hmm… what now? _She glanced around, and noticed the book on her bedside table. It was a racy novel that Femme Loki had recommended to her, which she had never gotten around to reading. She grabbed it, and stretched out on the bed, piling her pillows up behind her. She flipped through the book, skimming for a good scene. She found one, and began reading, biting her lip as the action started to get heated. After a few minutes of toying with the ribbon bow nestled between her breasts, she began to let her hand wander lower… and lower….

* * *

Loki gripped the curtains hard, afraid he might tear them out. His shallow breath came quickly, and his heart was pounding. _What did she think she was doing? _He had seen her glance at his window, just a moment too long. She _knew _he was watching, and she did _this_? Once again, she had beaten him at his own game. A low growl rose in his throat, and he slammed the curtains shut.

He walked stiffly to his bed, and collapsed onto it. He groaned. He was so hard it hurt, but he had no wish to follow her lead. He pulled a pillow to himself, crushing it against his front just as he wished to hold her. He was torturing himself, and she was only making it worse. He was angry, angry at himself and a little bit at her, too. _What is it that Tony said? _He thought wryly. _"Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge…"_

* * *

_**A/N: **__*giggles maniacally* What do you guys think? We're definitely headed in the direction of more sexiness… just a few chapters away from 'the big one' as it were. I was literally so excited about posting this chapter that I couldn't sleep and got up at 6:45 so I could post it before work. _

_Sorry this chapter is so short, Saturday's is nice and long with a lot of song lyrics: "All is Fair."_

_Reviews are what make me so excited about posting this story… I really can't wait to hear what you guys think!_

**There appears to be some kind of technical difficulties going on with the site, I posted chapter 34 this morning, and it appears in all of my information, but it won't let anyone (including me) view it. I apologize for the delay, and hopefully it will get sorted out soon.**


	34. All is Fair

_Apologies for the weird technical difficulties... I have no idea why FF wasn't letting people view this chapter. Obviously if you're reading this the problem has been fixed. _

_This chapter has no official theme song, because there are several songs within it. There's a full list at the end of the chapter. So fire up Youtube, or if you're on Spotify you can search for BlackFrost and find my playlist that has all of these songs and many more!_

* * *

**Chapter 34: All is fair…**

Loki stared down at the note her other self had left her.

_To my closest friend,_

She rolled her eyes at the sarcasm.

_I have just come up with a fabulous prank to play on our good friend Natasha. Perfectly harmless—just a little revenge for a prank she pulled on me. However, it does require magic. Everything you need is already on your iPod._

Loki frowned down at the list of songs, trying to figure out what ulterior motives her other self might have. It looked pretty harmless, just a bit embarrassing for Natasha. It was a good prank, she had to admit. She was still the god-goddess?-of mischief, and it was so very long since she had been allowed to have any fun. She supposed she could give it a try.

* * *

Natasha was typing up a report in her living room when a phone began to ring. It startled her a little, because she was alone and it wasn't her ringtone.

_How dare you say that my behavior's unacceptable?_  
_So condescending, unnecessarily critical_  
_You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone,_  
_Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I am walking on!_

Natasha frowned. Who the hell would set that as their ringtone? She began searching for the phone as the chorus kicked in.

_…And like a little girl cries in the face of the monster that lives in her dreams_  
_Is there anyone out there, 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe…_

Finally Natasha located the phone—in her jacket pocket. Before she could think to answer it, the call stopped. She quickly unlocked it—the code worked, so it must be her phone—and saw she had a missed call from Fury. She dialed him back quickly and apologized for missing the call. He asked her to head over to Stark Tower for a meeting, and she grabbed her things and went out the door. As she went down the elevator, she checked to make sure her ring tone was set back to the correct discreet beep she liked.

As she drove her motorcycle down the street, the song she was listening to was interrupted by another.

_My lips are pale and vicious,_  
_You're foaming at the mouth._  
_You've suffered in the darkness,_  
_I'll suck the pain right out._  
_So come and taste the reason_  
_I'm nothing like the rest:_  
_I'll kiss you in a way you'll never forget about me._

_That chick can eat her heart out!_  
_Love bites… but so do I! So do I…_

Natasha was jerked out of listening to the unfamiliar song, realizing that it was actually her phone ringing. She pushed the button on her handle to answer it.

"Hello?" she spoke into her helmet.

"Hey, it's Clint. Did you get the message from Fury? He said he was having trouble reaching you."

"Yeah, I'm on my way there. My phone is acting weird, don't worry about it."

"Kay. See ya there." He hung up.

Natasha forced herself to focus on the road. She could figure this out later, when she wasn't weaving through traffic at high speeds. Once she got to Stark Tower, she had Jarvis connect her to Tony via voice as she rode up in the elevator.

"Hey Tony," she said as an overture, "Weren't you just bugging me the other day to try your latest phone?"

"Yeah…" Tony drawled slowly. "Why?"

"Mine is acting weird. Can you download the contacts from the database into a new one and link it to my number?"

"Sure, I'll bring it to the meeting."

"Good. And make sure it's set to vibrate."

"Whatever lifts your skirt," Tony said in a lecherous voice.

She rolled her eyes, ending the conversation.

When she got to the conference room, Tony was already there. He tossed her a sleek new phone. It was small and thin, but she saw that if you pulled on the right half, it expanded to a wider screen. "Thanks," she said shortly, and sat down.

The conference was nothing out of the ordinary, just an update on what was going on with various parties they were tracking. Natasha was starting to get bored, Clint was reporting on a mission he had seen to solo, which he had already told her about. Then her phone rang. It vibrated, but it also began piping a song loudly out into the room:

_I can't fake it my love,_  
_I need filling come on,_  
_I need it louder than bombs_

_Come to me_  
_Plug it in, so I can digest you_  
_I will taste you (Ooh ooh)_

Natasha thought there was nothing that could make her blush anymore, but she felt her cheeks heat up at the range of expressions on her male comrades. She grabbed the phone and looked—it was only a courtesy call from her dry cleaner, but she opened the ringtone settings to see what it was: "Taste You" by Auf der Maur. Where had she heard that name before?

She glared at Tony, who threw his hands up in the air. "Not even I am that good!" he protested.

Fury was scowling. "Is there a problem here?"

Natasha met him scowl for scowl. "Someone is hacking my number. I had Tony get me a new phone because the old one played two other songs. Who is doing this?"

Fury got up from the table, "I'll go down to security, see if they can trace it. Keep calling her so it reactivates." He left.

Tony whipped out his phone, the same model, and hit her speed dial number.

_The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true_  
_Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for_

_Black velvet and that little boy's smile_  
_Black velvet with that slow southern style_  
_A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees_  
_Black velvet if you please…_

Natasha frowned. _A new religion that will bring you to your knees? _That sounded familiar… "The songs, they're clues," she said. "Call me again."

Tony hit redial, and this time they were greeted by a drum beat, followed by a twangy bass guitar.

_Very superstitious… writings on the wall_  
_Very superstitious… ladder's 'bout to fall_

"Wait…" Natasha frowned. She wouldn't… "I don't think it's hacking. Call Steve."

Tony raised his eyebrows and complied, and as Steve took out his phone it rang like an old fashioned wall-mount telephone. "That's the correct ring tone," he said, looking a little sheepish.

"Now hand it to me." She held out her hand, and Steve passed her the phone. She looked to Tony, and he hit redial again.

A jazzy beat and a blues guitar played a short intro.

_I put a spell on you… because you're mine._  
_You better stop the things that you doin',_  
_You better watch out, I ain't lyin'._

_I ain't gonna take none of your foolin' around,_  
_And I ain't gonna take none of your puttin' me down._  
_I put a spell on you… Babe, because you're mine._

Natasha looked up from Steve's phone, a furious look on her face. "Where is Loki?" she asked very quietly.

"She's in the lab, down the hall and to the left," Clint answered quickly.

Natasha stood, grabbed her own phone, and walked very, very calmly out of the room. "LOKI!" She shouted, and they all jumped.

Natasha stormed into the room, phone in hand. Loki did her best to look innocent. "What?"

"What the hell is the meaning of this?" She demanded, throwing the phone down on the counter in front of her.

Loki gave up pretending. "Whoa, whoa, Natasha. It was supposed to be a joke. Calm down."

"A joke?" She laughed. "Loki, your dirty little French girl started singing in the middle of a meeting!"

Loki blushed at that. "Eh heh heh… sorry. It was supposed to be embarrassing, but not _that _bad."

"Did you even listen to the lyrics of the songs?"

"Not all of them…"

Natasha closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "What could have possibly possessed you to do this?"

Loki shifted uncomfortably. "It was His idea."

Natasha sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

Loki bit her lip. "He said he was trying to get back at you for a prank you pulled on him."

Natasha went blank for a minute, thinking. When had she ever pulled a prank on him? Unless… "Oh, no no. He's trying to get revenge for a prank that _backfired _on him."

"Oh…" Loki had the decency to look ashamed at having tricked herself so.

Natasha ran a hand through her hair. She was still very mad at Loki—just not this Loki. "Look, do you have some of his clothes here?"

Loki vanished the trendy outfit she was wearing, revealing a baggy t-shirt and drawstring sweatpants. "I pretty much wear them all the time anymore." She switched back.

"Good." She grabbed Loki's hand and dragged her towards the door. "You're gonna go tell a lie."

Natasha pushed Loki into the conference room with a none-too-gentle shove. She looked around sheepishly, and then turned back to Natasha.

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

Natasha nodded.

Loki sighed, and turned back.

"Hey Rogers," she called half-heartedly.

Steve frowned. "What?"

Loki looked at a spot above his head. "Your name is written on the ceiling."

"Huh?" Steve glanced upward.

Amid laughs from the table, Loki transformed into his male self, smiling. He turned to Natasha. "Ok, that was a good one—"

Natasha decked him hard across the jaw, the sick _pop _silencing the laughter of the Avengers. Then Clint clapped a couple times, but he stopped when Natasha glared at him.

Loki closed his eyes, eyebrows raised, and lifted a hand to the red mark on his cheek. "You know, I think I would have enjoyed that a lot more if you hadn't waited for my little magic trick. What was that for?" he demanded in an acid tone.

"You know very well what it was for," she hissed in his face, poking his chest. "Don't you _ever _do anything like that to me again!" and she stormed off down the hallway.

Loki turned around to face the remaining Avengers and shrugged, rubbing his jaw. "Women, right? Can't take a joke."

"Dude… not cool," Tony said seriously.

"You made her look unprofessional," Clint scowled.

"And you threatened our security," came Fury's voice from the doorway.

Loki turned, a look of alarm on his face. "I did no such thing. I did nothing to her phone or the communications system. It was a simple spell on her, and her alone."

"You came very close to violating our agreement. I'll go easy on you this time, as it's clear you didn't understand the seriousness of your actions, but this is your last chance," he warned.

Loki had the sense to bite his tongue. "Yes sir. If you'll excuse me, I would like to apologize to Agent Romonov."

Fury looked a little impressed. "Ok, but you'll want to give her some time to cool down first."

Loki nodded.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Ooooh, somebody's in trouble! Find out on Wednesday whether his apology is successful in "Apologies and Good Music." Reviews are the high point of any day._

_Full list of songs (in order of appearance):_

_Harder to Breathe – Maroon 5_

_Love Bites – Halestorm _

_Taste You – Auf der Maur_

_Black Velvet – Alannah Myles_

_Superstition – Stevie Wonder_

_I Put a Spell on You – Tab Benoit and Kenny Neal_


	35. Apologies and Good Music

_The theme song for this chapter is "Madness" by Muse, although another Muse song is featured in it._

* * *

**Chapter 35: Apologies and Good Music**

Exactly ten minutes later, after Tony had lent him a set of riding leathers that were only slightly too small, Loki made his way to the roof of Stark Tower. Jarvis had gladly told him of her location, and he had waited only at Fury's suggestion. Of course, she had chosen the corner of the roof where she had stood, with _his _scepter, and ruined all his beautiful plans. He didn't think it was a coincidence.

He tried to steal upon her quietly, but apparently she still beat him at that. "Unless you told another lie, I don't want to talk, Loki."

"Natasha…" He said softly, pouring all of his charm into one word.

She sighed, but then laughed. "Nice, very nice. That would probably melt the panties off of any other girl, but I'm afraid you're going to have to do better with me."

Loki stopped, and put his hands behind his back. "Why do you prefer the company of my female form?"

Natasha failed to be derailed by the sudden change in tack. "Well for one thing, she's not trying to get in my pants. Or playing at Peeping Tom."

Loki did an awful job trying to hide a smile, but said nothing.

"Also, she is my friend. I trust her. Or I did." Natasha said darkly.

"If I remember correctly, your lack of trust in me is actually a point in my favor," he grinned cheekily.

Natasha threw her hands up in the air with a sound of disgust. "This is why, Loki! I can have a straight conversation with her! With you it's always jokes and tricks. I'm sick of it." She walked off a few steps, and sat down on the edge of a platform, staring off towards the Chrysler building.

Loki frowned. Perhaps she was right. He walked over and sat next to her. She glared at him, but didn't move away when she saw his serious expression. He sighed heavily. "I came up here to apologize to you. And I botched that up too." He looked over at the silver skyscraper which reminded him so much of home.

"You see, I'm very good at ruining things. It's my particular gift, I suppose. I'm not so good at making things work. But I'm trying." He looked to her, his heart in his throat. He'd never risked revealing himself so except when he was trapped in his human, female form. But it seemed to work for Her….

Natasha looked him in the eye for a long, tense moment, and then looked away. "Ok. I accept your apology, because I get that's a big deal for you. But I'm still angry."

Loki shifted, leaning back on his palms. "It wasn't supposed to turn out like that," he said.

"Your apology?" She regarded him with one eyebrow lifted.

He chuckled. "No, the prank. I just… I wanted your phone to… remind you of me all day. Drive you crazy the way you do to me. I never considered the repercussions of others hearing those songs. They were for your ears only."

Natasha frowned a little. "Well even if you were going for some kind of mix-tape, some of those songs are pretty fucked up, Loki."

He shrugged. "Comes with the territory, I'm afraid."

She shook her head. At least he was honest about it.

"Look, you're still angry at me, right?"

"Yes," she said sullenly.

"And you probably came here on your bike?"

"Yes."

"You shouldn't drive that when you're angry," he warned.

"I'll take one of the cars, pick it up tomorrow."

"Let me drive you home instead. As my apology." He slid a hand over hers very cautiously, allowing her to pull away if she liked. She didn't.

"You want me to climb on a bike and wrap myself around you while I'm still pissed?" She said sarcastically.

"What can I say? I like living dangerously."

She thought about it a moment. "And then what? When you've taken me home, what happens then?"

His smile turned devious. "Well, perhaps I could find some other ways to apologize."

She sighed heavily and leaned her head against the crossbar of the railing. "This is all just another ploy to get me, isn't it?"

"No. That's just a fringe benefit. I really do want to make it up to you." He frowned a moment. "Maybe… maybe this is all less than we're making of it. Maybe we should just… get it out of our systems?" He asked hopefully.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Do you really believe that?"

Loki said nothing, shrugging.

"You can't bluff this, Loki. You have to answer." She found herself halfway wishing he would lie to her.

He let out a long breath. "No. I'm just arrogant enough to think that if I can just get inside your head, you won't want me out." He smiled a little, and she returned it.

"Well at least you're trying to get into my head now. That's a step up. Alright, I'll take you up on the bike ride. Nothing more." She stood up, brushing gravel off her hands.

He stood as well. "May I borrow your iPod?" he asked.

She frowned at him, suspicious.

"Please, let me try to do this the right way." He held out his hand.

Natasha was tired of fighting. She fished it out of her jacket pocket and handed it over. While they rode the awkward elevator down, he quickly queued up a playlist just long enough for the ride home. He initiated the synchronization app and kept one of the pairs of earpieces for himself before handing the rest back to her.

She grabbed her helmet on the way out the door. "I don't have one for you with me…."

"No need." Loki rapped a fist against the side of his head. "If Bruce hasn't given me brain damage by now I doubt that a little crash will."

She laughed a little, and put the helmet on. He climbed onto the bike, and waited as she got on behind him, trying not to relish the feeling too much. It wouldn't do for him to be driving distracted either.

She started the iPod and then slipped it back in her zippered jacket pocket, sliding her arms around him to signal she was ready. She had to admit, she could think of worse figures to cozy up to. He started the bike, merging into traffic and making his way back to the SHIELD housing. As they sped along the streets of New York, the electronic stylings of Muse filled her mind. Mathew Bellamy crooned, begging her to tell her if he was mad. It fit, too, too well. There were a few other instrumental pieces, some jazz, some classical, and then as they were coming close to their destination, Muse returned. It wasn't a song she was familiar with; she didn't even know it was on her iPod. She listened carefully to the lyrics.

_I know you've suffered, but I don't want you to hide,_  
_It's cold and loveless; I won't let you be denied_

_Soothing, I'll make you feel pure,_  
_Trust me, you can be sure_

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart_  
_I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask,_  
_I want to exorcise the demons from your past,_  
_I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

_You trick your lovers, that you're wicked and divine,_  
_You may be a sinner, but your innocence is mine_

_Please me, show me how it's done,_  
_Tease me, you are the one_

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart,_  
_I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask,_  
_I want to exorcise the demons from your past,_  
_I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

It was a beautiful song. She should never have let him play it to her.

Loki showed no signs that he was listening to the same music, except for at one stoplight, where he let his hand rest gently on her knee, tracing a small circle on the inside with his thumb. It was done so casually, Natasha wondered if he was even aware of it.

Once they reached the apartment, they said nothing as they dismounted the bike and made their way to Natasha's rooms. After she opened the door, he paused and took her hand, kissing it quickly, courteously, the image of a polite gentleman.

"I hope you have a good night, my lady."

She blinked at his choice of words. He sounded more like his brother than himself. When he began to walk away, she stopped him. "What? You're not even going to try?"

He smiled a little. "You said no. I have been lectured at length by several members of the team as to what that means here."

There was a moment as they stood staring at each other in silence. It seemed to last an age, an eternity, as many things changed between them. Loki could almost feel Morpheus as a palpable presence in the hallway.

At last Natasha broke it, grabbing the front of his shirt. "Get in here," she said tersely.

* * *

_**A/N: **__*cackles maniacally* I don't really need to tell you what's going to happen on Saturday, do I? Tee hee hee._

_I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story—I try to respond to every one, but many of them are made by guests, so I can't. I deeply appreciate it, each one brings me a little gem of happiness. I looked at the rated M BlackFrost fics on here the other day and was surprised to find that this story ranked #9 in reviews. (It also ranks #18 in follows!) I am so tickled that so many people have such nice things to say about this story. Hopefully you like this chapter—I know you'll love Saturday's!_


	36. Undisclosed Desires

_Ok, boys and girls, this is it. This is the chapter your mother warned you about. When I began writing this story, I made sure that you could skip the naughty bits if you wanted to. If that's your goal, you'll want to skip this chapter._

_If, however, you're here while you're waiting for Pity for the Devil to update, this is the chapter you're looking for. The theme song is "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse._

**Chapter 36: Undisclosed Desires**

Natasha slammed the door, and stared at her hand, still fisted in his shirt. Slowly, very slowly, she looked up his neck, past his chin, and at his lips. They were parted slightly, and he was breathing quickly. She glanced up at his expression; he looked as if he couldn't quite believe his luck. She pressed him up against the door, sliding her hands up his chest and into his dark hair. His hands found their way to her back, resting feather light, as if he were afraid she would disappear if he held her any tighter.

She swallowed, gathering all her courage, and kissed him. Her lips slid against his slowly, and she sighed at the tingling sensation. She groaned a little against his mouth as his hands lowered to cup her bottom, pressing her against his hips gently. "Oh, my god," she murmured.

"Yes, yes I am," he quipped before capturing her mouth again. The kiss turned frantic, and she released her hold on his hair with one hand, dropping it to begin fumbling with the button on his pants.

"No, slow down Natasha," Loki said breathlessly.

"What?" she stopped, looking up at him, a frown of confusion on her face.

He brushed a few curls behind her ear. "I want to do this right… I want to—"

"No," Natasha interrupted him, almost angry. "I don't want something that you think I'll like. I want _you _Loki, in all your fucked-up glory."

His breath hitched a little. "Really? You're sure?" he asked with a warning tone.

Natasha ground her hips against his for emphasis. "Yes," she whispered.

Loki let out a long, shuddering breath, and a wicked smirk tugged up the corner of his lips. "As you wish."

Natasha gasped as his hand flew up to her throat, and he turned, slamming her against the wall. He kissed her roughly, all previous tenderness gone, his body pinning her in place a few inches off the ground. She scrabbled for a hold in his hair, but he captured her hand and pressed it against the wall with far more force than necessary. He began to tilt his hips against hers in a sharp, slow rhythm, breaking the kiss and burying his face in her neck.

She found that if she turned her head, her mouth had access to his ear. She drew the lobe into her mouth, biting down and dragging on it slowly. Natasha was rewarded with a low, desperate moan from Loki. He began to pull her captured hand down, sliding it between their bodies until she could feel him, hot and hard through the leather.

"You see what you do to me woman?" he hissed in her ear.

She moaned, she couldn't help it.

"That's right. You like this don't you?" he began moving her hand up and down as he bit her neck, slowly but hard. She whimpered in response.

Suddenly, he pulled away, and she nearly fell over as she slid down the wall, dizzy and out of breath.

He stood a short distance from her, breathing equally hard, and slowly, deliberately raked her with his eyes. He worked his way up from her shapely legs, her full hips and slender waist, her ample breasts, her long, lovely neck, and at last met her eyes, wide and dilated.

"Kneel." His voice was low, soft, dangerous. It promised naughty things.

Her mind was so fogged, for a moment she couldn't think. Then it clicked. _Oh Natasha, I don't need my magic to make you kneel. _He was right. Slowly, deliberately, she knelt before him, pressing her cheek against his hip, just a few inches away. As her fingers found his fly, he threaded his in her hair, taking a tight grip. She pulled the zipper down slowly, and he sprung free, surprising her. She took a moment to admire—it was impressive, after all—and then looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Does Tony know you're running around commando in his clothes?" She asked teasingly.

He looked down at her, his lips pressed together. "I won't tell if you don't," he lilted.

She took hold of him quickly, hard, and he gasped. "You little minx…" he muttered through clenched teeth.

And then she really went to work on him. She had to admit, he was delightfully responsive.

"Oh, Natasha yes…" he whispered, his voice softening, even as his hand in her hair demanded more. She found a good pace, and was just beginning to believe she had the upper hand, when he suddenly pulled away. "Fuck, Natasha…" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up to standing, burying his face in her hair and breathing rapidly for a moment. He pulled back a little, just enough to look into her eyes. "Bedroom. Now."

She nodded, breaking away and heading for her bedroom door. She hit the switch to close the curtains as soon as she got in. _No one is going to watch this show…_ she thought with a smirk.

Loki came up behind her, pulling her hips back to his. He had done his pants back up and ditched the jacket, and was doing interesting things to her backside. He sighed heavily as he looked at the room over her shoulder.

"What?" she asked.

He continued moving his hips against her subtly as he spoke. "It's just… this is all much easier with magic…"

She turned against him, looping her arms around his neck. "What is?"

He gestured to the room behind her. "This. There should be lighting, music, mirrors."

"Mirrors?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." He turned her back around, forcefully, and ran a hand up her front, squeezing her breast firmly. "I like to watch you, Natasha," he breathed in her ear. "I want to watch you watching me fuck you." He slowly pulled the zipper down on her jumpsuit.

She moaned, and then he shoved her into the room. She stumbled a little, turning around to see him stalk after her. He stopped just short, and finished pulling the zipper down. He slowly slid the shoulders off onto her arms, a grin coming over his face as her _green _lacy bra revealed itself. "Oh, so you _do_ hold a candle for me, Miss Romanov?"

She smiled a little. She knew it would give her away, she just didn't expect him to see it so soon.

He continued pushing the top of her jumpsuit off, freeing her arms, but paused when he realized he would need to get her boots off first. "Damn," he cursed softly, and shoved her down onto the bed before grabbing her legs and flipping her over. She clutched the covers as he tugged one boot off and then the other. Then he spread her legs and positioned himself between them. He slid his hands up her bare back slowly, deftly undoing her bra with one hand while the other grasped the back of her neck. He tilted his hips into her, and was rewarded with a soft moan. "Curse this outfit," he said in an incongruously sweet voice. "I want you in a nice, short skirt."

She managed a quick flip onto her back, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Like London?" she smiled, sitting up.

"Yes," he toyed with the loose strap of her bra, "I can't tell you how much I love watching you work."

She tilted her head a little. He had been in his other form at the time, but she supposed he remembered everything, after all. She tugged on his shirt playfully, and he quickly shed it. He hooked the front of her bra with one finger and tugged it off her finally. He devoured her with his gaze as he slowly pushed her back down onto the mattress. He followed soon after, pressing the hard, smooth planes of his chest against her softer curves.

"Oh, Natasha," he groaned. "How I've dreamed of this."

She responded by wriggling provocatively under him, managing to free her legs from the jumpsuit. Loki sat up, kneeling on either side of her hips. He took a moment to admire the way she looked, spread out beneath him with her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen from kissing. Then he grabbed her by the waist and quickly slid her up the bed.

She cried out, surprised, and looked down to see him stroking one of her legs contemplatively. He ran his hands up her legs and up onto her hips, his fingers hooking around her thong and slowly, teasingly pulled it down. He tossed it away, and then slid a hand back up between her legs, spreading them.

"Loki…" she moaned.

"Shh…" He settled himself between her legs, kissing the inside of her knee and working his way up. As he neared his destination, she couldn't help arching up in anticipation. He splayed a hand on her stomach and pressed down, looking up at her with a heated expression. "Don't move," he warned, his breath tickling against her most sensitive spot.

Natasha let her head fall back onto her pillow as he began his slow, deliberate torture. He teased her mercilessly, and then lavished her with attention as soon as she lost hope. He built her up this way, higher and higher, until she thought she might scream of frustration. She tried reaching down to wind her fingers in his hair, but he swatted her hands away, looking up and chuckling.

"Eager, are we?" he teased.

She whimpered in response, bucking her hips a little.

The hand that had kept her hips locked down began to move downwards, his fingers trailing through her short, red curls. He flicked her lightly, and she cried out. He smiled a little and moved lower, finding her center and slipping a finger in, his thumb continuing to press her buttons.

"Oh, Natasha…" he groaned. "You're so wet… you really do want me." He opened his eyes to look at her, and there was a moment of pure vulnerability in his expression.

"Yes," she gasped. "Please."

A grin broke over his face like the sun rising, and he sat back, licking his fingers, making her moan. "Well," he stood, and removed his pants and boots quickly. "You don't have to ask twice." He moved up the bed over her, reminding her very much of a panther stalking his prey with his black hair and green, green eyes.

They both moaned as he pressed his body to hers, every inch of skin touching. He grabbed her wrists quickly and pinned them above her head with one hand. With the other he palmed her breast, rubbing his thumb over her little pink nipple.

She cried out in response, and he chuckled. "Oh, you like that, do you?" He took the raised peak between two fingers and rolled it a bit, before pinching. She arched her back as sparks of pleasure—or pain, at this point she wasn't sure—lanced into her. He continued until she thought she might scream, and then he released her and replaced his fingers with tongue, lips and teeth.

"Loki!" she shouted, shocked at how much more sensitive she was now. He moaned against her and moved to work on the other breast. She tugged at his hold on her wrists, but he wouldn't let go. He began a slow rhythm, rocking his hips against her, and the effect with nothing between them was marvelous. She tried lifting her hips to offer him entry, but he only chuckled and pulled back.

"Loki, if you don't stop teasing me right now, I swear I will kill you," Natasha ground out.

He chuckled at that, too. "On your knees again, then, girl." He flipped her over and she rose on all fours obediently. He took hold of her hips and pulled her against him, grinding in much the same manner.

"Loki, I mean it!" she warned.

No sooner had she spoken than he pulled back and found his way in. He went slowly, torturously, fulfilling the letter but not the spirit of her request. She tried to press back against him, but he held her hips in a vice-like grip.

"Loki, please…" she begged him.

"Yes?" she could hear the smirk in his voice, and realized she would have to be more specific.

She buried her face in the pillow a moment, and then looked at him over her shoulder. "Fuck me, Loki. Please."

His eyes widened—he hadn't expected her to be _that _provocative. He complied immediately, almost without thinking, slamming into her deep and hard.

She cried out, her toes curling. "Yes," she gasped. "Faster."

Loki was happy to oblige, and quickly lost himself in the rhythm, his hand sliding up her back to press her down into the bed.

Her hands clenched on the bedcovers as she felt the first waves of her climax approaching. "Oh yes, Loki, please, just like that…" she murmured, before stiffening as she was overtaken. She gasped, seeing little flashes of light behind her eyes.

"Natasha," Loki groaned, digging his fingertips into her. "Ah, Natasha, you feel so good when you come for me…" he leaned forward to whisper into her ear, and she could feel his ruby pendant brush against her back. "Do it again."

She screamed as her body complied, shocking her. Loki straightened up, cursing, as his rhythm became more erratic. "N-natasha, yes!" he whispered as he came to his release, pressing into her once, twice, three times, and then collapsing.

Natasha straightened out her legs and let him rest above her, relishing the feel of his weight pressing her into the mattress. He lavished tiny kisses on her shoulder blade where he rested his head while he caught his breath.

"Oh, my sweet, lovely girl," he whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. "You are a thing fit for princes." He drew away from her slowly, and dropped heavily onto the bed next to her.

She turned towards him, catching her breath. "What about gods?" she asked teasingly.

He reached out and pulled her to him, so she could feel his heart pounding in her own chest. "No," he claimed her lips. "Only one god shall ever grace your bed, if I have anything to say about it." He held her to him tightly for a moment longer, and then sat up. He swung his feet onto the floor and stood shakily.

Natasha took a moment to admire his nude figure, and could only be reminded of sculpture. He ducked into the bathroom quickly, and came back with a towel which he tossed to her.

She caught it, laughing, but then frowned when he began reaching for his pants. She jumped up to her knees, catching hold of his wrist.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked teasingly.

He straightened up, running a hand through his hair. "I…"

Natasha remembered too late that he had little experience with the more emotional aspects of sex. She tugged on his hand, giving him a small smile as she sat back on her heels. "Stay, Loki…"

He stepped towards her, but still looked unsure.

"I have more to show you," she promised.

He smiled at that, and let her pull him back into bed.

_**A/N: **__Tada! Sorry you had to wait for it so long, but the primary focus of this story is character development, and a LOT of it had to happen before I could make this work. Stay tuned on Wednesday for more sexiness and then some serious conversation in "Give a Little More."_

_Reviews, as always, keep my muse appeased and cooperative._


	37. Give a Little More

_So, um… I kind of lied. If you're skipping the naughty bits, you'll need to skip the first section of this chapter, too. Continuing with the theme of chapters named for songs, the theme song for this one is "Give a Little More" by Maroon 5._

* * *

**Chapter 37: Give A Little More**

Natasha smiled against Loki's lips as she kissed him. She had let him have his fun, now it was her turn. She flipped him onto his back, and began to move her hips in a subtle pattern. She sat up, straddling him, and ran her hands through her hair. She then brought them down her neck, over her shoulders and lower, squeezing her breasts and pressing them together with a quiet moan.

Loki licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. In all his fantasies, he had never imagined her like this: willing and wanton and gleefully in control. She was still slick from before, and it made her slide against him deliciously. When she touched herself, he groaned, shifting his hips beneath her as he came to life once more.

She paused, looking down and blinking. A small smile appeared on her face, and she looked to him with raised eyebrows.

He gave her a mock-frown. "Come now, your surprise is almost insulting," he teased, and took hold of her hips, trying to move her in the same bewitching rhythm she had been using.  
She laughed a little, moving as he wished. "Oh, I knew you could, I just thought I'd have to work a little harder for it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Well don't let that stop you, I should hate to see your talent go to waste."

Natasha nodded her head to the side and resumed in earnest. She put her hands over his, sliding them up to cup her breasts, showing him the way she liked to be touched. All the while her hips moved, dancing to a rhythm all their own, teasing until he clenched his teeth with the effort of not wresting control from her.

Sensing that Loki was at the end of his patience, Natasha made one last expert swivel of her hips which took him inside her. A moan of relief escaped him, and she smiled slyly. She would bet more money than she made in a year that he had never had it this way. She moved her hips against him one last time, and then picked up a rapid tempo, thinking he would like it fast and hard.

She was surprised, then, when she found Loki's hand around her throat, effectively holding her against him. She looked to see his expression, but his eyes were tightly shut.

"Go back," he said in a strained voice. "Do it like before,"

"Like this?" she ground her hips against his, much like before, although the effect with him hard inside her was entirely different.

He nodded and relaxed the hold on her neck.

She shrugged mentally and did as he asked. It was a technique she was more likely to use on over-eager boys to prolong the experience, not on a man of Loki's experience and certainly not on a second round, where she risked losing interest. But she liked it. The sensation of him moving deep inside her and the way her most sensitive spot brushed against his dark curls was enough to have her close to the edge very quickly.

Loki opened his eyes to see that Natasha had closed hers, lost in the pleasure she was taking from him. It was a heady sight. He sat up, propping one hand behind him while the other slid up her back, pressing her to him.

The change in angle made a world of difference to Natasha. She clutched his shoulders tightly, biting her lip as her body clenched around him.

Loki decided he liked the look of that and kissed her, drawing her lower lip into his mouth and biting it as well. She moaned happily and relaxed as the last wave of passion passed through her. She opened her eyes and looked into his, only inches away.

"Good?" he asked softly.

She nodded, and her smile was passion-drunk.

"Excellent," he said abruptly, and pressing a hand to the small of her back, he flipped her over.

She laughed, surprised and impressed by the difficult move, but her laughter quickly dissolved into a gasp as Loki took up a rough, furious pace, driving into her mercilessly. The contrast left her reeling, a moment ago they had been making love. Now...

"Oh, fuck..." Natasha gasped between moans, digging her fingernails into his back.

"Yes," Loki hissed between clenched teeth.

She closed her eyes and wrapped her legs around his waist, relaxing so she could ride the force of his passion. He wasn't hurting her, not quite, but the near-brutality of it was overwhelming. Loki's breath was quick and hot against her neck, and she opened her eyes just long enough to glimpse his hand clenched next to her so tightly that the knuckles were white.

While her mind fought not to panic, her body was taking its own course, leading her inexorably towards another climax. She cried out wordlessly as it overtook her, and Loki made a frantic, strangled sound as her body clenching tight around him pushed him over the edge as well.

He hovered over her a few moments, pressing his forehead against hers, before turning so they both lay on their sides, arms and legs entwined.

"I suppose I should apologize for that," he said as soon as he caught his breath.

"Are you sorry for it?" Natasha asked.

He laughed breathlessly. "No," he admitted.

"Then please don't lie because I'm not sorry either and this would be very difficult to explain," she quipped.

He chuckled again, and pulled her against him tightly, tucking her head under his chin. Silently, he thanked whatever powers had rendered her momentarily crazy enough to let him in. He was sure it would take every ounce of his cunning to keep her from bolting, but what was life without a good challenge?

* * *

Natasha lay there for a while, her body wrapped around his. It had been a very long time since she had felt like this, and she tried to put her finger on what it was she felt. Satisfied, and a little tired, the good kind from too much physical exertion. A bit sore, too, but also in a good way. There was a sense of resolution as all the tension that had been building between her and Loki had finally come to a head. What was done was done, and there was no going back now.

But it was more than that, a feeling of stillness within her, as if she existed simply in the moment, warm and sated and... hungry. Her stomach growled, breaking the magic of the moment.

Loki chuckled a little, and pulled back. "Did I make you miss your dinner?" he teased.

She smiled. "Yeah, but it's no big deal. I skip meals all the time."

He frowned disapprovingly, and moved away, sitting up. "Nonsense. Hunger is one of the least pleasant aspects of being human, in my opinion." He found his pants on the floor.

She sat up, scowling. "Well you don't have to go-"

"I'm not leaving," he assured her as he put them on. "But I don't think cooking naked is a terribly intelligent idea."

"Cooking?" she frowned, but he merely grinned and left the bedroom. She scrambled to find some clothes, a t-shirt and jersey shorts that she often wore as pajamas were the first things she could find. As soon as she had them on, she hurried out to the main room.

Loki was staring into her refrigerator, scowling. After a moment he took out the eggs and a couple other ingredients.

"Do you even know how to cook?" Natasha asked skeptically.

He sent her a wounded look. "Of course I do. She cooks, so I cook."

"Right," she sat at the table and sighed. This was clearly going to be the most complicated relationship she had ever entered... assuming of course that a relationship would follow. For all she knew, Loki wouldn't even notice her the next day. But cooking was generally a good sign in her experience. And she had plenty of that.

There was a comfortable silence as Loki worked, giving Natasha ample time to examine the absurdity of her situation. Before her stood the god of mischief and lies, with whom she had just had not one but two exceedingly thrilling rides, and who was now cooking her something that smelled fantastic. And she was pondering the possibility of entering into a relationship with him, the same person who had tried to kill her and all her friends—had _succeeded _in one case—two very short months ago. Was she insane?

"Plates?" Loki asked, interrupting her train of thought.

"Right-hand cupboard," she answered, unable to shake the surreal feeling of such a mundane exchange.

He found the plates, loaded them up, and carried them over to the table. He set one in front of Natasha and one across from her, then opened a couple drawers before finding the silverware. At last, he sat in the seat across from her. "Well?"

Natasha stared down at the food. It smelled good, and it looked good, but she had always been a little wary of eating unknown things. "What is it?"

He smiled. "Well, I wanted to make eggs Benedict, but there was no ham, or English muffins, and the hollandaise sauce would have taken too long anyway. So it's fried eggs on toast with cheese."

She shrugged and took a bite. "It's good."

They ate in silence for a few moments, Loki watching her warily. "Are you sure you like it?" he asked, making her pause. "Only you keep scowling at it."

She sighed, and poked a bit of egg with her fork. "What are we doing, Loki?"

"Eating?" he joked.

She rolled her eyes. "I mean, how did it come to this?" she gestured to the bedroom door.

A sly grin spread across his face. "I knew from the first moment I saw you that it would come to this," he purred.

She laughed. "You are an arrogant ass, aren't you?"

He sat back, raising his eyebrows. "Is it arrogance if I'm right?" he asked before popping a piece of the toast in his mouth.

Natasha sighed. "The question remains, what are we doing?"

"Having fun?" he shrugged. "At least, I was having fun. I assume—from the screaming and moaning—that you were having fun, too?"

She fought against a smile, and failed. "Yes," she admitted. "But—" she's toyed with her fork a little. "Are we going to continue... having fun?"

Loki set down his fork. "I believe Midgardian custom dictates that is largely up to you," he said seriously. "If it were up to me, I'd lock us in a room for a week and have my way with you every which way I could imagine. But I'm told that's frowned upon when the lady in question disapproves."

She stared at him, amazed as always that he could be so glib about something like that, and equally amazed that it was, in fact, funny. "What I want isn't the only factor involved," she warned.

"Really? If you want it and I want it, then what other objections could there be?" he joked.

She gave him a sarcastic look. "What about SHIELD?"

"Frankly, I don't think they have any right to know. I'm for pleasure, not business," he reasoned.

"What makes you think you're not a job?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Because," he waved a forkful of food, "otherwise this would have happened quite a while ago. You wouldn't have put up such a fight."

Natasha scowled at the way he put it. "Alright, but what about the team? They're our friends—well, my friends anyway—and they're not going to like it."

Loki shrugged. "Who says they have to know? If anyone has the ability to keep a secret, I should think it would be us."

She sighed as she finished the last of her meal. The last thing she needed in her life was more deception. When Loki had finished his food as well, she grabbed his plate and took the dishes to the sink.

"I can do that," Loki offered as she turned on the sink.

"No, you cooked, I'll clean," she argued. It made her feel slightly useless to have him do everything. She laughed a little. "I guess, even if we did tell them, what would we say?"

He turned his chair around so he could watch her work. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what are we, really?" she asked, catching his eye in the mirror above the sink.

"Do we _really _need to put a label on it?" he whined.

"Yes. Labels are the best defense against chaos," she said firmly.

"Well we're not lovers," he crossed his arms.

"Love is for children?" she quoted herself.

"Love is a lie," he agreed.

She nodded. "We're not exactly courting, either."

"Gods, no," he scoffed. "I don't ever want to marry again, nothing personal," he added apologetically.

"No, I quite agree. Not really the marrying type myself. Does that make me a conquest, in Asgardian terms?" she gave him a challenging look.

He shook his head, smiling. "The idea of anyone conquering you is laughable. No, if we were in Asgard I suppose I would say you were my mistress. I like that word, mistress. What do you think?"

She frowned a little. "I'm not sure I like the idea of being _your _anything." she found a towel and started drying the dishes. When she looked up to catch his expression in the mirror, she was surprised to find him quiet and a little sad.

"Not even my friend?" he asked.

She turned around, leaning against the counter. "We could be friends," she said softly.

Loki smiled as a thought occurred to him, a term from one of his counterpart's insipid books. "With benefits?"

"Sure," she laughed. "That will do for now." She turned around and started putting away the clean dishes.

When she reached to place the plates in the cupboard, the hem of her shirt lifted to reveal a slice of bare skin. Loki reached out to touch it, when he noticed a purplish stain on one end. He lifted the hem of her shirt to reveal a nasty bruise blooming on her hip, where he had held her so roughly.

"Hey," Natasha said softly, noticing his very concerned look as he gently traced his fingertips around the ugly shape. "It's no big deal, I get worse than that from sparring." She brushed her fingers across his cheek.

"This is different," he scowled, catching her wrist and examining the faint beginnings of bruises there as well. He pulled gently, and she sat on his lap facing him. He moved her hair out of the way to find another collection around her neck. He cursed softly.

"It's okay, Loki. They'll be gone tomorrow, maybe the day after. A little rough play won't do me permanent damage," she reassured him.

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "Natasha, that was _restraint_. What happens if I get carried away? It could be a lot worse than bruises." Loki ran a hand along her arm, over her shoulder, and then up her neck. He tightened his fingers over the bruises there, his thumb stroking along her pulse point. "I could kill you with less than a thought," he whispered.

Natasha was suddenly, inexplicably turned on. She swallowed against his hand and smiled grimly. "I know at least a hundred ways to kill a man in bed," she explained. "I don't know how many of them would work on you, but I'm pretty sure they'd get your attention."

He laughed and pulled her close, nuzzling her cleavage.

"Anyway, Thor made it sound like you'd had human women before," she said, curious.

He sighed. "This may be the first time I've stuck around long enough to see the... aftermath," he admitted.

Natasha ran her fingers through his hair. "I promise if you get too rough, I'll kick your ass, okay?"

He chuckled darkly. "Are you sure you want to do this? You might end up with more than your bones broken. I was once called Loki the Heartless by the women of Asgard, remember?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You're assuming a lot about me there."

He shrugged. "Goddesses have broken their hearts against the sharp rocks of my personality," he argued.

She sighed heavily. "It won't happen, Loki. I'm the Black Widow. I can't lose my heart to you if I don't gamble it in the first place."

Loki closed his eyes and nodded.

They stayed that way for a few moments. "You're right, though," she whispered.

He lifted his head to look her in the eye.

"We should keep it secret."

Loki nodded, and stood, setting her down carefully. "I should go, then, before Thor notices I'm gone."

"You should probably switch back in the morning, it's Her turn and you don't want to get off schedule," she reminded him.

He grimaced. "I suppose so. I shall see you next week then," he said, and picking up her hand he kissed it once more. "Try to get some sleep."

She smiled a little. "If I'd known you would be this nice, I would have slept with you a long time ago."

He laughed darkly. "I wouldn't have been this nice a long time ago," he admitted, and then he left.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Sick today, so early post, yay! The nice thing is that I'm getting a TON of writing done. If only that translated into money, lol. _

_For all those worried about everything being all hunky-dory now that Natasha and Loki are together, let me just say I HATE stories like that. The stuff is definitely about to hit the fan. Next Saturday, Chapter 38: "The Calm Before."_

_I got a number of really fabulous reviews for the last chapter, and they all made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, and got me back to working on this story. I try to keep a month's worth of chapters in my buffer, but that was getting pretty slim! Hopefully I can keep up this twice-a-week update schedule for the rest of the story._


	38. The Calm Before

_I had the worst time picking a theme song for this chapter. I think I'm going to go with "The Pretender" by the Foo Fighters… not sure if it fits, but it's a good song anyway, and it has a good sense of tension._

* * *

**Chapter 38: The Calm Before**

Loki tried the handle of the front door to his apartment. It was unlocked. "Damn," he muttered. That meant Thor was home. It was later than he had thought, but one could always hope that Thor had stayed late at Jane's new place. He slipped inside, and was relieved to see that Thor's door was closed and the lights were all out. Perhaps he had turned in early.

He made his way across the living room and had almost gotten to his own door when the light next to the couch turned on. He whirled around, but it was only Thor, looking very disappointed.

Loki laughed breathlessly. "Bor's boots, you startled me," he joked.

Thor merely continued to frown. "Where were you?"

Loki gave him a sarcastic look. "You know the whole melodramatic, concerned older brother routine may work on Her, but I find it quite funny."

His scowl deepened. "I was expecting her."

Loki sighed, remembering that Thor had not been witness to Natasha's anger. "It's complicated. I made a bit of an ass of myself, with Her unwitting help. I apologized to Natasha, and took her home. She invited me in, and we talked."

Thor glanced at the clock skeptically. "Until two o'clock in the morning?"

He scowled. "We had a lot of talking to do."

Thor's frown melted into a teasing smile. "Talking? Is that what Midgardians are calling it these days?"

Loki's mind raced. He had to think fast. "You have a lot of nerve, you know, pretending to be a bastion of righteousness, and then make those kinds assumptions about Lady Natasha," he hissed.

Thor had the decency to look ashamed. "My apologies, brother. You are right. Will you be staying, then?"

He shook his head, calming. "I'll switch back in the morning, when I've finished apologizing."

"What more is there to do?" he looked confused.

Loki sighed. "I'll think of something. A gift, perhaps. For both of them."

He looked impressed. "Very thoughtful. Do you have the money for it?"

Loki nodded, and went into his room. He shut the door and leaned his head against it. That had been _very _close.

* * *

The next morning Loki took the company car that usually took his counterpart to work. Since his eventual destination was Stark Tower anyway, they didn't seem to mind. When he arrived there, he handed one of the two bouquets he carried to a receptionist at the front desk.

"Would you see that Agent Romanov receives these?" he said in his most solicitous voice.

"Certainly," she smiled flirtatiously.

He nodded and began to walk away.

"Sir," called the other receptionist, a phone in her hand.

He paused, turning back.

"Mr. Stark would like to see you immediately," she said, a note of apology in her voice.

Loki raised both eyebrows. "Really?"

She nodded, gesturing to the elevator. "Jarvis will take you there," she offered.

He shrugged and walked into the elevator. As it hurtled upwards, he tried to distract himself from the unpleasant sensation by wondering what Tony could possibly want to speak to him about. It didn't help.

When the doors opened, it was to a small, well-appointed waiting room. Another very attractive secretary sat at a desk in front of the door, filing her nails. "Mr. Stark will see you now," she said absently, then glanced up. Catching sight of him she smiled and amended, "sir," to the end of her comment.

Loki raised an appreciative eyebrow, but said nothing as he passed into the next room. "Nice office," he said, admiring the open space, larger than the room he had just come from. "I like the decoration out front."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, I wanted a calendar but Pepper said she'd throw it away, so..." he shrugged.

Loki tossed a bag containing the leathers he had borrowed onto the desk. "Thanks," he said shortly.

Tony raised an eyebrow and nodded to the bouquet he still carried. "Those for me?"

He laughed and sprawled in one of the chairs facing the desk. "They're for Her, actually. As an apology. I was planning on switching before you called me up. What is it you wanted?"

Tony drummed his fingers on his desk a little. "Actually, I was kind of wondering what happened yesterday. Natasha was pretty wound up, and then you guys just left.

I thought one of you might kill the other. Or do other stupid things."

Loki glared at Tony. Was he going to be interrogated by every member of the Avengers Initiative? "I took her home and we talked. I made her dinner, and then went home."

"Riiiiight. Made her dinner. That would explain why you moved to the kitchen at one-thirty in the morning..." he muttered.

"What?" Loki said, all pretense of friendliness disappearing.

"You see, I got this call from your brother last night, saying that you hadn't come home yet, and could I 'discretely ascertain your whereabouts without unduly alarming SHIELD,' and is he a walking dictionary or what? So I looked. Since you still have a tracking device on that pretty necklace of yours," he pointed to the ruby, "I just hacked into the signal to see where you were. Oddly enough, it said you were at home, at the apartment complex. So I zoomed in."

"I said I was at Natasha's," he ground out.

"Way, _way _in. Do tell, why did the majority of your conversation take place in Miss Romanov's bedroom?" Tony laced his fingers and gave him a cheeky smile.

Loki glared at him a moment longer, and then sighed. "I'm afraid I've been sworn to secrecy," he admitted.

Tony's smile grew to a triumphant grin. "Say no more," he held a hand out, which Loki stared at. "C'mon, you gonna leave me hangin'? Down low instead?" He flipped his hand so it was palm up.

Belatedly, Loki remembered how much his counterpart enjoyed high-fives. Grinning, he leaned forward and slapped Tony's hand.

"Damn, man" Tony shook his head, still grinning. "Was she...?"

"Oh yes," he chuckled. "Everything I'd imagined and more."

Tony whistled.

"But you can't tell anyone, or I shall be in serious trouble," he warned.

" 'Course not. Your secret's safe with me," he assured him.

Loki frowned a little. "Why the change in heart? I thought you were going to kill me. Or at least try."

He shrugged. "I trust Natasha's judgment. If she thinks you're worth salvaging, then you're probably not a lost cause. Turned me around, although I'm sad to say in a more conventional way." he shook his head. "Damn," he swore again, shaking his head. "I have wanted to tap that since day one," he lamented.

Loki glared at him, and Tony held up his hands. "Not cool?"

"No," Loki said shortly.

Tony gave him a suspicious look. "You're not... falling for her, are you?" he teased.

He scoffed. "Don't be absurd, of course not."

Tony enjoyed another grin as he looked at a very confused Femme Loki. "Hi!" he said cheerfully.

"Um... Hi." She stared down at the bouquet in her hand.

"Those are for you," Tony said helpfully. "From Him."

She frowned. "How long have I been gone?"

Tony glanced at his watch. "About 15 hours."

Her frown turned to a scowl.

"In His defense," he offered, "You probably would have slept through most of that."

Loki gave him a sarcastic look. "And He found a better way to spend the time?"

He shrugged. "He apologized to Natasha."

She looked impressed. "Did she accept his apology?"

Tony shrugged again, his grin widening. "I guess so," he said casually.

"Right... Look, can I take the day off? I'm feeling a little worn out." She rubbed her forehead.

"Sure! You can probably make it up tomorrow with the extra magic, right?"

"I guess so." She smelled the flowers absently, noticing that there was a card included with them. Standing, she waved absently to Tony and walked away.  
He couldn't help noticing a particular sway to her hips that had not been there the day before. Once she had left the room, he giggled to himself. "I love secrets."

* * *

Natasha popped into her office to grab some reports and discovered that someone had left a bouquet of flowers on her desk. They were unusual, a kind she had never seen before, dark purple with velvety petals. She plucked out the card and read it.

_I looked myself up on Wikipedia, as per your suggestion. It would seem that these flowers, called Velvetbells, are my purview. I could only find one florist in New York who had them, and she had only a dozen, so I suppose this constitutes half my kingdom._

In place of a signature, he had left the same sharp-angled B that had been used in her tracking spell in Poland. It reminded her instantly of the conversation they had had there.

_Were I king, as I once was, I would give half my kingdom for you to grace my bed a single night._

She allowed herself a private smile. For all his lies and deceptions, he was a man of his word, in a strange, twisted way. She liked it, it kept her guessing.

Suddenly, her phone rang, and she recognized the number as Loki's. _But which Loki? _She wondered.

"Hello?" she answered in a neutral voice.

"I cannot believe you," said the voice of an exceptionally angry Femme Loki. "Him, I can believe, but I thought you were smarter than that!"

"Woah, slow down," Natasha's mind reeled. It was obvious she knew, but this was not the way to discuss it. SHIELD tapped all of its agents' phones for security purposes, and until now she had never minded. "Where are you? We need to discuss this privately," she emphasized the last word.

"I'm at the apartment," Loki said, and now she sounded as if she would cry.

_Oh great_, Natasha thought, _instead of emotionally stilted Loki, now I have to deal with overly-emotional Loki. _She sighed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes," she said, and hung up.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Remember when I said the stuff was about to hit the fan? Oh yeah._

_I got a couple of reviews for the last chapter that described it as "sweet." While I'm always flattered any time anyone takes the time to review this story, "sweet" wasn't really what I was shooting for lol. I even said to Brian (my hubby) "what's sweet about talking about killing each other?" and he said "the cooking. It's definitely the cooking." Lol. But yeah, I hope I'm not getting too mushy on you guys! Tell me what you think: should there be more mushy? Or should I try to keep things dark?_

_Up on Wednesday, Chapter 39: The Storm _


	39. The Storm

_So, one of my readers, Rossi's Lil Devil, asked me ages ago to write more scenes with Femme Loki and Clint interacting. This might not be what you're looking for, but you know the old saying… be careful what you wish for!_

_This chapter's theme song is "Change" by Churchill, because I'm obsessed with it at the moment, and it's funny here. XD_

* * *

**Chapter 39: The Storm**

Natasha raised her hand to knock on Loki's door, when it opened. She frowned, confused.

"I was watching for you," she said by way of explanation, but Natasha didn't know what that meant. The windows all looked out on the courtyard.

"You wanted to talk?" she said instead.

Loki rolled her eyes and turned, leaving Natasha to close the door and follow her. "A couple weeks ago I found a box of things in with His clothes," she explained in a sarcastically chipper voice. "Mementos, I guess. I thought it would be a nice gesture to preserve one of the flowers He gave me and put it in there."

By this time they had reached Loki's bedroom. Natasha noticed that a few changes had been made. A poster of a movie villain with the word "kneel" hung on one wall, and for unknown reasons there was a curly-cue mustache drawn on the ceiling above the bed.

"Well guess what I found?" Loki asked, shoving a small wooden box into her hand.

Natasha opened it cautiously, not sure what she would find. Inside was a collection of odd items, a spent shell, a zip tie that had been cut, a movie ticket stub. But on top of these, carefully folded, was a green thong. She instantly recognized it as the one she had worn the night before.

"What makes you think this is mine?" she asked casually.

Loki scoffed. "Oh, come on. It's not _mine, _I can't stand them. Who else would it belong to?"

Natasha tried to think of a plausible answer, and came up blank. She sighed and sat on the bed.

Loki threw her hands up in the air. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

She gave her a sarcastic look. "Loki, this is what I _do_-" she started.

"Oh, no, don't try that either. If this was business you'd never tell me," she argued.

Natasha ran a hand through her hair, stalling to come up with an explanation when she wasn't entirely sure why she had done it herself.

Suddenly, Loki stilled, frowning at her. "It's a little early in the year for turtlenecks, don't you think?" she murmured, suspicious. She pulled down the edge of Natasha's collar tentatively, revealing the rest of what she had glimpsed.

Natasha watched Loki's expression carefully, seeing the same mix of horror and fascination she had the night before. "It's okay," she began.

"No it's _not_," she took one of Natasha's wrists and pushed back the cuff to find more bruises.

"Well it's good to see you two agree on something," she joked.

Loki looked back up, confused.

"He doesn't know his own strength," she explained.

Loki swallowed, and sat on the bed next to Natasha slowly. She bit her lip.

"What?"

"I'm jealous," she admitted.

"Of which one of us?" Natasha frowned.

Loki shook her head. "I'm not sure."

Natasha looked down at the box of stolen mementos still in her lap. She picked up the zip tie, studying it. Suddenly she frowned. "Loki, this is from Poland."

"So?" she frowned.

Natasha looked at the other objects. "And this is from London," she pointed to the shell. "These are all things that _you _took, except for the last one,"

"No I didn't," Loki's frown deepened. "I didn't put anything in that box," she argued.

She shook her head. "But Loki, you _vanished _them."

Loki looked very confused.

Suddenly, Natasha's cell phone beeped. She pulled it out of her pocket, in case it was something from SHIELD. It was a text from Clint, and it was short.

_We need to talk. Now._

"Oh shit," Natasha breathed. "Clint knows."

"What? How?!"

"I don't know," Natasha tried to think.

"Wait..." Loki's eyes widened. "I think Tony knows. He was grinning like an idiot at me when I showed up. Maybe He tried to lie to him..."

"And he told Clint?"

"He wouldn't! ...would he?" Loki asked. "I thought he was my friend..." she grumbled.

"Well, whatever the case, I have to go handle this before Clint goes ballistic," Natasha sighed and stood.

"Wait," Loki caught her arm, and pulled back her sleeve again. "I can't heal them, I never had any talent at healing magic. But I can hide them for you."

Natasha nodded, and watched as Loki passed her hand over the marks, leaving her skin clear and unblemished. She repeated the motion over her other wrist and neck. "Thanks," Natasha muttered, suddenly feeling awkward. Had she ruined her friendship with this Loki by letting the other one in?

"No problem," Loki sighed. "And we don't have to talk about it. I guess it's none of my business," she stared down at her feet.

"No, it is. I just don't know if I can explain it to you," she put a hand on her shoulder.

Loki laughed. "Well then good luck explaining it to Clint."

Her cell phone beeped again; another text from Clint.

_On my way._

Natasha sighed, squeezed Loki's shoulder, and left.

* * *

She had just barely enough time to change into a less suspicious outfit when Clint banged on her door. She took her time answering it, reassuring herself that she wouldn't let him get her worked up. When she opened the door he said nothing, just standing there out of breath. She stared at him a moment and then sighed, moving out of his way and effectively letting him in.

She sat on the couch, and he walked in slowly, shutting the door behind him. "Why?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"Is it so hard to believe that I'm attracted to him?" she asked.

"Yes, Natasha. I find it very difficult to understand how you could let a monster like that touch you..." he began.

"Really?" she interrupted. "Because I don't know if you looked lately, but that's kind of my job description."

Clint sighed and collapsed on the couch next to her. "And if this were a mission, I would understand. I mean, I've seen the video of you and him chatting on the helicarrier. You had him wrapped around your finger."

"Well maybe I like that feeling," she said defensively.

He felt his temper rising to the surface again. "Look, I know I have no say in who you choose to see, but did it have to be him? After all he did to us? To me? To Phil?"

"So he's done bad things," she agreed. "Some of them pretty horrible. That doesn't mean he's always going to be a bad person. You're the one who taught me that."

Clint frowned. "Is that what this is about? You're trying to pay it forward, do the same for him as I did for you?"

She folded her arms. "Wasn't my intention, but you bring up a valid point."

"This is different, Tasha. Phil was our _friend_," he argued.

"Did I ever tell you about my first crush?" she asked suddenly.

He thought a moment. "That doesn't count, they made you-"

Natasha shook her head, silencing him. "I told you they put us in a room, gave us knives, and said only one of us could come out. Obviously, it was me. What I didn't tell you is what Karl did. He laid his knife on the floor, saying that he wouldn't do it. He launched into this speech about how love could conquer everything, and that they couldn't make us do it."

"What happened?" he asked softly. He hated learning about the awful things the Red Room had done to Natasha, but knew that every one she told him was a step in the right direction for her.

"While he was talking, I looked at my knife, then back to him. I wondered how I ever could have been such an idiot to like him. The look of surprise on his face when I stuck it in his throat..." she trailed off. "It was so funny, I laughed."

Clint swallowed. "It's still not the same, Natasha. They raised you to be a killer, brainwashed you and molded you in their own image. He was born to a life of privilege."

She shook her head. "That doesn't always mean better, Clint. He's got a lot of history behind him, even more than I do. We can't know-" she started to stand up from the couch.

"I don't _want _to know!" he argued, grabbing her wrist and stopping her.

She winced.

Clint saw it, and frowned, looking down at her wrist in his hands. She looked so delicate and fine-boned, but he knew she was tougher than most. There were no bruises, but that didn't mean much with her. "Did he hurt you?" he asked, his voice so quiet she almost couldn't hear it.

"No," she lied.

He stared at her, and she held his gaze unfalteringly. This was her one tell, he knew. She never broke eye contact when she lied.

"I'm gonna kill him," he said, deathly calm.

"Clint..." Natasha started.

He stood, storming to the door. "I am going to fucking kill him!"

"Clint, wait," she warned. "He's gone," she argued, chasing him across the hallway.

"When I went to Fury, he pulled up your trackers, and _both _of them were in his room," he argued.

"You told _Fury_?" Natasha asked, exasperated.

Clint didn't bother to knock, wrenching open the unlocked door. Femme Loki stood in the middle of the living room, facing them.

"Hi," she said softly.

Clint cussed.

"Sorry to disappoint," she joked.

He stepped in to the room, calming. Natasha followed, sending her a sympathetic look.

"Lie," Clint ordered.

"No," she replied quietly. Before he could protest, she held up a hand. "I know you want me to change so you can take a swing at Him, but Natasha did the same thing yesterday, and look how that turned out."

He rolled his eyes. "No offense," he glanced at Natasha, "but I think I'm fairly immune to your charms."

Loki tried to hide a smile. "That's not what I meant. If every time He does something he shouldn't you ask me to switch, we're kind of rewarding him for it. It is my turn, and even if my raison d'être is cleaning up his messes, I still have a right to my time here. If you want to say something to Him, fine. Go ahead. He'll get the message."

Clint fumed a few moments longer, then crossed his arms, resigned. "Fine. I see what you mean. Well then here's the message: if you ever touch her again, I will personally eviscerate you."

"Hey," Natasha warned.

Loki crossed her arms as well. "Not that I disagree with you, but why, exactly, do you think you have a say in it? She left you. I wasn't aware exes had a say in their successors," she jabbed.

Clint laughed. "Why do you assume she dumped me?"

She blinked a moment. "Because I respect your intelligence?" she guessed.

He shook his head, and looked to Natasha.

She shrugged. "We both decided to end it, it wasn't working. It was compromising our work as a team, and..." she looked to Clint.

"And it was like mope-fest 2010. She was used to a kind of lifestyle that my SHIELD earnings don't really allow, and I needed someone more..."

"Cheerful?" Natasha suggested.

He laughed. "Yeah, so we decided to be friends." He turned back to Loki. "Why the hell am I telling you this?"

Loki shrugged. "I have that effect on people. Look, I get that you're pissed at him, and at the moment I am too. Well, I say if he's going to ally himself with Jane against me, we can team up against Him."

Clint frowned, ignoring Natasha as she rolled her eyes. "How?"

"On Monday, when He returns, go to the gym. He'll be there, and you can extract your pound of flesh," she proposed.

"No holds barred sparring?" Clint had to admit he liked the sound of that. "What makes you think he'll hold up his end of the deal?"

"He has to. If he doesn't I'll..." she paused, glancing at Natasha. "I'll make out with Thor in front of Jane."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly are you going to manage that?"

Loki crossed her arms. "I have my ways," she said coyly.

"She does, actually," Clint admitted.

Loki's jaw dropped. "I can't believe it! I can't believe Tony told you-"

Clint held up his hands. "Whoa, slow down. What does Tony have to do with this? He didn't tell me anything. I just meant... Before... you... showed me things." He ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"Oh," Loki said softly. "I don't remember... What did I show you?" she frowned.

Clint looked at Natasha a long moment. "What would happen to her if I failed."

Loki blanched. "Oh gods..." she sat on the couch.

Natasha frowned. "Wait, if Tony didn't tell you, how did you know...?"

Clint rolled his eyes. "I found the flowers in your office. The 'half my kingdom' comment tipped me off."

"You _heard _that?" Natasha looked pained.

"We were in constant radio contact, Tasha, of course I heard it. Which reminds me. Say for a minute we forget the fact that this guy tried to take over the world, killed our good friend, and called you nasty names. He still makes jokes about paying you for your 'services' and..." he stopped, unable to say it.

"Rape?" Natasha asked. Clint looked as if he had been struck, Loki as if she might faint. "What, we're just going to pretend that's not what we're talking about? Alright, yes, I noticed. He has a phenomenally dark sense of humor, not to mention bad taste, but they're just jokes. It doesn't mean he actually wants to..." she trailed off as they both gave her the same incredulous look.

"You think so? You saw the way he looked at those photos from Poland. How do you know he doesn't want to do that to you? Because I've had a front-row seat to some of his favorite fantasies, and he seemed pretty keen on the idea at the time," Clint said in a low, dangerous voice.

Natasha looked to Loki. "Is that true?"

Loki swallowed. "I _think _that was mostly to freak you out," she started.

"Well it worked," Clint growled.

"But it is _possible _that at a certain low point... He might have..." she looked more pained with every word.

"See?!" Clint demanded. "Who knows how many times he's-"

"No," Loki said firmly, her strength returning. "I never. I can't speak for how He is now, but in the past I would never have done such a thing."

"She's right," Natasha piped up. "I asked Thor about it."

Loki made a face. "You asked Thor if I-"

"He mentioned Sigyn, in Poland. I wanted to hear the whole story," she explained.

"What's Sigyn?" Clint asked.

Loki flopped back on the couch, staring at the ceiling for a long moment. "The worst thing I have ever done to a woman," she said cryptically.

Clint looked to Natasha for an explanation. She shrugged. "Thor made it sound like she was a real bitch, and honestly had it coming,"

Loki laughed humorlessly. "You could say that."

Clint shook his head. "That still doesn't rule out the other issue."

Loki sat up, glaring at him. "Look, I didn't earn the nickname 'silver-tongued' for nothing, you know. You might find it hard to believe, but I never had any trouble finding companionship."

"Being a prince has its benefits?" Clint asked sarcastically. "And you never paid any of them?"

Loki frowned, crossing her arms defensively. "In Asgard, it's considered polite to send a gift within the week. I admit it's possible some approached me with that in mind, but that's their business, not mine."

"And that's what the flowers were?" Natasha asked.

Loki threw up her hands. "How should I know? I have no idea what's going on half the time here, you know. I can tell you all you want about how it was before the split, but now... your guess is as good as mine."

Clint put his hands on his hips and looked to Natasha.

She sighed. "Look, I know you guys are just trying to look out for me, and I appreciate it. But I can take care of myself."

He softened, relenting. "I know, Tasha. I just don't get what you see in him."

Natasha looked from him to Loki, thinking. "Do you remember how it was, just before a mission?" she asked him quietly.

He smiled a little, remembering. "Yeah. You were a real freak for danger," he admitted.

She stared at him a moment, making him consider his words. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "Ok, I guess I can see that." He looked back at Loki. "But I'm sure going to enjoy kicking the shit out of him on Monday."

Loki nodded. "Any parting shots?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "You don't mind?"

She shrugged. "Better than switching."

He thought about it a moment, then walked over to Loki, putting his face close to hers and speaking so quietly that Natasha couldn't hear. "Don't let the screaming fool you, asshole. She's the finest actress in the world."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and how can _you_ tell?"

He grinned, almost a leer. "She bites her lip when she really digs it."

Loki blinked for a moment, a smile spreading across her face. She started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" he demanded,

"I don't know," she shook her head, still laughing. "I just find that terribly amusing."

Clint glared at her a moment longer, and then stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Man, this chapter was a bitch to write. It takes a lot of effort to make Clint not kill Loki on a regular basis, lol. _

_On Saturday, check in for more Clint and Chapter 40: The Silver Lining. Reviews, as always, are my muse's bread and butter!_


	40. The Silver Lining

_You guys are all awesome. Do you know how awesome you are? This story has had over 20,000 views. I cannot begin to express how awe-struck I am that so many of you enjoy this story!_

_The theme song for this chapter is "Catch My Breath" by Kelly Clarkson, which I pretty much consider to be Clint's theme song. _

* * *

**Chapter 40: The Silver Lining**

"I'm sorry about that," Natasha said as soon as Clint had left.

"No," Loki sighed. "I suppose it was sort of inevitable. I just hope he'll feel better after sparring."

Natasha came and sat on the couch next to her. "You think it will work?"

"I don't know. Clint isn't as strong as Him, simply put, and that means either He'll let him win, and Clint will probably know it, or He'll just make him angrier by kicking _his _ass all over town."

She frowned, thinking. "Well I suppose it's up to Him to figure that out."

Loki rubbed her face with her hands. "I just wish there was some way to make it up to Clint. I've been trying so hard to reach him, and it just isn't working."

"I think the whole thing was a lot more personal for him than the rest of us," Natasha explained.

They sat silent for a few minutes, staring out the window.

"I have a question-" Loki said at the same moment that Natasha said "What about the-" they both stopped.

"You go first," Loki said quickly.

"We lost track of the question of the mementos," she explained.

"Right," Loki frowned. "I swear I didn't put them there."

"I believe you," Natasha agreed, "because you're still here if nothing else. But that still leaves the question of how they got there."

Loki chewed on her lip, thinking. "When something is vanished, it doesn't just cease to exist," she explained, and pulled a pencil, the last thing she had vanished, from thin air. "It goes somewhere, sometimes to another dimension. It's possible, when I vanished those things, they went to the box. But I wasn't even aware of its existence until a couple weeks ago!"

Natasha frowned. "Then how did those things get there?"

She was quiet a minute. "I think... Maybe the difference between Him and me isn't as clear cut as I'd like." She glanced at Natasha, clearly unhappy with the idea.

"Sometimes, usually right after we switch, I feel... different. Like last time, when you were sparring, I felt tired."

"Well you do share a body, so that makes sense," Natasha offered.

Loki nodded. "And it also explains this morning, when I..." she blushed and trailed off. "But it's not just physical. Sometimes someone will say or do something, and it will make me laugh or get angry and I don't know why. I mean, given that he remembers everything, I suppose he's in here somewhere," she touched her forehead, "and I hate it. Some days I feel like he's trying to push me out."

Natasha sighed. "What were you going to ask me?"

"Oh that. It's something Clint said, about not being able to afford the lifestyle you wanted. Is that really true? Because other than His poker winnings, we're pretty much broke."

She frowned. "You didn't get paid for the mission in Poland?"

Loki shook her head. "I made an agreement with Fury that I'll start getting paid when I work off all the expenses the attack caused."

She let out a long breath. "That's a lot of money..."

"My restoration work goes toward it," she added hopefully, "and that's a big thing. But yeah, I'll probably owe my soul to the company store for a long time. It doesn't

bother me, because I can summon whatever I need, but..." she paused. "Well, the first thing He asked for was money."

Natasha laughed at the use of the antiquated expression. "No, it's not true. Not that I don't enjoy some of the perks of rubbing elbows with the quality, if you can call rich people these days that, but there have been times in my life I've made do with less than nothing."

"Then why does Clint think that?" Loki wondered.

She sighed, staring at her hands. "I let him. The truth is, I knew I was bad for him. He needed someone who would cheer him up, not wallow in the darkness. And that's just not who I am."

Loki's eyes narrowed. "So... he needs someone cheerful..."

Natasha nodded, smiling. "But smart. He's dated a couple vapid girls and it just doesn't work."

"And it would need to be someone who knew about SHIELD so they wouldn't get angry when he left on short notice for long periods of time..." she tapped a finger to her lips.

She looked at Loki, suspicious. "What are you thinking?"

Loki smiled. "I have a fabulous idea. Let's call Pepper."

* * *

"I don't think this is such a good idea," Darcy called from the dressing room.

"Oh don't worry, you'll do fine," Pepper assured her, trying not to laugh.

Darcy walked out, smoothing her hands over the dress. "It's just... I'm not a spy or anything."

Pepper fluttered a hand. "You don't have to do any spying. You're just arm candy, part of the disguise. What do you think?" She gestured to the mirror behind her.

Darcy moved so she could see her reflection. She wore a navy blue halter-top dress that went down to her knees and fitted her like a glove. The front of it was encrusted with glittering white crystals. "Whoa..." she said softly, turning so she could see the back, where the crystals met and trailed down to the hem in swirls. "I _am _arm candy," she grinned.

Pepper smiled. "Well, that's Jovani for you. Here," she handed her a pair of shoes.

Darcy's face lit up. "Are these Prada?"

Pepper looked very amused. "Of course. You can't play the part without the correct props."

She raised an eyebrow. "Even the La Perla?"

"_Especially _the La Perla. It's amazing what some really expensive unmentionables will do for a girl's confidence," she murmured conspiratorially.

Darcy looked in the mirror again. It was like something out of her dreams. "This is way better than prom," she admitted.

Pepper laughed. "So that's a yes, then?"

"Uh, duh!" Darcy grinned.

"Ok, let's go get your hair done, then!" Pepper said, fishing out her credit card. Some days she really loved being rich.

* * *

Clint paced in the front hall of the restaurant. Natasha was late. Natasha was never late. He tugged at the lapel of his suit jacket-he never felt comfortable in these getups. Suddenly his phone beeped, and he whipped it out of his pocket. It was a text from Natasha.

_Hey, I can't make it tonight, situation down in Bosnia. No sense wasting the reservation, so I'm sending a friend instead. Order whatever you want, I'm blackmailing the owner._

He groaned. Some days he really hated his job. When Natasha had offered to go to dinner with him, part of him knew it was too good to be true. She was really only trying to apologize for-

"Clint Barton? Hi!"

He looked up to see an unfamiliar girl holding out her hand and smiling at him. He took her hand, surprised. She shook it.

"I'm Darcy Lewis. I'm Natasha's replacement," she explained. She glanced around the restaurant. The lights were dim and live piano music drifted across the diners. "Jeez, this place is swanky. I'm not used to this kind of thing. How do I look?" she asked nervously.

Clint took a moment to look her over, from her perfectly coiffed hair to her peep-toe pumps. "You look... gorgeous," he admitted, grinning.

She returned the grin. "Thanks!"

At this point a waiter appeared and directed them to their table. He left them with menus, promising to be right back. They both opened the menus.

Clint sighed heavily, and Darcy squinted at the words, then opened her eyes wide when she saw the prices.

"I gotta be honest," she said, eyebrows raised. "I don't know what half of this stuff _is_."

"Me either," Clint admitted. "Usually Natasha orders. We could just pick something random?" he suggested.

She shrugged. "Sure. I guess it doesn't really matter what we eat, anyway."

Clint frowned. "Why not?"

"Well _you know_," she said under her breath. "That's not why we're _here_. Who are we tailing, anyway? Is it the fat guy in the corner? I saw you eyeball him when we came in. Is he some kind of arms dealer, or something?"

He just stared at her.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I talk way too much. Shutting up now." Darcy pressed her lips together tightly.

Clint started laughing.

She frowned. "What? What did I say?"

He shook his head, wiping at his eyes. "You think we're on a mission? Who told you that?"

Darcy blinked rapidly. "Pepper. She said you had a thing to do, but then Natasha had to do this other thing, and you needed arm candy to make it look real."

Clint only laughed harder, drawing the attention of surrounding tables. "Miss Lewis, we have been set up," he managed to say.

Darcy frowned a minute. "Oh my god... this is a blind date, isn't it?"

"Yes," Clint agreed, still shaking with laughter. Darcy laughed with him this time.

"Well, gee, they could have just _asked_ me, you know. It's not like I need an excuse to do the Cinderella treatment. Plus, you've got the whole James Bond thing going on, it's not like torture or anything."

He grinned at the comparison. "You know what, let's ditch this place," he suggested, tossing his menu on the table. "It's not my speed, and under the 'Cinderella' getup, I think you're a burger and fries kinda girl."

Darcy lifted her chin. "I take that as the highest of compliments."

"I know a great place," he said, standing and holding out a hand.

She took it. "Lead away, oh knower of the fries," she said dramatically. They left laughing, completely ignoring the looks from the other diners.

* * *

"I wonder who set us up," Clint said aloud.

Darcy had been regaling him with the story of her whirlwind shopping trip. Her milkshake had arrived and she was struggling to get it up the straw. The sight was highly distracting to Clint, so he was desperate for a new conversation topic.

"Natasha and Pepper, obviously," Darcy paused long enough to say.

"Well, yeah, but it's not the sort of thing Natasha would usually do," he argued.

"Oh, it's right up Pepper's alley. She's such a gossip, and I'm not much better," she admitted.

Clint raised his eyebrows. "She'll be thrilled this week then," he said sarcastically.

Darcy's eyes narrowed. "Ooh, you know something, don't you?"

He sat back, crossing his arms, lips sealed.

She rolled her eyes. "Ok, Mr. Superspy, obviously I'm not going to wheedle it out of you, so I'll just have to use deductive reasoning!"

He lifted an eyebrow. "Try it, Sherlock."

"Let's see... it's gotta be something juicy..." she paused, mentally ticking off the various potential relationships among their little circle. "It can't be Steve and Maria... No, it's something that pissed you off..." She paused when she hit on the right one, looking up at Clint with eyes wide. "No way..." she grinned. "Loki and Natasha?"

He let out a long breath, as if he had been holding it. "How do you do that?"

She shrugged. "Wait, are we talking about Guy Loki or Femme Loki?"

Clint gave her an incredulous look.

"What? It's the 21st century, you know," she grinned.

He shook his head. "You have a dirty mind, Miss Lewis."

She grinned and waggled her eyebrows at him. "You don't know the half of it. And I told you, call me Darcy. Ooh, look, our food's here."

The waitress set down two plates overflowing with fries and enormous hamburgers.

"That is a thing of beauty," Darcy said in an awed voice.

"Tastes good, too," Clint joked, biting into his own.

She picked up the burger with both hands, and sank her teeth in. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she moaned. "Oh, god," she mumbled around the mouthful.

Clint's mouth went dry, and he nearly choked on his food. God help him, he _liked _this girl. "Try the fries," he suggested.

She put down the burger and popped a fry in her mouth. "Mmm. Man, this is more calories than I usually eat in a week," she admitted.

He shrugged. "Well I guess we'll just have to go dancing next then," he suggested.

Her eyes lit up. "Like, clubbing? I've never been. Things are pretty dead in New Mexico."

Clint grinned. "Sure thing. You'll love it." He watched with amusement as she drizzled ketchup all over her fries and dug in. Silently, he resolved to thank Pepper personally. This was _exactly _what he needed to turn around a really shitty week. Top it off with the opportunity to kick Loki's ass, and it was actually looking pretty good.

* * *

_**A/N: **__So if you're curious what Darcy's dress is like, do a search for Jovani 72732. It's the blue knee-length one. I love Darcy, and this was way too much fun to write. ^w^_

_A few clarifications for confused readers (and I'm sorry for being overly subtle, if I have): In chapter 37, the lie which caused Loki to switch was when he said "Of course not!" in response to Tony's questioning whether Loki was "falling for" Natasha. In chapter 38, the reason Femme Loki laughs at the comment from Clint concerning lip-biting is because Dude Loki remembers when (in Chapter 36) Natasha did a lot of lip-biting. He finds the fact that Clint's attempt to make him feel inadequate backfired so hilarious that it breaks through Femme Loki's personality. Hope that makes sense._

_Again, thank you so much for all your time spent reading and reviews, I love every single one of them! Next Wednesday, see what happens when Loki and Clint go toe-to-toe in "Showdown."_


	41. Showdown

_This chapter is dedicated to my Mom. More on that at the end. Theme song is "Too Close" by Alex Clare, which I think is perfect for the Loki-Natasha-Clint triangle. _

* * *

**Chapter 41: Showdown**

When Clint arrived at the gym on Monday morning, Loki was already there, waiting for him.

Just not the Loki he wanted to see.

"I wanted to say something before I go," she explained.

He dropped his bag and sat on the other end of the bench, glaring at her.

"I've been thinking about this a lot. It's new for me too, you know. But I know him better than you do," she argued.

"Maybe," he interrupted. "I remember a lot of the nasty things he did that you don't."

She shook her head. "I know. But honestly, they don't seem real. I remember what I was like before, and those things just don't sound like something I would do."

Belatedly, Clint remembered what He had told him, about being controlled by the tesseract. It was clear from the way she spoke that Femme Loki had no idea. Perhaps _that _was what she had forgotten, the influence that had led him to do such terrible things. "Go on."

She sighed. "Lately it's like... I don't know. Like I can feel what he feels, sometimes. I think his intentions toward Natasha are genuine, for what it's worth."

He scowled. "Are you saying he _loves _her?"

Loki looked away. "It's not that simple."

"Sure it is," he crossed his arms. "It's a yes or no question: Does he love her?"

She frowned. "It's not that he doesn't love her..." she looked back at him, "It's that he thinks himself incapable of loving anyone."

"I'm inclined to agree."

She huffed. "What I'm trying to say is he's not out to hurt her-"

"Is the 'contingency plan' on the list of things you don't remember, now?" he interrupted again.

"Ugh! You know what I mean!" she shouted.

"No, I don't. I really don't," Clint said, suddenly serious.

Loki sighed. "As long as He seeks her...attentions, for lack of a better word, nothing will harm her. He wouldn't let it, His pride wouldn't allow it. You know how difficult an enemy he was. She'll have the best protection possible."

He stared down at the bench. "And if it's Him she needs protecting from?"

"I think she can handle that on her own. Natasha!" she said the last loudly, surprised.

He looked up to see the subject of their discussion walk into the room.

"I... I didn't know you were coming," Loki stuttered.

Clint didn't even notice the change until he heard Loki's dark chuckle.

"You fell for that?" he asked.

He glared at him, then looked back at Natasha. "_I _didn't know."

She shrugged. "Someone has to keep you two from killing each other," she said reasonably.

Loki stood, walking over to the padded sparring area. "Let's get this over with," he grumbled.

Clint stood as well, rubbing his hands together. Once Loki had reached the center, he turned, opening his arms, a sarcastic look on his face as if to say 'come and get me, if you can.' Clint knew Loki was doing it to make him angry. Unfortunately, it was working. He rushed at him, expecting to bowl him over. Instead it was like running into a lamppost. He backed off and took a couple swings, which Loki dodged effortlessly.

"Are you gonna fight, or are you just gonna impersonate the Matrix all day?" Clint demanded.

Loki smiled, moving out of the way of another punch. "I just want you to feel like you're doing well," he teased.

Clint feinted another punch and then kicked Loki above the knee, staggering him. He looked genuinely impressed. "Very good, Barton."

By this time Clint's training had kicked in, and he ignored Loki's taunting, launching a complex attack that Loki actually had to think to counter. It ended when Clint caught Loki's arm behind his back in a hammer lock.

"I really don't recommend holds against a stronger opponent," he said calmly.

"Why not?" Clint growled.

Loki sighed and straightened out his arm, which sent Clint flying across the room. He managed a tight shoulder roll, coming up on his feet and immediately launching into another attack.

* * *

Fury's phone rang, and he was surprised to see Tony Stark's name on the caller ID. Stark never called, which meant it was either a prank or an emergency. He sighed heavily and picked up the phone. "This better be good, Stark."

"Oh it is," Tony said gleefully. The large screen TV on the wall Fury was facing turned on, showing a live feed from the security camera in the gym. "I thought you'd like to see this."

He watched as Agent Barton went hell-for-leather at Loki while Natasha stood by, arms crossed. It could have been regular training, but Barton looked genuinely pissed, and that was not something Fury saw often. "Get down here," he said shortly, and hung up. He stood, making another phone call as he walked around his desk.

"Rowena Bryardie," she answered.

"Are you currently with a client?" Fury asked quickly.

"No sir," she answered, obviously recognizing his tone.

"Come to my office immediately," he ordered, and hung up again.

Both Tony and Rowena arrived at the same time. Tony gave her a dirty look, but was too gleeful at the mayhem on-screen to be truly disappointed.

"What is going on here?" Fury demanded, gesturing to the screen.

"Natasha and Loki did the nasty," Tony crowed. "Looks like the Hawk doesn't much like the idea."

"I am aware of that," Fury growled, "As Barton saw fit to inform me last week. Why are they at each other's throats _now_?"

Tony shrugged. "It's the beginning of His week. Clint seems like the type who doesn't like hitting girls."

Meanwhile, Rowena had been staring at the screen. "I'm not sure they're really fighting."

Tony rolled his eyes. "What, you see something in your crystal ball, _Doctor_?"

She ignored him. "Obviously Clint is emotionally involved, or he'd be doing better, but watch Loki carefully. There. See that move, that should have broken his arm. But Loki chose to merely demonstrate that he _could _have broken it. He's... he's teaching him how to fight an opponent that far outclasses him in strength."

Tony and Fury stared intently at the screen. "She's right," Fury gave Tony a look.

Tony looked to Rowena. "How did you know that?"

She grinned and crossed her arms. "I am a woman of many talents, Mr. Stark. I know Kung Fu."

Both he and Fury looked skeptical.

She frowned. "Tai Chi is a form of Kung Fu," she argued. "It just doesn't sound as cool."

* * *

Clint picked himself back up off the mats again. "This is stupid," he said.

"I'm glad you're getting the picture," Loki agreed. "Shall we try archery instead? We're far more likely to be matched in that."

Clint wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "This isn't Robin Hood, asshole. We're not competing for a kiss from Maid Marian," he glanced over at Natasha. "No offense."

She smiled. "None taken."

"Then what is this about?" Loki sighed, exasperated.

"It was supposed to be about kicking your ass," Clint growled.

Loki thought about that a moment. "Then may I suggest you appoint a second?"

He frowned. "A second?"

"Someone to fight in your place. Preferably someone who is strong enough to properly 'kick my ass' as you put it," he explained.

Clint frowned. Ideally, he would like to do it himself, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. "Like who?"

"Thor?" Natasha suggested.

Loki laughed, "He's certainly capable, but I'm afraid he won't side with you."

"How about Steve?" Clint asked.

Natasha frowned. "No, he wouldn't support fighting in the ranks," she argued.

They all stood silent a moment, none of them even wanted to mention Bruce.

"Tony," Loki said finally. "With the suit."

Clint scowled. "Isn't he your friend?"

"He's Her friend. Me, I'm not so sure. And he does love playing with his toys. It might be cathartic for him as well," Loki suggested.

He thought about it. Clint wasn't really close with Tony... although to be honest, the only Avenger he would really describe himself as 'close' to was Natasha. And Tony had admitted to him once that he, too, had nightmares. "Ok." He went over to his gear bag and pulled out his phone.

* * *

"Who is he calling?" Rowena wondered out loud.

Suddenly the sound of an eagle's scream filled the office, and Tony pulled out his phone, grinning. "Hey Birdman," he answered.

On the screen, they could see Clint roll his eyes. "You're needed in the gym," he said shortly. "Bring the suit."

"Sure thing," Tony said cheerfully. "Be right there." He hung up the phone, grinning at Fury and Rowena. "The plot thickens," he tapped his fingertips together, and left.

* * *

Tony sauntered into the room casually. "Well what have we here?"

"I told you to bring the suit," Clint complained.

"It's on its way, actually, but I don't think I'll be using it."

Loki raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"For one thing, Mommy doesn't like it when I play ball indoors. Stuff gets broken," he said mock-seriously.

"Mommy?" Natasha drawled.

Tony pointed to one corner of the ceiling. "Smile, you're on candid camera. And for another thing," he came to a stop in front of Clint, "As much as I like you, buddy, I'm not gonna fight your battles for you. I get it. You're unhappy because Little Red Riding Hood is shacking up with the Big Bad Wolf. But I got news for you, Tasha's a big girl, she can handle herself. She doesn't need the Huntsman to come and save her."

Clint glared at him. "I know that."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "I'm not sure you do. I think that's what scares you. Which is why I propose," he turned around, "that Natasha do the fighting."

Everyone turned to face her. "Me?" she asked, unfazed.

"Yup. I think we will all sleep easier knowing that you can hand his ass to him. Possibly Loki included." Tony gave Loki an inquisitive glance.

Surprisingly, Loki agreed. "Seems fitting, especially as we are not, as you pointed out, competing for her." He looked to Natasha.

She nodded her head to the side. "Fine, but no pulling punches this time."

Loki sighed heavily. "If you like."

Clint looked between them. He could see Tony's point, but there was a flaw in this plan: if Natasha didn't win, the end result was Loki hurting her, which was precisely what he didn't want to see happen. But before he could say anything, Natasha turned in a vicious roundhouse kick, which Loki barely jumped back from.

As they fought, Loki realized that Natasha _had _been pulling her punches in the past, or at least she had been reserving her more deadly attacks. She got inside his guard and landed several knuckle punches, which could have broken his small ribs and pierced a lung if he had been human. Out of sheer reflex he backhanded her, but she moved with the strike, bending over and executing a perfect scorpion kick which hit him in the side of the head. She flipped away, and Loki went on the offensive.

He pressed her backwards with a series of kicks and strikes, until she caught his foot. She lifted it in an attempt to flip him, but Loki continued with the momentum and landed on his feet again.

"No holds, remember?" he said breathlessly.

"Right," she moved forward, lashing out with kicks, since they were her longest-ranging attacks. He jumped a swipe at his ankles, and accurately predicted she would kick high next. He ducked low and knocked her supporting leg out from under her. She fell badly, wincing.

Loki sighed and held out a hand to help her up. Natasha huffed, defeated, and reached up to take his offered hand. But as soon as she had ahold of it, she planted a foot in his stomach and pulled him over, using his momentum to flip over him and land in a crouch between his feet. She grabbed both ankles and then planted her foot at his weakest point, stopping at the last possible second.

"Natasha, I'm all for dirty fighting," he said quickly, "but please don't."

She narrowed her eyes. "Then yield."

He balked, and she pressed her foot down just a fraction more.

"I yield!" he said rather louder than necessary.

She let go, backing off, and he collapsed against the mat. Upside down, he could see a very amused Clint and Tony.

"She would, you know," Clint said. "I've seen her do it."

"I believe you," Loki said darkly. He stood, brushing himself off. "Satisfied?"

Clint shook his head. "It'll do."

He turned to Natasha and bowed deeply. "My apologies for any injury I may have caused you, my Lady," he said formally.

She seemed to bristle at that, still gasping for breath. "I'll see you later," she said shortly, and stormed off.

* * *

Up in his office, Fury sighed in relief and sat back in his chair. "Do I need to make a new company policy against office romances?" he asked Rowena.

She shrugged. "They're adults. They have a right to mess up their own lives if they like." She turned back to the screen, thinking. "They're broken, but there might be enough pieces to make a whole somewhere. I think it could work very well, once Barton gets over it. She knows them both intimately, and if Clint takes the time to remember, he worked very closely with Loki. Loki, at least in this form, has literally been inside his head. They each specialize in a different sort of fighting, Clint at long range, Loki at midrange, and Natasha in close. They would make one hell of a strike team. Anyone they went after together would be screwed."

He thought about it. It made a lot of sense.

"Just don't ever put Natasha in a position where she has to choose between SHIELD and Loki," she suggested.

Fury frowned. "You don't think she'd pick Loki-"

"No, she will choose her duty without a second thought. But I'm not sure how Loki would react to that," she warned.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Right."

* * *

_**A/N: **__Yes, I dedicated a chapter of an M-rated BlackFrost Fanfic to my mother. Why? Because she helped me write it. This was originally supposed to turn into a three-way fight between Loki, Natasha, and Clint, but despite the badassery of that image, I couldn't make it work. I talked to my mom, who reads this story (awesome but at times weird lol), and she suggested that someone else get involved in the conversation. We proceeded to have almost exactly the same conversation here about seconds, finally settling on Tony as the most likely candidate. Plus, Tony says all the fun things. My mom is awesome._

_I want to know what you guys thought of the fight, since action writing is not my forte, so review away! Constructive criticism is my favorite thing. _

_Next Saturday, Loki thinks about what he's done in Chapter 42: Reflections._


	42. Reflections

_The theme song for this chapter is "Stay" by Rihanna, which I heard on the radio for the first time the other day and instantly thought of BlackFrost. I love moments like that. Also, a warning that there is mature sexiness in this chapter. Once Natasha has said her piece you'll probably want to skip to the next line break if you're looking to avoid that._

* * *

**Chapter 42: Reflections**

After excusing himself from the gym, Loki took a page from Clint's book and went looking for a quiet place to brood. It proved a little difficult-Stark Tower was a busy place. Eventually, inevitably he supposed, he found himself on the roof, staring at his favorite silver tower.

His counterpart had already done much of the thinking for him. She had spent the week agonizing over the external consequences of a relationship between him and Natasha, how it would affect the team, what those in Asgard would think. He cared little for such things, except for how it might make things difficult for Natasha. In his headlong pursuit of her, he had forgotten that there might be anything more in it for her than the pleasure of bedding him.

So now he tried to think of it from her perspective. Aside from pleasure, what did he really have to offer her? He had little money, no magic, and very little influence. He wasn't even a terribly pleasant person to be around, he knew that much. He had bothered Natasha relentlessly, almost forced her hand in the matter. It had been a battle of wills, and now that he had won he liked himself less for it.

And yet... He found himself drawn to her, almost magnetically, and he was unsure if he could ignore that pull. She was like a deep well of which he had tasted only the slightest drop, and now thirsted all the more. The glimpses into her complicated past that she had revealed to his female self only served to peak his curiosity.

Loki knew he was a selfish person. It had never bothered him much—he had to look out for himself, after all. And he had ruined many a young girl, with less than a thought as to the consequences. So why was he suddenly so reluctant to be selfish with Natasha, who was neither innocent nor naïve? He supposed it was because he had been surrounded by such damnably _good _people, Natasha included. They made him want to be like them, and it only served to make his self-loathing worse.

He sighed, and judged by the angle of the sun that it was late afternoon. He would go home and brood in the privacy of his own room. The corner of his mouth twitched upward when he thought of his box of mementos. They were his way of reminding himself that he was the _real _Loki, that he still exerted some bit of control when She was running the show. But he would have to be more careful, more subtle from now on.

* * *

When he reached his apartment door, he fished in his pocket for the key, reluctantly grateful that they finally trusted him enough to give him a copy. Before he got the door open, though, Natasha poked her head out of her own.

"Can we talk?" she asked quietly.

"Of course," he nodded, and re-locked his door before walking to hers.

She shut the door quietly behind him, and then crossed her arms. "This morning, after the fight, you apologized," she reminded him.

"Yes?" he frowned, remembering how she had seemed put out.

"Don't do that. Especially in front of the guys. I'm not a china doll, and I don't appreciate being treated like one," she complained.

He ran a hand through his hair, and let out a breath. "Alright. I understand."

She smiled. "Good." And without another word, she shoved him against the wall and began kissing him.

"Natasha," he gasped between kisses, "Stop. No."

She ignored him, her nimble fingers beginning to unbutton his shirt. She got to the third button before he caught her hands in his.

"I thought you said 'no means no,' remember?"

Natasha looked up at him, eyes hooded and a sly smirk in the corners of her mouth. "But you don't mean it. You're just saying that to make me go away."

Loki stared at her a moment longer, and then grinned. "What in the nine realms did I do to deserve you?" he laughed. He buried his face in her neck, releasing her hands to press her against him tightly.

"Probably something very bad," she joked, resuming her efforts to get his shirt off. Once she had succeeded in undoing all the buttons, she slipped her hands under the edges of the shirt, sliding them along his chest and over his shoulders, pushing it out of the way as she went.

As soon as he had freed his hands from the sleeves, Loki grabbed Natasha by the hips, turning to press her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her fingers into his hair, returning his hungry kisses with equal vigor. He tore his lips away from hers, breathing hard.

"Couch or bed?" he asked breathlessly.

Natasha eyed the couch. It was a little small. "Floor?" she suggested. "Kitchen table?" she raised an eyebrow.

Loki hummed appreciatively, pressing his hips against hers. "Maybe later." Lifting her effortlessly, he moved to the wall beside her bedroom door, still kissing her as he reached around the corner and hit the switch to close the curtains. Picking her up again, he carried her into the room and kicked the door shut behind him. The thick curtains blocked most, but not all of the light. It wasn't candlelight, but it would do. He fell onto the bed, Natasha beneath him.

Almost immediately, she rolled so she was on top, and started to lift her t-shirt over her head. Loki stopped her as soon as the collar cleared her lips, trapping her arms inside the fabric and keeping her blindfolded. She chuckled, but played along, holding still as he brushed his lips across hers softly. He reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra, sliding his hand under the loosened fabric and trailing his fingertips around the curve of her ribs. When he just barely brushed the swell of her breast, she moaned and arched against him.

"More," she gasped.

He grinned and released her hands so that he could comply with both of his. She whipped off the shirt and threw away her bra, before taking hold of a double handful of his hair as he added his lips, tongue and teeth to the work his hands had begun. She moaned, grinding her teeth at the mix of pain and pleasure. Her hips began to move almost of their own accord, and she cursed.

Loki paused, glancing up at her.

"Pants," she said, pouting.

He chuckled and let her up, quickly unbuckling his belt and removing his own. She took her time about it, though, sliding them over her hips slowly and stepping out of them, before repeating the process with her panties even more slowly. He watched, licking his lips. When she was finally done, he caught her around the waist and tossed her onto the bed with a growl.

She giggled, and then gasped as he pushed her legs apart and pressed into her all at once. She clutched at his shoulders and he stilled, cursing. "You make me do this," he whispered harshly. It was not quite an apology.

Natasha only smiled deviously, tilting her hips up toward him and dragging her fingertips down his back. "And you make me want more," she murmured.

Loki slid a hand under her back and clutched her to him tightly for a moment before he began to move inside her. "I shall endeavor to rise to your expectations, then," he teased.

* * *

Loki played idly with a strand of Natasha's hair, his legs and arms entwined with hers. She was drowsing, finally sated.

"I've been thinking…" he said softly.

"Mmm? That's usually a bad thing at this point," she murmured.

He chuckled. "Why do you do this? Is this like… like what Clint did for you? Are you just giving me the control I need?"

Natasha opened her pale green eyes and stared at him. "No, Loki. Besides, I pretty much jumped you."

"Yes, but why?" he persisted.

She rolled her eyes. "It's really not that complicated. I'm in it for the sex."

He gave her a doubting look.

"The kinky, rough, crazy sex. Can't get it like that anywhere else."

At last, he grinned. Flattery got him every time. "Even if it's against your better judgment?"

She frowned. "It's _not. _Loki, you didn't trick me into this. You're good, but you're not _that _good. I chose this. It wouldn't have happened any other way. So stop beating yourself up about it," she ordered. "That's my job, apparently."

He closed his eyes and pulled her closer, so her head lay against his chest, tucked under his chin. She nuzzled her face against him a moment and sighed. It wasn't truly a lie, she did enjoy the sex. But was that really all there was to it? If not, she had to be careful not to let him see. A part of her, the Black Widow part, mocked her for it already. She couldn't take it from him too. Love is a lie, he had told her, and she knew it was true.

Loki placed a kiss on top of Natasha's head when she sighed. It felt good to hold her to him like this, where, in the protection of his arms, he could pretend he had some claim on her. What would she think if she knew he felt this way? Love is for children, she had said, and he had agreed. He had sworn he was incapable of the emotion—so what was this that pulled at his chest, irrationally making him want to protect this woman who was perfectly capable of doing it herself?

* * *

_**A/N: **__Short chapter for today, but I think important stuff still happened. I'm currently working on outlining the remainder of the story, and it's looking like it's going to be around 85-90 chapters, so we're only half way through!_

_I'm curious if there's anything specific you guys would like to see happen, leave me a review and I'll see if I can work it in somewhere!_

_On Wednesday, we begin the next part of the story with Chapter 43: An Announcement._


	43. An Announcement

_As I mentioned on Saturday, this chapter begins a new section of the story, which is a lot more light-hearted than the rest. It will only last for about ten chapters, though, and then we'll get back to the angsty broodiness lol._

_The theme song for this chapter is "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. Just for fun._

* * *

**Chapter 43: An Announcement**

From the floor, Natasha's cell phone beeped. She lifted her head immediately, and made a small sound of complaint before sitting up. She made to stand, when Loki caught her around the waist and pulled her back, pinning her under him and playfully biting her shoulder.

She smiled, but rolled her eyes. "Loki, my phone beeped."

From the other side of the room, a single pizzicato note sounded from Loki's phone as well. He paused for a half second, and then began nibbling at her ear. "It can wait," he purred.

She shoved at him half-heartedly. "No it can't. It's probably SHIELD."

He pinned her more securely. "I don't care."

Natasha huffed and made a more serious attempt to leave, but Loki still wouldn't let her go. She frowned at him, and he merely smiled, a challenge clear in his eyes.

_Fine_, she thought, _I can play this game._ She began to struggle in earnest, but he had the advantage in strength and used it effortlessly. He chuckled darkly, tilting his hips against her, and she could feel precisely how much he was enjoying this.

A thought occurred to her, and she changed tactics. She made her struggles less realistic, whimpering and wriggling against him provocatively. He responded immediately, groaning and capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. She played along a little more, before pretending to lose interest in escaping. Eventually he released his hold on her, and she flipped him onto his back. For one brief moment he grinned, waiting to see what she would do next. Then she rolled away and off the bed, casually sauntering over to her phone.

Loki cursed and sat up as well, panting. "You're going to pay for that, little spider," he threatened.

"Maybe later," she said absently. The text message on her phone was from Tony, mysteriously asking her to come to his office at 8 pm. She looked at the time at the top of the screen—7:45. "Shit," she cursed, and started grabbing her clothes.

Loki sighed heavily, looking just a little repentant. He got up and checked his own phone, gathering his clothes as well. "What...?" he asked, bemused by the message.

"I don't know, but we're going to be late," she said darkly.

* * *

Natasha drove her motorcycle like Loki had never seen her do before, dodging between cars and ignoring traffic lights entirely. He had never cared for riding pillion, but with his arms around Natasha, leaning low over the bike, it was exhilarating. They made it to Stark Tower in record time, but it was still 8:01 when they walked in the front doors.

The elevator ride was fraught with simmering tension, as Natasha struggled to keep her expression blank, inwardly seething at Loki's amused smirk. She was gorgeous when she was angry, and he eyed the stop button on the elevator console longingly. But alas, duty called. When the doors opened, the waiting room was empty and quiet. Natasha strode forward clearly, almost stomping, and pushed through the door to the office proper.

She stopped short, however, when she saw the room was nearly full of people. All of the Avengers, plus Director Fury, Agent Hill, Dr. Bryardie, Pepper, Jane, and Darcy. What was going on?

"Oh good, you're here," Pepper said pleasantly.

"Sorry—" Natasha began, but Loki stepped up behind her and interrupted.

"My fault entirely, I'm afraid. As I have no transportation of my own, Natasha had to give me a ride." He said it without a trace of innuendo, but Tony sniggered and Clint glared.

Natasha closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "What is this about?" she asked in a no-nonsense voice.

"Right!" Tony clapped his hands together loudly. "I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here," he said melodramatically. "Pepper and I have an announcement to make." He turned to Pepper, who smiled nervously.

"As you know, Tony and I have been engaged for some time. We were _supposed _to have a big, fancy wedding come December..." she began

"But who wants all the fuss and paparazzi?" Tony joked.

"So... with a little persuasion from Darcy," she gave a smile to her new assistant, "We've decided to elope."

"And you're all invited!" Tony said excitedly.

There was some laughing and a few claps. Steve gave a shake of his head. "How is that eloping?" he joked.

"Times change, old man," Tony joked back. "I have... acquired a private island in the South Pacific. I think it's high time we took that vacation! Housing's a little tight, but I think we can squeeze you all in."

"That won't be necessary," Fury said, a little amused. "I'm afraid I don't have time for a vacation right now, especially if you're all going to be gone for..."

"A week," Tony filled in. "That's cool, just didn't want you to feel left out."

Fury chuckled and made his way out of the office.

"I'm afraid I will have to decline as well," Rowena piped up. "I'm flattered, a little surprised really..."

Tony jerked a thumb in Pepper's direction. "Her idea, not mine."

"...but it wouldn't be appropriate. Plus, I do have other clients to see. Not many, but a few," she reminded them.

"But what if I have a nervous breakdown?" Tony whined, jerking her chain.

She pressed her lips together to fight a smile. "Then you can _call _me. Any of you can call me whenever you like, don't worry about the time difference." She gave Bruce a meaningful look.

"Thank you, Dr. Bryardie," Bruce said quietly, "But I'm not sure I'll be able to go."

"Aw, come on," Tony said, seriously this time. "I was gonna ask you to be my best man!"

"Well, I'm honored, but I assume you'll be flying there?" he asked, a little uneasily.

"Two planes," Pepper explained. "One for the guys and one for the girls."

Loki shifted in his seat uncomfortably, but no one noticed. Bruce adjusted his glasses. "I don't do so well with planes," he admitted.

"You could always go sedated," Rowena suggested.

"You can't prescribe medication," Tony pointed out.

Rowena rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, I forgot, I'll have to consult a medical doctor." She pretended to look around the room, stopping back at Bruce. "Dr. Banner!"

"Yes, Dr. Bryardie?" he played along.

"I have a client who has some anxiety about flying, and I think he would benefit from some tranquilizers. He has an unusual medical history, though. What do you recommend?"

He laced his hands over this stomach, grinning. "Well, considering his... condition, I think I would recommend elephant tranquilizers. Hey Tony, do you know where I can get some elephant tranquilizers? Dr. Bryardie's client needs some." Everyone laughed.

Tony rolled his eyes, but grinned. "Yeah, alright."

Rowena waved, and left as well.

"Anyone else?" Pepper asked kindly.

Maria bit her lip, but then shook her head. "I have 62 days of leave saved up," she admitted. "I think Fury can manage without me for a week." She glanced at Steve and smiled a little.

No one else spoke up. "Great! Jarvis, take the party poopers off the guest list and pull up the room assignments."

"Of course, sir." A map of the island appeared on the wall behind Tony's desk. There were a series of one-bedroom structures, most of them with two names beside them. One listed only Bruce, and one was empty.

"Wait a minute," Steve said, sitting forward when he saw his name listed beside Maria's.

"I must object as well," Thor laughed, finding his name next to Jane.

"Jeez, you guys are quite the matchmakers," Darcy rolled her eyes at the little house labeled 'Clint and Darcy.' "I'll fix it." She hopped up, and began swiping the names around. "Let's see. Jane and I can room together, and Clint can stay with Steve. Maria can have her own room." She stepped back.

Thor frowned at the diagram. "I suppose Loki could stay with me then," he suggested.

Loki snorted. "Oh, She'll be _thrilled_," he pointed out.

Thor blushed, and frowned deeper. "Oh." He stared harder at the map, thinking.

Natasha crossed her arms, smiling. "I appreciate the chivalry, Thor, but you don't need to break anything. I don't mind sharing with Loki."

Thor looked at her, bemused. He looked to Loki, and his smug smile. "You said you hadn't—" he started.

"I said no such thing," Loki interrupted. "I said it was impolite for you to assume."

Thor looked around the room and saw no surprised faces, and laughed.

"Wait how is it _I _know about this and you don't?" Steve demanded.

Loki frowned. "I don't know, how _is _it that you all know?"

Steve looked at Maria, who pointedly looked away.

Thor turned to Jane, who laughed. "I thought you knew! Darcy told me."

Everyone looked at Darcy. "I tortured Clint," she announced. Surprisingly, Clint laughed.

"What about you, Dr. Banner?" Thor asked.

Tony spoke up. "After Clint's temper tantrum this morning, I figured it was public knowledge. So of _course _I had to call my bestie and share the gossip."

Bruce chuckled.

Loki shared a look with Natasha that said _so much for secrets, huh_? "Well that settles it," he announced. "I have just one question."

Everyone looked to him, curious.

He smiled wryly. "Which plane am I going on?"

* * *

_**A/N: **__This chapter was way hard to write. It's always really hard to write scenes with that many people in them, and make sure everyone has a couple lines. It's one of the reasons I respect Joss Whedon so much, he's really good at working with large casts (dinnertime on board the _Serenity,_ anyone?)._

_I've been in a bit of a writing slump lately (don't worry, I've still got about a month's worth of buffer chapters) and I could really use a little encouragement. I've never written a story this long, and finishing things isn't really my forte. You guys leave the best reviews, here and on Pity for the Devil, and I really appreciate it. Any kind of review helps, but especially anything in-depth always makes me inspired. Don't be afraid to criticize, either! I always see that as an opportunity to make the story better._

_On Saturday, we have more Avengers fun with Chapter 44: Shenanigans. _


	44. Shenanigans

_Hey folks, sorry I almost forgot to post today! No theme song for the moment, I don't have access to my playlist where I am. Might add one later._

* * *

**Chapter 44: Shenanigans**

In the end, it was decided that Loki would go on the guys' plane. The ladies were planning to do 'girly' things, and he sensed they would be uncomfortable if he knew what such things were, even second hand. Besides, despite his female aspect's attempts to embrace all things feminine, he was fairly sure she wouldn't enjoy 14 hours straight of it.

He decided that the best course of action was to give up one of his days to Her so that she could be informed. After all, it was only fair after what he had done the previous week. It was not an entirely selfless decision, though, as he would need Her to craft him an appropriate wardrobe for the occasion.

Loki tapped his pencil against the list, and looked to Natasha.

"I think that's it. We're only going for a week," she smiled. Why did it not surprise her that he was a bit of a clothes horse? He sighed darkly, and she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"It's just... I wish I didn't have to leave this up to Her," he complained. "She's rather unconventional in her sense of fashion, I always dread that she'll make me wear something ridiculous."

Natasha frowned and opened her mouth to say that Femme Loki had a fashion sense that, while unique, was very sharp. She snapped it shut, however, when the subject of her defense appeared before her.

Loki blinked at her, and shook her head. "You know, I really wish I had like a 10-second replay every time I show up. I get a lot of weird looks."

She smiled. "It's just a little astonishing how smooth he is about it. I'm used to knowing when people are lying."

The corner of her mouth twitched up a little. "He'll take that as a compliment, I'm sure." She glanced out the window at the late morning sun, frowning. "Is it Sunday or Monday?"

"It's Tuesday, actually," Natasha explained, and when Loki looked outraged she held up a hand. "You've only been gone a day."

Now Loki looked confused. Natasha explained the vacation to her, and she tapped her lips thoughtfully. Pulling her cell phone from her now-oversized pants pocket, she pulled up her calendar and flipped through it. From where Natasha sat, she could see that the weeks were highlighted in alternating colors, and one week was faintly outlined in red.

"Well, it would make the most sense for us to switch every other day during the trip, but then who should get the week after? Normally, it would make sense for me to go next, but..." she frowned at the week in question, which was the outlined one. "I think I'd rather let Him. I'll end up a week short, but I'm not that greedy. Especially if I can be there for the ceremony. He can have the reception." She nodded, as if that settled everything.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You know, you could always just try that week. It might not be as bad as you imagine."

Loki shuddered. "No, thank you. I intend to have my cake and eat it too, as far as being a human girl goes."

She laughed at that. "Well, you get the rest of today to pack, in return for the time he stole last week."

It was Loki's turn to roll her eyes. "Right. Because packing His clothes is obviously as much fun as-" she stopped, blushing.

Natasha suppressed a smile. "Oh, you know you'll enjoy it. And it would appear that He has perfect confidence in your ability as well."

She sniffed, mock-offended. "Well of course He does."

* * *

On Friday afternoon, two limousines pulled into the SHIELD housing complex. Pepper, Darcy and Jane were already in the first, and Thor insisted on stealing Jane for a moment even though they would likely see each other at the airport. As they kissed, Natasha and Loki glanced uncomfortably at each other.

"See you there?" she said awkwardly.

Loki caught sight of several of the other team members watching them, as if waiting to see whether they, too, would make an extravagant public display of affection. He was not inclined to comply until he saw Clint scowl as he got into the second limo. With a smirk, Loki snatched Natasha's hand, bowed over it and kissed it softly. "I shall count the hours," he said jokingly.

She snorted sarcastically, which was precisely the way he had wanted her to react.

He then turned to go, catching Thor's arm and practically dragging him away from Jane as he went. She giggled, and the guys already in the limo cheered.

"I thought we were going to be stuck here all day!" Tony laughed. They settled into their places and Tony signaled the driver to head out.

"Hey, Bruce, how are you holding up?" Steve asked kindly.

Bruce gave him a weak thumbs up. "I took th'stuff about twenny minutes ago, I think it's starting to..." he swallowed thickly, "kick in."

Tony clapped him on the back. "Well sweet dreams, buddy. It's a shame you'll miss the bachelor party, but at least you'll be there for the main event."

Bruce's smile was lopsided, but genuine.

"What is a bachelor party?" Thor asked cheerfully.

"It's kind of a last huzzah before you get married," Clint explained. "Guys do stuff they can't once they won't be able to once they tie the knot."

Steve frowned. "Wait... What kind of things?"

Tony and Clint both laughed. "Well there won't be any strippers, if that's what you're worried about, Mr. 90-year-old-virgin," Steve blushed at that. "That is, unless Miss Jekyll and Mr. Hyde over here decides to cheat at Truth or Dare." He grinned at Loki.

Loki had been pouring himself a drink from Tony's extensive crystal bar. Now he drank from it deeply and muttered "Not bloody likely" under his breath.

Everyone laughed, but Bruce looked confused. "I thought I was Dr. Jekyll?" he murmured.

"Go to sleep, Bruce, you're high," Tony laughed.

"M'ok," Bruce murmured, and then his eyes fluttered closed.

There was a round of quietly suppressed giggles.

* * *

"A Toast!" Tony shouted.

There were laughs and Steve rolled his eyes. This must be the twentieth toast and they had only been in the air for two hours.

"What shall we toast to?" Thor asked enthusiastically. He was thoroughly enjoying the bachelor party, not surprising as so far it involved a lot of drinking and an arm wrestling tournament (which he had won).

Tony thought about it, or at least tried to. Of the group, only Steve and Loki remained mostly sober, although not for lack of trying. None of the alcohol was really strong enough to effect Loki much, and for both he and Thor to remain buzzed they would quickly drain the small jet's rather ample supply of liquor. Steve, it seemed, was completely out of luck, so he didn't even try. He was more than happy to share his stash of old-fashioned flavored sodas with Loki.

"I dunno," Tony admitted. "What haven't we toasted yet?"

"To Love!" Thor shouted.

Tony grinned. "Yeah! To Love! May it make idiots of us all!"

Steve laughed. "I'll drink to that!" he lifted his soda bottle and then took a swig.

Loki conspicuously did not drink.

"Aw, come on, man," Tony whined. "Haven't you ever been in love?"

Thor looked as if he would say something, but Loki beat him to it. "Yes." He didn't look very happy about it, but Tony didn't seem to notice.

"Doesn't it feel great?" he grinned.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "What, the part where you feel as though someone has reached into your chest and twisted your insides around? Or the part where you feel so elated you're afraid you might shatter? Or afterward, when you know you'll never feel that way again, no matter how long you live, because you'll never let anyone get that close?" he said venomously.

There was a moment where the only sounds were the whine of the engines and Bruce's snoring. Steve shook his head. "Man, you've had it bad," he agreed.

Loki relaxed, surprised that he of all of them would understand.

Everyone looked to the Captain, waiting for him to say more. He took a drink, thinking, and then sighed. "But there's more to it than that. There's the part where all you want is to be a better man, so you might possibly somehow be worthy of her."

Tony nodded. "Exactly. You just want to... I dunno, protect her."

"Even when she's more than able to do it herself," Clint added, laughing.

Thor smiled softly. "And when you walk into a room, and she's there, it's as if a great lodestone were pulling you toward her. Which can be an awful burden when you're apart." He looked out the window, at the second plane, which was a small glimmer against the arch of the world.

The others followed his gaze. Loki scowled, surprised how much their words resonated with him. He was most definitely _not _in love with Natasha. But how did one define love, if not by the things they had listed?

"I wonder what Pepper is doing right now?" Tony mused aloud.

Clint laughed. "I wish we could crash their party," he lamented.

Tony grinned. "Yeah, but we can't just walk over there. I mean, I can, normally I could, but after the whole thing where Rhodey and I trashed the house, Pepper made Jarvis promise not to power up the suit when my blood alcohol level was over twice the legal limit. Except in emergencies."

* * *

The atmosphere in the other plane was vastly different. Soothing music played, and Pepper was luxuriating under Natasha's skilled fingers.

"I didn't know you were a masseuse," Jane said curiously as she sipped on a smoothie.

Natasha smiled wryly. "I am many things," she said mysteriously.

Darcy popped her gum and wiggled her freshly-painted toes. "That must be what Loki likes about you so much," she teased.

Natasha rolled her eyes, and Pepper laughed. "I agree, it must take something special to inspire the love of a god."

She pursed her lips and went to work on a tough knot. "I'm sure Jane is the expert there, not me."

Jane blushed, but frowned. "You don't think Loki loves you?" she asked sadly.

She sighed and began wiping her hands off on a towel. "I know he doesn't love me. And I don't love him. It's not who we are."

"Wow, that's like, the most depressing thing I've ever heard," Darcy sounded genuinely impressed.

"It's hard to explain," she said as she dropped gracefully into a chair. "It's... complicated."

Pepper laughed as she tied the sash on her terrycloth robe. "When is love simple? I mean when you get down to it, I am basically marrying my billionaire boss because no one else will put up with him for more than 24 hours," she joked.

Darcy nodded enthusiastically. "And Clint—I mean, not that I _love _Clint, I think it's a little early for that—but, I mean, he's totally not over you, but I get that, it's cool."

"I'm not sure _Tony _is over you," Pepper lamented. "You seem to have that effect on men."

Natasha smiled, embarrassed. "Except Thor," she pointed out. "I don't think he knows what to make of me."

Jane snorted. "Yeah, well not even he is perfect. Asgard sounds gorgeous, but a little backwards in the women's rights department. Plus, as much as I love him, Thor's not really big on the deep thinking thing."

Darcy chucked a small pillow at her. "You're just saying that because you're a freaking genius. Everyone else seems like an idiot compared to you."

Jane hid behind her fashion magazine. "Not true. Tony and Bruce are intelligent enough to have a decent conversation," she said defensively.

There were groans from all around.

"What we're saying, Tasha," Pepper put a hand on her friend's arm, "Is that you don't have to be perfect to be loved."

"I mean, that's kinda the point, isn't it?" Darcy mused. "If you really love somebody, you love all of them, even their faults."

Natasha frowned. Wasn't that what she liked best about Loki? His flaws? The way he knew perfection was unattainable, and therefore reveled in his own shortcomings?

Jane's voice broke her reverie. "Wow, Darcy, that was almost deep."

"Ugh, gimme back my pillow so I can throw it at you again!" she lunged at Jane.

Before a full-scale pillow fight could erupt, the door to the cockpit opened and Maria Hill stepped through. She had insisted on serving as co-pilot, and now looked a little sheepish.

"What is it?" Pepper asked.

"It's the other plane..." she said hesitantly.

The girls froze, concern written on their faces. "What happened?" Natasha asked seriously.

Maria shook her head, her expression torn between amusement and disapproval. She gestured to the windows on one side of the cabin.

Each of them rushed to a window. The other plane had pulled up close to theirs, and in each of the windows one of the guys held up a sign. Strung together they read "Show us ur boobs!" Steve held the sign which read "Show" and by his light-hearted expression clearly had no idea what the last sign said.

Pepper laughed disbelievingly, and Darcy jumped up. "Got any paper?" she asked.

"Sure," she pulled back a panel to reveal a small business center.

Darcy took the paper, and pulled a sharpie out of her purse. She scribbled "U" on one and "1st" on another, and handed them to Jane and Natasha. Jane blushed and Natasha looked less than thrilled, but they held up the signs anyway, as Darcy made a face against the glass.

Upon seeing their signs, Clint immediately dropped his and, lifting his shirt, pressed his well-muscled chest against the small window. The girls dissolved into fits of giggles, even Natasha was grinning.

"Oh great, now we have to pay up!" Pepper said, wiping her eyes.

But Darcy was already hard at work, and quickly had two more signs ready for her and Pepper to hold: a very crudely drawn pair of breasts and the infamous Trollface.

The range of expressions was even more hilarious this time: Thor and Clint were laughing so hard they were in tears, Loki looked genuinely impressed, and even gave Darcy a thumbs up, and Tony mock-pouted. But the best was Steve, who seemed to have suddenly gained a clearer understanding the exchange, and was bright red.

"Poor guy," Jane said between giggles.

"Yeah, Maria, you got your work cut out for you!" Darcy teased.

Maria, who had been laughing with them, suddenly went scarlet to match her crush, and hastily fled to the cockpit.

This time, even Natasha couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Once again, I insist that I cannot be serious 100% of the time. Although, there were some important moments in there, I suppose. I had way too much fun writing this chapter, though. ^.^_

_Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, I really appreciate every single one of them!_

_Tune in on Wednesday for Chapter 45: Welcome Committee!_


	45. Welcome Committee

_The theme song for this chapter is "Money" by I Fight Dragons, but you're also going to want to queue up the main theme from Jurassic Park ^.~._

* * *

**Chapter 45: Welcome Committee**

The two jets landed in the tiny airport. It was so small that the first plane had to taxi into the hangar before the other could land. Once the engines were off, the passengers began to disembark and stood staring out the hangar doors at the incredible view.

"What do you think?" Tony asked proudly.

"Dude, I totally have the theme song from _Jurassic Park _playing in my head right now," Darcy breathed reverently.

Tony frowned, but Clint laughed. "Got any dinosaurs here, big guy?" he asked.

"God, I hope not," Pepper said darkly.

At this point a stocky man came half-walking half-jogging into the hangar. He looked as if he was in a hurry, but didn't want anyone else to know it.

"Happy!" Pepper shouted, and rushed over to hug him, and Tony followed.

"How go the preparations?" he asked, clearly confident in Happy's ability to perform the task at hand.

"Well, um," he paused to catch his breath. "Everything's ready, but..."

Tony frowned. "But what? It's gotta be perfect, Happy."

"And it is!" Happy said quickly, "It's just... Well, I hired some of the locals to get the work done in time, and they started talking with the staff you sent in, and..." he looked nervously between Pepper and Tony.

"Spit it out, Happy," Pepper suggested.

"They sent a welcome committee," he said at last.

There was a moment of silence, and then Tony laughed. "The guy I got this island from is a real douchebag, to borrow a term of yours," he glanced at Darcy. "They're probably just glad to be rid of him."

Pepper frowned. "Who did you get the island from?" she asked suspiciously.

He shrugged, "Some old mob guy, organized crime, that sort of scumbag."

"Wait, you gave money to a crime boss?" Steve demanded. "That's like funding terrorism."

"I never said I gave him _money _for it," Tony argued back. "I simply... pointed out that I knew of its existence and... maybe I knew some other people who might like to know about it too."

"You blackmailed him." Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Well done," Loki grinned slyly.

"I do what I can," Tony placed a hand over his arc reactor in false modesty.

There was some commotion behind them as Thor attempted to carry Bruce out of the plane and smacked his head on the doorway.

"Ow," Bruce groaned.

"Dr. Banner, you're awake!" Thor said with surprise, trying to look over his own shoulder.

"I am now," he said miserably.

Nearby, Jane put a hand over her face and laughed.

Thor put Bruce on his feet, where he wobbled dangerously. Loki ducked his head into the cargo compartment of the plane, and came back out with his concealed naginata.

"Here," he twirled it casually, and then held it out, handle first, to Bruce.

"Thanks," Bruce took the walking stick and used it for its more mundane purpose.

"You brought that with you?" Jane asked incredulously.

Loki shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, as you say."

Jane continued to look surprised. "Who brings a weapon to a wedding?" she asked Thor, who laughed.

"I would wager Lady Natasha has a number on herself right now, doesn't she?" Thor asked Loki.

Loki gave Natasha an appraising glance from across the hangar, which was not entirely professional in its enthusiasm. "At least five," he agreed.

Natasha turned her head towards them, as if she could feel Loki's gaze. She walked over, narrowing her eyes. "What are you three talking about?" she teased.

Loki grinned. "Just speculating how many weapons you have stashed on your person at this time," he said, managing to sound innocent.

She gave him an assessing look. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Loki gave her a leering smirk, but before he could reply, Jane interrupted.

"But you do have some?" she sounded more curious than incredulous at this point.

Natasha now looked to Jane, frowning a little. "Thanks to my training I'm never really without a weapon, but yes, I do have several devices on hand. You can never be too prepared," she explained.

Three convertibles pulled into the hangar, as well as an SUV.

"C'mon, folks, let's see what kind of hospitality they have in these parts," Tony called cheerfully, and everyone started moving towards the vehicles.

Thor held out his arm to Jane, and she took it, smiling. They followed Natasha and Loki, whose hand ghosted possessively near the small of her back. Thor and Jane shared a grin.

"They're certainly well-matched," Jane whispered.

"That they are," Thor agreed.

* * *

Happy, it turned out, was given to understatement. His 'welcome committee' appeared to consist of the entire population of the small village which nestled between the two hills that comprised the island. They stood on either side of the road, cheering and throwing flowers.

"I did mention that the former owner was a jerk, right?" Tony asked cheerfully.

Pepper rolled her eyes and prayed this didn't go to his head too much. Not much chance for that.

"Look at Thor," Tony laughed.

In the car behind them, Thor looked right at home, smiling and waving like a beauty pageant queen. Now it was Loki's turn to roll his eyes and turn back around.

"Is this what it feels like to be a god?" Tony asked him cheekily.

Loki ground his teeth and resisted the urge to say something nasty. "Not exactly," he muttered instead.

Once Tony had turned back around, Loki was surprised to feel Natasha slip her hand into his. He looked to her, but she was staring out at the people and the view, as if nothing had happened. He squeezed her hand gently, and he saw a smile tug up the corners of her lips. Then he too looked away, unsettled by an uncomfortable sensation in his chest.

* * *

The guests and their luggage were brought to the clubhouse. Their bags would be taken to their individual rooms during the wedding, but for now they would get ready in two separate, spacious rooms. Loki changed into his clothes for the reception, a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, and ash-grey slacks and vest, with a green and silver brocade tie. Then he waited for the others to change, listening to their conversations and looking for an opportunity to lie.

Suddenly, Darcy burst into the room, surprising them.

"Hey! Knock first," Tony frowned. Loki gave him a sarcastic look, which he missed.

"One of us might have been changing!" Steve added.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, 'cause that would have scarred me for life. We have a bit of a crisis," she explained. "Loki, do you know anything about fixing hair?"

Loki felt all eyes turn in him, as his amused comrades waited for his answer.

He frowned. "No...why?" Someone in the room must have believed him, as he seemed to waver and then resolve into his female form. There were some chuckles, but Darcy just took Loki's arm and led her out of the room.

"Come on, I think we're going to need magic to deal with this stupid humidity anyway."

* * *

"How's that?" Loki asked, stepping back.

Pepper looked in the mirror, and then at the fashion magazine they had been referencing. "Oh, it's perfect!" she gushed. If anything, she thought it looked better. The small jeweled pins artfully arranged in her strawberry blonde curls seemed to shimmer with a life of their own, like tiny stars.

"The curls might fall out when I go," she warned, "but the pins will stay. Consider them my wedding gift," she offered.

"Oh, thank you," Pepper turned around, grinning. "Just stick around for the photos, and that should be fine."

"Sure," Loki smiled, pleased with her work.

"You're a real lifesaver, Loki," Darcy sounded relieved as she packed away the curling iron and hairspray.

Before Loki could object, someone tapped on the door. It was Happy. "Ready to go?" he asked cheerfully.

Pepper took a deep breath, and sighed, smiling. "Yes."

* * *

_**A/N: **__ Short chapter today, I'm afraid. But fun. Random fact of the day: Jurassic Park was Tom Hiddleston's favorite movie as a kid. He does a really great raptor impersonation, too. Look it up for laughs._

_On the last chapter, a guest posted a review asking who held which signs in the last chapter. Since I couldn't reply here, I drew a little comic to explain and posted it here: fav . me / d5yc43t (remove the spaces). I often do illustrations for this story and others over there on deviantArt._

_Still kind of stuck on this story... my buffer is starting to look a little lean. My muse is convinced that I need to move on to my next story (especially since I plan on publishing it) but I keep trying to tell her that I have a duty to you guys to tell the rest of the story. Hopefully I can arm-wrestle her into cooperating. Your wonderful comments always help!_

_Next Saturday, we have some fun at Tony's expense and sexiness between Natasha and Loki in Chapter 46: Just a Dance._


	46. Just a Dance

_This chapter's theme song is "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. In addition to the original, see if you can find the Flamenco Fusion Guitar version done by Greg Reiter. Or just imagine it being sung by the Gypsy Kings._

* * *

**Chapter 46: Just a Dance**

The ceremony was short and sweet. It took place on the beach, with everyone barefoot. Tony and Pepper had written their own vows, and while some of them got a few laughs, they were sincere and loving. Everyone clapped for the kiss, a few photos were snapped, and then it was off to the reception.

On the large deck that spread out behind the clubhouse, a dance floor and refreshment tables had been set up. A local band played flamenco, mariachi, and Polynesian covers of any popular song you could name—as long as it hadn't been written in the last 15 years. The guests danced, ate cake, and mostly talked.

"Congratulations," Steve offered. "Never would have guessed you'd be the first of us to get married."

Tony, Clint and Bruce laughed. "Yeah," Bruce agreed. "You always seemed like the confirmed bachelor type."

"What made you want to seal the deal?" Clint asked.

Tony grinned. "I just had this epiphany one night. I had this really hot girl at my place," he began, "She was way drunk, and way into me."

Halfway across the deck, Loki's head turned, and he quietly came to stand behind Tony, listening in.

"And I mean, she was ready to go, you know? But all I could think about was Pepper. That's when I knew. I kissed the girl goodnight and sent her home." He shook his head.

The guys laughed. "That doesn't sound like you at all," Bruce agreed.

Loki chose this moment to speak up. "Well thank the heavens for Pepper, then, or you might have taken advantage of that poor girl." His expression was teasing, but there was an edge to his voice.

Tony turned around very slowly and looked up at Loki. He laughed nervously. "Yeah. That would have been... really bad." He shuddered.

"To Pepper," Loki proposed, lifting his glass. The others lifted theirs as well, grinning. "And all the virtue she has unintentionally saved."

They laughed, but drank, Tony deepest of all.

Loki wandered off, resuming his previous task of covertly watching Natasha. He made his way to the cake table, where Darcy had practically parked herself.

"Hey Loki," she said through a mouthful of cake. "You gotta try the chocolate. It's divine."

Loki took a plate of the suggested cake, and sampled it, savoring it carefully. "It's very good," he admitted at last.

She scoffed. "Jeez, you even look sexy when you're eating. You make me look like a pig. It's not fair."

He laughed. "Well you must be doing alright, as I hear you've found your very own brooding gentleman?" he teased.

Darcy's eyes widened. "You didn't..." she grinned.

He took another bite of cake. "Not me precisely, but I might have put the idea in Her head."

She set down her cake, and then hugged him tightly.

Loki lifted his hands, trying not to let his cake get squished between them. "Hey, watch the tie," he scolded, rolling his eyes.

She just laughed and let him go. "I don't know how to thank you. Clint is..." she glanced over to the man in question, who was currently talking with Natasha. "Perfect."

Loki smiled sardonically. "Well I don't know if I can agree with that, but I do know how you can thank me."

"Oh?" Darcy looked eager, detecting the mischief in his voice.

Loki continued to watch Clint and Natasha talking. "I should like to have a dance with Natasha... _uninterrupted._ Do you think you could... distract him for about 15 minutes?"

She grinned and gave him a mock salute. "It would be my honor, sir." She grabbed one last mouthful of cake, and then turned to go.

Loki caught her wrist. "Oh, and Darcy?"

"Yeah?" she glanced at him quizzically.

"Don't ever call me 'sir' again," he said casually, but there was something about his expression which warned her he was serious.

She shrugged. "'Kay."

He let her go, and then went to speak with the band.

* * *

Natasha had been pretending not to watch Loki pretend not to watch her all evening. He was good at it, but she was better. She wondered what he was up to. She was talking to Clint—who finally seemed willing to ignore the elephant in the room long enough for a decent conversation—when Darcy practically came skipping up to them.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully, and wrapped herself around Clint casually. "Can I borrow him for a bit?"

She laughed. Darcy had been talking to Loki only a moment before, and she had no doubt this was part of his plan. Luckily Clint had been facing away from them, or he might have figured it out, too. "Sure," she agreed.

Darcy proceeded to drag Clint away. He looked confused at first, but when she whispered something in his ear, he grinned and consented to sneak away with her.

_Now he will make his move_, she thought, _while I am alone._ It was well done, she had to admit. Had she been in any real danger, she would have attached herself to a large group of talkative people. Instead, she took her drink and walked to the balcony, staring out at the sunset.

He appeared beside her only a few moments later, silent as a cat. He stared out at the view as well, saying nothing. At last, the band finished the song they had been playing, and began setting up for another. Loki turned to her, bowed in the Asgardian manner, and held out his hand.

"Would you like to dance, Lady Natasha?" he asked formally.

She smiled, amused by the game he was playing. "Yes," she put her hand in his, and he led her to the dance floor.

He placed one hand on the small of her back, and held the other aloft. For a moment, she thought they were going to dance the Tango. It would be like him to choose a flashy dance like that. But when the music started, a slow, sensual flamenco guitar piece, the beat was all wrong. He began to move his feet and his hips, effortlessly leading her through the Rumba. On second thought, she realized this dance was a much better fit for him. It wasn't as showy as the Tango, but for the dancers it could be much more sensual, as their hips swayed together in sync.

"Where did you learn to dance like this?" she asked as he turned her in a slow spin.

He shrugged gracefully, pulling her back against him. "I watch a lot of television," he reminded her. "Where did you learn? You are exquisite, as always," he murmured.

Despite the compliment, her face darkened. "It was part of my training."

Loki didn't miss a step, but there was a pause in his expression. "Someday, you will tell me what happened to you," he said demandingly.

She sighed, leaning back into a dip. "Someday. But not now."

Their conversation was ended as the singer stepped up to his microphone and began the lyrics to the song. He had a strong accent, but Natasha already knew the song, and the words carried easily into her mind as Loki directed them around the dance floor, until it seemed there was nothing around her but his body and the words.

_The world was on fire and no one could save me but you._

_It's strange what desire will make foolish people do._

_I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you._

_And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you._

_No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)_

_No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)_

_With you (This world is only gonna break your heart)_

_What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way._

_What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you._

_What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way._

_What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,_

_I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)_

_No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)_

_With you. (This world is only gonna break your heart)_

_No, I..._

_Nobody... loves no one_.

Natasha felt a strange tightness in her throat as Loki brushed his lips across hers with the last of the words. The song was over, and she didn't want it to be. Applause for the band brought her crashing back to reality. She looked around her, they hadn't been the only ones dancing.

Thor and Jane, who had yet to leave the dance floor, stood nearest, grinning at them as if they knew something which Loki and Natasha did not. Further off stood Tony and Pepper. Tony winked at her.

She felt Loki bristle beside her, as if he too had forgotten they were not alone, and was unhappy to find them the center of attention. He took Natasha's hand, kissed it rather roughly, thanked her formally for the dance, and stormed off. She followed him for half a step, as if an invisible string connected them and then snapped, painfully.

She sighed, and lowered the hand she had left hanging in the air where he had kissed it. Spotting the cake table, she made her way determinedly towards it. There were so few emotional problems that could not be solved with chocolate...

* * *

Loki stood at the edge of the surf, on a rock which the tide beat relentlessly against. The sun had gone down, and the moon was yet to rise, so the only light came from the party behind him. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore and then retreating with a hiss of rolling pebbles almost drowned out the music. It almost drowned out his thoughts, even.

It was enough, however, to cover the sound of Thor's approach. "Would it be so very terrible," he called, breaking Loki's reverie, "if you loved her?"

Loki laughed, turning. "You've never been one to beat around the bush, have you?"

Thor shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I never saw the point of it."

Loki shook his head, and then jumped down from the rock, coming to stand next to Thor. "Yes, it would be terrible," he said seriously.

He looked shocked. "Why?"

He sighed, bent down to pick up a handful of rocks, and started chucking them angrily into the sea. "Many reasons."

"Such as?" Thor prodded.

Loki scowled at him. "Why should I tell you?"

"Because I am your brother, and these are things which brothers discuss?" he hazarded.

The old argument that they were not brothers rose to his lips, but he let them go unspoken. Thor had helped him through the heartbreak of Angerboda and the frustration of Sygin. So he said nothing, continuing to toss the stones, although with less rage.

"It's not as if I haven't considered the consequences of loving a mortal woman," Thor offered. "What would the court of Asgard say? What would SHIELD say?"

"I care nothing about their opinions," Loki said sullenly.

Thor hid a smile. "That is most likely a good sign." He studied his brother a moment, at the pain written clearly on his face. "Is it because she will live so short a time?"

Loki dropped the remaining stone in his hand. "I had not even thought of that," he admitted softly.

"Then what? What stands between you and happiness?"

He sighed heavily again, staring up at the stars. "She does not love me."

Thor chuckled at this, causing Loki to turn on him with a scowl. "Did you see her face when you danced? It was a mirror to yours."

He rolled his eyes. "That is _lust_, not love," he scoffed. And that had been the whole of his intention, to stir desire in Natasha, early in the evening, so that he could capitalize on the delay later on. He had not known the song he picked well, and had not expected it to effect him so.

He spread his hands defensively. "Whatever it was, it was effective. You likely could have had her right there on the-"

"Don't be crude," Loki scolded.

Thor looked surprised, but pleasantly so. "Not many ladies have had their virtue defended by you," he pointed out.

Loki finally lost his patience, even though he knew that was Thor's aim. "She told me once, that 'love is for children.' Long before any of this started, long before we were anything but enemies. If I fell for her... If she knew... I would lose her respect."

Thor frowned. "Lady Natasha is very skilled in deception, perhaps even more so than you. Are you certain she spoke in earnest?"

He sighed. "Yes, she said much the same thing to Her, later."

"And her respect is more important to you?"

"Yes."

They stood silently, sizing each other up. Thor gracefully let it go, turning to study the ocean as Loki had. Irritatingly, it reminded Loki of how Odin would have acted, but he stood and watched with him. He knew he was trying to help.

"I intend to announce something tomorrow, concerning myself and Jane," he said without turning.

Loki gave him a sidelong glance.

"I was going to announce it today, but Dr. Banner informed me that it would be a breach of etiquette. I am already in disagreement about this with Father, so I am hoping that you will support me." Thor clasped his hands behind his back.

Loki snorted. "I hardly think having me on your side will help you in any way," he argued.

Thor smiled a little. "Still, it's important to me that I have your blessing."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Alright, then, you have it, for what it's worth. But I cannot speak for Her in this matter."

He frowned down at the sand. "Will she make a scene, do you think?"

"No, She's too eager to please for that," he sighed. "But it will likely hurt her."

"I know," Thor said quietly. "It cannot be helped."

"No."

They stood a moment longer on the sands, and then Thor clapped Loki hard on the shoulder. "Well, I bid you good night, and good luck with Lady Natasha."

Loki smiled faintly. "After that dance, I fear I shall need it," he joked.

Thor chuckled, and wandered off back towards the party.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Little bit longer chapter, and nice and sexy and broody. Hope you guys like it. I think I may have struck a useful deal with my muse whereby I can write one chapter of my new story for every two that I write for this one. We'll see if that works. Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews and support, I really appreciate it!_

_If you're wondering why I didn't write the wedding itself en scene, it's because I'm saving it for a little one-shot collection I'll post either after this story is over or when it's close to over called "Four Weddings and a Farce."_

_Next on Wednesday, Chapter 47: A Declaration! (But who is declaring what? ^.^)_


	47. A Declaration

_The song for this chapter is "Disease" by Matchbox Twenty. There's also a mini comic for it on my deviantArt site. Remove the spaces from this to get the url: fav .me /d5vmizf_

* * *

**Chapter 47: A Declaration**

It was much later when Natasha found Loki, sitting on the rock and still staring out across the ocean. The music had ended, and he guessed that the party had, too.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she called up softly.

"No," he said sullenly.

She shrugged, and thought a moment. "Do you want to break in the room?" she asked half-jokingly.

He sighed in a relieved sort of way, and jumped off the rock to stand next to her. "Yes," he admitted.

She smiled. "Well, come on, then."

* * *

Afterwards, she lay in his arms a few minutes, as she was becoming overly fond of doing. Then she sighed, got up, and dug in her suitcase for her pajamas.

Loki pouted. "Surely you're not cold?" he teased.

Natasha laughed. "No, but when were you planning on switching? I'm not sure She'd take kindly to waking up in bed with me naked."

"It can wait until morning," he insisted. "And anyway, you might be surprised. She thinks naughty things about you, too, and not all of them are my fault."

Natasha gave him an incredulous look.

He laughed. "No, really. She's very... curious. Don't be surprised if she asks you about it."

She sighed and climbed back into bed with him. "If you say so. I'm not so sure, though. She's my friend, and I don't want to ruin that. I don't want to risk hurting her."

He pulled her back against him possessively, fitting himself to the curve of her body. "It would certainly make my life simpler," he argued.

Natasha frowned, not sure she agreed. But she said nothing, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Her last conscious thought was to wonder why it felt so _right _to do so in his arms.

* * *

When Loki returned, she noticed it was early morning. She also noticed the small, elderly woman in front of her, scared half out of her wits.

"I'm sorry-" she began, but the old woman only muttered a few words in a language she didn't understand and made a strange hand gesture before shuffling off in a hurry.

"No terrorizing the natives," she scolded inwardly. Her only response was a vague sense of amusement. She sighed, and decided to go for a swim. When she reached the beach, she realized she was not the only one who had that idea. Darcy, Tony, Jane and Pepper were already staked out on the sand. They waved in greeting as she approached.

"You call that a swimsuit?" Tony said jokingly, glancing at her over his dark-tinted sunglasses.

Loki looked down at her board shorts and modest tankini top, tugging the shorts a little lower. "I'm still not 100% comfortable in this body, you know," she mumbled.

"Oh, honey, it's just fine," Pepper said comfortingly. "Tony's just being an ass, as usual." Her voice was oddly affectionate, despite what she said, and she leaned over to claim a kiss from him.

"Besides," Darcy put in as she was rubbing sunscreen on her arms. "What if you accidentally lied?"

Tony gave a very exaggerated shudder. "Right. Carry on then," he waved a hand imperiously.

Loki rolled her eyes and laid out her towel next to Darcy's.

"This whole owning an island thing is really going to his head," Jane complained quietly.

"Well you know what they say," Loki sat gracefully. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Darcy laughed, but Jane took it more seriously, marking her place in her book and thinking.

"Here," Darcy held out the bottle of sunscreen. "You'll need to put this on if you don't want a nasty sunburn. You're pretty pasty."

She helped Loki make sure that she didn't miss any spots. Just as she was finishing up, they heard Tony whistle.

Natasha was coming down the path to the beach, wearing a very revealing bikini. What little fabric composed it, Loki noticed, was green.

"Now that's more like it!" Tony said approvingly, and then winced when Pepper smacked him with her magazine. "What, I can still _look _can't I?"

"Ugh," Darcy said with heartfelt jealousy. "Is she even _human_? So unfair."

"I apologize for my _husband's _lack of manners," Pepper said when she was in earshot.

Natasha laughed. "Oh, I'm used to it, I don't mind. I've spent a lot of time on beaches in Europe and South America."

Tony frowned, thinking. "What, like, topless beaches? Wait a minute," he looked around. "I _own_ this beach..." He sat up, raising a hand in the air. "I officially declare this a topless beach!" he announced.

All five girls leveled the same disgusted, incredulous look at him.

"What? You can't blame me for trying!"

"_I _can," Pepper laughed, and they dissolved into a cheerful bout of squabbling.

"Disgusting," Darcy shook her head.

"I think it's cute," Jane smiled.

Natasha refrained from comment and laid her towel down next to Loki's. Loki, who had yet to do anything except stare at Natasha with her mouth slightly open, suddenly thrust the sunscreen in her direction.

"Here," she said lamely. "I could help you get your back," she suggested.

She looked amused, and a little suspicious, but shook her head. "I don't need it," she explained.

"I thought gingers burned really easy?" Jane mused.

"I'm not really a ginger since I don't have the freckles," Natasha reasoned.

Darcy grinned. "So do you have a soul, then?" she joked.

Natasha looked less than amused. "That remains to be seen."

Slowly everyone trickled down to the beach, until all of them were either lounging on the sand or playing in the water. Darcy introduced Loki to the concept of sandcastles, and they quickly had a massive structure going, reinforced with small bits of Loki's magic. Darcy managed to drag Clint into the project as well, and he and Loki managed to get along well enough to keep her happy.

When the sun had risen high in the sky, Tony stood and shouted to get everyone's attention. "Lunch is at the clubhouse in half an hour," he announced. "No need to dress fancy, but it's a no shirt, no shoes, no service kinda deal. See you there."

There was some laughter, and the people who had been out in the water waded in. Everyone split up to go to their separate rooms and change. As Natasha walked with Loki, she noticed a troubled expression on her face.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Loki shook her head. "I dunno. I just have a weird sense of foreboding."

Natasha's expression now matched Loki's. "Is it some kind of premonition?"

"I don't think so," she fingered her ruby pendant absently. "I just have a bad feeling about lunch."

* * *

Despite Loki's misgivings, lunch was a pleasant affair. The food was excellent, and after desert everyone sat around chatting. Thor gave a meaningful glance to Tony, who tapped his water glass with a knife to get everyone's attention. Thor stood, and the attention turned to him.

He cleared his throat nervously, and smiled. "During my time here, I have come to see you all as my family, and I think my sister would agree," he lifted his glass to Loki, who sat at the end of the table.

She lifted her glass in agreement. "We certainly bicker like one," she offered, which got her a few laughs.

"Which is why I wanted you all to be here for a very important moment in my life. Jane," he turned to her, and she was looking up at him with a mixture of confusion and dawning realization. "I have travelled all the nine realms and never once met a woman with your intelligence, beauty, passion, and kindness. Which is why I would ask you," and here he dropped to one knee by her side, "If you would do me the very great honor of becoming my bride?"

There were excited and surprised murmurs from around the table, which were quickly hushed. Jane, for her part, was the picture of delighted shock, her mouth opening and closing rather like a startled fish. Thor gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and she laughed. "Of course!" she said. "Yes!" and she flung her arms around his neck.

Now there were cheers around the table, although Loki remained inconspicuously quiet and Natasha watched her carefully. When they were quiet again, Darcy fished a box out of her purse and handed it to Thor, who presented it to Jane.

"I know it is customary here to give a ring, and I will get you a ring," he added hastily, "I just didn't know what sort you would like best. In Asgard, we give our betrothed a gift with meaning and history."

Jane lifted the lid carefully, and gasped at its contents. Several of the guests stood slightly to get a better view. It was a beautiful pearl and sapphire necklace.

"Does daddy know you have that?" Loki asked suddenly, and the appreciative murmurs from around the table died out.

Thor looked up, wary. "No. Mother gave it to me."

Loki stood and walked to stand between Jane and Thor, fingering the necklace lovingly. "A good choice. This necklace was given by Odin to Frigga, his queen, upon the birth of his third and youngest son, Baldur, the only Asgardian prince of full Aesir blood. But it has been in our family for many eons before that." She plucked the necklace from its cushion, and deftly undoing the clasp, placed it around Jane's neck. "You must wear it with great honor and pride."

Jane's fingers fluttered over the jewels. "I-I will," she stammered nervously.

Loki smiled serenely, although there was little mirth in it. "Then let me be the first to welcome you to the family," she offered, and bent to place a kiss upon her cheek.

There was another round of cheers, and Loki stepped back as the other girls crowded around Jane to congratulate her and admire the necklace. She made to disappear entirely, but Thor caught her before she could escape.

"Let me go," she pleaded in a hoarse whisper.

"Not before I thank you," he said gently. "I know that was hard for you, and I-"

"Please," Loki begged, tears forming in her eyes. "I still..." she choked on the words, and sighed. "I suppose, deep down, I knew it was never going to work. But I still..."

"I know," he said, not without pity. "Which is why what you did means so much to me."

"You're welcome, then, and I wish you both great happiness, really I do. But please let me go before I make a scene after all," she whispered.

Thor released his hold on her wrist, and she made a silent, unnoticed exit from the room. Mostly unnoticed, anyway. When he turned back around, Thor saw that Natasha had been watching them. He nodded to her, and she rose from her seat, making an equally graceful and subtle departure.

* * *

Natasha did not catch up with Loki until she reached their little cabin. She must have run all the way. She found her sobbing on the couch. Crouching down next to her, she rested a hand on her back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently.

"No," she said sullenly, unconsciously echoing the night before.

Natasha sighed. Her solution of last night was not appropriate here. She was fairly certain that Loki would take her up on the offer, and gladly, but only because she was heartbroken and wanted to be loved. That wasn't what Natasha was offering, and it would be wrong to take advantage of her emotional turmoil.

"What can I do?" she asked awkwardly, unused to giving comfort.

"Just stay with me," she pleaded, turning to cling to her.

Natasha moved to sit on the couch next to her, holding her tightly. In a small way, she could understand this. There had been several times in her life that she had cried her heart out, wishing she had someone-anyone-to hold her fast through the storm. It had been many years, but you don't forget heartache like that.

Slowly Loki calmed, her sobs giving way to silent shaking, and then dissolving to sniffles. Finally Natasha released her, wiping the tear stains from her cheeks. "Better now?" she asked.

Loki nodded with a heavy sigh. "I knew it would come to this, but..."

"But it still hurts?"

Loki wiped at her eyes and laughed a little. "You probably think I'm an idiot for bawling my eyes out," she joked.

Natasha shook her head. "Better to get it out. Locking it up does things to you, twists you..." she looked away.

She studied her profile, realizing she spoke from experience. "Is this why love is for children?" she asked softly, "Because only children would risk getting hurt like this?"

Natasha looked back at her, but said nothing. She didn't need to. She stood, peering out through the blinds at a thunderstorm that had whipped up quickly, and now dumped buckets of rain on them.

"It won't last," Loki explained. "If I'm not careful with my emotions, the magical energy can affect the weather around me."

"I see," Natasha said quietly. She could tell from her awkward manner that Loki wanted a little privacy now, but she wasn't prepared to leave her alone and the storm gave her enough of an excuse. She picked a book out of her suitcase and stationed herself in the hammock next to the sliding glass doors.

Loki found the remote control and turned the TV on, searching for a distraction.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Poor Loki, Natasha will make it all better... *cackles gleefully* Finally moving into the phase of the story that I know a lot of you have been waiting for._

_Also, I have finally managed to convince my muse that I will not write my next story until this one is done, so now she is super motivated to finish it! I've written two chapters in two days, so my buffer should be up to scratch in no time. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews and encouragement-it really helped!_

_On Saturday, tune in for Chapter 48: Inquiries_


	48. Inquiries

_Theme song: "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato_

* * *

**Chapter 48: Inquiries**

Loki sat on the couch, watching television and waiting for the storm to blow out. Or at least, that is what she meant to be doing. The TV was having a hard time holding her attention, and sometimes, especially during commercials, she caught herself staring at Natasha, who sat across the room reading her book. Loki would shake it off, only to discover five minutes later that she was watching, not the screen, but the assassin.

The sixth time she did this, she thought about it. She knew now that He had more control over her than she guessed. His trinket collection was proof enough, and there were many times that she would feel an unexpected wash of emotion, as if from someone else. Was it Him, making her look?

"See something you like?" Natasha said, deadpan, without even looking up.

Loki blushed, but turned off the TV and got up. She took a chair from the table and turned it so she could sit on it backwards facing her, her arms crossed on top of the back and her chin resting atop them.

Natasha merely continued to read, licking her finger and turning the page.

"He likes watching you," Loki said suddenly.

Natasha glanced up briefly. "I noticed." They were silent a while longer. "I take it you do too?" she asked, a little humor in her voice.

Loki shifted in her chair a little and sighed. "Can I ask you something?"

She finished a paragraph and then shut the book, giving Loki her full attention. "Shoot."

Loki bit her lip, thinking. "You told me once that you had a very specific skill set..."

Natasha smiled. They had spoken of her skills before, she wondered why the reference to the first of those conversations. She really hoped Loki wasn't going to ask her to teach her how to seduce Thor again. "Yes?"

"Well," Loki squirmed, "Exactly how specific is it?"

Natasha frowned. "I don't understand."

Loki looked at the ceiling, at her fingernails, out the window, anywhere but directly at Natasha. "Does it, you know, only apply to men?" she mumbled.

Natasha blinked. He had said this would happen, but she hadn't quite believed him. Unbidden, a smile came to her face. "No," she admitted, but left it at that. She could tell that Loki wanted to ask more, but it was important that Natasha let her take the lead in this. The last thing she wanted was to take advantage of her friend. "Let me ask you a question, too," she suggested.

Loki nodded, relieved.

"He mentioned once that there were ways of using magic to make things more... interesting. Do you know what he meant?"

She blushed, but also smiled. "There are a number of tricks. Setting the mood is easy: candles, scents, the right kind of bed," she paused a little, "mirrors."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. Loki definitely had some kind of mirror kink, she thought, and resolved to do something about it. "What else?" she asked.

Loki leaned back. "Oh, knowing him he'd pull some prank like sending a projection to join you in the shower. Or dreams, I'm pretty good at sending dreams when I feel like it."

Natasha shivered, imagining how differently his seduction might have proceeded if he had those tools at his disposal.

"And illusions can always be useful," Loki added.

She raised her eyebrows, interested. Loki grinned, and then looked over Natasha's shoulder. She turned to see what she was looking at, and nearly fell out of the hammock at the sight of a second Loki, but this one male. He chuckled a little, and settled on the edge of the hammock next to her.

"It's me, of course," Femme Loki explained.

"I can make him talk, but it's a little difficult," he said.

Natasha tore her gaze away from him and looked to her. "That's ok, it's just a little bit creepy."

She shrugged, and so did he, the gesture identical. The illusion picked up her hand up off her lap, and ran his thumb over her knuckles before bringing them to his lips. His touch was not quite substantial, like a memory or a dream.

"I'm not really sure how much I could do with it," she mused, sounding as if she would be interested to see. She looked from Natasha to the illusion, feeling an odd surge of jealousy. She dismissed the illusion, surprising Natasha again.

She hid it well, though, turning to face the real Loki again. "To answer your question, yes, I was trained to seduce women as well as men. I haven't had as much opportunity to use those skills, but enough to know they are... effective." She smiled.

To her surprise, Loki smiled back. "Well," she said. "That's something worth thinking about." With this she stood and went back to the couch, turning on the television as if the entire conversation had never occurred.

Natasha sat blinking for a moment. She had grown accustomed to that sort of dismissive move from Loki's male aspect, but this was the first time she had seen Femme Loki pull it. She wondered what it meant.

* * *

Loki said nothing more on the subject, and once the storm ended, she left to 'go wandering.' Natasha decided to seek out Thor and give him a piece of her mind. She found him with the others, up at the clubhouse, playing foosball with Clint while Jane, Darcy and Pepper chatted animatedly about wedding things. Tony, Steve, Bruce and Maria were absorbed in a soccer match on the 60-inch 3D plasma screen.

When he noticed Natasha come in the room, Thor nodded to her slightly. "Thank you for looking after Loki," he told her. "Is she alright?"

She crossed her arms, and took a wide stance. Clint, recognizing her expression and form, excused himself on the pretext of finding snack food. "She was pretty upset when I got there, but now she's gone off on her own. What did you say to her?"

Thor crossed his arms as well, not intimidated in the least. "I thanked her, for what she did. Told her I knew how hard it was."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Really? You couldn't have waited for her to get over it? You had to say that to her _then_."

Thor frowned. "Loki has been my closest companion for many centuries, Lady Natasha. I know how she deals with disappointment. First, she throws a fit, then she goes off to think. No one will find her until she wants to be found. If I had not spoken my mind then, when I still had her ear, she would use this time to convince herself that I was not aware of the sacrifice she made, that I had no knowledge of her feelings and how this hurt her. She's very given to self doubt and jealousy. By the time she returns, she will have made up her mind about the truth of things, and no one will convince her otherwise."

She frowned. "And now, because you told her?"

"She will think on what I said to her. She will realize it is true. And she may find some healing in it. I cannot say what she will choose as her next course of action, but I don't think it will be to act against myself or Jane," he guessed.

She sighed. She could see the logic behind it, but she still thought it was rather selfish of him to have done. She managed to get drawn into the girls' conversation, and Clint returned demanding a rematch. He managed to beat Thor this time, but mainly because he kept staring off towards his intended.

Clint glanced over, too. It was a little weird to see Natasha and Darcy at the same time. He still had feelings for Tasha. He probably always would. But they were angsty, sullen feelings. When he looked at Darcy, when she smiled at him, he felt happy, and goofy. Why couldn't he just _decide _to love Darcy and not Natasha? Why did it have to be so damn complicated?

"She is fiercely loyal, your Lady Natasha," Thor commented at last.

Clint was surprised out of his thoughts by his voice. "She's not really _my _Natasha, not any more. I'm not sure she ever was. But yes, she can be very loyal, when she finds the person in question worthy of her loyalty."

"Is she a good judge of character, then?"

He laughed. "The best."

Thor gave him a thoughtful, telling look, and Clint ground his teeth. He didn't even need to mention Loki, he knew what that look meant. How did he _do _that?

* * *

Loki returned in time for supper, like a solitary cat. She was quiet, but polite, and even made small talk with Jane, which the latter found relieving and unnerving at the same time. Although she sat next to Natasha, she said almost nothing to her, and seemed skittish. Wary, Natasha did not press her, and kept her distance.

Afterwards, Thor managed to find a moment to speak with Loki alone.

"You look very resolved," he noted. "Should I be worried?"

She laughed, and then sighed. "No." She turned to face him, and put on a brave smile. "I have decided to apply my affections elsewhere," she explained.

"Oh?" Thor asked, surprised by the deceptive simplicity of her plan.

Loki took a sip from her drink and sighed darkly. "Unfortunately, I seem to have chosen an even less appropriate target this time." She gazed out across the room where a few of their friends stood talking, Natasha included.

Thor followed her line of sight, and chuckled. "Loki, this is Midgard, and you are human. Don't let the Aesir ways stand in the way of your happiness. Jane has taught me much about how humans love and treat their women as equals. It has been humbling and eye-opening."

Loki looked up into Thor's face, studying it. She found nothing there but brotherly affection and acceptance. "Thank you," she whispered.

He bowed graciously and left her to her thoughts.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I love the irony that Clint and Femme Loki have the same feels. _

_A word of explanation for Loki's comment that Natasha would be a worse match than Thor: as with much ancient mythology, it was not unheard of for the Norse gods to consort with their siblings (although unlike the Greeks, it was frowned upon). Homosexuality was, however, pretty much never mentioned, (even in the Lokasenna where Loki insults everyone on every possible topic) so we can assume that it probably ranks higher than incest on the list of no-nos, and is well into the territory of 'just not done'. Expect much angst from Femme Loki on this subject._

_Up next on Wednesday, we have some fun nostalgia in Chapter 49: Tricks & Stories._


	49. Tricks & Stories

_The theme song for this chapter is "Forever" by Papa Roach_

* * *

**Chapter 49: Tricks & Stories**

The next morning, Natasha woke early and left quietly. Loki had come to bed very late, trying to sneak in without her noticing, and Natasha had pretended to remain asleep, letting her think she had succeeded. She wanted to ask why, but it would have to wait until tomorrow. Loki looked so peaceful asleep that she didn't feel like waking her.

So she grabbed a quick shower and then headed down to one of the beaches. This morning it was cloudy and windy, and she had the strand of pebbles to herself. She was glad of the solitude-she had never been a terribly social person, and while she enjoyed her time with her fellow Avengers, she also found it somewhat draining. With so many conflicting egos, she was constantly having to plan her next move, trying to make sure everyone got along well enough to be functional as a team. Here, alone, she didn't have to think about anything. She could just _be_, for a while.

She wasn't exactly sure when she became aware that Loki was watching her, but she turned to find him perched on one of the boulders that lined the back of the beach, up against a small cliff face. He looked to be comfortable, so she didn't hurry to join him, just wandered in his general direction.

"Morning," she said as she approached the base of the rock.

He smiled a little. "I've been sent to find you," he explained.

She frowned. "Something up?"

He shook his head. "No, they just wondered where you'd gone. You missed Thor's introduction to popsicles."

Natasha laughed. "I can imagine." She paused, glancing back at the beach. The sun was coming out from behind the clouds, and she felt oddly refreshed. "Thanks for waiting."

He slipped gracefully from the stone. "You looked like you didn't want to be disturbed, so I thought I'd return the favor."

She shot him an inquisitive glance.

Loki chuckled. "You're not the only one who can feign unconsciousness."

* * *

When they reached the beach where the others had gathered, they saw Thor, Tony, and Steve seated at a wicker table. Thor cheerfully offered her a popsicle as they approached. She smiled and took it, sitting at the table with them and listening to their bantering as she watched Clint, out in the water, teaching Darcy and Maria to surf. Pepper and Jane were staked out on towels nearby, tanning and chatting.

Loki continued his newfound favorite hobby of watching Natasha. She tried to ignore it, for a while, but in close quarters it was a little unnerving.

"What?" she finally demanded, although quietly so as not to draw attention from the others.

He smirked, and leaned over to murmur in her ear. "Watching you eat that is giving me _ideas_."

She smirked right back before intentionally drawing her tongue up the length of it. "Such as?"

He held out a hand for the popsicle, and she handed it to him, wondering what he was going to do. He licked the tip of it, and his expression changed to one of surprise. He licked it again. "Actually, that's quite good," he admitted.

"You didn't try one before?" she asked.

"Not this flavor," he explained. He then popped it in his mouth, stood, and started walking away.

Natasha sat there for a moment, confused. She caught sight of Thor watching her, and saw that he shook with barely contained laughter.

_He tricked me, _she realized suddenly, and leapt up from her chair. "Hey, that was _my _popsicle!" she shouted, and ran after him. He turned, a look of mock-innocence on his face. She pulled the stick from his mouth, but found that was all it was—a stick. "You ate the whole thing? How do you not have the worst brain freeze ever?" she demanded.

He shrugged grinning. "Impervious to cold?" he guessed.

She stared at him a moment, disbelieving, and then sighed. She put a hand on his shoulder, and looked like she was about to say something. Instead, she swept a leg behind his and knocked him on his back.

He yelled in surprise, but she just frowned down at him. "_That _is for stealing my popsicle."

Loki looked suddenly remorseful, but then lashed out with his own strike, landing her on the ground next to him. They laid there for a second, staring up into the sky, and then both burst into laughter.

Thor and Tony watched with identical dumbfounded looks. "Have you ever seen..." Thor asked faintly.

"No..." Tony said, equally astounded. "I wasn't sure if 'Agent Romanov' even knew the definition of the word fun."

Steve just chuckled and shook his head.

Clint, who had rushed up to the beach when he saw the fight start, scowled. Out in the water, Darcy attempted to stand on her surfboard, and promptly fell off. Maria tried to help her back up, but then strangely fell in as well. He sighed, gave one last suspicious glance back at Loki, and then dove in to swim back out.

* * *

That evening they had a bonfire down on the beach. Thor had been more than happy to regale them with some of the tales of Asgard—it turned out he was a talented storyteller. He insisted Loki was far better, but one look made it clear he was in no mood for entertaining. His third story quickly dissolved into a friendly debate about the ethics of lying to one's allies, with Tony, Darcy, Clint, and surprisingly Maria arguing that it was often necessary, and Thor, Jane, Pepper and unsurprisingly Steve arguing that lying is always wrong.

Loki, Natasha and Bruce stayed out of it. Natasha felt that ethics were never as simple as people liked to think. There were some situations where things were wrong, and others where the same things were right, and you often didn't know which it would be until you got there. Loki felt that ethics, on the whole, were silly. Bruce, on the whole, stayed out of debates.

"So tell me," Natasha leaned over to murmur to Loki, watching as Steve gestured wildly in response to something outrageous Tony said. "You said once that you have a preference for redheads. I'm assuming that implies I'm not the first."

Loki gave her a dubious look. "No, you're not."

She smiled. "So spill. I'd like to hear what some of these 'experiences I cannot imagine' are."

He continued to regard her with suspicion. "My counterpart's extensive research into the mating rituals of the human species indicates that discussion of prior females is a serious faux pas," he drawled.

She chuckled. "I'm not the jealous type."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, and what type are you then?"

Natasha propped her chin on a fist. "Curious."

He considered her a moment longer. "Alright, on your head be it then. There was a girl, in Asgard, called Lorelei. Very pretty, a bit like your Rita Hayworth in appearance, but not terribly smart," he began.

Natasha rolled her eyes. The girl in question was probably perfectly intelligent, but either Loki was trying to flatter her by comparison, or he was just being an ass. Probably the latter.

"She had a talent for desire," he went on, "and a short attention span. Given enough time, I'm sure she'll work her way through all of the eligible idiots in the court of Odin. At the time our story begins, though, she had her sights set on the most eligible idiot of all." Loki jerked his head slightly towards Thor, who sat next to him, but was still engaged in another conversation. "But it seems he was proving rather..."

"Difficult?" she suggested.

"Oblivious," he clarified. "At the time he held a candle for Lady Sif, but her affections were aimed elsewhere. So Lorelei came to me with a bargain: If I were to use my magic to assist her, she would convince the dolt to back me as Odin's successor. Of course, how could I refuse such an offer? I provided her with a perfume which would put him securely in her thrall."

"Did it work?" Natasha frowned. She didn't really like the idea of such a perfume, it seemed like cheating.

"Oh yes. But Lorelei quickly grew tired of his mindless obedience—it was the thrill of the chase she enjoyed. So next she set her sights on me. I didn't think much of it at the time, we had what you would call 'chemistry.' She was beautiful, truly, and I assumed she would not desire a lengthy arrangement. Unbeknownst to me, her older sister Amora, who had much the same talent, twice as much intelligence and a prodigious skill with magic to boot, had cast a spell on her to make her fall in love with me. They had quarreled, it seemed, and Amora felt that It would be a very fitting punishment for her to have a taste of her own medicine."

"But wait, what happened to Thor?" she asked, confused.

Loki grinned. "Oh, he was still her eager plaything. He ran all about the court, proclaiming that I should be the next King of Asgard. It was highly entertaining. Unfortunately, no one much bought it. Lady Sif called Lorelei's involvement into question, and he actually struck her, poor thing. Not that Sif couldn't handle it, of course, but she was very angry about it for some time. At this point Amora also grew suspicious, and having long desired him for herself, she sought to use her wiles and spells to take him from Lorelei. When she failed, she knew some stronger magic was at hand, and only one could have given Lorelei such a thing..."

"You, of course," she laughed.

Loki bowed with false modesty. "Why of course! Who else? So she plotted with Heimdall, who had seen Lorelei leave for my chambers only minutes before, to fool Thor into thinking that he had successfully convinced everyone that I should inherit the throne, and that I would love to hear the news from him immediately." He grinned.

"Oh, no," Natasha smiled in spite of herself.

"So he bursts in," Loki laughed, "While we're... what's the phrase? _In flagrante delicto_. And his first thought is that I've somehow bewitched her and taken advantage!"

"Oh god, the look on his face must have been..." she laughed.

"Priceless!" he agreed. "Fortunately, Lorelei managed to calm him down. But she was so high on her sense of control over him and Amora's infernal spell that she decided to pick up where we left off!"

"In front of him?" she asked incredulously.

"I told you she wasn't much for brains," Loki reminded her. He shook his head, remembering.

"So, what happened then?" Natasha encouraged him.

"Yes, brother, tell her how the story ends," Thor added, making Loki jump. He had turned his attention to them at the first mention of his name.

Loki looked back at Natasha, whose eyes sparkled with mischief. She had known all along, and had continued to ask leading questions to keep him distracted. Fortunately the others were still wrapped up in their own conversations.

"Shall I tell it?" Thor suggested.

"No, it's my story," Loki said, grudgingly impressed with Natasha's cunning. "This so infuriated Thor that he was able to fight through the influence of the perfume and threaten me into releasing him from the spell."

"Oh, you leave out the best part!" Thor insisted. He turned to Natasha, continuing gleefully. "I threw Mjolnir as hard and far as I could, and then grabbed Loki by the face," here he attempted to demonstrate, but Loki dodged his grasp and gave him a warning glare, "and said if he did not release me from the spell by the time Mjolnir returned to my hand, I would not be responsible for the consequences!"

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "That seems... A little harsh."

Thor nodded, chuckling. "It was a bluff, but he didn't call it. I was half out of my mind with desire and rage."

"What happened to Lorelei?" she asked.

Loki sighed. "Perhaps it was the illicit aspect of the relationship that drew me to her, or maybe Amora's spell caused her to grow 'clingy' as you say. After that I began to become irritated with her, and she far outstayed her welcome. She pulled a particularly brainless scheme to win my affections, and I forbade her from ever seeing me again. She went running to her sister, crying for Amora to make me her pawn, much as I had done to Thor. Instead, she lifted the spell she had already placed, letting Lorelei see what a fool she had been."

Natasha blinked for a moment. "Wow. Amora sounds like a real..."

"Bitch?" Loki suggested.

Thor laughed. "I thought you two were often allies?"

He grimaced. "We have cooperated, from time to time, when one of our spells required more skill or resources than either of us had alone, but it was always a grudging sort of thing, done only because we were closely matched in ability. No one else in Asgard would have suited."

"You mean no one else would go along with your schemes," Thor teased. "Tis true, though. With the exception of Father, you and she are likely the best with magic in the realm."

Meanwhile, Natasha was thinking. "It's a good story, but not 'unimaginable.'"

Loki rolled his eyes, but Thor looked interested. "Unimaginable?"

"Loki claims to have bedroom tales that would make me blush," she teased.

He grinned. "Indeed! Perhaps you should tell her about Sleip-"

At this Loki jumped up and clapped a hand over Thor's mouth, causing Jane, who hadn't been paying attention to them, to startle badly. "No," he said in a very quiet and dangerous voice.

Thor laughed behind his hand, but motioned that he agreed.

"I'm impressed, Thor, you actually have blackmail-worthy info on the god of mischief?" Natasha asked.

"He'll never _use _it, though," Jane added. She smiled at Loki nervously.

"Of course not," Thor patted her hand and chuckled.

Loki rolled his eyes and stalked off away from the bonfire.

Jane sent Natasha a sympathetic look, but she just shrugged and followed after him.

* * *

_**A/N: **__This is one of those chapters that I imagined early on, inspired by the song I paired with it. The story that Loki tells is from _The Mighty Thor 359: In the Service of Loki _and is mostly canon. I made up the ending, though, as the comics kind of neglect to mention what happened to Lorelei except for a vague comment from Loki that suggests he may have turned her into a statue and installed her in the garden. :/ It is my favorite, the very first Thor comic I bought, and the gem of my little collection (much of which is older than me lol)._

_Many thanks to the guest reviewer who wrote about homosexuality in Norse culture. I was referring specifically to lesbianism, so don't worry, what I said still stands. And no worries, I don't think I could change the story at this point if I wanted to!_

_Up next on Saturday, more fun with Femme Loki and Natasha in Chapter 50: A Novel Idea_


	50. A Novel Idea

_This chapter and the next are dedicated to a very good friend of mine, Arie. She knows why. ;) The theme song is "Stutter" by Maroon 5._

* * *

**Chapter 50: A Novel Idea**

When Natasha awoke the next morning, Loki had already disappeared. She got up, dressed, and went to find the others. She wandered around a while before finding Darcy and Tony seated on the clubhouse patio.

"Hey, where's everyone else?" she asked by way of greeting.

"Snorkeling," Tony explained.

"Why didn't you guys go?"

"I slept in too late," Darcy admitted. She looked as though she was still half-asleep, her hair mussed and dark circles under her eyes. "Bruce told this really scary story last night, and I spent most of the night curled up alone with my flashlight."

Tony cackled gleefully. "You haven't heard that one before?"

Natasha frowned. "Where was Jane?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "She's bunking up with Thor, now."

She looked to Tony. "And your excuse?"

Tony tapped his arc reactor. "Prolonged exposure to salt water tends to make the edge of the cavity irritated. And it would be kinda weird if I wore the suit." He gave Natasha a mischievous grin. "Since you and Loki left early last night, I guess we all know _your _excuse."

Natasha gave him an exasperated glare and went to look for some juice at the bar.

"Hey, no need to be shy about it! The way you two tore up the dance floor on Saturday, I'm surprised you didn't lock yourselves in your cabin for the rest of the trip!" he called.

Darcy laughed. "Man, I wish I could have seen that," she admitted.

Tony frowned. "Where were you?"

She didn't meet his gaze, fiddling instead with her pastry. "Busy," she said evasively.

The gleeful sparkle returned to his eye. "Busy doing _what?_" he wheedled.

"Distracting Clint," Natasha supplied plainly as she came back to the table.

"Nicely done," Tony said, impressed. "We'll make a spy of you yet!"

Darcy laughed. "Hey, that reminds me," she turned in her seat to face Natasha. "Word of warning: don't call Loki 'Sir.' Apparently it pisses him off or something."

Natasha almost choked on her juice, and set it down, trying to smother a smile. "I'm sure he'd find _you_ doing that unsettling, the way you two play at flirting."

She frowned, but a grin slowly crept over Tony's face. "Oh, come on, Lewis, haven't you read _50 Shades of Gray_?" he teased.

"Oh, god that book was awful! I didn't even finish-" Darcy stopped mid-sentence, her eyes going wide. "No way!"

Tony dissolved into a fit of giggles, and Natasha was hard-put not to follow.

"You're telling me _Loki _is into all of that freaky stuff?" she demanded.

Natasha looked from her to Tony, considering. She desperately wanted to talk to _someone _about her relationship with Loki, and the usual candidates, Clint and Femme Loki, were clearly out of the running. "If I talk, you can't repeat _any _of this."

"Right," Darcy snorted, "Who am I gonna tell, Clint? Hey Babe, here's a list of the kinky things the guy who mind-fucked you is doing to your ex-girlfriend. That sounds like a fun conversation."

"I meant Jane," she drawled.

"Jane already thinks Loki is going to slit her throat in her sleep," Darcy explained. "I'm not going to feed her imagination."

They both turned to face Tony. He seemed to be fighting some kind of internal battle. At last he sighed heavily. "I guess either way, I'd have nothing to tell. Ok. At least this way I _know_." He scooted his chair in closer and leaned forward eagerly.

She sighed. "Well, there's not a lot to tell. Yes, he's into that sort of thing, we've talked about it before. But we haven't done anything all that out of the ordinary. I mean, yeah, he's pretty controlling in the bedroom, and he's a _big _fan of the ruthless quickie," she laughed-they hadn't even made it to the bed the night before, and she was surprised to find this morning that the wall didn't have scratch marks on it- "but that's it, so far. I think maybe he's wary of scaring me off at this point."

"Why? I can't see Loki being shy about something like that," Darcy frowned.

Natasha leaned back. "The first time... He went a little rough. Left a couple love-marks, nothing too bad. But it freaked him out. Once he realizes I'm not made of glass, though, I think he'll start breaking out the whips and chains," she joked.

Tony had a thoughtful look on his face. "What about the better half?"

"What?" Natasha blinked.

"You know, Femme Loki," Darcy prodded.

"What about her?" Natasha glanced between them, suspicious.

"Is she a freak between the sheets, too?" Tony asked, as if it was obvious.

"I'm not-we haven't-No!" Natasha laughed, surprised.

"No?!" Darcy sounded shocked. "Why not?"

"Yeah, everybody just kind of assumed..." Tony waved a hand, "Y'know, what's good for the gander is good for the goose?"

"She's my _friend_," she protested.

"So what's He?" Darcy teased.

"Point taken," Natasha admitted. "But we're not like that. She's not attracted to me like that. I mean, she seems curious, but..." she trailed off at their expressions.

Darcy and Tony stared at her in disbelief for a moment, and then exchanged a glance. "Then you haven't been looking," Tony said simply.

She frowned. "Really?"

"Really really. She looks at you like I look at cheesecake," Darcy drawled.

Natasha sat there a moment, stunned. She had noticed a marked difference in Loki's behavior since they had come to the island, but she had attributed it to a discomfort about her relationship with Him, and then an inner turmoil over Thor and Jane's engagement. She had never imagined that it could be _shyness_.

"Tell you what. Dinner tonight is supposed to be swanky. Did you bring anything sexy to wear?" Tony asked.

She gave him a sarcastic glare, and he laughed. "Of course, I forget who I'm talking to. Wear it, and bring a compact with a mirror. When Darcy or I give you the signal, it means Loki is giving you _the look. _Then you can see for yourself_._"

She raised an eyebrow. "What's the signal?"

Tony rubbed his nose as if it itched. Darcy caught on quickly, doing the same. She laughed and shook her head and laughed again. "Alright, it's worth a look."

* * *

Natasha smoothed her hands over the dress, and took a deep breath. She had chosen this piece with Loki in mind: it was green, and cut low in both the front and the back. It was one Clint had already seen, so she didn't risk catching his attention as well. But she had not intended to use it on _this _Loki.

The Loki in question had left for dinner a full half hour previously, using her magic to prepare dress, hair, and makeup in one fell swoop. When Natasha had glared with loathing at her own bags of makeup and curling irons and hairspray, she had even offered to do the same for her. She almost took her up on the offer, curious how Loki would dress her up, but in the end she turned her down. This needed to be a surprise.

Darcy came by to see if she was ready, and whistled low when she saw the dress. "If that doesn't work, nothing will!" she joked. They walked up to the clubhouse together, and just before they got there Darcy stopped her. "Wait here a minute," she suggested. "I'll go in and distract her so she won't see you when you first walk in."

"Right." Natasha stood on the path and waited, feeling like an idiot, for a full five minutes. This was ridiculous. Surely Tony and Darcy were mistaken. Or maybe they were seeing the hints of His personality that sometimes pushed through Hers. _That's what it must be! _she thought. She would look, and she would see the same possessive, burning gaze that she had often seen when He thought she wasn't looking.

Reassured, she strode up to the clubhouse confidently. Inside, about half of the guests milled around, chatting and sipping cocktails. Loki and Darcy were nowhere to be seen, but Tony was loitering near the bar, so she went to stand near him, putting her back to the room.

He eyed her dress and hair appreciatively. "Nice choice."

Natasha touched her hair self-consciously. She had smoothed it into a 1920's-esque wave, parted on the side so it half-hid one side of her face. "Where is she?"

Tony sipped his martini. "She and Darcy have gone to the bathroom to 'powder their noses,' which in this case I think is code for Darcy begging magic makeup off of poor Loki."

She laughed. Tony was right-Darcy was a whiz at the distraction tactic.

He glanced at something behind her for a split second. "You might want to touch up your lipstick, you got a smear," he pointed to the corner of his own mouth.

She knew her makeup was perfect, but she got the cue and took out her compact and lipstick. She fiddled with the cap a moment until Tony started rubbing his nose furiously. Lifting the mirror, she quickly found Loki's reflection, and froze.

That was _not _the arrogant, self-assured leer that would have leaked through from Him. Instead, Loki looked like the proverbial starving woman, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted. She licked her lips, the oldest tell in the book, and gave Natasha's figure a long, thorough sweep of the eyes. There was something odd about it, though. She looked pained, and Natasha was instantly reminded of one of her sisters-in-arms from the Red Room gazing through a store window at a beautiful dress she could never hope to afford.

Natasha snapped the compact closed and stowed the lipstick.

"See?" Tony said in a teasing voice.

She nodded tersely, too surprised to answer. Yes, she had seen, and yes, Tony and Darcy were most certainly correct. But what she was going to do about it was another question altogether. She turned and deliberately sauntered over to Loki. She watched closely, but now that Natasha was turned towards her, her expression was carefully guarded.

"Loki! I didn't get the chance to tell you earlier how gorgeous that dress looks on you," she said casually, and smiled. She would test her, and see how she responded to attention.

Loki glanced down at the dress she had fabricated, a long, black affair made of lace that fairly dripped off her and swept the floor. "Thanks," she said, smiling shyly. "Lace is coming into vogue," she explained.

Natasha fingered the sleeve appreciatively. "You're always so trendy," she complimented. "I just threw this old thing in my suitcase in case Stark felt like getting fancy."

"Oh, I think it's a beautiful dress!" Loki gushed. "It looks very nice on you..." her eyes dipped for the barest of seconds to the ample cleavage it revealed.

"Really?" she asked, feigning uncertainty.

"Yes. I like the color," she smiled, but then her eyes widened. "I mean, not just because I like green. It brings out your eyes, and it makes your hair look like flames," she said, her voice a little dreamy. Then she seemed to catch herself again, and darted away, ostensibly to greet Thor and Jane, who had just arrived.

Natasha put her hands on her hips, thinking. With women it was always difficult to tell if they wanted her or just wanted to _be _her. She was not completely convinced it wasn't the latter. And even if it were the first, it was possible Loki wasn't even aware of it. She would just have to bump up her game a notch and see what kind of response she got.

The remainder of the guests had arrived, and Tony led them through to one of the well-appointed ballrooms, which had a beautiful table laid out with gold-edged plates and sparkling crystal. Little name cards designated who should sit where, and there was some laughter as everyone found their seats and some even tried to trade places.

"Hey!" Tony complained. "Pepper put a lot of thought into the seating arrangements."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Oh, let them sit where they like," she laughed.

In the end, everyone ended up in their original spots anyway. Natasha was impressed, Pepper had a real knack for such things. Tony sat at the proverbial head of the table, with Pepper on his right and Natasha across from her. Loki sat to Natasha's left, and then Darcy, Clint, and Thor. Across from Thor was Jane, and then Steve, Maria and Bruce filled up the remainder of that side. No one was far from anyone they would prefer to speak with, and Darcy was perfectly positioned to keep Clint distracted.

Tony was in rare form as a host, he must have flown in half a restaurant's worth of gourmet cooks. The food was mostly local, and tasted delicious. The conversation was continued from the evening before, and ranged from the philosophy of government (largely dominated by Thor and Steve, who debated the benefits of benign monarchies and democracies respectively) to a discussion of the movies soon to start at Tony's end of the table.

"I can't wait for Les Mis to come out!" Darcy gushed. "I loved The Phantom of the Opera."

"I hear they're going to do Wicked soon, too," Pepper agreed excitedly.

Tony rolled his eyes. "But you can see those on _Broadway_. _I _want to see Django Unchained!"

"Oh god, not another Tarantino film. Steve almost had a heart attack when you showed him Inglourious Basterds," Pepper lamented.

"What about you, Bruce?" Natasha asked, leaning over. As she did so, her thigh brushed against Loki's, and she heard a quick intake of breath. "You strike me as the serious type. Maybe Lincoln?"

Bruce smiled and chuckled. "Actually, I'm really looking forward to The Hobbit. I'm a big fan of Tolkien."

"What's Tolkien?" Loki asked, clearly trying to distract herself from Natasha.

"He's a fantasy author who wrote back in the 60's and 70's. The Hobbit is being made by the same people who made movies out of his Lord of the Rings trilogy," Bruce explained.

"Oh, I've seen those," Loki said, looking to Tony and smiling. "They were gorgeous... but a little boring at times. A lot like the literature back in Asgard."

"That makes sense," Bruce said thoughtfully, "since Tolkien was emulating Anglo-Saxon poetry."

As Bruce explained the relationship between the various Norse and Germanic peoples of northern Europe, Natasha carefully placed her empty water glass in such a way so that when Loki turned to reply to a comment from Tony she knocked it off the table.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she said, quickly pulling her dress away.

"It's ok, it was empty. I got it," Natasha said kindly, and then bent down to retrieve the glass, affording Loki an excellent view right down her cleavage. When she came up, Loki was blushing furiously and pointedly looking away. Darcy, on her other side, was grinning like an idiot and gave her a surreptitious thumbs-up.

Throughout dinner, Natasha continued to employ her bag of tricks. By this point, it was obvious that Loki was indeed _very _attracted to her, but she was having too much fun to stop. For the dessert course, they were allowed a choice of several different dishes. Natasha selected Devil's Food cake with Godiva ganache frosting, and Loki decided to try Tiramisu.

After her first bite, though, Loki frowned.

"What's wrong?" Pepper asked, always the gracious hostess.

"It tastes like coffee," Loki lamented. "I hate coffee," she added quietly.

Before Pepper could offer to get her another, Natasha spoke up. "Do you want to try mine?" she asked.

Loki looked at the decadent cake, and then at Natasha, her expression changing little. "Sure," she said with a small smile. She began to reach for her fork, but Natasha moved faster, cutting a piece off and holding the fork out invitingly.

She blinked at the morsel which hovered in front of her face. She hesitated a moment, and then opened her mouth to take the bite. Her eyes slid shut as it touched her tongue, and Natasha withdrew the fork slowly.

Ignoring the slightly scandalized looks from Pepper and Bruce, Natasha grinned as Loki made a sound of pure enjoyment.

"That is _so _good," Loki admitted at last.

"I'll trade you," she suggested, lifting the plate of cake.

"Ok," Loki agreed happily, passing her the Tiramisu.

Pepper looked as if she would ask a question, and then stopped suddenly, glancing down at the table and then looking at Tony with a frown. Bruce just shrugged and turned to make conversation with Maria.

After dinner, they all got up and wandered out to the patio for more drinks and conversation. Natasha circulated once, to give Loki a chance to catch her breath, and then came back with a trademark move.

"You've got some chocolate on your lip," she lied.

"I do?" Loki asked, touching her lips and darting her tongue out to try and catch it. "Did I get it?"

"Here," Natasha brushed her thumb across Loki's bottom lip, and then brought it to her own mouth, relishing the imaginary crumb of chocolate.

Loki's lips parted, and she watched with rapt fascination. Natasha took this opportunity to step closer, but when her hand brushed Loki's hip, she jerked back, snapping out of it.

"I-I-I..." she stammered. "I have to go," she said in a rush and hurried off.

Natasha frowned. Either she had pushed too hard, or...

Just as Loki was about to leave the patio, she turned and glanced back at Natasha, hesitating for the briefest moment before she bolted.

A sly grin spread across Natasha's lips. _Or she wants to be chased_, she mused. It made sense, suddenly. Just as the other Loki had pursued her relentlessly, this Loki, as His opposite, would desire to be pursued. Well, she certainly knew how to do _that. _She found Tony and made her excuses, which wasn't difficult since he and Darcy had been watching the whole exchange like some kind of sporting event. Then she turned and took the path Loki had fled down at a leisurely pace, preparing to do something she knew she was very, very good at.

_Seduction_.

* * *

_**A/N: **__*Extended evil cackling* *clears throat* Sorry, I'm having waaaaaaaaaay too much fun with this. Tune in next Wednesday when things start to get hot in Chapter 51: The Flame and the Blade._


	51. The Flame and the Blade

_Sorry this chapter's a little late—I'm in a rush getting ready for a conference this weekend. Don't worry, I've set it up so I can post on the road!_

_The theme song for this chapter is "Bound to You" by Christina Aguilera, which is not perfect lyrically, but is the right feel for the chapter._

_A warning: this chapter earns the M rating. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to really work in a good stopping point, so if you want to skip the explicit parts you'll just have to use your best judgment as to when you should stop. But there is a little bit at the end that you'll want to catch, after the line break._

* * *

**Chapter 51: The Flame and the Blade**

Loki stood on the balcony of the room, looking out over the darkened beach and hugging her arms to herself. What had gotten into Natasha? One minute she was securely in the 'friend zone,' wondering if there was any way in the nine realms that she could work up the courage to approach her. The next, Natasha was touching her, and feeding her delicious cake, and—

"Cold?" Natasha asked as she rested her hands on Loki's shoulders lightly.

She whipped around, bumping into the railing and gripping it for balance. "Freya's tits, don't sneak up on me like that!" she gasped.

She smiled slyly. "Not my fault you were lost in thought. ...Or is it?" She took a step forward, but Loki quickly dodged around her, retreating back into the bedroom.

Loki opened her mouth to say 'I don't know what you're talking about,' but stopped when she remembered what the consequence of lying would be. "What do you want?" she said instead.

Natasha leaned against the open doorway. "That depends."

"On what?" she asked, almost afraid of what she would say.

She pushed away from the door and closed the distance between them, standing so close they almost touched. Loki had taken her shoes off, and in her stilettos Natasha was a good two inches taller. "On what you want," she said softly.

Loki sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know what I want."

"I think you do," she argued, making her open her eyes again. "Otherwise... you wouldn't be looking at me like that."

"Like what?" she asked, trying not to stare at her lips, and failing.

"Like you want me to kiss you," she murmured. When Loki said nothing to disprove her, she leaned forward, slowly, cautiously, and slid her lips across hers. Loki sighed softly, and Natasha felt a tightening in her stomach. She had almost forgotten what it was like to kiss a girl, warm and soft and pliant. She wanted to grab Loki and press her against the wall, but she was still wary of scaring her off. After a long, sweet moment she broke the kiss and looked to Loki with a question in her eyes.

Loki licked her lips, and touched them absently. Her eyes were a little hazy, but when she looked up to Natasha they cleared. "Okay, so maybe I do want you. But I don't see why you would want _me. _Wouldn't you rather I just lied, and—"

"Shh," Natasha pressed two fingers to Loki's lips. "No," she sounded amused. "This isn't about Him. This is about you, and me."

She looked nervous. "You... Don't you think he'll be... jealous?" she asked.

Natasha's chuckle was low and rich, and it made her stomach flutter in a funny way. "No, but I wouldn't care if he was. _You _want this, and _I _want this—"

"But why?" Loki interrupted. "I'm so gawky and awkward, and..." she trailed off in the face of Natasha's laughter.

"Loki, you are a graceful, beguiling, _beautiful _woman." When she continued to look doubtful, Natasha traced the line of her cheek with a finger. "Let me show you. If you say no now, I will walk away and this never happened. But please let me show you how gorgeous you are."

Loki took a deep breath and swallowed. "How?"

Natasha allowed herself a small grin of triumph, and then turned to close the balcony door and curtains. She then took Loki's hand and led her to stand at the foot of the bed, before whispering in her ear, "With a mirror, of course."

Loki's eyes fluttered shut, and a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she realized what Natasha wanted. When she opened them again, there was a beautiful ornate mirror where the headboard had been before. There were other mirrors about the room, and the lights had given way to flickering candles.

Natasha looked around, nodding her approval. "Very nice." She moved to stand behind Loki, so she could see her reflection in the largest mirror. "See?" she trailed a finger down the side of Loki's face, down her neck and onto her shoulder. "Beautiful."

She bit her lip. "I see that _you _are beautiful. Next to you I look—"

"Is a flame more beautiful or more deadly than a blade?" Natasha interrupted.

Loki, surprised, found she had no answer.

"Someone once told me that my beauty was like a flame, that it consumed the hearts of anyone who looked too long," Natasha explained. "Your beauty is like a blade, sharp and cutting," she traced a finger over her cheekbone. "With a single look you could pierce the unwary heart. Comparing the two is pointless—it would be like comparing a bird to a cat."

"A cat?" Loki asked, smiling a little.

Natasha returned the smile, and slipped the barrette from Loki's hair. "Yes. You make me think of a Siamese cat, slender and tall, with regal poise." She did not add that her counterpart made her think of a much larger and more dangerous feline predator.

Loki seemed to like the idea, and relaxed as Natasha swept the mass of her dark hair over her shoulder. She kissed the nape of her neck, and touched the jet choker she wore, thinking to remove it. But she hesitated, catching sight of the matching cuffs on either wrist, and decided to leave them on. Instead, she began deftly undoing the tiny buttons of the outer layer of her lace dress. Loki's breath began to quicken as Natasha slowly pushed the fabric off her shoulders and down her arms, letting it fall to reveal the long black slip she wore beneath.

With her practiced eye, Natasha could see that Loki had forgone her advice and wore nothing beneath the slip. She gave her a look in the mirror that said _you naughty girl_, and Loki blushed, biting her lip. Sliding her hands around Loki's waist, Natasha relished the feel of the silk fabric, which was so thin she could feel the warmth of her skin right through it. Loki gasped softly as Natasha pressed her back against her, at the feel of her full breasts pushed up against her shoulder blades.

Loki watched in the mirror as Natasha's hands drifted upward with agonizing slowness, until they slid over the peaks of her more modest endowments. As if sensing the mental comparison, Natasha gave them an affectionate squeeze and said, "I like these. They're perky."

She giggled, but accepted the compliment. She was quickly distracted as Natasha's hands inched higher, tracing her collarbones and taking the straps of the slip with them. They fell off her shoulders, and Natasha dragged them lower, revealing Loki to her gaze in the mirror inch by inch.

"And so lovely," she added, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She slid her hands over Loki's bare skin, following much the same path as before. Loki let out a whimper, her hands darting up to bury themselves in Natasha's hair. She moaned as Natasha took a firm grip, kneading and pushing her breasts together before releasing them to tease a delicate pink nipple with one hand. The other drifted lower, pushing the material of the slip down over her hip until it fell to join the lace on the floor.

A sense of frozen anticipation washed over Loki as she saw Natasha's hungry gaze, and the whole of her world dwindled to the sight and sensation of her hand snaking across her stomach and lower, lower, until her fingers disappeared into the small thatch of black curls. Loki's mouth dropped open in a silent 'O' of surprise at the exquisite sensation they elicited there. Not even she had touched herself so privately, not since the change, and this was entirely different from what she had experienced before.

Natasha continued to work her own brand of magic, desire stirring in her at the deliciously innocent sounds Loki made. She kept on until Loki began to falter, her knees growing weak and her body limp. Then she suddenly let go, allowing her to fall onto the bed in front of them.

Shocked out of her trance, Loki turned onto her back to see Natasha staring down at her with a self-satisfied smirk. She watched as she reached to unzip her dress, and then unhook the strap behind her neck. Kicking out of her shoes, she slid the fabric of her dress down her body, clearly enjoying the touch of her own hands. But what really got Loki's attention was what they revealed: Natasha now wore a red and black corset, black silk stockings, and a matching thong. Loki was overwhelmed by the realization that she had been secretly wearing them the whole evening. She had been wearing them while she talked to her, while she touched her, while she...

Loki frowned. "You planned this," she said with wonder.

Natasha grinned. "Of course I _planned_ this, did you think I would seduce you by accident?" she knelt on the bed, straddling Loki's narrow hips. "Although..." she reached down and traced a finger along her midline, eliciting a gasp. "I wish I would have had the foresight to bring a couple toys."

"Toys?" Loki's eyes went wide. Of course, she had read about such things, but she had never imagined that she _owned _any. Natasha laughed at her expression, and Loki realized that was probably a very silly assumption on her part.

"I haven't had much use for them lately," she admitted, "but it would be so much fun to use them on you..." her voice and her smile promised that it would, and she bent forward to kiss away Loki's shocked look. "But not this first time, of course," she murmured softly against her lips.

Loki laid back, her head swimming with Natasha's kisses and the implications of _this first time_. Natasha began to trail her lips lower, and gazing up at the blank ceiling Loki quickly magicked a mirror there as well before she lost the ability to concentrate enough.

Natasha noticed the way the light changed, and glanced upward with a raised eyebrow. "You're enjoying this," she teased with a smirk.

"Yes," Loki breathed, but when she felt Natasha's hand graze her ribs, she still flinched.

She sat back, thoughtful. For this to work, she needed Loki to relax. She stepped back off the bed. "Lay on your stomach," she gestured towards the pillows at the head of the bed. As Loki did as she was told, she watched Natasha dig around in her suitcase a minute, coming back with a bottle of something. She crawled onto the bed, pressing a couple kisses between her shoulder blades before straddling her hips again.

Loki found if she turned her head she could see their reflection in one of the smaller mirrors. She watched as Natasha poured a measure of something into her hands, and then rubbed them together before smoothing them over her back. Loki hummed appreciatively at the warm, slick feeling of Natasha's fingers teasing the tension out of her muscles.

As she worked, Natasha had a rare moment of self-doubt. Why was she doing this? It had been such a long time since she had used her wiles without a very specific goal in mind. Of course Loki would come along and throw a wrench into all that. She had spent so much time and effort resisting Him that by the time she gave in it seemed like the inevitable. She could rationalize that it gave Him a sense of control and gave her a way to manipulate him into cooperating with SHIELD, but this was different. _She _was the one in control here, and Femme Loki was more than happy to cooperate of her own free will.

Loki moaned as Natasha released a particularly stubborn knot, and she felt her insides clench involuntarily at the sound. She took stock of her body, so often ignored, and found that her level of arousal was far beyond what she had guessed. _Alright_, she decided, _so I'm doing this because I _want_ to._

Satisfied that Loki was adequately relaxed, she slipped to the side and turned her over, kissing her deeply before she could start second-guessing again. This time she was much more responsive, wrapping her arms around her waist and opening her mouth to permit her access. Natasha pressed her advantage, slipping her tongue past Loki's lips and exploring. Her hands, still slicked with oil, found Loki's breasts, and she moaned loudly against her kiss, arching her back up to fill her hands eagerly.

Leaving her lips, Natasha dipped her head to flick a nipple with her tongue. Loki let out a surprised yip, and Natasha chuckled.

"That oil can't taste good," Loki gasped.

"On the contrary," Natasha smirked, smearing her thumb over Loki's lips. "Taste."

Obediently, Loki licked her lips, catching Natasha's thumb in the process. They tasted like marshmallows. Feeling bold, Loki captured Natasha's thumb with her lips and sucked eagerly. "Mmmm," she agreed.

Natasha's eyebrows raised appreciatively, and she rewarded Loki's bravery by slipping her other hand between her legs and spreading the oil there as well, mimicking the motions Loki made with her tongue. Surprised, Loki stilled, and so did the assassin's talented fingers. She frowned, but Natasha gave her a look and licked her lips suggestively. Hesitant, Loki stroked her thumb with her tongue, and gasped as Natasha flexed her finger in a matching pattern.

Loki caught on quickly, and was eagerly fascinated by this indirect method of pleasuring herself. She quickly became distracted by the sensations, though, and wasn't able to focus on what she was doing for very long. Natasha pulled her hands away, and Loki whimpered at the loss before she felt them return, gently urging her legs apart. She watched wide-eyed as Natasha blazed a trail of kisses down her chest and stomach, glancing up just as she reached her destination...

Natasha was well-prepared for the jerk of her hips as she first touched her tongue to her most sensitive spot. She pulled back quickly, and gave Loki a warning glance. "Hold still," she ordered.

Loki nodded eagerly, even as she wasn't sure how she could possibly obey. If she had been astounded by the sensations that Natasha's fingers elicited, it was nothing compared to what she did now with her mouth. She clutched the pillow behind her head tightly, and stared at her reflection above, her surprise and pleasure etched in every line of her body. She felt—she _was_—beautiful.

Just when she thought she could not tolerate another moment of the exquisite torture, Natasha slipped a single finger inside of her. The sweet invasion was so foreign, so unfamiliar, that for a moment it stilled her rising passion. Then she began to move, stroking a spot deep inside of her that burned like fire, and she cried out as the unexpected rush of ecstasy sent her careening over the precipice.

Natasha watched her face, fascinated by the untutored ardor she saw there. It gave her a hell of a high, knowing that _she _was the cause of this, that _she _had made Loki feel things she had never dreamed of. She waited until the last tremors had passed, and then once again straddled her hips. "What do you think?" she murmured softly, brushing away a lock of inky hair that had fallen into her face.

Still gasping for breath, Loki regarded Natasha with wonder. "I think..." she swallowed, "that I want... more."

"More?" Natasha tilted her head, curious.

Gathering her courage, Loki reached up to undo the bow of her corset laces. Released from their confines, the sides of the corset sighed apart, and her ample breasts threatened to spill out. "More," Loki managed to say, although her mouth had gone dry. Natasha grinned as she watched Loki pull the laces loose, and she sat up to quickly undo the hooks in the back with quick efficiency—glad to have picked up the trick of it as a girl. When the last was undone, Natasha drew it away, moving her legs so she could sit comfortably in Loki's lap.

For her part, Loki's gaze remained riveted on Natasha's exposed assets. She swallowed thickly and cautiously slid her hands up Natasha's sides. She hesitated at the last minute, and Natasha grinned, putting her own hands over Loki's and moving them where they wanted to go. Loki's lips parted, and then she smiled, looking almost intoxicated.

"They're so soft," she murmured, and gave them a gentle squeeze before leaning forward to press her face into the valley between them.

Natasha giggled, it was a favorite gesture of her counterpart, though she had no way of knowing it. Loki liked the way her laugh made her jiggle slightly in her hands, and tentatively stuck her tongue out for the barest little taste. She glanced up to gauge Natasha's reaction. She looked amused.

"Am I doing this right?" she asked self-consciously.

Natasha wove her fingers into Loki's hair and kissed her forehead softly. "You do whatever you _want _to do," she murmured encouragingly.

Loki sighed contentedly, and then considered the bounty before her once more. Without further hesitation, she drew one nipple into her mouth and began to tease it mercilessly.

Surprised, Natasha's hands tightened in her hair, and she moaned appreciatively. Without much warning, she found herself on her back, and glanced up at the mirror to see that her panties and stockings were suddenly missing. _Magic_, she reminded herself, and then rational thought fled as Loki pressed her lithe body against hers.

"Oh, Natasha," she whispered. "You feel so good."

Natasha returned the sentiment with a soft hum and an arched back. Her appetites had always been flexible as necessary, but she found Loki's deliciously feminine softness erotic without any mental encouragement. They kissed for a long moment, lips and tongues and arms and legs twining and sliding to their sighs and murmurs.

Encouraged by her eager responses, Loki moved lower, drawing her tongue along the crease of Natasha's cleavage, and then dipping it into the recess of her navel. She slipped between her legs, determined to return the favor, but suddenly she hesitated.

She knew that at one point she had been good at this. Her former self had earned something of a reputation for it, and the eponymous 'silver-tongue' had served as a double entendre for centuries. But having now experienced it first hand cast it in an entirely new light, and she wondered if any of the tricks and techniques he had picked up were any good.

Sensing her reluctance, Natasha reached down to brush a hand over her head. "Loki, you don't have to if—" the end of her sentence was lost in a surprised cry as Loki went at it with a determined vigor.

She quickly had Natasha clutching the covers and mewling her name, but in some way it wasn't enough. She knew that He could do this for her, that He probably did, and she wanted, as always, to be _better _than him. With a smirk, she cast a small spell that made the tips of her fingers tingle, and then slipped two of them into Natasha's warm, moist center, mimicking the same beckoning motion she had used on her earlier.

Natasha let out a string of Russian invectives at the unique sensation, and then lost the capacity for coherent thought as fireworks seemed to go off in her brain. When her vision cleared, Loki was hovering over her with an oddly familiar smirk on her face.

"Did you like that?" she asked mockingly, the answer obvious.

"I think," Natasha scowled playfully, "that you give new meaning to the phrase _magic hands_," and with that she flipped Loki onto her back, which made her giggle, and proceeded to take her revenge.

* * *

Hours later, Natasha lay awake, staring up at the mirror on the ceiling. Loki was fast asleep, worn out, and clung to her side like a life preserver. They had changed into their pajamas, and when Loki had cautiously crawled back into Natasha's arms, she had been unable to refuse her. She was unfamiliar with post-coital affection, but had grown used to Loki's possessive moods afterwards. Who knew the god of mischief liked to cuddle?

She looked down at her sleeping face, expecting to find it untroubled and relaxed. Instead, she slept with a small crease between her eyebrows, as if something bothered her, even while unconscious. For a moment, Natasha pictured an affection-starved little boy rocking himself to sleep in a lonely, oversized palace bedroom. It made her remember her dream of the Snow Queen, of Loki as the lost little frozen boy, Kai. No wonder Loki was a little fucked-up in the emotional department; she didn't know what a normal childhood was like, but she was pretty sure he hadn't gotten one either.

Natasha kissed the little crease, and was inordinately pleased to see it smooth away. A sense of suspicion rose to mirror the warm feeling in her heart, but she quashed it down. She wanted her friend to be happy, where was the harm in that? It didn't mean she was going soft. She nestled against Loki comfortably, and closed her eyes to sleep.

* * *

_**A/N: **__So, that is officially my first time writing a non-het sex scene. I haven't had to use that much imagination since before I got married! lol. I think it turned out alright, but I would really appreciate feedback._

_I would like to respond to a particularly good guest review by "faithful reader." You, my friend, are right on. I want to address your comments because I figure if one person is thinking it, there's probably more. _

_Yes, Natasha has been through hell sexually, and if you recall earlier conversations between her and Loki and Dr. Bryardie, she does _**not** _swing that way, probably for those very reasons. But she's never going to admit that's why, even to herself. As she becomes more emotionally invested in her relationship with Loki, she'll have to examine these issues more closely. But also keep in mind there are many different degrees of BDSM, and Loki has a very creative mind. I could say more, but I don't want to spoil anything. You'll just have to keep reading! _

_But I want you and any other readers concerned about these issues to know I'm not going to pull a "oh, it's ok because they're in LOOOOVE now." I hate that. As someone who isn't exactly conventional in her tastes who is in a relationship with someone who is as vanilla as they come, I know it can be a very long road to understanding and acceptance... but it can also bring you closer._

_Ok, now I'M rambling lol. Tune in on Saturday for Dude Loki's reaction in Chapter 52: The Morning After!_


	52. The Morning After

_Greetings from Kentucky! The theme song for this chapter is "One More Night" by Maroon 5. I think it fits nicely._

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**Chapter 52: The Morning After**

Loki knew she was stalling. She also knew it was silly of her—after all, she wouldn't really have to deal with her counterpart's reaction, except perhaps in the form of an angry letter. But she cared for Natasha, and didn't want her to have to deal with it either.

"He's more likely to be pissed if you're late," Natasha reminded her. It was already 9 o'clock in the morning, and still Loki had not changed.

She sighed. "I know. I just..." she trailed off, flopping down on the couch.

"What?" Natasha sat down on the couch beside her, close enough to touch, but not provocatively so.

Loki swallowed. "I wish I could be there, somehow, to serve as a mediator between you two."

Natasha smiled. "That's sweet, but—" she didn't even bother to look surprised when Loki changed. One of these days she would find Loki's tell—if there even was one.

Loki sat very still for a moment. Natasha half expected him to shoot off some witty remark about his counterpart's lie, but instead he was silent. She waited for him to speak, for once unable to read what was going on in his mind.

At last he licked his lips contemplatively. "Well. That was... interesting."

Belatedly, Natasha realized that because this Loki was conscious of everything that happened while Femme Loki was present, he would have experienced everything they had done the night before. Physically.

"Good interesting or bad interesting? It's kind of an ambiguous word," Natasha asked.

He blinked. "Intentionally so," he agreed, "as I am yet unsure how to react."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Did you not enjoy it?"

He laughed, a breathless chuckle. "Oh, it was very enjoyable. But also very strange..."

Natasha smiled a little. "Strange can be good."

Loki looked at her more clearly, as if seeing her for the first time. "Why did you do it? Why seduce Her?"

"I didn't, really," she sighed. "She already wanted me. And I discovered that I wanted her too. Apparently everyone else thought we were already together, so I saw no reason not to do as we liked."

He scowled. "You could have asked me, first."

Now both of Natasha's eyebrows shot up. "I don't need your permission to do anything. It's Her body, too, you know, and you can't expect her to live like a monk because you're uncomfortable riding shotgun to her pleasure. And besides, you're the one who suggested it in the first place, so you have no room to complain."

Loki's eyes widened, surprised as always at Natasha's ability to cut to the heart of the matter with so few words. He sighed. "I misspoke. I wish you would have _warned _me first, so I could... mentally prepare myself. I didn't expect things to... progress so quickly." As he spoke, he realized how foolish he sounded.

But Natasha just laid a hand on his arm. "Ok. I'm sorry about that. I didn't know I was going to do it until yesterday, so there wasn't time to warn you. I should have waited."

"No," Loki closed his eyes, frustrated with how he was handling this. "You're right again." He opened his eyes and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Waiting would have given her time to over-think it. As usual, you are far wiser than your years should allow."

Natasha frowned, and bit her lip a little, thinking. "Loki, how old do you think I am?"

Loki's expression mirrored hers, but then he grinned. "This is a trick question, right? I'm supposed to lie and list some inordinately small number, to flatter you. Are you so eager to have Her back?" he teased.

She smiled a little, but shook her head. "No, I want to know, honestly, how old you think I am."

He raised an eyebrow, doubting, but she just held his stare. He shrugged eloquently, and made a careful study of her face. She had no tell-tale fine lines, and the back edge of her jaw was still rounded. He wasn't terribly familiar with the aging rate of humans, but he knew enough for this to tell him she had not yet entered her third decade. Her shape was fully matured, though, with wide hips and full breasts. She had a thin waist and firm arms, but that was as likely a product of hard work and exercise as it was to be from youth. Mentally, she was certainly mature, but that could easily be born from a traumatic childhood.

After a long moment, he decided on a number. "Twenty-six," he guessed.

She smiled, amused. "A good guess. I'm flattered, but no. If I was twenty-six, the Berlin wall would have been torn down when I was four or five, about the age I began at the Red Room. Why would the Russian government spend so much money on a project to enforce a way of life that was already dying?"

Loki pursed his lips. "Twenty-nine?"

This time, Natasha laughed. "This will take a long time if you go in increments of three," she warned.

Now he frowned. So not thirty, then. "Thirty-five?" It was the highest number he thought reasonable, if she had taken very, very good care of herself. Which he somehow doubted.

She made a gesture with her hand to indicate he should keep going.

He blinked. "You cannot be forty," he said, incredulous.

"I'm not forty," she agreed. "I haven't been forty for some time."

Loki suddenly caught on. There was something which made Natasha look much younger than she actually was. He thought of Steve Rogers, who by all appearances was a young man in his prime, but who had confided to Her that he was actually over ninety, and as a result was often as at odds with popular culture as She was.

"Fifty? Sixty? ..._Seventy?_" he continued to guess, wondering how long he should continue.

She sensed his frustration and relented. "I was born in 1934. Next April I will turn seventy-nine."

He sat silent a moment. What to say to such a revelation? "If it makes you feel any better, I'm still cradle-robbing by Asgardian standards."

She chuckled. "Steve said you were something like twelve hundred years old," she remembered.

Loki had a thoughtful look. "Rogers knows, then?"

She nodded. "I met him when I was a child. In 1941. He remembers."

"Who else?"

"Fury, Hill and Clint, of course, and Tony, who snooped in everyone's SHIELD files."

Loki was surprised that Clint knew. It was not something he had revealed to him. He knew that Clint had been resisting his possession, and now wondered what other facts he had managed to withhold about Natasha.

"How? I thought Captain America was the only super soldier? Assuming, of course, that it's not some other form of longevity," he sounded confused.

"It's similar, and yes, he's the only one that was wholly perfect. What I got was the watered-down version. A scientist named Vanko had worked with Howard Stark, Tony's father, at the time that Steve was... transformed. When he was deported back to Russia, he stole some of Stark's notes and materials, and from them tried to develop his own super serum. His experiments were not as... successful, but the Russian government was more than happy to provide him with an endless string of test subjects to perfect the formula. By the time I volunteered, he had it mostly worked out."

"Mostly?" Loki hazarded.

"Yes. It wasn't as good as Stark's. It didn't, for instance, change me physically or enhance my strength to the same degree. It did make me faster, physically and mentally, increase my endurance and my rate of healing, and basically stopped me from aging. But the process took days, not minutes, and it was... excruciating. At least half of the subjects still didn't survive. The ones that did were usually from various training programs, like me, who were already well acquainted with pain." she shuddered almost imperceptibly. Loki wondered if she was even aware of it.

"So there are others like you?" Loki asked.

"Not many. I killed most of them, some for Russia, some for SHIELD. A couple for personal reasons." Her face darkened with the memories.

"Then... you are not immortal?" his voice was quiet.

"No," she smiled grimly. "I can die, although it takes a lot."

Loki frowned. "So what you're telling me is that you could potentially live forever, if you stayed out of harm's way, but you choose to live a very dangerous life?" His tone clearly conveyed his disapproval.

She scowled back at him. "How is that any different from life in Asgard?" she argued.

A year ago, he would have given her a lecture on the idiocy of Asgardian culture, how he had actively avoided battle for these exact reasons. But now, after he had instigated an inter-galactic war, it would be empty hypocrisy. He stood, pacing. He wasn't sure why he was so disturbed by the idea of Natasha throwing away her potential immortality, but it rankled severely.

"I need time," he said suddenly, before he even thought it. "To think about all this," he covered, and then froze a moment before he realized it wasn't really a lie.

"That's fair," Natasha agreed.

And without another word, Loki strode quickly out of their cabin, letting the door slam shut behind him.

Natasha sighed, feeling as if she had been holding her breath for an hour. She had successfully diverted the conversation away from last night's indiscretions, but at what cost? She had promised to tell him about these things, but was now really the best time? _When is it _ever _a good time to discuss such things? _she mused darkly. Better to get it over with and deal with the consequences, she supposed.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Don't worry! He'll figure it out. He's just got to be a stubborn ass about it._

_The information on Natasha's past is a hodge-podge of canon info from the comics and head-canon. I'm not as familiar with the Avengers comics as I am with Thor, so I had to do a little research for this. I picked her age by guessing she met Captain America (which is canonical, btw) when she was 7. I prefer versions where Natasha is semi-immortal, because that kind of Russian agent just doesn't make a lot of sense contemporarily, unless she's working for the mafia instead of the government, but the back story is pretty clear on that topic._

_Anyway, I'll be back on Wednesday with chapter 53: Like a God._


	53. Like A God

_Well, I've made it back home from my conference! I've been super busy with my independent business, so I haven't had a lot of time to reply to reviews, but I appreciate every single one of them._

_The song for this chapter is "World So Cold" by Three Days Grace. It's one of my favorites for Loki, although it doesn't really fit this chapter very well. I'm running out of songs! Suggestions would be more than welcome._

* * *

**Chapter 53: Like A God**

Loki scowled at the fine, bright morning. It was not the kind of weather that suited brooding. He knew that was what he was doing, and it galled him that he couldn't at least have a nice rainstorm. He was accustomed, by dent of his sorcery, to the weather mirroring his bad moods, but apparently only She got to be dramatic on such a scale now. He was reduced to squinting at the glaring sun as he contemplated all of his recent revelations.

He did not want to admit, even to himself, why the prospect of an immortal Natasha had upset him so much. He had only recently considered the fact of her mortality, thanks to Thor. He had not been greatly saddened at the time, only surprised and maybe a little relieved. He didn't like to admit it, but knowing that they would eventually be forced to part, because of her death if nothing else, made his relationship with her easier to categorize. If it were only temporary, there was no need to delve into the more serious ramifications of their attraction to each other. It would be over soon enough (relatively, in the scale of Loki's life), and why waste precious time on such theoretical questions?

But if Natasha was _not _mortal, at least not to the extent of average humans, if there was a chance at centuries, or more... Unbidden, the thought of the Helm of Awe sprang into his mind. His counterpart had already cast the minor version of it on Natasha once, as a sort of tracking spell, but that was not its original purpose. It created a link between the caster and the subject of the spell, and in its complete form, this link was strong enough to transfer vital energy between the two. The purpose of the link was simple: if one end of the connection was injured, the injury would be split between the two of them, lessening it's effect. If enough damage was done, both parties would perish, but it would take a very considerable force to kill either Loki or Natasha. Together, it would be nearly impossible.

A riot of emotions was born from this thought. His first reaction, a sense of relief that Natasha would be out of harm's way, was quickly followed by a sort of gleeful internal cackling when he realized that he, too, would be rendered practically invincible. This in turn created a sense of shame at his own selfishness, and this, naturally, reminded him of his past sins and thereby the existence of Femme Loki and his own inability to perform magic of any kind. He was sickened by the idea of asking Her to do something like this-if he were to do it at all, he must do it himself. Lastly, he was overtaken by a sinking feeling as he remembered Natasha's reaction to Her brief explanation of the spell. She probably wouldn't want it anyway.

All of this occurred in the space between two heartbeats, and Loki clutched at his head. His brain chose this moment to remind him of the change in Natasha and his counterpart's relationship. Perhaps with their growing closeness, Natasha _would _be willing to participate in the spell, for _Her _sake, to help counteract the vulnerabilities of Her newly mortal form. This thought made Loki intensely jealous, on top of the rising envy he already felt for Her. She had made Natasha cry out in _Russian_, an achievement he had yet to claim, on their first tryst.

He sighed, and tried to still the violent storm of emotions within him. Now would be an excellent time to get roaringly drunk. He looked up to see the clubhouse ahead of him, the fully-stocked bar glittering through the plate-glass windows. Surely somewhere in the array of colorful bottles was some substance that could dull his mind enough to let him _think_.

As he pushed open the door, he was disappointed to see that he would not be alone. But when the figure at the bar turned and revealed itself to be Tony, his spirit lifted a little. As he walked to the bar, Tony was mixing himself a rather large drink.

"Trouble in paradise?" Loki asked.

"No, it's a Mai Tai," Tony joked. "Seriously, though, no. Especially now that you're here, so I won't be breaking Pepper's rules."

"What rules?" he sat at one of the stools.

"Never drink alone, namely, but also never drink until I'm smashed, and never when I'm upset," Tony ticked them off on the fingers of one hand.

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Well don't tell Pepper, but I intended to break all three."

Tony gave him a wary look. "You know, the last time you told me you wanted to get wasted..."

He rolled his eyes. "No."

"Oh good," he replied cheerfully, "Because A) I'm married now," he waggled the fingers of his left hand to show his ring, "And B) you're not really my type. Something I can get you?" he turned to glance over the shelves of alcohol.

Loki sighed. "I should _like _to drink something that will actually affect me," he lamented, "Although I'm not sure there is such a thing on Midgard."

Rubbing his hands together, Tony chuckled. "Yeah, that stuff She gave me was harsh, man. Ooh, goody!" he reached up and snagged a small bottle off one of the higher shelves. "You should give this a try. It's illegal in the states. If that doesn't work, we should try Applejack, but I don't see any here," he glanced over the bottles again as he got out a tumbler and put it in front of Loki with the bottle.

Loki picked up the bottle, studying the label. It had a green fairy on it (or at least what Midgardians imagined the fey to resemble, which was quite a different thing) and read "Absinthe." The liquid inside was a startling shade of light green, precisely the color of Natasha's eyes. The irony suited his mood perfectly. He poured himself a generous measure, and shot it straight back.

Tony gave him a look like he wanted to warn him to be careful, and then thought better of it. Instead he sat down two stools away and began to work on his Mai Tai.

The moment the absinthe hit Loki's tongue, he knew Tony had chosen well. The effect, which would have induced choked coughing in a lesser man, was bracing, and reminded him very much of a libation he had once been offered in Alfhiem. He stared again at the bottle-perhaps the association was more fitting than he guessed. Once in his stomach, the poison quickly began to work its magic, spreading fiery warmth through his body and making his head feel light.

"Soooo... Rough night?" Tony guessed. His teasing smile revealed that he thought he already knew the source of Loki's troubles.

He scowled in response. "You had something to do with this, didn't you?"

The cocky smile was all the answer he needed, but Tony always liked to crow... "Oh yeah. Darcy and I set them up. Not sure if she meant it as revenge or gratitude, but I was just in it for shits and giggles."

Loki groaned, and poured himself a larger glass of the green liquor, but took his time with it. "Well on top of _that_, she chooses now to reveal some of her history to me. Her rather _extended _history."

"Aaaah," he nodded. "You found out Natasha is part of our little club?"

He frowned. "What club?"

"The super-serum club. Most of us Avengers have some connection to it. Steve is obvious, and me as well, even though it's rather second-hand: my dad's success landed him a slew of weapons contracts from the US government, the end result of which is my prodigious fortune, and, indirectly I suppose, this." He tapped his arc reactor through the AC/DC shirt he wore. "Bruce was actually trying to figure out the energy component of the process when 'the accident' happened, and Natasha..." He trailed off. "Actually, I'm not really sure how much I should say on that subject."

Loki took another sip and raised his eyebrow. "You have no qualms over hacking into SHIELD's database to view her private files, but you won't share that information with others?"

Tony frowned a little. "Hey, I did that for a good reason. I had to set up a Batman gambit in case one of the Avengers went rogue."

Choosing to ignore Tony's convoluted ethical system and the pop-culture reference (which was lost on him, as usual), Loki decided to change the subject. "And what about you? Isn't this supposed to be your honeymoon?"

Tony smiled into his drink. "Yeah, but I'm only tolerable in small doses. Pepper has a higher-than-average tolerance for my personality, but I try not to push it. You know what they say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.' So I sent her off to the spa for some 'her' time. She'll thank me for it later."

Loki was suddenly aware of the similarities in their personalities. Of all the Avengers, Tony was the most like him. He supposed that was why he was often amused by him, and at other times couldn't stand him. Fortunately this was not one of the latter times, and the two men fell into an easy and companionable silence.

* * *

It was this peaceable quiet that a very flustered Happy barged into some twenty minutes later. Before he could state the reason for his agitation, he scowled at their drinks.

"Geez, you guys, it's not even 10 AM!" he chastised them.

Tony glanced at his watch. "It's way past five o'clock on the west coast," he argued.

Loki shrugged. "In Asgard, it is not uncommon to partake in strong spirits early in the morning. Especially when large quantities of them were consumed the night before."

Happy just rolled his eyes. "Look, we're having a bit of a security issue, so I need you to-" He was interrupted as a local woman burst into the room. She had tears streaming down her face, a bundle in her arms, and was speaking rapidly in her native language. She tried to rush up to Tony, but Happy caught hold of her.

"What's going on?" Tony demanded.

"I have no idea, I can't understand a word she's saying," Happy lamented.

Loki slipped off his barstool, frowning. "She wants to know if the Big Man can save her granddaughter's life," he said somberly.

"How do you know what she's saying?" Happy asked at the same time that Tony said "Who's the Big Man?"

Loki ignored Happy's question and gave Tony a look. "You've been constantly bragging about how you own this island since we got here. Who do you _think _the big man is?" He walked to the woman, murmuring soothing words to her the others didn't understand. She seemed greatly relieved, and held the bundle out to him. He took it, and folded back the cloth to reveal a tiny newborn infant. Her skin had a grayish tinge to it, and she seemed to be struggling to breathe.

"This girl was born less than an hour ago, and was several weeks too early," he explained, stroking the baby's forehead gently as he translated. "She needs medical attention, quickly."

"Bruce," Tony said suddenly. "Where's Bruce?"

"Probably meditating," Loki turned and handed the tiny bundle to Tony. He took it awkwardly, terrified by its fragility. "I'll go find him," he offered, and then rushed out the door, betraying his agitated state.

Tony stared down at the gasping child, at her crying grandmother, and a very upset Happy. Today was not shaping up to be a great day.

* * *

Loki ran along the narrow path that wound through the dense jungle undergrowth. His counterpart had accidentally discovered Bruce's preferred meditation spot while she had been recovering from the shock of Thor's announcement. He had offered to let her share it, and she had politely declined, not sure she could ever be at peace so near him. Since then, Loki had skirted the area in either form. Now, he wasted no time on politeness, bursting into the small clearing next to the waterfall with no warning.

Bruce, for his part, didn't even flinch. "What is it?" he asked, clearly reading the anxiety in Loki's breathless state.

"One of the locals has given birth, and there's something wrong with the child," he gasped out.

"Tell me everything you remember," Bruce instructed as he stood, already making his hurried way back to the clubhouse.

Loki gave a thorough description of the infant's condition as they half-ran, half-jogged along the path. Bruce's face grew darker with every word.

"There's not much I can do without access to tools," he said, worried.

A thought occurred to Loki, and he quashed the feelings of jealousy and inadequacy it engendered. "The child is a boy, by the way," he said absently.

Bruce nodded, and then did a double-take. It was the first time he had seen Loki change.

"I assume I'm here for a reason?" Loki asked, staring at her unexpected surroundings.

"Walk with me while I explain," Bruce said kindly. "I think I may need your help."

He detailed the situation as best he could, considering his information was second-hand, and they reached the clubhouse just as he was finishing. Loki ran straight to Tony and took the baby from his hands. Bruce looked her over, frowning.

"I need a stethoscope," he told her.

She nodded. "Check your pocket."

Bruce felt the extra weight suddenly materialize in one of the oversized pockets on his cargo pants. He took it out, put it on and pressed the end of it to the tiny chest. "That's what I thought," he sighed. "There's something wrong with her heart. Can you take a look?"

Loki nodded, and began to look through the baby in her arms, examining the complex muscle fiber by fiber. Suddenly, she gasped.

Bruce looked up. "What?"

"There... There's a hole, in the fourth chamber," she said weakly.

"How big?" he asked grimly.

She frowned, focusing. "A little more than a centimeter in diameter," she guessed.

He sighed and took off the stethoscope. "Damn," he said softly, shaking his head. "Even if I was a NICU cardiac surgeon and we were in an operating room right now, there's a good chance I couldn't save her life. Now, here..." he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Tony had been watching the whole exchange, looking from Bruce to Loki and back again. "Isn't there something you can do?" he asked her, his voice strained with hope.

She bit her lip a moment. "No, Tony. My magic works on the molecular level or smaller. At the cellular level..." she tried to think how to explain.

"It's vastly more complicated," Bruce agreed.

"I... I could have learned. My mother is very good at it. But I..." she looked down at the dying infant, tears forming in her eyes. "I thought it was a waste of time..."

At the somber expressions of the small group, the child's grandmother began to worry. She asked them a question, but Femme Loki, being human, lacked the gift of All Tongues that her counterpoint enjoyed. Realizing they didn't understand, the woman turned to Loki and addressed her specifically, asking another question.

Happy's face lit up. "I know that word, it means brother. I think she wants to know where your brother is," he offered.

Loki frowned. "What does Thor have to do with..."

"She means the guy that looks a lot like you," Tony explained rudely, as if it were obvious. "We need our translator back."

Stung by the implication that she was no longer of use, Loki nodded, handed the baby to Bruce, and left the room, head down. She walked in the kitchen to see Darcy raiding the ice cream selection with Clint. They looked up with guilty expressions.

"Hey, are you ok?" Darcy asked, noticing the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes at any moment.

"Yeah," Loki sniffed. When that didn't work, she elaborated. "Just, you know... Thor," she flailed. It was possibly the worst lie she had ever told, but it seemed to work anyway. He dashed the back of his hand across his eyes angrily, and sighed at Darcy and Clint's surprised faces. "Long story," he said simply.

Darcy sighed. "We'll leave you the tub of triple fudge chocolate," she offered.

He nodded his thanks, glanced awkwardly at Clint, and went back out the door. Happy was trying desperately to translate to the woman, who now held the infant again. Bruce was gone, and Tony was sitting in a chair, staring blankly at the wall. Squaring his shoulders, Loki approached the woman and calmly explained that there was nothing they could do, that the infant probably wouldn't last more than a few more hours, and that she should take her home to be with her mother.

To his surprise, the woman was grateful. She thanked him and the others for trying, she had known it was a long shot. She was sorry for intruding on them. With a sad smile, she bundled up the child and left with Happy.

A long silent moment passed with only Tony and Loki in the room. At last Tony grabbed an orange from a nearby fruit bowl and chucked it across the room. It hit the side of the bar harmlessly, and rolled away, a little lopsided.

Loki sighed and sank into the chair opposite Tony. "You asked me, when we came here, what it felt like to be a god. This is what it feels like. You have all this power and influence, and you think it means something, until you realize that you're still powerless when it really matters," he said bitterly.

Tony shook his head. "No. I _can _do something. I'm going to build a proper medical center, here on this island, and staff it," he said stubbornly.

"It's too late," Loki argued.

"For her, yes." Tony stared out the window, in the direction Happy and the woman had gone. "But not for others." The tiniest glimmer of hope shone through his expression.

Loki stared at him, at a loss. He forgot, sometimes, the largest difference between himself and Tony. Underneath all the crude jokes and arrogance, Tony was a very _good _person. He stood, sighing, picked up the bottle of Absinthe, and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked.

_To think without your blasted altruism in the way,_ he thought. But instead he smiled and said, "To break Pepper's rules."

* * *

_**A/N: **__Aaaand we start heading towards the more serious, dark issues this story covers. That's ok, I was getting tired of the fluffy happiness. Although there will be some mushy romantic bits on Saturday, but we are headed in that general direction._

_Hope you guys enjoyed it, this chapter was one of those concepts that I had right at the beginning of writing the story. It's always satisfying to present one of the original gems to you guys. "Pepper's Rules" are the general rules for avoiding alcoholism, in case you were wondering._

_Next on Saturday, Chapter 54: Stars_


	54. Stars

_The song for this chapter is "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Normally I consider this to be Jane's theme song, (and it just about makes me cry, thinking of her staring up at the sky and wondering what happened) but it also inspired this chapter._

* * *

**Chapter 54: Stars**

Natasha looked up from her book as Loki came through the front door. "Hey," she called in greeting. "What have you been up to all day?"

"Thinking. Wandering."

She frowned a little at his slightly-disheveled appearance. "Drinking?" she asked teasingly.

"Maybe," he half-admitted. He glanced at the clock. It was late, but... "Are you tired?" he asked.

She put down her book, curiosity written on her face. "Not really, why?"

He smiled mysteriously. "There's something I'd like to show you. It's a bit of a hike, though."

She shrugged, standing. "I'm game."

Once they were out the door, Loki held out a hand to her and she took it, smiling. He led her up one of the lit paths, following it for a while before turning onto a barely-visible trail. They wandered through the dense jungle in the dark for some time, and a suspicious voice began to nag at the back of Natasha's mind. She snorted.

"What?" he asked, turning back.

"Oh, I was just thinking that it would take them a long time to find my body," she joked.

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Training is hard to ignore," she apologized.

He looked sad for a moment. "I know."

They continued onward, and after a few more minutes, the trees dropped away to reveal a rocky outcropping. But what Natasha saw first were the stars. "Wow," she breathed, wandering out into the clearing. The sky seemed to stretch on forever, the millions of tiny lights winking like so many diamonds on blue-black velvet. They tumbled over each other in every direction, until they fell into the sea, where they were dimly reflected. "We must be at the top of the island?"

He nodded in the darkness. "It makes me think of Asgard," he admitted. "I thought you would like to see it."

Natasha glanced around the open ground, and spotted a few blankets and pillows laid out. She raised an eyebrow at Loki. "I never would have pegged you for a romantic."

He grinned, and sat down on the blankets. "There was a time when I sought to master such skills," he confided. "It was a long time ago, and things were much simpler. In Asgard, everything is so idyllic, and the girls think of little beyond what dress to wear and who to take it off for."

She laughed at that, and sat beside him. She studied his face as he watched the stars. "Did you love her?" she asked suddenly.

He looked at her, surprised.

"Angerboda," she clarified.

He chuckled, looking down at his hands. "Desperately," he confessed. "Now there was a challenge, as romance went."

"Oh?"

He smiled self-depreciatingly. "I had grown used to using magic to charm ladies, but she far outstripped me in such things. Much of what I know of illusions I learned from her." He gazed up into the sky again. "Yes I loved her. And I think she loved me too."

Natasha frowned. "But your sons..."

"Oh, I was a means to an end, that much she made clear from the beginning. I knew about them, actually, contrary to popular belief. They weren't our children in the traditional sense, not like Hela. But we made them together. Sometimes I wonder... If I had known... what I am... How would things have gone differently? We might have been truly happy." He was suddenly struck with the notion of what it might be like to take a woman in his true form. He doubted he would ever know, now.

"I was married, once," Natasha said quietly.

Loki looked at her with open surprise.

She laughed. "If you've been married twice, why is it such a surprise that I have? Where did you think I got the name Black Widow?"

He raised an eyebrow. "From your modus operandi?"

She smiled wryly. "That came later." She looked up at the stars. "His name was Alexei."

"Did you love him?" he would never have dared to ask if she hadn't done so already.

"Unquestioningly," she said darkly.

"What happened?" there was so much about her that he didn't know, so much he wanted to understand.

She sighed. "At the time, the Soviet Union was dabbling in eugenics. It made sense to put two of their best agents together and see what might come of it. They didn't count on us falling in love."

Loki frowned. "Were there children?"

"One. A girl. Rose. I've never loved anything the way I loved her," she breathed.

Loki ran a hand through his hair. "Daughters will do that to you." He waited patiently for her to finish the story.

Natasha swallowed, the emotions still thick after all these years. "They died." She heard Loki's soft indrawn breath, and pressed on before he could pity her. "At least, I thought they did. I tried to shut out my grief. I returned to the Red Room and volunteered for the serum. I thought I had nothing left to lose." She shook her head. "Turns out, that was exactly what they wanted. It was all a ploy to get me to volunteer, to break me, emotionally. Alexei-" her breath caught in her throat, and she frowned, angry. "He volunteered, too. He's still alive for all I know. I hope not. I hope I never see him again," her low whisper dripped with bitterness.

"And Rose?" he asked, though he feared the answer.

She picked at the edge of the blanket. "No. She really did die."

Loki closed his eyes against the pain in her face. "Have you ever wished for another?"

She laughed humorlessly, and laid back, resting her head on the pillow. "Not an option, I'm afraid. It's the serum. Can't get drunk, sick, or pregnant. The body... rejects it, like a parasite." she sighed heavily. "I'd be a terrible mother, anyway."

Loki looked down at her, at the complicated mess of pain and emotion that she had revealed to him. He thought about what Tony had said, about love making you a better person, and how Clint had said that he didn't deserve her. Maybe he was right, but maybe she deserved someone like him, someone who had messed up enough to know what it was like to be haunted by your mistakes. It was a strange thought that he rolled around in his mind. He knew he wasn't good enough for her, but perhaps he was just wrong enough for her, for it to work.

He leaned on his elbow beside her, touching her face. It was dry, she was too strong for tears. "Have you ever been with someone, under the stars?" he asked softly.

She gave him a sarcastic look. "If you're asking if I've ever had sex outdoors, yes. But..." she thought back on hurried back-alley exchanges and parked cars. "I don't really know if you could describe it like that."

He smiled. "If it's done right, you feel like you're out among them, part of them. Like you could lose who you are."

She looked up at the glittering sky, thinking, and then reached up to touch his face. "Show me?"

Loki kissed her hand softly. "Gladly."

* * *

_**A/N: **__I am inordinately fond of this chapter. I wrote it ages ago, when I first heard the song "Stars," and I've been dying to post it sense then. I really hope you all like it, I know it's a lot mushier than what I usually write for BlackFrost, but I think they deserve a little romance now and then, you know?_

_Reviews are the bread and butter of my Muse. My buffer continues to wane, but I just got a keyboard for my iPad for my birthday yesterday, so hopefully that and all of your wonderful encouragement will help me build it back up!_

_Tune in on Wednesday for Chapter 55: Another Point of View!_


	55. Another Point of View

_This chapter's song is "The High Road" by Three Days Grace, which I more apply to Loki and Natasha, but the mood of it suits the chapter anyway._

* * *

**Chapter 55**

_"If it's done right, you feel like you're out among them, part of them. Like you could lose who you are," he murmured._

_There was a long pause, as if she was thinking about what he said. Then she reached up to touch his face, and whispered "Show me?"_

_He kissed her hand. "Gladly."_

Clint turned his back on the scene as Loki bent down to kiss her, unable to stand another moment. He knew where this was going, and he didn't want to think about it, much less watch it. He made his way carefully through the undergrowth, not making a sound, until he came to the path he had trailed them up not fifteen minutes before.

He felt like his head was on fire. He had tailed Loki for much of the afternoon. After the incident in the kitchen, he became seriously concerned. He had ventured out into the other room after he saw Loki pass one of the kitchen windows with a bottle in his hand, leaving Darcy to the distraction of a tin roof sundae. He had found a very upset and slightly drunk Tony, who would not explain what was going on.

Upon his return, Darcy had made some very interesting comments.

"Well," she had mused, licking her spoon. "I suppose it's possible that Dude Loki isn't as keen on Natasha hooking up with Femme Loki as Tony and I thought he would be..." she frowned a little.

Clint had stared at her a full minute, trying to process what she had just said. "You... and Tony... are somehow involved in Natasha and... and _Femme Loki_..."

He could tell that it had been a Herculean effort for Darcy not to laugh at him. "We kinda set them up," she admitted quietly, instead.

At this point he had sat. There was really no alternative. "Why?" he managed at last.

Darcy gave him a funny look. "Because we thought it would make them happy. All three of them. But I guess we were wrong. That's what we get for meddling..." she sighed and took another big bite of ice cream.

As soon as he could find a valid excuse to get away from Darcy (provided by a heaven-sent Jane who wanted to have some girl-talk with her), Clint had set out to trail Loki. He wasn't really sure why he was doing it. It was just something instinctual-if you don't understand what's going on, do some reconnaissance.

He had rationalized to himself that a drunk and angry Loki was a dangerous Loki-as if there were a sort of Loki that was not dangerous. If something happened to Natasha and he was not there to protect her, he would never forgive himself. Especially if it was Loki that happened.

So he followed him, carefully. Clint was very certain that Loki was not aware he was being tailed, mostly because he consumed the entire contents of the bottle he carried over the next four hours. Once it was empty, he chucked it away, and Clint found it. His concern raised to alarm when he saw that it was Absinthe. He knew Loki's physiognomy was different from a human's, but he also knew that a very small amount of Absinthe could make a human pretty much bat-shit crazy. Who knew what effect large quantities would have on Loki, especially since he was already fairly crazy to begin with?

After a while Clint began to grow frustrated-it seemed that the only harm Loki was interested in doing was stealing pillows and blankets and staring things to death. But at last, after the sun had gone down and the stars had come out-making Clint's task both easier and more difficult-Loki had set off toward the cabin he shared with Natasha. He had halfway expected an altercation to occur right there, but was not surprised when Loki asked her to come out with him. Loki wasn't stupid, and if he was going to fight with Natasha he'd be smart enough to take her far away from her friends first.

Once Natasha had joined him, though, following Loki became far more challenging. Clint had to be extremely careful, backing off until he constantly risked losing them. If Natasha detected Clint following them, he didn't like to think what the consequences would be. His worst fears seemed confirmed as Loki led her off the lit path, into the jungle, towards the clearing where he had left the bedding. He had almost, almost stopped them then, but was willing to give Natasha credit for being able to take care of herself for the few seconds it would take him to close the gap, once Loki attacked.

Except Loki hadn't attacked. They had talked. Shared things from their past-some things which Natasha had not even told _him._ Apparently they had already fought, and were now reconciling. The phrase _make up sex_ floated through his brain, and that was impetus enough to tear himself away from the scene and flee.

His mind was so full of these things that he nearly ran right into someone.

"Darcy! What are you doing out here?" he demanded, grabbing her by the shoulders so she didn't fall over.

Darcy frowned. "Well I was _trying _to follow you, but then I got _lost_," she complained.

"Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to go wandering in a jungle at night?" he chided.

Her frown deepened into a scowl. "Safe enough for you!" Before Clint could argue this point, she pressed on. "_And Natasha and Loki!_"

Clint froze. In all his effort not to be seen by them, he had neglected to consider that he might be seen by others.

"I was just heading back from Jane's cabin, when I saw them coming up the path, hand in hand. I was happy to see them getting along again. Imagine my surprise when I saw _you _skulking around after them," she said in an acid tone. "You know, stalking ex-girlfriends is not generally an attractive trait in guys." She folded her arms, her expression and posture demanding an explanation.

Clint would be damned if he was going to have this argument in the middle of the jungle. He pushed past her, making his way back towards the lit path. Darcy stomped after him, and he sighed. He knew he owed her an explanation.

"I wasn't following Natasha," he grumbled. "I was following Loki. You saw the scene he made earlier, I was worried he might... do something."

Darcy sighed too. "Like what?" she said sarcastically.

Clint held a branch aside for her, and saw the dim glow from the lit path ahead. "I don't know. Hurt her, I guess."

"And what did he _actually _do?"

"He drank an entire bottle of Absinthe," Clint said with a mild sense of triumph.

Darcy whistled low. "Isn't that a hallucinogen?"

Clint nodded. "In humans, anyway."

"So what did he do then?" She actually sounded mildly interested, her love of gossip overcoming her anger at him. Clint could see that if he actually had something of interest to report, he could easily distract her from the argument.

Unfortunately, he didn't. "Nothing," he growled, frustrated, and pressed on towards his cabin. "He sat around a lot. Thinking, I guess. Then he went and got Natasha, told her a bunch of romantic mushy stuff, and they made up." He knew he sounded like a sullen teenager, but he didn't care.

"So, aside from the excessive drinking, basically he did the right and responsible thing?" she said in an annoying I-told-you-so voice. She took his lack of answer as an agreement. "Clint, when are you going to realize that he's not a homicidal psychopath anymore, if he ever was?"

At this, he rounded on her, furious. "_If he ever was_?!" he hissed. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Within the first half an hour after his arrival, he had completely destroyed a secret SHIELD base, killed over four dozen agents, and in Fury's words made me and Eric his own personal flying monkey. He then proceeded to make _me _kill at least-" Here Clint stopped, his voice catching in his throat.

"Oh, now I get it," Darcy said without a trace of sarcasm. Her honest and open expression was enough to stop his rant in its tracks.

"Get what?" he frowned.

"You blame Loki for what he did because you still blame yourself for what _you _did. Either you're both guilty or you're both innocent. I thought you were holding yourself responsible so you could hold him responsible, but now I see it's the other way around," she mused, nodding to herself as if to confirm her suspicions.

Clint took a long moment to sift through what she had just said. "No," he said, but the anger had gone out of it. "It's not like that."

She sighed. "Then please explain it to me because I am _way _confused."

He started walking again, to help him think. She seemed to sense that he was not avoiding the answer, and followed him patiently. They made it all the way back to his cabin before he found the words.

"I don't know how much of this I can tell you," he admitted as he sat on the couch.

"Secret spy stuff?" she asked, sitting next to him.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Not really..."

"Bro code?" Darcy offered.

He laughed. "In a weird, twisted way, yes."

She chewed her lip a little. "Is this about Loki being possessed? Because I already know about that."

Clint experienced that odd sinking feeling-the one he associated with reaching for the next trapeze only to find it just wasn't there. "What?" he managed to say.

"I mean, I don't know how _you _know," she evaded.

"Loki told me," he said quickly, wanting to get to her explanation.

"Seriously?" Darcy was flabbergasted.

"Yes. He knew it was the only way I would work with him. We agreed that I wouldn't tell anyone because..."

"Because, he, like you, wants to be held responsible for what he did. What a bunch of masochists you are," she rolled her eyes.

He just stared at her, refusing to be distracted despite her innate ability to do so.

"All right. Thor figured it out. They've been brothers for like, a bajillion years, right? You don't think he'd notice that, in addition to going totally wacky, his eyes had turned a different color? I mean, they're one of his best features and all..."

Sensing a detour that would involve cataloging Loki's physical assets, Clint groaned. She just grinned. "Jealous, are we?" she teased. "I like that." She took a moment to collect her thoughts and continued. "He didn't know what it meant, though, until Eric happened to mention that the same thing had happened to him, when Loki did the funny thing with his staff. Thor asked him how he had managed to break the possession, and Erik told him he had hit his head really hard when Tony tried to attack the portal generator. A little research proved the same had happened to you, and Loki thanks to the Jolly Green Giant. He told Jane and me all this before he took us to meet Her the first time."

Clint blinked, again finding that with Darcy's rapid speech he needed a little time to figure out precisely what she had said. Something in there nagged at him, and his eyes narrowed when he put his finger on it. "Tasha is the only one who knew that," he murmured.

She looked a little sheepish, but then sighed. "Yes, Natasha knows. Did you really think she would be dating him if she didn't? But I think she's in the same philosophy camp as you and Loki."

He nodded, "She knows what it's like to do terrible things and then later wake up and realize how wrong they are. She's learned to let go of her responsibility for those things, but she won't pretend that it's easy."

She shifted, still uncomfortable with the undefined relationship between Clint and Natasha, the fondness in his voice when he spoke of her. "Ok, so you get all that. Why are you still so pissed?"

He glared at her, but she didn't recoil. "Because I need to be angry at somebody! He killed Phil, Darcy."

At this, Darcy rolled her eyes, but before he could lash out at her again, she held up a hand. "Have you ever considered that he did you all a favor by killing Phil?" she said it so matter-of-factly that he hardly knew what to say.

"Are you totally nuts?" he demanded.

"Hear me out. From the moment he arrives, Loki only does everything he can to piss you all off. The way Thor makes it sound, Loki could have easily sweet-talked his way out of that lab, swindled SHIELD out of the Tesseract and schmoozed his way into half a dozen allies before he declared open war on Earth, and that would have been more his speed. Instead he makes the biggest splash possible, and gets on everybody's radar. Then, instead of just going to ground, he decides to prance around Germany like some stuck-up supermodel."

Clint frowned, remembering Loki's words in the underground facility. They had just been discussing Clint's failure to kill Fury, his first real resistance against the possession of the Tesseract.

_"I want to know everything you can tell me about this team of his. I would... test their mettle. I grow weary of scuttling in shadows. I mean to rule this world, not burrow in it."_

_Clint nodded. "It's a risk."_

_Loki grinned. "Oh yes."_

At the time, Clint had thought that Loki was just massively overconfident and wanted to remove a minor annoyance before it grew into a genuine problem. Now... "You think he lost on purpose," he realized.

"Yup," Darcy grinned, glad he was catching on.

"Then why Phil? Why not just stay caught in the helicarrier? Why go through with the battle of New York, if he was just trying to get away from the Chitauri?"

"Because the Chitauri were still coming," Darcy said solemnly. "You guys couldn't get your shit together, and it wasn't a sure thing that you would beat them when they came. If you lost, his only hope for survival would be to make it look like he planned on beating you all along. So he had to do the one thing he knew would make you all hate him enough to try your damnedest to beat him. He broke one of the cardinal Evil Overlord rules in the hopes that your punishment would be better than whatever awaited him in the hands of the Chitauri. Thor said Loki had been missing for like a year. Who knows what they did to him."

"Oh, god," Clint said shakily. "So Phil was just... the sidekick who gets killed?"

Darcy laughed. "I think he would take that as a compliment," she proclaimed. "You forget that I knew him too. At first I thought he was kind of an asshole, you know, but then I just realized that he was one of those serious, hard-core motards about SHIELD. Except he wasn't a badass. He had no super powers, no special skills. He was just polite and efficient and dedicated. He's probably the kind of guy who had Nathan Hale's Last Words in cross-stitch hanging on his wall."

He gave her a confused look.

She laughed self-depreciatingly. "That's what I get for being a Political Science major. He was this spy, back in the revolutionary war. Not a very good one, though, 'cause he got caught. Before the redcoats hanged him, he said 'My only regret is that I have but one life to give for my country.' Phil was that kind of guy."

Clint swallowed hard. "Yeah, he was."

"So yeah, it's probably shitty of me to say that Loki gave him the opportunity to be what he wanted to be, but that's what I think." Darcy crossed her arms, wondering if this was the end of their relationship.

He breath hitched at her words, at the determined but fearful look on her face. "No. You should say what you think. It's obvious I don't have a clear line of sight on this, and I need someone to tell me when I'm shooting at shadows."

She stared at him for a full ten seconds. "I think that's the sexiest thing a guy has ever said to me," she proclaimed, and then pounced on him.

He laughed through her kisses, but quickly realized how serious she was when she grabbed his hand and shoved it up her shirt. Clint was no idiot, he knew when to shut up and put on the moves. He was just about to do that one thing that Natasha had actually complimented him on when the sound of a throat clearing came from the doorway.

Darcy and Clint froze like two teenagers when the basement light comes on. They turned to see Steve standing next to the door, his expression caught between disapproving father and embarrassed younger brother.

"Hi Cap," Darcy said with a remarkable lack of awkwardness as Clint removed his hand from her shirt and his knee from between her legs. "We were just... leaving." She stood, pulling a stunned Clint up from the couch. She dragged him out the door, grinning at Steve the whole time as if daring him to say something.

He remained tersely silent until the door closed, when he heard him mutter "Kids these days..."

It was all they could do to keep from laughing, and Darcy continued to pull him towards some unknown destination.

"Where are we going?" he asked, still half-laughing.

"My cabin," she gave him a coy smile over her shoulder.

He raised his eyebrows. "What about Jane?"

"Oh, she's probably busy riding the lightning," she joked.

Clint made a face. "You have a dirty mind, girl," he laughed.

She just gave him a sly look. "You're about to find out just how dirty," she promised as she pushed open the cabin door.

Clint just grinned and followed her in.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I have too much fun writing Darcy, I really do. This chapter was a bit of a toughy, though. I originally planned for them to have an actual fight, with shouting and everything, but they just wouldn't cooperate. Clint is a little thick-headed but Darcy can talk her way out of anything. _

_The scene Clint remembers is from the Avengers deleted scenes, for those who don't recognize it. I seriously recommend looking them up if you haven't seen them yet._

_Speaking of which, has everyone seen the new teaser trailer for Thor: The Dark World? Not gonna lie, I screamed like a little girl at the end. You can hop over to my deviantArt site (link in my bio) to see the fanart it inspired._

_Next on Saturday, Chapter 56: Mirror, Mirror (and if you've been paying attention this should clue you into what kind of chapter it is ^.~)_


	56. Mirror, Mirror

_The song for this chapter is "Insatiable" by Darren Hayes. Took me forever to find the right song. _

_This chapter earns the M rating, but it's kind of important. Use your best judgment._

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**Chapter 56: Mirror, Mirror**

Natasha and Loki walked slowly down the path, near enough to touch, their fingers loosely entwined. She had never been uncomfortable being physical with men where others might see, but somehow this small, innocent gesture made her unaccountably nervous. It wasn't the sort of thing she ever imagined herself doing, and she doubted Loki did either. But as they had walked, content in their reconciliation, their hands had brushed together and somehow stayed that way. Perhaps it was the genuine affection behind it that made it so novel to her. It was nice, she decided.

She was so distracted by her musings on hand-holding, her brain still slightly fuzzy from the softly passionate encounter at the island's peak, that she was genuinely surprised when Darcy and Clint burst out of one of the cabins far ahead of them and ran, giggling, to another. They didn't see her or Loki, or at least gave no sign that they saw them, but all the same Natasha jerked her hand back from Loki's automatically.

Loki looked from the disappearing couple, to Natasha's hand, to her expression, his first acknowledgement that anything had happened. She looked away, unaccountably regretting her action, but unwilling to show it. Slowly, cautiously, Loki slid his warm, elegant fingers back into hers, and this time she did not pull away, although she didn't look at him or change her forward momentum in any way. When she did finally glance at him, she spied the smallest tilt to the corner of his lips, as if he were pleased but also did not wish to show it.

She was oddly relieved when they reached their cabin. Natasha had yet to sort out precisely how she felt about Loki now—for somehow, over the last few days, something between them had changed drastically—and she really didn't want to handle anyone else's reaction right now either. With a sigh, she walked right into the bedroom, thinking that since she was so relaxed, she might as well go straight to bed. She was on vacation, after all, she could sleep if she wanted to.

As she entered the room, though, something triggered her instincts so that she thought someone else was in the room, just for a moment. She hit the light switch, but was confronted with nothing more threatening than her own reflection. She laughed, surprised. While the others had disappeared, the large mirror with a decorative frame remained hanging at the head of the bed.

Loki came to investigate her startled laugh. He poked his head in the door and looked at the mirror, less surprised. "The rest were illusions, but She actually crafted that one," he explained as he stepped into the room.

"Why?" Natasha asked. She understood enough about Loki's magic to know that crafting took far more energy than illusions, not that She had much else to do with her magic at the moment.

His lips twitched with a repressed smile. "I believe she intended it as a sort of apology or peace offering... to me." He caught her gaze in the reflection, and a ghost of his old devious smile appeared. "I approve." He walked to stand beside the head of the bed, trailing his finger along the ornate scrollwork of the frame.

"You'll have to write her a thank you note," Natasha half-teased.

Loki made a sound of absent agreement, obviously preoccupied. When his eyes met hers again in the mirror, she spied a fire burning in their emerald depths. He turned, regarding the real Natasha instead of her reflection, and swallowed. "Natasha, I... would like to play a game with you, if you consent."

His hesitation, the seriousness of his tone, and his use of the word 'consent' made it immediately clear what sort of game he meant. She had expected this, at some point, hadn't she just joked about it with Tony and Darcy the other day? Still, she could not suppress the fight-or-flight response the idea immediately produced in her. Loki waited, watching her patiently, and she saw that if she did not accept, he would not push her. She also saw that it had taken courage for him to ask, and her refusal would wound him, much as when she pulled her hand away when she saw Darcy and Clint. But she would not accept just to spare his feelings.

Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she asked: "How much will it hurt?"

Loki laughed as though releasing a held breath. He shook his head and came to stand before her, brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers. "This game is not about pain. It will not hurt at all. At least," he looked away towards the mirror, slyly amused, "not unless you break the rules. Judging by your work last night, I think you will like it."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Alright. You've piqued my curiosity at least," she agreed.

He chuckled darkly and tilted her chin up to kiss her gratefully. "Don't you know what they say about curiosity?" he murmured against her lips.

She shivered, and wondered why he was now trying to talk her out of it. "Well, the good news is I'm not a cat. What am I supposed to do?" she managed to make her voice sound far more confident than she felt.

He pulled back, grinning. "So eager! I like it." He rubbed his hands together, sizing up the mirror. "Take off all of your clothes and kneel on the bed in front of the mirror," he instructed without looking at her.

Natasha sensed in the casual tone of his voice that this was not a new game for him, and absently wondered who else he had played it with, and how her performance would measure up against them. Never before had she felt the slightest twinge of jealousy for any man, but now, in this, she wanted more than ever to do well. It reminded her, with a sickening lurch, of her desire to please her instructors at the Red Room as a child.

When she hesitated too long, he gave her a look that said "Well?" She had consented, and his attitude had shifted from conciliatory to demanding accordingly.

She realized it wouldn't work if he tried to be patient and accommodating anyway. She took a breath, and with the same surge of bravery that she used to throw herself into gunfire, she began to strip. She used no art, made no show of it, simply removing her clothes as quickly and efficiently as possible. That done, she eased on to the bed and knelt facing the mirror.

"Closer," he instructed, and with an impersonal, light touch on her shoulder, indicated that she should move towards the mirror. Once she was an arm's length away from it, he stopped her with another light touch. She recalled the same instructing touches from her long-ago dance master, and forced herself to remember that _he _was dead, finding comfort in the memory of specifically how she had killed him.

"Now up, like this," he moved her so she was not sitting on her heels, struggling to keep his voice impersonal. Already she trembled, and nearly flinched away from his touch. He felt a moment's guilt, he knew what horrors had made her so responsive to him, but he could not help but enjoy it. "Now, put your hands on the glass in front of you," he instructed.

Natasha stretched out her fingers and pressed them against the cool surface. "Like this?" she asked, and was ashamed to hear her voice waver.

"Yes, very good," he said kindly, and ran his hand down her back softly. Her eyes fluttered closed with a sigh, and he felt his stomach tighten in response. She was already better than he had imagined. "Now don't move. Your fingerprints will tell me if you've moved while I'm gone," he warned. And then he walked away.

Natasha watched his reflection, allowing only her eyes to move, for as long as she could before he disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. Then she stared at her hands, waiting. This was the game? She was momentarily relieved, but then began to feel irritated. This was stupid.

After what seemed like an eternity (but had actually only been about five minutes) Loki returned, wearing only his slacks. He took one look at her expression and grinned. "Patience, darling." He stopped where she could not see him, and could only hear the zip and rustle as he let the last of his clothing drop to the floor. The next she saw of him was his lithe, naked body gracefully moving on to the bed behind her, almost as if he were mounting a very large horse.

He ghosted his fingertips over her hips, and then looked her reflection in the eye. "Remember now," he cautioned with a playful smile. "Don't move your hands."

Natasha realized, irritated, that she hadn't needed to remain stock-still. But her irritation was quickly soothed as Loki's talented hands began to move over her body. She watched as his eyes followed their meandering path, saw the intensity in them, felt the heat of his palms and heard his breath quicken. _Damn, but he likes to watch_, she thought with a smirk, remembering his failed attempt at voyeurism, and his words when she finally let him in:

_I like to watch you, Natasha. I want to watch you watching me fuck you._

If this was what he had in mind, she didn't blame him. Gaining confidence, she began to test the boundaries of her freedom, squirming against him and moaning as his hands found her most sensitive spots. But this only served to excite him more, and she felt the hard length of him pressed against her. Her curiosity, still the main motivating force behind her participation in this game, had not been slaked.

She stared again at her hands, trying to think through the haze of passion that Loki was eliciting in her as he began to lick and nibble at the crook of her shoulder and the back of her neck. His hands were hot on her skin, one filled with her breast and the other preoccupied rather lower. He had specified that she could not move her hands, that he would know from the smears on the glass if she did. But he had not said what he would do if she broke this one rule, beyond implying that it would hurt.

She didn't want to get hurt, but even more than that, she didn't want to spoil Loki's game. He did seem to be enjoying it, as soft moans began to accompany they subtle thrusts of his hips against her. Suddenly she recalled his words the one and only time they had discussed his predilections to any extent:

_The best submissive are the ones who fight back. It makes the dominant angry, you see, and goads them to new heights..._

So, she managed to reason, perhaps breaking the rules wasn't really... breaking the rules. Loki had slipped a finger inside of her, and it was getting harder to think. She had to decide now whether she would push this button. Should she risk upsetting him, or remain obedient? Curiosity, or caution?

_Oh fuck this,_ she thought as his other hand joined the first. _I am a spy. When have I ever prized caution over curiosity? _She was passion-drunk, and it gave her just enough courage to move one thumb half an inch, the sweat from her skin smearing the mirror as it went.

Loki glanced up, immediately aware of her transgression. His expression was almost frightening, a flicker of dark glee she had seen in full force on the security tapes from Stuttgart as the well-dressed crowds began to flee in terror. He continued to move his fingers inside her with one hand so bewitchingly that she hardly noticed the absence of the other.

That is, until the loud _smack _and the sting of the skin on her left thigh and adjoining cheek told her where it had gone. She flinched badly, but mostly out of surprise. He hadn't hit her hard, only enough to leave a trace of red that she could see curving around her hip where his fingers had landed. Her eyes, wide, met his in the mirror, and he seemed to stare into her as he whispered against her ear, "See what happens when you break the rules?"

His hot breath fanned against her neck, and she shuddered at the sensation and his words, which somehow promised a whole world of kinky interludes. All at once, she understood that she had a remarkable degree of control over the situation. Loki was not asking her to do something impossible, or even difficult. In fact it was completely arbitrary, so the only way he would spank her again, was if she intentionally flaunted those rules, if she literally _asked _for it.

It was a hell of a rush.

Natasha pressed her hips against him urgently. "Loki, please," she begged.

He just grinned and moved against her, sliding his body against hers sinuously. "You want this?" he asked, and she felt him twitch against him.

"Yes. Please," she added, doing her best to play along.

He chuckled. "You must promise not to move again," he said patronizingly.

She nodded, but he only raised an eyebrow. "I promise," she said, and gasped as he entered her almost before she had finished speaking.

But after the first thrust, he moved slowly, achingly so, sliding almost all the way out and the pausing for a beat before pressing in again, inch by inch, stopping once more when he was fully sheathed. She groaned in frustration, making Loki smirk.

"You like this?" he teased.

She glared at his reflection. "No."

He shrugged. "Too bad."

Natasha tried to move against him herself, but once more he held her hips in place, although not so firmly as to bruise this time. Almost without thinking, she took her hand away from the mirror completely and tried to pry herself loose.

In a flash, Loki had grabbed the offending hand, slammed it back against the mirror, and then started thrusting into her so hard her body was soon pressed against the glass as well. His other hand wound in her hair, turning her head and tilting it back. "_This_," he emphasized with a thrust, "_this _is what you want?" he demanded.

"Yes," she breathed, and when he tugged on her hair she said it louder, until she was shouting it each time he pressed into her, seeming to go deeper every time. Natasha was caught between the proverbial rock and hard place, the cool mirror raising goose bumps on her stomach and hardening her already taut nipples, and Loki's hot body pressing her in place.

It was not long before she reached her climax, but Loki did not stop, pushing her higher, harder, until she thought she or the mirror would shatter. At last he froze, pressed so tightly against her she could not draw breath into her lungs, and then he relaxed, collapsing against her and gasping for air as much as she did.

He let go of her hair, and put his hand over hers, the one which had not moved, even at the end. "Thank you," he breathed, pulling away, "for your cooperation."

It took a moment for his quip to penetrate the fog and fireworks that composed her brain at that moment. When it did, she laughed, not a cynical chuckle or a half-suppressed snort, but a real laugh. Loki smiled at the sound, and pulled her into his arms and down onto the bed.

Natasha felt as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She realized, at that moment, that she and Loki were going to be all right after all.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Man, I have been wanting to write this since I first mentioned the mirrors way back in chapter 36 lol. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did... and the other stuff I have in store for the future._

_I'm getting to the end of the school year, and I'm crazy busy with a wedding in the family, but I'm doing my best to keep the buffer up so I can post on time every week. It's a little tricky now because I can't write some of these chapters at work, you know? Your reviews go a long way towards helping. It makes me so happy to think that people out there enjoy my silly little story. Well, not so little anymore I suppose!_

_Next Wednesday, things take a hard left in Chapter 57: The Darkness Within._


	57. The Darkness Within

_Just as a warning, the beginning of this chapter is pretty graphic. Skip to the first line break if you like. A while ago rainbow hatgirl asked how dark this story was going to get. The answer is in this chapter._

_The theme song, therefore, is "Monster" by Skillet._

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**Chapter 57: The Darkness Within**

Loki traced the trail of blood up her skin with his tongue, and grinned at the shudder his actions produced in her. She was so lovely, even more so like this, stripped naked and vulnerable before him, dressed only in rivulets of her own blood. So much blood. It pooled on the floor and mixed with the shredded tatters of her clothes.

"Do you like that?" he whispered, trailing the very tip of his knife blade lightly across her skin, coming to a stop at her rosy, perfect nipple. He flicked it, drawing a drop of blood there, and she arched her back, pulling against her bonds and moaning hoarsely. The screaming had taken its toll on her voice. "You do, don't you?" he teased.

The Black Widow glared at him silently, her tired pale green eyes still suffused with the energy of her hatred. She was not broken... yet. He stood up, tapping a fingertip against his blood-stained lips in a pensive gesture. "I propose we put this away..." he set the knife on the metal tray, enjoying the rattle of the other instruments and the way it made her flinch. "...For now, anyway. Let's play another game," he suggested lightheartedly.

She licked her chapped lips, and for a moment he wished he had taken the time to learn the healing magics. Already her frail, mortal body began to fade, and he could have used those skills now to extend his enjoyment. Her expression showed the slightest hint of fear—a tightening around the eyes. What would he do now?

Loki stepped closer until their faces were inches away. Her breathing was unsteady—the only outward sign of the intense pain she must be experiencing—but she held his gaze resolutely. Glancing down, he trailed the fingers of one hand up the side of her ribs, raising goose bumps where it passed, smearing the lines of red. He ghosted his thumb against the swell of her breast, but then slid his hand behind her, between her unmarred skin and the cold metal surface she was bound to. He pressed himself against her and the moment before she realized what he meant to do, he kissed her.

It was not a harsh, demanding kiss as she might have expected, and he sensed her surprise when she did not retaliate. His lips brushed softly against hers, warm and gentle. His tongue darted out, but only teasingly. This seemed to snap her out of it, and she returned the kiss vigorously, surprising _him_. He pressed his body against hers more firmly, and she arched up to meet it. A low, feral growl came from deep in his throat, as he was simultaneously aroused and frustrated. He had not expected her to be _that _good.

But then Natasha took the upper hand, pulling his bottom lip into her mouth and biting, hard. Much too hard for loveplay, and Loki jerked back, a hand to his mouth. It came away stained with his own blood, although the wound had already healed. Glaring at her, he slapped her across the face, the sound ringing through the dark, sterile room.

Her head hung limp a moment, the red curls obscuring her face, and briefly he worried he had hit her too hard, and would have to wait for her to regain consciousness. But she looked up, the hatred in her eyes mixed with a small degree of triumph.

"You don't want to play this game?" he asked, his voice remaining calm despite the anger in his face.

Natasha looked for a moment as if she would spit at him, but then judged that she didn't feel up to the consequences. "No," she said at last.

He shrugged, as though it meant little to him, and reached toward the tray of instruments.

"Wait," she said quickly.

His hand paused, hovering over a particularly nasty device. He had to work hard to hide his smile-she was so easy to play, sometimes. Instead he looked at her questioningly.

It seemed to take her a long time to find the right words, and he was unsure if her pride or the pain made it more difficult. "We can... play the other game," she whispered miserably.

"Oh?" Loki's hand left the tray to trail a line between her breasts, dipping into her navel and then lower, before pausing. "I thought you didn't want to," he mocked.

She swallowed thickly. "No, I... I do..."

He tutted. "Not terribly convincing, Natasha. Barton said you could make any man believe you wanted him... not that I am like any other man."

For one, brief moment, she looked as though she would cry. Then it was as if a mask slid over her expression, and she became someone else. She smiled coyly. "No, you aren't like any other man, are you?" she said sweetly, although the rough note in her voice and a slight tremble of her lips slightly marred the performance. "You can do _anything_ you want..." she drew out the word "anything" like a promise.

The corner of his lips twitched upwards, and as he closed the gap between them, his clothes disappeared. "Anything is quite a lot," he mused, relishing the feel of her blood-smeared skin against his. He looked her in the eye, saw the fear there, and loved it. "Where should I begin?'

* * *

Loki sat up in bed, gasping for air. For a moment he did not recognize his surroundings, the darkness obscuring them.

"Loki, what's wrong?"

He turned with a jerking motion to see Natasha, unabashedly naked in his bed. Memory rushed back to him in a flood of images. She reached out to him, and he flinched away violently, scrambling out of the bed, pulling the sheet with him and covering himself. He stood facing away from her, unable to look at her, afraid she would see the evidence of his body's own betrayal. For one moment, he thought he might be sick, feeling the same nausea that had preceded his counterpart's illness, his only experience with the concept. But the contents of his stomach stayed where they ought to be, although he kept a hand locked over his mouth to be sure. Eventually his body quieted as well.

"You had a nightmare," Natasha said in a low, soothing voice. She held very still, in a non-threatening pose. It was not quite a question.

He nodded anyway, squeezing his eyes shut.

"It's over now," she went on in her soft tones, "you're safe. It can't hurt you, do you understand that?"

It was her misunderstanding of the situation that jarred him out of his paroxysm of fear. He turned, took one step toward the bed, another, and then collapsed onto it. She approached him slowly, brushing his hair out of his face and putting a hand to his back.

"I find sometimes that retelling my nightmares out loud helps put them behind me," she urged softly. "So often the things that terrorize us in our sleep seem less threatening while awake."

He shook his head. "You don't understand," he moaned softly. "I dreamt that I... that I..." he could not say it.

Natasha sighed heavily—she did understand. "_You _were the most frightening thing in your nightmare. It was not what was done to you but what you did that made it a nightmare," she guessed, and the tone of her voice told that she, too, had such dreams.

He turned to look at her, fear and shame in his eyes. "It was what I did to _you_."

The only sign of her surprise was that she froze, unblinking, for half a moment. "Loki, we can't control what we dream, it's not your fault—" she began.

Loki turned away again. How could he tell her, how could he explain that he _had _created this dream, had fashioned it with great attention to detail, not only to torture Barton but for his own enjoyment? He couldn't. "When I... When _She _first came back," he corrected, "you asked if I would have done the things I threatened. She told you that if Barton had died..." here he trailed off.

To his enormous dismay, Loki saw an echo of the same fear in her eyes that he had relished in his dream. "The contingency plan?" she breathed.

He buried his face in his hands. "_That _is what I dreamed," he said miserably.

Natasha was silent for a very long time. When he could no longer bear not knowing what she was thinking, he lowered his hands and watched her. She was staring out the sliding glass doors to the balcony, and in the dim moonlight he could see her jaw was clenched. "You've changed, Loki," she said softly, and the declaration was not as confident as she would have liked. She turned her gaze on him, as if she could see the changes before her. "You wouldn't do those things now-"

"Of course not!" he interrupted in a hasty whisper. He grabbed her hands—he couldn't lose her now, not when he had just begun to... he paused. He had almost thought _love her_, and was perplexed.

"I know, Loki." She smiled sadly, "Otherwise it wouldn't be a nightmare, would it?" she asked, guessing accurately that it had not always been so.

Slowly, as if he wasn't sure he should, Loki pulled her into his arms, pressing her against his chest tightly. He held her that way for a long time, waiting to relax, for the terror of the nightmare to pass. But it didn't. Every time he looked at her, he was reminded of the fear in her eyes, the blood on her skin, the screams...

"Maybe you should call Dr. Bryardie," she suggested quietly.

Again, the unexpected comment lessened some of his anxiety. "What?" he looked down at her.

"She's really good at interpreting dreams," she explained. "Sometimes when I get one I can't shake, I go talk to her."

He frowned, confused. "I thought you didn't... You always laugh at Tony's quack jokes."

She shrugged, sighing. "When Clint and I were first assigned to the Avengers Initiative, she did assessments on us both. She diagnosed me, accurately, I suppose, with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was hardly the first time I'd heard it, even by that name. I'd been having flashbacks and nightmares when she was still in diapers. It can be... difficult, especially at night, but it also keeps me sharp. Constant vigilance is an edge I can't afford to lose."

He felt himself relaxing as she spoke. "What did she say, when you refused treatment?"

"She smiled, actually. Not one of those fake doctor smiles that means she's going to try to convince you, but a real smile, sad and accepting. She said that no one is really sane, everyone has their own neuroses, and all that really matters is functionality. If my PTSD was contributing to my functionality, if I was 'sublimating' the symptoms, it didn't make much sense to try to make it go away. Plus," she smiled, "She said that no one could change me except myself. No sense trying to 'fix' me if I didn't want 'fixing.'" She chuckled, remembering.

"I laugh at Tony's jokes because I'm supposed to stay friends with him. Someday, I may have to convince him to stay on the team," she admitted quietly.

Loki scowled, catching on. "_Really?_"

She raised an eyebrow. "I got him on the team, didn't I? It's my job." At his continued scowl, she laughed. "I thought you said you liked to watch me work," she teased.

He smiled a little, the tightness in his chest easing. "On some poor idiot, yes. Tony is..."

"Tony is Tony. And it won't come to that, he won't leave. His conscience won't let him," she reassured him.

"What, you mean Pepper?" Loki joked.

She laughed a little, and put a hand against his chest, feeling his even heartbeat. "Feeling better?" she asked.

He nodded, and kissed her. "Maybe one day I'll return the favor," he offered, and moved to get out of bed, releasing her. "I think I will call Rowena, though. I don't need to sleep, so don't wait up." He pulled on his pants, and quietly closed the door behind him.

Natasha laid back down, but knew she would not sleep either.

"Rowena Bryardie," the voice came over the phone, somewhat distorted by the relay of satellites it passed through.

"Rowena? It's Loki. Sorry about the time," he glanced at the clock, it was not quite three in the morning.

"Actually, it's fine. I'm still in my office, just doing some insurance paperwork. It must be the middle of the night there. Are you all right?" He could hear the shuffling of paper as she cleared her work away to give him her full attention.

"I..." Loki now felt silly admitting it, especially to a woman. "I had a nightmare."

"Just now?" she asked.

"Yes. Natasha managed to calm me down. It was her idea that I call you."

"I assume, since you called, that you do want to talk about it?"

He sighed and sat on the couch, running a hand through his hair. "It was... of a sexual nature," he warned.

"Loki," here, he could hear the understanding smile in her voice, "In addition to my work as a therapist, I have personal experience in the subject of non-conventional sexuality, as you deduced yourself. You will neither shock nor embarrass me. If you are comfortable speaking about it, then so am I. You don't need to share the details if you don't want to, though."

Loki closed his eyes and described the dream in perfect detail, as well as its origins. It felt like a confession, and when she responded without judgment, it felt like absolution.

"Well I can't offer much in the way of interpretation," she lamented, "Since the dream was the product of your conscious, and not your unconscious mind. What happened in the twenty-four hours leading up to the dream?" she asked casually. "Often there is a trigger."

He sighed. "I drank an entire bottle of absinthe," he admitted.

"How long before bed?" She sounded amused rather than concerned.

"Five, maybe six hours," he guessed.

"Well alcohol, or hallucinogens in this case, will certainly release inhibitions, but I don't think that would be enough. Why were you drinking?"

Loki found he was less irritated by the reason than he expected to be. "My counterpart has... become physically involved with Natasha."

This time there was a pause on the line. "Sounds complicated. How did you react?"

He told her about their conversation, about what Natasha had revealed of herself. He went on to tell of his choice to go drink, finding Tony, and the incident with the local woman and her dying granddaughter. By this time he was on a roll, and explained how he and Natasha had spoken again beneath the stars, had made love there—he used the phrase unthinking, and not wishing to draw attention to it, went on without pausing—and then returned to the cabin. He described the game they had played, and how much it had pleased him that she enjoyed it.

"Sounds like a busy day," she said when he was done.

He sighed in agreement.

"Well, you may be surprised, but I think the nightmare is probably a good sign," she offered.

He frowned. "How?"

"Well, like Natasha said, the fact that you see it as a nightmare indicates that you have changed. In addition, you have made yourself vulnerable to her in a number of ways now. Your Anima has opened up to her, and you have let her see the darker side of your passions, too," she reasoned.

"I think this means that you are on the right path, Loki. Your mind can only process what has happened to you once you feel secure and safe enough to do so. It's a step in the right direction. Sometimes healing is painful," she said sympathetically.

"Healing... from what?" he asked, bemused.

She sighed. "Loki, the Chitauri used you. You were tricked into consenting, you said so yourself. It wasn't as obvious a trick as the one you use on Natasha in the dream, nor was the violation. But sometimes abuse of the mind can hurt far worse than that of the body."

Loki sat still a moment, thinking, remembering. "What should I do then?" he asked.

The understanding smile returned to her voice. "That's up to you. What would you have done if you hadn't had the nightmare?"

"I was planning on... on exploring things, with Natasha. Testing her limits, carefully. Find out what games she likes, where the boundaries are. But now..."

"I think that's an excellent idea," she interrupted. "You're obviously motivated to keep her happy, but also thinking of your own happiness. All relationships are based on compromise, and it's good that you're looking for the right balance."

"Will I have the dream again?" he asked after a moment.

"I don't know. It's possible. But I don't think it will be as upsetting, if you do. The shock of it was likely the worst part. Next time you will be prepared for it." She sounded so confident in him.

He sighed, and this time it was in relief. "Thank you, Dr. Bryardie. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Well, good," she said cheerfully. "Come by and see me when you get back, if you feel like it," she suggested, and then hung up.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling unaccountably tired. Maybe he would go back to bed. He shuffled into the bedroom, slipped off his pants, and climbed into bed. He draped an arm over Natasha, who was still awake and didn't bother to pretend otherwise.

"Good talk?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he said simply, and quickly drifted off to sleep.

Natasha was sure, as she had been when he had left, that she would not sleep. But now, with Loki's arm around her, and his solid warmth against her back, she began to relax. She smiled at the irony, at how his mere presence soothed her from her fears of what he had once been. Best not to question it too closely, she supposed, so she snuggled closer to him and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_**A/N: **__So, there you go. That's as dark as it gets, although this will not be the only time it gets that dark, by a long shot. I've gotten some negative feedback about this part, so I would really appreciate input from any of you wonderful people. Did I make it too dark?_

_Anyway, if I haven't completely scared you all off, please drop by on Saturday for Chapter 58: Bad News._


	58. Bad News

_No song for this chapter. Lately, I've been feeling a little weirded out about this story, it's like something from "Stranger than Fiction." I sat down to write this chapter (which I had long planned) just after the Boston Marathon. The coincidence was unsettling. Then I go to Iron Man 3, and no spoilers, but several of the salient plot points are in the upcoming chapters of this fanfiction, which I had already written. Less unsettling, but just convinces me once more that I should really be working for Marvel._

* * *

**Chapter 58: Bad News**

The next morning, there was a knock on Loki and Natasha's door. "Hey, are ya naked?" Darcy's voice called through the door.

"Yes," Loki shouted back, a grin on his face before he shifted forms.

Natasha laughed, and Femme Loki smiled a little in response, clueless but glad to see her happy. "No, Darcy, we're decent," Natasha called, walking over to open the door.

"Sorry to barge in," Darcy said, remaining in the doorway. "Fury called, he wants everybody up at the clubhouse ASAP for some kind of meeting. Oh and pack your stuff, sounds like we're heading out," she explained.

Natasha frowned. "We weren't scheduled to go back until tomorrow."

"Yeah," Darcy shrugged. "Change in plans, I guess. Well, I gotta go get like, three other people, so bye!" she waved a little, and ran off in a hurry.

Natasha and Loki looked at each other, concern and suspicion written clear on their faces. Loki waved a hand behind her, and all of their stuff was packed. "Let's go," she said solemnly.

* * *

Once everybody made it up to the clubhouse, Tony set up a video chat with Fury on the big screen TV. The SHIELD director looked even more imposing larger than life.

"Sorry to cut your vacation short, people, but we've had a serious incident here in New York." The screen shifted to news coverage of a variety of locations, several on fire, the others swarmed with rescue crews, paramedics, and even civilians helping to move the injured out onto the street. "A series of explosions has occurred between five PM and eight," he explained. "We thought the first was an accident, it happened in a hardware store that sold propane, but then the second, and the third..." Fury trailed off, disbelief in his voice. "There were five explosions in total. We are expecting more, although the time since the last has been longer than the intervals in between."

The Avengers and their friends stared at the screen in shock. It felt unreal, half a world away, and it took a moment to get their heads around it.

"What measures have been taken?" Steve asked, ever the leader.

"All cell phone service has been shut down, but we don't think that it was a cell phone detonator, so we may lift that soon. The problem is, we can't seem to figure out what caused the explosions. No accelerants were found, no debris in the victims that was not local. The only lead we have right now is this:" The screen changed again to a series of surveillance videos, played in fast motion. In each, a young woman stood perfectly still for a couple minutes before there was a flash of light and the tapes ended.

Loki frowned a little, but said nothing.

"We're trying to track the identities of these girls, but we need you to come in. Several terrorist groups have claimed responsibility, but none of them seem legit. The city is pretty shaken, and the media has been giving us a hard time." A couple news broadcasts popped up on the screen, one with the ominous title "Where Are Our Heroes?"

"We'll be there as soon as possible," Steve offered.

"I've already had everyone's baggage loaded up," Tony said helpfully.

"Good," Fury said. "Put the civilians on one of your planes. I sent out a Quinjet for the Avengers after the second explosion, it should be there soon." Right on cue, the sound of a jet overhead could be heard.

Everyone nodded, and Tony turned to kiss Pepper, Thor folded Jane in a tight embrace, while Clint and Darcy had a small, quiet argument.

"Um, Sir?" Loki asked shyly. "Bit of _deja vu_, here, but which plane should I go on?"

The room grew quiet as everyone waited to hear Fury's response. "Go with the team," he said gruffly. "I have a feeling we're going to need your... expertise on this one," he lamented.

* * *

The plane ride back was quiet, mainly punctuated with reports from Agent Hill as the time passed. The death toll rose as surgeons worked—and occasionally failed—through the night, but then stabilized in the early morning. Google set up a system that worked independent of the cell phone towers so that people could locate their loved ones.

By the time they got back, it was all over.

After the fifth attack, no more came. The city seemed to be on pins and needles, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Until the perpetrator was caught, no one would rest easy. But in the 9 hours it took the Avengers to reach New York, there were no new leads. Things were looking grim; if they didn't find something within the next twenty-four hours, it would likely be a very long investigation.

As soon as the plane landed, Bruce rushed off to the nearest hospital to see what good he could do.

Tony and Steve both made public appearances. Tony gave a speech, in which he called the instigator a coward. Steve preferred to be seen doing what little good he could, talking with the families, visiting the wounded, and brainstorming with police.

Clint and Natasha worked more quietly, investigating the girls from the security tapes away from the public eye. They had chosen to keep this detail from the media—the girls may not have been willing participants, judging by the glazed look on their faces in the last few minutes of their lives. It was slow going, as they must identify each girl before trying to find their family, and then subtly gather any information they could without raising suspicion.

Thor opted to stay out of it. He was not a citizen of New York, or even this planet. He, as well as Fury, felt that it may not be appropriate for him to get too involved. When pressed for a statement, he expressed his condolences to those who had lost loved ones, and related that he had every confidence that the other members of the Avengers team would find the person responsible.

Loki was left alone with his thoughts. His counterpart had found a way to lie almost as soon as they returned. He knew why She had done it—seeing the streets of New York spattered with blood brought back too many painful memories for Her. He remembered, too, but he had a better lid on his emotions than she did.

All the same, as one day dragged into two, and then three, Loki decided to take Dr. Bryardie up on her offer to talk. The meeting was rather uneventful, and it seemed the tension which had been so thick between them had dissolved.

"So, Natasha," Rowena suggested as she poured another cup of tea. She was weary of speaking of the explosions—it was all anyone talked about these days.

"Yes," Loki took a sip of his own, a spicy chai. "Do you still think it's wise for us to... proceed?"

"I do," Rowena said confidently. "This may be a mortal perspective, but the way I see it, there will always be some crisis or tragedy going on in the world. Wait for the perfect moment, and you may miss your chance altogether."

He nodded. It was a very mortal thing to say, but it was the transience of this world he had always loved. In Asgard, where nothing changed and they had eternity, certain things seemed to lose value. Here, he was reminded that you could never count on the future to give you a better opportunity than today.

Misreading his pensive frown, she turned her cup round and round in her hands. "It's a good thing, Loki. Wanting to do this with Natasha. Everyone has darker desires, and it's alright to act on them—within reason. This is what it means to accept your shadow, you have to find a way to incorporate it into who you are without letting it take over. It's about..." she trailed off, trying to find the right way to put it.

At this, he smiled slyly. "Control?"

Rowena nodded solemnly. Then she smiled awkwardly. "It would be remiss of me if I did not make sure that you and Natasha are being... safe?"

He chuckled. He knew what she meant from one of the hygiene books his counterpart had read. "As we are both immune to diseases of all sorts, and Natasha cannot become pregnant, there is no need."

Her eyebrows drew together. "Natasha cannot conceive?" she asked.

Loki sighed and set down his cup. "I do not know the specifics, only that her body will not allow a pregnancy to come to term."

She tilted her head a little. "How do you feel about that?"

He leaned back, lacing his fingers in his lap. "I don't know. I'm not sure that children would be a good idea at this point anyway, and Natasha agrees."

"But?" she prompted, sensing his hesitation.

He smiled winsomely. "But I don't like being told I can't have something." She laughed. "If it becomes more than that, if at some future point we wish we could..." he trailed off, thinking. "I may yet be able to find a way. But it's not a concern of the present, to be sure."

She nodded. "Well, I wish you the best of luck in your bedroom adventures," she said, mildly teasing. "Just remember to take it slow. Use a safeword, and have fun." She stood, gesturing that their time had come to an end.

He stood as well and rolled his eyes a little, but at which part she was not sure. "Thank you, Dr. Bryardie," he said formally, took her hand, kissed the air above it, and left.

Rowena stood a while staring at the door he had gone through. She really, truly hoped he hadn't been scoffing at the idea of using a safeword.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Ok, time for a little lifestyle PSA. Always, always, always, always, always, ALWAYS use a safeword. Not sure I got enough alwayses in there. Exploring your darker desires can be exciting and fun when done in the right environment, but rape is NEVER ok, and the safeword is what keeps that from happening. Ok?_

_So while we're on the topic, I had a guest reviewer ask me what the "contingency plan" was, if it was from the comics (it's not) or what. It's actually referenced a couple times previously in this story, once in chapter 4, when newly Femme Loki tells Natasha that if Clint had died and Loki and Natasha had survived (and he had succeeded in taking over the world), that Loki had planned to carry out the threats he made in the hellicarrier _personally_. To prevent Clint from trying to kill himself and thus rob Loki of his talents, Loki crafted a dream which detailed this scenario. It's the dream that appears in chapter 57, and is also hinted at the end of chapter 20. Clint, Femme Loki, and Natasha also discuss this during chapter 39. Hope that helps clear things up._

_As always, your reviews all mean so much to me. I'm going through a really rough time right now, and every tiny bit of encouragement from you guys makes a huge difference. See y'all on Wednesday for Chapter 59._


	59. Picking Up the Pieces

_Theme song for this chapter is "The Broken" by Lit. Google Drive tells me I wrote this chapter on April 24, the day before the Iron Man international release, and I swear to you I have not changed a word since. Crazy stuff, man._

* * *

**Chapter 59: Picking Up the Pieces**

When Loki got back to his apartment, Natasha was already waiting at the kitchen table. "Thor let me in," she explained, taking a sip from a mug. "He went out to get some groceries," she explained.

He gave her an incredulous look. "That should be... interesting."

She smiled, obviously tired. "Jane and Darcy went with him, so I don't expect a crisis."

Loki smiled a little, and though he was not tired, poured himself a cup of the chocolate tea as well. "How goes the investigation?" he asked.

She sighed heavily. "Not good. We've identified all the girls, and located all of their families, but nothing adds up. None of them know each other, all of them were good kids, had good grades, had plans laid out... not even remotely suicidal. None of them were involved in fanatical religious groups—although a couple were fundamental Christians, but they seemed like good, solid people, just a little too up-tight." She set her mug down, staring at it. "Nothing adds up."

He sat opposite her and frowned. "I believe I read somewhere that everyone in this realm is separated by six people or less," he mused.

"Six degrees of separation. Actually the average is 4.5," she added.

"Well," he spread his hands. "Then there must be _some _kind of connection between these girls. People theyknew, places they went, something."

"I suppose," Natasha agreed, sounding less than enthused. "But we just haven't found it yet. Tomorrow we begin the in-depth interviews, trying to draw out a timeline for all of the girls' activities in the recent past."

"What about the bombs? Have they learned anything more?" Loki asked.

She shook her head. "Not bombs, that's what they've learned. Tony and Bruce examined each of the locations and there was nothing to be found. No accelerants, detonators, parts, shrapnel, radiation or chemical residue. But the force and temperatures involved..." she trailed off, trying not to think of the pictures of the victims, of how they reminded her of the hospital fire, "were considerable. It was like they spontaneously combusted, but... more so."

Loki's frown deepened.

"What?" Natasha asked.

He shifted in his seat, looking at her cautiously. "I... have a theory. I don't want to say what until I'm sure. You find me the connection between those girls, and I may be able to tell you what it means."

She raised an eyebrow but didn't push. "Anything specific I should be looking for?"

He took a long sip of his tea. "Someone. Ask if the girls met anyone new or unusual in the last few weeks... not more than a month out."

The second eyebrow joined the first. "Well that shouldn't be too difficult," she said with relief.

Loki said nothing, and it was clear to her that he didn't want to speak further on the subject.

"So how did it go with Dr. Bryardie?" she asked instead.

"Good," he said simply.

"Good?" Natasha asked. It was not the response she had expected.

He sighed, and looked for the right words. "She thinks the nightmares... are a good sign. Supposedly they only happen when you are safe," he looked to her.

She shrugged. "If we're dealing with my experience for comparison, yeah, I'd say that sounds right. One of the other reasons I like to keep myself busy."

He nodded. "It was likely..." here he paused, glancing out the window and hesitating. "It might have been the game that triggered it."

Natasha barely reacted, waiting for more.

"But... It may be a good thing. Progress. But I might have the dream again if we...'

"Loki," she interrupted him softly. "You will have the nightmare again. Something like that just doesn't disappear from your brain."

He pressed his lips together. "I know. Dr. Bryardie encouraged me to... continue your 'education,'" he said with a smile. "She thought it would be cathartic for both of us, I believe."

"But?" Natasha pressed.

"But I am trying to decide for myself if that's a good idea," he said quietly, studying her reaction carefully.

She smiled a little. "Good. Rowena can be a help now and then, but it's never a good idea to let someone else do the thinking for you."

"No..." he said softly, and stared into his tea.

After a pause, Natasha spoke again. "And was _I _going to have any say in the matter?" she asked archly.

He scowled, but in a playful sort of way. "Eventually," he teased.

"After what?" she fought the smile.

Loki took another swig of tea and gave her his best smug smile. "After I decided what we were going to do."

She just laughed. "Well if my opinion has any weight in the matter, and I think it probably should, since I'd like to see you try to pull something I hadn't agreed to,"

Here he gave her an 'Oh, really?' look, which she ignored,

"then you might like to know that I was rather looking forward to... continuing my education," she said in a low, thrilling voice.

Loki felt his heartbeat accelerate dramatically, and fought to conceal his reaction. He merely lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. "Oh?" he asked, in a remarkable show of nonchalance.

A wicked smile let him know that she saw right through it. "Oh, yes," she breathed. "If the rest of it is anything like that night, with the mirror, then I'd very much like to learn more."

Loki carefully set his tea on the table, absently licking his lips and shifting in his seat so he could lean towards her. He reached his hand across the table until his fingers just barely brushed against hers. There was a kind of electricity between them, and he almost took her hand in his. But instead he held it still, waiting to see how she would react.

"What I showed you was the merest glimpse of what I could do," he warned. "From here on it gets much worse." His voice was low and quiet, barely above a whisper.

Natasha's eyes narrowed by the slightest fraction. Why was it that he always tried to scare her off just as she agreed? "An appeal to my curiosity," she said instead. "I like it."

He half-sighed, half-laughed. "It would mean a great deal to me, though."

"It would please you?" there was something magical about the way she said 'please.'

"Yes," he breathed.

Slowly, Natasha slid her hand into his. "Alright, then."

If she had sounded completely confident, Loki would have worried whether she was being sincere. But there was a softness to her voice, a hesitation that he rarely heard. He loved it. It sent shivers down his arm from where she touched him, and he decided that he had to have her, right now, on the kitchen table. Something in her eyes told him she knew it, too.

Suddenly, Darcy burst in the front door, Jane and Thor laden with groceries behind her. When Natasha and Loki's hands jerked away from each other, she grinned. "Ooooh," she called in a teasing voice. "Loki and Natasha, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Loki gritted his teeth and glared at her. "Remind me why I like you?" he growled.

"Because," she pronounced as she put the only bag she carried on the counter, "I am witty and snarky, and I have Clint Barton wrapped around my smallest finger."

He laughed at that, and Natasha nearly choked on her tea. "Now I remember," he said good naturedly, "As the most bluntly honest woman in the nine realms, you would naturally be my friend," he rolled his eyes.

Darcy's eyes got very large and she completely ignored Jane and Thor putting away all the groceries. "Really?" she asked. "We're friends?"

He glanced down at his hands, at the others in the small kitchen. Natasha was doing a good job of pretending that she wasn't listening to the conversation. Thor and Jane, who were putting the groceries away _very slowly_ obviously lacked her eavesdropping skills. "Yes," he said shortly, as if he longed to proceed to a new topic of conversation.

For a moment, Darcy looked like she might hug Loki, but just then Jane asked if she knew where the yogurt had gone, and she amended her reaction to "That's cool," and turned around to help.

Natasha gave him an amused look, and he just scowled at her, frustrated by the interruption of what he thought was a _very _nice conversation. "What?" he demanded, a little short-tempered.

"I foresee some shopping trips in your counterpart's near future," she said mysteriously.

Oddly, Loki felt the slightest glimmer of excitement at the prospect, but he couldn't say why.

"So, are you staying for dinner?" Darcy asked Natasha cheerfully. "I'm making chicken curry!" she announced.

Loki lifted an eyebrow, he had yet to see what sort of cook Darcy was.

Natasha smiled but shook her head. "No I need to go into headquarters and make some reports," she sighed a little. "I just wanted to drop by to say hi."

"Suuuuuure," Darcy drawled, with her cat-that-ate-the-cream smile.

Unfazed, Natasha got up, put her mug in the sink, and on her way out of the kitchen, briefly put a hand on Loki's shoulder. He looked up at her, at the mischief still sparkling in her eyes, and had to suppress a growl. "Later," he said, almost demanding.

"Later," she promised, and left.

Loki continued to sit at the table while the others finished putting away the groceries. Getting up and helping was not really an option at the moment, without embarrassment. At last they finished, and Darcy sat at the table in the exact spot Natasha had occupied.

"Did we interrupt something?" she teased. "You two were looking at each other like you were about to do the deed right here in the kitchen!"

Loki leveled a glare at her. "And then _you _walked in," he complained.

Jane, who had just opened a can of soda and begun drinking it, nearly choked. Darcy burst into a fit of giggles and Thor chuckled as he patted Jane's back.

Oddly, Loki didn't chafe at their laughter. He realized that each of these people accepted him as he was—even Jane, reluctantly, with the same grace she faced everything—and Natasha did as well. Is that what it felt like, to have a family? he wondered.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Awww, teh Loki feels._

_Darcy is such a cockblock for this story. I'll set up to write a nice little smut scene, and suddenly she'll pop into my head saying "NO! This story needs more ME!" lol._

_Well, gotta run, crazy busy but I promise to find a spare moment to post on Saturday, although it probably won't be at the usual time due to wedding preparations!_


	60. Turnabout is Fair Play

_Song: "Come Along" by Vicci Martinez and Cee-Lo Green_

* * *

**Chapter 60: Turnabout is Fair Play**

Later turned out to be much later. Jane and Darcy left, and Thor with them. He likely wouldn't be back until late—it seemed to take a long time for him to say goodbye to Jane. Loki stationed himself near the apartment's front door, reading and waiting for the sound of Natasha's return. He would have waited in her room, if he could, but he didn't have a key. _Besides_, he chuckled, _she might not appreciate such... surprises._

He was on his third book in a series of thick paperbacks that he was finding highly amusing, when he heard the sound of Natasha's key in her door. He carefully marked his place, and went into the hallway. He closed his door just as she was opening hers.

"Hey," Natasha greeted him tiredly, with a quick glance. She went in, and he followed, hovering near the door.

"You seem tired," he said hesitantly. "Perhaps I should come back tomorrow..." It was Friday, and he knew she had the weekend off.

"Loki, that's very considerate of you," she said as she poked in the fridge for something to eat. "But I have had a shitty day, as Clint would say, and now all I want to do is just spend some downtime with you."

Her words engendered a strange reaction in him: it was as if something had been squeezed tight in his chest, and now was let loose. He was flattered, too, that she would consider him her respite. He took a few steps forward, and smirked. "I only ask because what I had in mind requires quite a bit of stamina. Here, let me do that," he took the box of instant macaroni from her hands and scowled at it. "On second thought, wait here."

Replacing the box on its shelf, Loki left the apartment for his own, and came back a few minutes later with a steaming plate of rice and chicken curry.

"God, that smells fabulous," Natasha admitted from the table where she sat.

He placed the dish before her with a flourish and took the seat next to her. "Leftovers from Darcy's experiment," he proclaimed.

The fork hesitated a few inches from Natasha's mouth, and she raised an eyebrow.

He grinned at her. "I helped."

She took the bite and chewed, thinking. "It's good," she said at last. "Really good. But it doesn't taste like curry."

"It's a long story," Loki waved his hand dismissively.

She nodded and continued to eat. "So what, exactly, did you have planned that takes so much stamina?" she asked slyly.

The corner of his mouth twitched and he picked at a non-existent spot on the table. "I've been toying with the idea of bondage," he admitted.

She gave him a mildly surprised look. "Any specific reason?" her voice and her face gave nothing away about how she felt on the subject.

Loki had spent a lot of time thinking how to phrase this. "I've heard it told that there isn't a pair of handcuffs or a rope that could hold you. I think it would be intriguing to test this theory."

At this she smiled as if she knew a secret.

"What?" he asked.

"Do you know what I was doing when I was first informed you had... arrived?" she searched for the neutral word.

He leaned back and gestured for her to share.

"I was interrogating an arms dealer, when Phil called." She paused, it was the first time she had mentioned Phil in his presence. "I told him I was busy, that the guy was giving me everything. You should have seen the look on his face. You see, at the time, I was tied to a chair and being dangled over a three-story drop."

Loki grinned at this detail. "And they let you answer your phone?"

"It wasn't my phone, it was one of the dealer's goons'. I don't know what Phil said to them, but they gave me the phone. He had a way with words like that." She took another bite before continuing the story. "I was a little pissed at the interruption, to be honest, but then Phil said that—" she glanced at him, her hesitation lasting less than half a second, "—Barton had been compromised." Her voice was a little strained from the remembered emotion.

"So what did you do?" It was strange, to think that his actions had affected her so strongly before he even knew her.

She smiled, shrugging off the somber mood. "I kicked their asses."

He blinked. "While tied to the chair?"

Natasha's grin became cocky. "In the chair, and _with _the chair."

He tried to picture it, shaking his head. "I would have paid good money to see that... It must have been magnificent."

"I am a little attached to these chairs, but if you find one you don't mind being broken I'd be happy to give a demonstration," she said teasingly, picking up her empty plate and setting it in her sink to wash later.

Loki's head tilted and his eyes narrowed a little, thinking. She was implying something more than her consent, and he was determined to figure it out. "You have rope?" he said at last.

She did not meet his gaze in the mirror above the sink. "The question is not _if _I have rope, but rather what kind to use. Tools of the trade," she reminded him. Her voice was matter-of-fact, and her continued lack of eye contact told him that she was more nervous about the concept than she let on.

"Silk," he said simply.

Now she did meet his eyes, her curiosity sparked once more. He made a mental note to keep her curious. "Stronger?" she guessed.

Loki stood and came to stand behind her, looking at their reflections in the mirror. He picked up one of her hands and brought it to his face, kissing the inside of her wrist. "Softer," he explained, "less likely to chafe."

She shuddered beneath his touch, and he could not resist the urge to press himself against her soft curves. He looked for her reaction, but she only seemed amused.

"I wouldn't have thought comfort could be taken into consideration when tying someone to a chair," she teased.

He just smiled back, and whispered in her ear, "Oh, I'm not going to tie you to a chair..." He slid his hands around her, claiming her by the handful and eliciting a delicious moan from her lips. The edge of her shirt was lifted, and he slid a hand beneath it, tracing the lacy edges of her bra. In no time at all she was gripping the edge of the sink hard, her breath coming quickly.

"Natasha," he whispered against her hair. She moaned absently in response. "I want you to do something for me, darling," he said sweetly.

His tone raised warning bells in her mind, and she opened her eyes to find the reflection of his. "What?"

A wicked smirk accompanied his answer: "Go get the rope."

* * *

That weekend Natasha was relieved of the illusion that she knew everything there was to know about ropes and knots. She knew every which way to secure a prisoner, and several different methods for killing with rope, and she had assumed that was all the more there was to it. But Loki knew more knots than a sailor, and found inventive ways to use them that put her stamina and flexibility to the test.

And yet, she could sense he was holding back. He would tie her up like a Christmas present, and then he would be gentle and slow with her, like he was afraid she would break. It was infuriating. She missed the heated passion of the mirror game, and found herself intentionally provoking him to get a response. But he would just smile that sly grin of his and tie the knots tighter.

After two days of this torture-that-wasn't-torture, she was almost glad to see him go. Almost. She was, however, extremely glad to see his counterpart sitting in her living room when she got home from work on Monday.

"I hope you don't mind that I let myself in," she said sheepishly.

Natasha just smiled. "No, problem. I should get you a key."

Loki continued to look guilty. "No need to bother," she hid a smile and held up a key.

"You know, that would be damn handy on some missions," she admitted.

"Well, maybe someday I can help you out again," she suggested hopefully.

She studied Femme Loki carefully. She had been a valuable asset on their mission to London. So why did she suddenly feel that SHIELD details were too dangerous for her? Loki had not gotten any less capable, in fact, over the past few months she had seemed to grow far more confident and independent. Natasha puzzled over her reaction.

"You look frustrated," Loki pointed out. "His fault?"

She sighed gratefully at the change of topic. "Somewhat." She sat gracefully on the couch very close to Loki.

"He tells me that you've been... what was the phrase He used? 'Quizzing Him on His knot-tying skills.' I assume that means you've been trying more games?" she asked, pretending to be only mildly interested in the subject.

"Yes and no," Natasha grumbled. "We've been playing with ropes, but I'm not sure his heart's in it. He doesn't seem terribly enthusiastic."

"Oh, but I _love _the tying arts," Loki gushed, before realizing what she had just said and blushing. "That is... I mean... in the past, it was... rather a favorite hobby."

She couldn't help but smile at her response. The unfettered enthusiasm was more reassuring than Loki might have guessed. "It's just... sometimes He ties me up and just _leaves _me there for a while. And when he does take advantage, he doesn't take full advantage," she huffed.

Loki had a very amused look on her face. "That's... actually part of His fun. Working you up like that. Don't worry, it won't last forever. I... that is, He usually gets bored of that pretty quickly."

Natasha leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes. "And I feel like... I wish this was reciprocal, you know? Like I could get him back for the tricks he pulls. It seems a little unbalanced. I suggested it to Him, but he just laughed. I guess I've got a week to think of something."

Loki was silent so long that Natasha finally opened her eyes to gauge her expression. She seemed to be on the edge of saying something, as if wondering if she should. She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought.

Leaning forward, Natasha kissed her, pulling her lip into her own mouth and biting it playfully. "What?" she asked when she let it go, still hovering close.

"Um, you could... you could always reciprocate on me," she suggested quietly.

It only took Natasha a split second to analyze the consequences of her idea. She knew the other Loki was in there, watching, and anything she did now would affect him somehow. She smiled when she thought how royally ticked off he would probably be. She kissed Loki again, more forcefully this time, moving so that she straddled her slim hips. Beneath her touch, Loki trembled, and Natasha felt her own stomach flutter at the familiar high.

"That," she breathed against Loki's lips, "is an excellent idea."

* * *

_**A/N: **__Just a quick note today, my sis is getting married tomorrow, and things are way crazy around here. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I love hearing all of your fabulous reviews!_


	61. Payback

_Remember the PSA about safewords a while back? This chapter is a good example of when it would have been a really good time to have one. So, naturally, this chapter has some pretty mature stuff in it._

_Just for fun, the theme song of this chapter is "S&M" by Rihanna._

_Late start today, so I thought I'd post before I go to work. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 61: Payback**

Natasha stared down at the unexpected bounty before her. An omelet, buttered toast, and a cup of the extra-caffeinated chocolate tea she loved were set on an ornate trestle tray, along with a single orchid in a slender glass vase.

"Breakfast in bed?" she laughed.

Loki shrugged and climbed back into bed beside her. "I just wanted to say thank you. And apologize," she chewed her bottom lip a little.

As she took a bite of toast, Natasha raised a quizzical eyebrow. "For what?"

"Well," Loki blushed. "I had... a lot of fun this week," she smiled.

Natasha smiled too. It had been fun, more so than she had anticipated. She had set herself a private goal of finding things which Loki was unfamiliar with, mainly because the look of surprise on her face was extremely gratifying, but she also had ulterior motives... "Ok, I can kind of understand the gratitude then, but why the apology?"

She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. "I'm apologizing for something that hasn't happened yet."

The omelet was heavenly, and distracted her long enough that it took her a few moments for Loki's words to sink in. "Not something _you're _going to do?" she guessed.

Without opening her eyes, Loki nodded. "He's angry. I can feel it. I don't know what He'll do when I switch."

Natasha leaned over, tilting Loki's chin up with a fingertip so she would open her eyes. "Whatever He does, it's not your fault. I'm the one who's been provoking him, and I can handle the consequences, ok?"

She nodded, and Natasha kissed her before getting up. "Wait until I've gone to work," she suggested. "Whatever mood He's in, He knows better than to interrupt me. Maybe it will give him time to cool off."

"Or get really worked up," she groaned.

Natasha chuckled. "Maybe. Either way, like I said, I can handle it."

Loki gave her a doubting look. "If you say so." She stood, stretched, and her green silk night gown was replaced with a long green tunic and tight black jeans. "I'd better go check in with Thor this morning anyway," she reasoned, "He's always nice and gullible. Or Jane," she made a face, remembering nearly walking in on the amorous pair. Jane had been staying over more often than not, but it had been less of a bother since she had spent most nights in Natasha's bed anyway.

After rummaging through her closet and selecting what she wanted for the day, Natasha turned and regarded Loki carefully. "You could move some of your stuff here, if you wanted to," she offered. Natasha was normally a very private person, but it was worth it just to see her face light up.

"Really? I mean..." Loki looked around, trying to hide her enthusiasm. "I don't really have a lot of stuff I need. I usually just—" and here she pulled a hair clip out of thin air before using it to put half her hair up.

"I guess not. But maybe some of His stuff?"

"Oh. Yeah. Maybe. You'll have to ask Him." She fiddled with her ruby absently.

Natasha watched her carefully in the mirror above the bed—Loki had eagerly duplicated her improvement to the vacation house here—without her noticing. She still wasn't sure how Femme Loki felt about her relationship with the other Loki. She knew He was oddly jealous of them, but this Loki seemed more insecure than anything. To Natasha, it was simple. Loki was Loki, they were more similar than they were different, and it was more like being in a relationship with one very bipolar person than two. Certainly not the most complicated arrangement she had ever found herself in.

"Well, um, I guess I'll be going, then," Loki said with a sad smile.

"Ok," Natasha paused in her morning ritual long enough to give her a very thorough kiss, leaving Loki more than a little breathless. "I'll see you next week," she murmured softly. "I'll miss you," she added without thinking, before realizing it was true.

"I—" Loki paused. She wasn't going to say she would miss Natasha, because it wasn't possible—for her the time He claimed passed like the blink of an eye—but she certainly couldn't say what had almost slipped past her lips. "I hope you have a good day," she amended lamely.

"Thanks." If Natasha noticed the hesitation, she said nothing about it. She just watched her leave, smirking as she thought of the old phrase Tony had used to joke about herself; _Hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave._

* * *

Natasha sighed heavily. It had been a long day, but she had finally found the thing she was looking for. Sifting through the notes and recordings of dozens of interviews, she had managed to hit on the one commonality of the five girls. She had called a meeting for the next day, since Tony was at some charity function in Europe at the moment. For now, she had some time to deal with more personal issues.

As she passed the door to Thor and Loki's apartment, she could hear a turbulent song being pounded out on the piano. _Sounds like Loki's still in a snit, _she thought, and decided that she would change into more comfortable clothes before she dealt with the brooding god.

She unlocked her door and shuffled in, not bothering to turn on the light. Halfway across the room, the hair on the back of her neck stood up and she ducked out of pure instinct. She was rewarded with a rustle of cloth and a soft curse. Recognizing the voice, she frowned, but swept out a low kick just in case. Unfortunately, the spare second of hesitation cost her the edge. Her leg was caught, pulled, and twisted, causing her to flip over onto her stomach. She managed to get her hands under her, but before she could push up, something caught her arms and pulled them together behind her back, tying them securely.

With that, she suddenly realized what was going on. She sighed, exasperated. "Loki, I am _not _in the mood for this."

He moved forward, hovering over her so he could speak in her ear. "Too bad," he growled. "I am." From his voice, and the way he jerked the rope for emphasis, she could tell that he was still very angry. She did not protest as he hauled her to her feet, and then secured the rope that held her arms to something several inches too short. _Kitchen chair,_ she thought. The uncomfortable height forced her to either arch her back or lean dangerously off balance. Loki's hand at the small of her back was all that kept her from tipping over.

"You have been driving me mad all week, woman," he said in a low, threatening voice.

Natasha failed to be intimidated. "Not my fault it's a short trip," she quipped, knowing as she did so that she was treading on thin ice.

Loki grabbed her hair and pulled, tipping her off balance and holding her there. She was reminded of the interrogation she had told him about, and wondered if that was what he sought to recreate. "You know very well that I know you did it deliberately," he hissed. Her eyes finally adjusted to the dark, and she could see him above her, could see the grudging admiration in his expression. "But did you know that _She _can tell, hmm? That she knows when you look in Her eyes, sometimes you're looking for me?"

Her eyes widened, and when she didn't answer he tipped her back further. "Yes," she gasped.

Setting the chair back down level, he took a step back, surprised. "How very cruel of you," he chided.

She glared at him. How dare he lecture her on such things? "That's why She likes it," she jabbed.

Loki's hand flew back, and he caught himself the moment before he slapped her. He stared at his hand in mild shock, as if it had grown a mind of its own.

"Don't," she said in a low, no-nonsense voice.

His eyes cut to hers, and he closed the upraised hand into a fist, but dropped it. "What was that?" he dared her to defy him again.

"No hitting, unless we're sparring," she clarified, irritated with his attitude.

He sneered, and grabbed her chin roughly. "Oh, so you make the rules now?"

"Yes," Natasha said, without a modicum of fear or reservation.

They held each other's stares in a silent battle of wills. Each knew that if Loki did not concede, the real fight was about to begin. At last, he let out a breathless laugh and let go.

"Look at you, setting terms from that position," he shook his head and smiled. "You are magnificent." He trailed a finger down her cheek, and the gentle touch felt like an apology. "Alright. I will not strike you, not if you don't wish it." He leaned in and kissed her, tipping the chair back again, but this time he held her securely against his body, and the sensation was entirely different. "But you make me so blindingly furious, Natasha. You cannot deny me a little revenge." He reached down and began to push up the hem of her pencil skirt. It wasn't as short as he would like, but it would do.

As he lifted her hips, Natasha had no choice but to wrap her legs around his waist. She was in an incredibly uncomfortable position, but Loki was finally mad with the passion she craved. Each thrust of his hips tilted the chair as he lavished attention on her breasts, which were thrust upward by the arching of her back.

"Loki, please," she gasped, clenching her legs around him tightly as the chair shifted, nearly scooting out from underneath her.

He cursed again, and reached behind her to pull out the knot, freeing her arms so she could cling to him as he turned and set her down on the table. He quickly disentangled himself from her, flipped her over, slipped off her panties, and then spread her feet with his own.

Natasha gripped the edge of the table, her heart racing as she heard him curse as he fumbled with the fly of his pants one-handed, the other pressing down on the small of her back. At last, he was finally inside her, and she cried out at the sweet relief of it. "Yes," she breathed, as he took up a quick and ruthless pace.

Although he wanted to stay angry, Loki couldn't help but grin. "_This _is what you wanted?" he demanded with a sharp thrust.

"Yes," Natasha yelped.

"_This _is what you craved all those nights, _this _is what you yearned for," he continued to emphasize his words with his movements, and then leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "_This _is what She cannot give you," he teased.

She closed her eyes, digging her nails into the wood of the table and biting her lip. "Yes," she whimpered. And then she lost herself to the force of his passion.

* * *

Afterward, his anger and lust slaked, Loki attempted to apologize. Natasha would have none of it.

"I knew what game I was playing," she argued as she located her panties and shimmied back into them.

Loki gave her the same doubtful look his counterpart had worn earlier that day.

She changed the subject. "I've called a meeting for tomorrow," she smiled slyly as she flipped on the lights, sauntering back to the table where he sat, momentarily exhausted. "I've found a common link."

His face lit up. "What is it?"

She wagged her finger at him. "Now, it wouldn't be fair of me to tell you before the others, would it?"

He regarded her with a mixture of disbelief and irritation. "You really like playing with fire, don't you?"

Natasha sat on his lap, facing him. "I missed you too," she joked, and kissed him, making him moan against her lips.

Loki framed her face with his hands, looking into her eyes. "Why do you do this to me?" he asked.

"Because," she smiled, but there was a seriousness to her voice. "Turnabout is fair play."

He smiled too, and shook his head. "And they call _me _crazy."

* * *

_**A/N: **__So I got waaaay distracted with my sister's wedding and finishing up Pity for the Devil that I didn't realize until today that I had nearly used up my buffer! Guess I better get back to writing this! I was hoping to have more time to write this summer, but I actually managed to land myself a full-time job, so I'll probably have less. *sigh* I fully intend to keep posting regularly, but I may need to drop down to a once-a-week schedule again. Not much of the story left, though, so we'll see._


	62. Desperate Times

_Theme song: "In for the Kill" by La Roux. "Faithful Reader" - there's a reply to your fabulous review at the bottom. ^.~_

* * *

**Chapter 62: Desperate Times**

The next morning, Natasha waited patiently for everyone to arrive at the meeting. Fury had been there even before her, and Loki had come with her, so she was forced to endure both of their inquisitive glares while the others filtered in.

Steve and Maria came at the same time, chatting animatedly. Tony and Bruce also showed up about ten minutes early, still deep in discussion about whatever they had been doing in the lab. Dr. Bryardie drifted in without comment a few moments later. Clint came next, alone, and nodded to Natasha before sitting. Lastly, Thor walked in, looking a bit rushed.

"Am I late?" he asked apologetically.

Natasha glanced up at the clock. "No, actually you are right on time, so we can get started."

He nodded and took a seat next to Loki, who gave him a half-hearted glare. Thor looked a little sheepish, and they could all guess the reason he was late.

Typing a series of commands into the in-table console, Natasha brought up the same information in front of each person. It showed a summary of the info they had gathered about each of the five girls, along with their pictures at the top.

"We have spent two weeks doing an in-depth investigation of each of the primary victims," she explained. "We are labeling them victims because none of their backgrounds indicate they were likely to be intentionally involved. They were each from good families, had good academic standing, and had bright futures ahead of them."

Steve sighed at the waste of it, and Tony shook his head.

"However, each of them experienced the same event in the weeks leading up to the attack." She swiped her hand over the console and short interview transcripts appeared in each column. "Each of them had someone they knew attempt to sexually assault them. Only one of them filed a police report, or we would have noticed it earlier. Most of them didn't bother."

"You said 'attempted,' I'm guessing that's why they didn't file reports?" Rowena asked.

"Yes. In each case, the assault was stopped by a stranger, a young man who introduced himself as Trent Ashburn," she replied. "None of them knew him previously or had any contact with him afterwards. He simply seemed to be at the right place at the right time, stopped the assault, offered the girl a ride home in a fancy car, and then disappeared."

"Have you found this Mr. Ashburn?" Steve asked, sounding like he would like to shake the guy's hand.

"No. No such person exists, as far as we can tell. We've had a sketch artist make a profile, but all of the descriptions are second-hand, so we don't know how accurate it is." She tapped a few keys, and a sketch appeared on their screens.

"Looks like you, Cap," Tony teased. In fact, the sketch looked a lot like Steve. The man was young, blonde, and had a strong, handsome jaw. They all studied the image, except for Loki, who was still carefully reading the interview transcripts.

"You said the girls came from good families. Did you mean socio-economically well off, or morally conservative?" he asked, as if he suspected something.

"Morally conservative," Natasha answered, wondering where he was going.

He looked up from the screen. "So it would be reasonable to assume that they were virgins?"

There were uncomfortable murmurs around the table, but Thor turned to peer at his brother questioningly, as if he knew where the conversation were headed.

"I would wager they were," she agreed, "since the nature of the sexual assaults were fairly minor-the men in question were friends or boyfriends of the victims who took physical liberties the girls objected to. The one case where it was reported to the police, it was only because the girl's father was outraged."

Loki nodded, and sat back with a scowl on his face.

"You wanna share with the class?" Fury drawled.

He glanced up, hesitated, glanced over at Thor, and then spoke. "There is a form of magic, called blood magic, which uses a living thing as its focus."

Thor swore under his breath, as if his worst fear was confirmed.

"Most of the spells require animal sacrifice, but a few of the more... potent ones use sentient creatures," Loki went on.

"Wait, human sacrifice?" Clint looked skeptical.

"Humans will suffice, but an Aesir or one of the Light Elves would be especially effective. You see, the spell is powered by the life force of the subject. The purity of the vessel is especially important," Loki sounded like he was reciting from a textbook. Looking at Thor, Natasha guessed that he probably was, and that Thor had heard the same lesson.

"So... _virgin _human sacrifice." Clint's voice held less suspicion, and more dread as even he could see the pieces fall together.

"Precisely. And what better way to find such a victim in this modern world where morals are almost a thing of the past?" he asked cynically.

"Find someone who puts up a fight," Maria said softly. "Son of a bitch."

Loki tapped the sketch. "This man, this 'Ashburn,' is your criminal."

"How do we know he's not just working for someone else?" Tony asked.

He shook his head. "To find the victims, he would have set up a summoning rune. It would be limited by area-a few square miles at most-and he would need to get there quickly since it would be activated at the first cry for help."

"Summoning rune?" Rowena asked.

Loki turned to face her. "Less like the ones you use, more like the one Agent Romanoff and I used in our mission to Poland. When triggered, the rune, or whatever device used, causes a sensation in the caster which draws them to the site of activation."

"Like a spider in a web," Natasha murmured. A few people sent uncomfortable glances her way, but Loki just smiled.

"The important questions are, why did he do it, and will he do it again?" Fury asked.

"Hard to say," Loki sighed. "If we knew more about the caster, what his real identity is, we might find that he had something to do with each of the attack sites. My guess is it was motivated personally, since these kinds of spells involve a lot of preparation and work." More uncomfortable stares as the others caught the implication that Loki knew this from personal experience.

"Then I would guess he will do it again," Dr. Bryardie suggested. "Especially since he got away with it the first time. His sense of victory will wear off, and he'll be driven to top himself. These places: a hardware store, a shoe store, grocery store... they're all retail locations. He may have been turned down for jobs at these locations. Now that he has his revenge on them, he may try to use the next attack for some other personal gain."

"Like robbing a bank?" Steve suggested, and Rowena nodded.

"How do we know when he'll attack?" Maria asked.

"Blood magic is highly influenced by astrological factors..." Loki turned to Rowena, who quickly pulled up a website and searched for what might have been involved.

"Looks like Mars was rising, and-Oh! It was a full moon," she realized aloud. Loki gave her a questioning look. "We've only got the one moon, and it has a lot of influence over natural cycles and magic here," she explained.

He nodded. "That would do it, then. I would say the next attack would happen on the next full moon."

"That's only two weeks away," Thor blurted. Everyone glanced at him, surprised at his enthusiasm. He just smiled. "Jane has been teaching me the constellations you can see from this realm, and the patterns they follow."

Loki gave him a thoughtful look, but turned his attention back to the subject at hand. "Then he will have already started collecting new victims," he reasoned.

This was met with silence.

Bruce, who had yet to say anything, asked the question they were all thinking. "So what are we going to do to stop him?"

"We could have the police be on the lookout for similar incidents," Maria suggested half-heartedly.

Natasha shook her head. "Most women don't report this sort of thing, especially if there's no physical proof."

"We could do a manhunt," Clint argued.

"He probably doesn't really look like this," Rowena argued. "Glamour, right?" she asked Loki, who nodded. "Well-off people don't typically commit this kind of crime, so he's just posing."

There was another long silence as everyone brainstormed.

"We could set a trap for him," Loki said quietly, and something in his voice was chilling. Natasha recognized the look on his face, remembered their conversation before the mission in Poland. Loki wanted-needed-to hunt.

"How?" Fury asked, sounding suspicious.

Loki looked to Natasha, thinking. "Do we know where the assaults occurred?"

She typed in a few commands, and a map of upper Manhattan appeared, with five red dots no more than ten blocks apart.

"Then we know his hunting grounds. We go there, and stage an assault. See if he shows up," Loki tried to sound casual.

"You want someone to... to pretend to..." Steve couldn't manage to actually say it.

"Would it still work if it was faked?" Rowena asked, glossing right over the uncomfortable question.

"Yes. It's probably a cry for help that activates the spell, otherwise he would be summoned to every illicit back-alley tryst," Loki reasoned.

"Who would run a mission like that?" Maria asked, obviously as disgusted at the idea as Steve was.

Loki looked to Natasha, eyebrows raised.

"I will," Natasha volunteered, and she saw the look of approval in his eyes.

"What?" Clint turned to her.

"Not with you," Natasha tried to hide a smile. "With Loki. We will go undercover, trigger the spell, and then I will be able to fill in the blanks in this story."

Clint glanced at Loki, then back at her like they were both crazy. "Wait. You're talking about getting yourself kidnapped by some freaky wizard, and getting sacrificed-"

"It won't work," Natasha interrupted.

"Of course it won't-" he started.

"No, I mean the spell. The sacrifice spell. It won't have any effect on me, right?" she looked to Loki, who nodded.

"You don't know that," Clint insisted. "Natasha, this is magic we're talking about. You might be invulnerable to poison and drugs and-"

"Because I'm not a suitable focus," she glared at him, slightly frustrated that she had to spell it out.

Clint blinked at her a moment. "Oh. Yeah."

Steve cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Thor was shaking his head but smiling.

"As much as I dislike the sound of this," Fury spoke up, "it appears to be our only working plan. Unless someone else has an idea?" He looked around the table, but everyone shook their heads regretfully. "Fine. This meeting is dismissed, then. Romanoff, Loki, Stark, I'd like you to plan this quickly. We need as much info as we can on this guy, so I'd prefer if she went in wired."

Tony nodded. "We can bug the spider," he joked. "I've got some free time this afternoon."

With that, Fury stood, effectively ending the meeting. Everyone else stood to go, chatting about inconsequential things in an effort to lift the mood. Only Loki and Natasha remained sitting, at near-opposite ends of the table.

When the rest had gone, Loki spoke. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Natasha pressed her lips together for a moment. "This is what I do," she reminded him.

"That's not what I mean." He stood, and walked until he came to a stop next to her chair, tilting her chin up with a finger. "I mean the ruse."

She shrugged. "It's just pretend, Loki. I went on at least a dozen missions where I pretended to be married to Clint. It didn't mean we were going to do it for real."

Loki stared down at her and resisted the urge to point out that this was different. Pretending to be married was hardly the same thing. "I have one condition," he said instead.

She raised one eyebrow, surprised.

"You must wear my rune again, just in case," he pleaded.

"Okay..." she gave him an odd look. She had planned on asking for it anyway. "It's no big deal, right?"

Loki looked at his shoes a moment. "I will have to switch, for Her to do it."

She nodded. "I'm sure She won't object."

He smiled a little, but then frowned. "Don't... tell her the nature of our mission, please?"

Now Natasha was really confused. "Alright. If you like."

"Thank you." Loki kissed her on the forehead and left.

_Hmm_, Natasha thought. _What is going on here that I don't know about? _Perhaps it was time for her to track down Thor again.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Looooong chapter, the first of several. The story keeps running away from me, and I have to write scenes that weren't in the original outline lol. I'm anxious to get this story finished, though, so I'm not splitting up the chapters as much. Hopefully you guys won't mind, right?_

_"Faithful Reader" left a very thoughtful guest review, so I'd like to respond to it here. It may be slightly spoilerish, so you've been warned:_

_It tickles me that you're still reading this. You always leave such thoughtful reviews, and they really make me think about the story and where it's going._

_The issue of whether Loki should actually hit Natasha or not was a HUGE debate for me. I knew that plotwise, he needed to cross a line there, but actually hitting her seemed like it crossed the moral event horizon. Fortunately, my husband convinced me of this, and I re-wrote it so he _almost _hits her. I like it much better this way, too._

_The way I write Loki, he doesn't get jealous of Natasha's marks. He enjoys watching her work (and he's told her so several times) because he knows it's all an act, a deception, and she's just so damn good at it. He does, however, get intensely jealous of anyone she might have a genuine emotional attachment to. Which I think is rather telling._

_I agree, the idea of Natasha being a mindless sex slave is so OOC that it's almost laughable. Early on in the story, Dr. Bryardie tells Loki straight up that Natasha isn't a sub and never will be, unless she is completely broken (which would be difficult to do). So it's more about compromise and her learning to temporarily give up control for the sake of fun and Loki's benefit. Right now the relationship is a little unbalanced in Loki's favor, which is why she's taking it out on Femme Lokita. And yes, Femme Loki is getting the short end of the stick at the moment. But that's the source of conflict at this point in the story._

_I genuinely hope you will enjoy the way everything is resolved, and keep reading 'till the end. _


	63. Require

_Theme song: "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by the Eurythmics. Not really for the mood, but because it's mentioned in the text._

**Chapter 63: Require**

Natasha managed to track down Thor easily enough. Jarvis informed her that he was currently "laying siege to the cafeteria," and would likely be there for some time. She found him just as he was sitting down, a tray in each hand, both piled high with an alarming amount of food.

"Do you always eat like this?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

He chuckled. "No, else I would look like Volstagg," he joked. Natasha remembered a few stories Loki had told of their corpulent companion, and smiled. "But I am accustomed to feasting before battle, to build up my strength." He gestured to the chair across from him. "Please have a seat, L-Natasha." He managed to catch himself at the last moment.

She sat, amused. "You can call me Lady Natasha if it really means that much to you," she conceded. Loki had explained that the term of address was meant as an honorific, not a formality.

He grinned. "It does. I should like to address my brother's consort with the proper respect."

Natasha's eyebrows shot up at the word 'consort' and Thor froze.

"Forgive me, I meant no offense. I forget that words often have different meanings here..." he began apologizing.

"No," she reassured him. "Consort... is actually a fairly decent term for it. Here, when a member of a royal family marries someone not of high enough rank to rule, they are referred to as their consort, like Queen Elizabeth II and Philip, the Prince Consort."

Thor gave her an inquisitive glance, but sensed that a discussion of marriage would go badly. "In Asgard, a consort is an officially acknowledged companion for a member of the royal house or nobility. It's a position of honor, as marriages are often made out of politics rather than love."

She smiled. "I like that even better. I guess you're in luck, then?"

He looked confused so she elaborated. "Marrying Jane will be very politically advantageous for Asgard, it will help solidify the alliance between them and Earth."

He sat back. "I had never thought of it that way," he admitted. "Jane is not of noble birth or a member of any government..."

Natasha shook her head, interrupting him. "That will be to your benefit, here. Lately, there is a trend for the ancient noble houses to marry commoners. Prince William will someday rule with Kate as his queen, despite her humble origins. The next empress of Japan is not from any noble family, and that is the longest-living dynasty in human history. Both couples entranced the world with their love stories. If you had chosen to marry someone of noble birth, it might make the democratic majority of the world perceive you as backward in your politics. Marrying a free citizen reinforces the ideals of equality and opportunity."

Thor looked impressed with her knowledge of politics, royal and otherwise. "I shall have to look into that," he said thoughtfully. "It might actually hold weight with Father."

She nodded gracefully, and not for the first time Thor wondered if she had been trained to socialize with royalty, or if she was descended from noble stock, as her patronymic suggested. "So why did you choose to seek me out?" he asked, judging that she was not there for the food.

She sighed. "It's about your brother," she admitted, "unsurprisingly."

Chuckling, Thor moved an empty plate under a full one and started on the next dish. "He is a complicated person, is he not?"

Natasha smiled wryly. "Understatement of the century," she agreed. "There's something about this mission that is bothering him, and I'm not sure what. He's been a little stressed in general lately. He..." she trailed off. This was not how she had planned to approach the topic, but something about Thor's open, honest face made her say exactly what she was thinking.

Sensing her hesitation, Thor set down his fork and gave her his full attention. "Please, Lady Natasha, you can tell me. I will not pass judgment on either of you."

She smiled a little. "I know. But I don't want this to sound wrong. Yesterday, he almost hit me," she said quietly.

"I take it you were not sparring at the time?" he teased a little, clearly catching the implications. He sighed. "I don't want this to sound wrong, either, but have you been antagonizing him in any way? I know Loki, he keeps his temper well in check, but it's great enough that his control is not perfect."

Sighing, she picked at the edge of the table. "Maybe. Lately I've felt like things have been a little unbalanced between him and me. I tend to get a little passive-aggressive in these types of situations."

He nodded, chewing. "Have you spoken to him about it?"

The corner of her mouth twitched. "I spoke to _Her _about it."

Thor sighed. "That's hardly fair, Lady Natasha. You and I know that Loki is but a single person, divided, but _they _haven't figured that out yet. She may be easier to speak to on such matters, but He would interpret it as an act of disloyalty. Not to mention it's hardly fair to involve Her in your problems with Him."

Natasha would have been more affected by his spot-on criticism if she hadn't been distracted by his unintentional revelation. Loki as one person, split into aspects, rather than two people sharing an existence. It was an intriguing theory. "I suppose you're right," she admitted contritely, playing along to hide her reaction.

"Talk to Him about it," he suggested. It was such an obvious, common-sense solution, but maybe that was a good thing. Thor knew Loki better than anyone else. "For someone so skilled with lies, he hates to have anything kept from him," he pointed out.

She nodded, thinking. "But still, this mission. I think there's more to it."

"It will not be an easy thing for him, you know," Thor said softly, surprising her with the depth of his emotion. "He only recently had to face his darkest aspect, convincing himself he was a monster. Now that he is learning the truth, it will be difficult for him to assume the mantle of evil once more. Especially if, as I suspect, he may enjoy it."

Natasha's eyebrows shot up in a rare, unguarded moment of surprise. She had suspected this as well, but she never would have imagined Thor would understand.

He seemed darkly amused by her reaction. "I know what it is to crave the death of another," he said quietly. "I know the rage and joy of the kill, and once I longed to lose myself in it. My sins are not the same as my brother's, but similar enough. I told you truthfully that he has never taken a woman against her will. I never said that the idea did not appeal to him."

She swallowed, thinking of Clint's words. _You saw the way he looked at those photos from Poland. How do you know he doesn't want to do that to you? Because I've had a front-row seat to some of his favorite fantasies, and he seemed pretty keen on the idea at the time!_

Thor pushed his beans around on his plate. "There are some good men, like the Captain, who do not desire evil things. But most good men are defined by denying their baser natures. Is it more admirable to want evil and turn your back on it or to never desire it at all?"

That had to be the most philosophical thing she had ever heard Thor say. She thought, suddenly, of Tony. He had the capability and the resources to do great harm or great good. Given the choice, he had chosen good, and that was what made him a good person. His personality certainly wasn't the deciding factor.

"I tell you this because I do not wish for you to be alarmed, if I am correct. It would break his heart to see you fear him, I think," he reached out a massive hand, covering her slender fingers. It was not the sort of gesture she normally tolerated, but she knew he meant well. "He has been through hell, Lady Natasha, and I believe you are his salvation."

She stared down at their hands, feeling as if a great weight suddenly lay on her shoulders. "Thank you," she murmured.

Removing his hand, he sat back and smiled, unable to remain serious for long. "Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?" he bit into a chicken thigh.

She almost said no, and then remembered. "Actually, yes. Loki was discussing a number of different spells with me, and he listed one which he would not explain. Something about helmets?" she lied smoothly.

Thor nearly choked on his food, dropping the chicken and regarding her with wide eyes. "The Helm of Awe?"

Crap. So much for being casual about it. "That sounds right. He said it was related to the tracking spell that we used in Poland, and which we're going to use for this mission. I asked if there was a more permanent version, so we wouldn't have to keep asking Her to do it, and he just changed the subject." She shrugged, trying to feign a lack of importance.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Thor blinked rapidly. "The Helm of Awe is a spell which binds two people together, permanently. It is often done when a warrior marries a shield maiden, so that they will either both survive or perish together in any given battle."

Natasha frowned, trying to remember how Femme Loki had described it. _Energy of various forms can be transferred between the two ends, _she had said. "How does that work?"

"The spell connects the life-force of the couple, making them one," he gestured with his hands, lacing his fingers together. "If one of them is injured, healing energy is drained from the other, almost as if the wound is split between them. Too much injury, though, and both parties will die. It is considered a worth-while arrangement if neither person could bear to live without the other."

Suddenly she remembered her own response to the explanation of the spell being permanent, and Loki's subsequent dejected mood. She had not realized what a rejection her comment had been, and was surprised at how it had affected her. "Hmm. Well, I was just curious. It was the only one he didn't explain." Somehow she managed to keep her mask of disinterest in place, but she wasn't sure how long it would hold. "Well, I have to go find Tony, now." She stood and snagged a stuffed roll off of one of the plates.

"Hey, those are one of my favorites!" He protested with a laugh.

She took a big bite out of it, making it irrevocably hers. "Mine too," she teased back, and left.

Natasha walked into Tony's lab to a completely unexpected tableau. Tony and Loki stood in front of a whiteboard that was covered in diagrams and mathematical equations, mixed in with runes and alchemical symbols. Clint sat in the corner, scowling at them both.

"So if you assume that the blood has a quality of x and a quantity of y," Tony drew the figures out on the board, "you can expect the spell to have an efficacy of z?"

Loki shook his head and took the marker out of Tony's head. "There's a threshold for each variable. The quality has to be higher than A and the quantity higher than B. After a certain point, there's a ceiling, too. You can't get better than perfect, and you can only get so much blood from any given sacrifice-" he drew a few figures on the board.

"You can't use an unlimited number of sacrifices?" Tony asked.

"Well, there's the matter of availability, and you're often gambling on the quality, so the more you use, the more you risk. Not to mention the risk of discovery and subsequent consequences," Loki rolled his eyes.

"Naturally," Tony agreed.

Natasha sidled up to Clint, eyes narrowed at the board. "Are they doing what I think they're doing?"

Clint glanced at her and shook his head a little. "Only if you think that they're trying to develop a mathematical theory to explain blood magic."

"Right. What are you doing here?"

He met her glare head-on. "I'm not letting you go out there with just these two nut jobs," he gestured towards the two figures. "I may not like the mission, but I got your back, 'Tasha."

"Thanks." She sat on a stool next to him, and tried to make sense of the mess on the board. Loki and Tony were now arguing about "ambient energy" and how it related to the gravitational effect of the moon.

"I'm not an astrophysicist, Loki, I don't know how that stuff works," Tony lamented.

"I know an astrophysicist," Loki said cheerfully, "And she owes me a favor," he whipped out his phone.

At this point Natasha stood up. "Ok, before we drag Jane into this,"

Tony was sufficiently surprised. "Jane, as in Thor's Jane?"

Natasha glared at him. "Can we take care of more important things first?"

Loki grinned, surprised by how much he had gotten caught up in his conversation with Tony. He had purposely avoided him, not entirely comfortable with some of the undertones in the billionaire's relationship with his counterpart. But now he wondered if he had missed out—Tony was more than willing to set ethics aside (temporarily, of course) in order to reach true understanding. It was a kind of courage he respected.

"Sure!" Tony capped the marker and tossed it onto the ledge below the board. "I'm guessing our standard in-ear communication devices won't do?"

"I would prefer something invisible," Natasha admitted.

Tony's eyebrows went up. "Well, we aim to please." He opened a drawer, grabbed a pair of tweezers, and pulled out what looked like a thin wire. "How's this?" he asked, holding it out to her.

She put an open palm out under the tweezers, and he let it drop. "What is it?"

"It's a hyper resonant receiver," he explained. "Every sound wave that hits it, is communicated down the length of it, to the end where it's emitted. Kind of like fiber optics, but with sound instead of light. It's emitted at a very high frequency, too high for the human ear, which easily passes through most matter, where it can be picked up by this:" From the same drawer he took out a handheld radio, "Which takes it back down to normal levels."

Natasha stared at it. "It's not invisible," she complained. "But it's close."

He frowned at the criticism. "Actual invisibility is impossible."

Loki raised his eyebrows and Tony glared at him. "Go ahead. Tell me you actually make light pass through you, not around you," he dared.

He laughed. "Actually, it's much simpler than that. It's far easier to manipulate the minds around me so that they don't see me than to manipulate the light."

Tony tilted his head to the side. "So you'd still show up on camera?"

"No," he smiled. "The camera can be fooled in the same way."

Natasha cleared her throat, stalling the conversation.

"Right," Tony picked up the wire with the tweezers again. "The principle is the same, though. The receiver can be incorporated into a piece of jewelry or sewn into clothing and still function perfectly. So it will be visible, but they won't _see _it."

Loki nodded appreciatively, and Natasha made a sound of agreement. "I think clothing would be a better choice, here. Jewelry is too easy to lose in a fight."

"What if you lose your clothing?" Tony grinned.

Both Clint and Loki glared at him, but she just smiled. "Well, then I'll be in familiar territory. Have it put in a pair of jeans for me to wear. If nothing else, they're sturdy."

"Will do." Tony dropped the wire back in the box and shut the drawer. "So. Are you three actually going to play nice for this mission? Or are we going to be battling the green monster who's _not _my favorite lab buddy?"

Clint sighed, Natasha rolled her eyes, and Loki pressed his lips together in what might have been a disapproving look, but also could have been an attempt not to smile.

"I don't like the idea behind it," Clint said, eyeing Loki, "but if 'Tasha's up to it then I'm not going to make a fuss."

Loki, who had been drumming his fingers against his leg, suddenly stilled. "To be honest, I'm not really comfortable with the idea of you plying your wiles on this man. I don't like the thought of him touching you," He gave Natasha a serious look, which was quickly replaced with one of confusion from his counterpart.

"Oh, hey," Tony said, smiling. "We're going out on a mission and we need you to cast the tracker spell thingy again real quick."

"Ok..." Loki looked around her, trying to take her bearings. They were in one of the labs. "We'll need some privacy," she blushed a little and took Natasha's hand, leading her off to one of the private study rooms.

"Bow chicka bow-wow" Tony said under his breath, grinning.

"I will punch you, you know," Clint threatened.

Inside the study room, Loki ran through the spell in her mind. "Do you want it in the same place?" she asked absently.

Natasha frowned. "Well, I was hoping for something more discrete, but..."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "You don't know what won't be revealed in the course of the mission?" she guessed.

"Pretty much. You're not jealous, are you?" she asked. She knew the other Loki liked to watch her work, and his lie said as much, but she wasn't sure how She would feel about it.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm not jealous." She frowned a little, and tilted her head. "But I am worried, I guess. I'm not sure why." She shook her head, as though to clear it. "Anyway, what if we made the rune so it was always visible, somewhere that a person might have a tattoo?"

Natasha stared hard at Loki. Thor's theory that the two Lokis were one came to mind, and she wondered if the lines between them were starting to blur. Not only His concern for the mission, but also the concept of hiding something in plain sight had carried over the transition. "Ankle?" she suggested, betraying none of her thoughts.

Loki nodded, and gestured to the two chairs. They sat, and Loki pulled her foot up into her lap, removing Natasha's boot and sock before running a fingernail up her sole teasingly.

Natasha jumped, but then smiled at the playful look on Loki's face. Hand on her ankle, Loki closed her eyes and concentrated. When she lifted the hand, there was a small angular B right next to her ankle bone, where many stylish but conscientious girls got tattoos. This time, she could feel the connection between them, and wondered if the spell would grow stronger with every use.

"Loki, I feel like I owe you an apology," she said suddenly.

She looked up, surprised. "Why?"

"I feel..." Natasha sighed, it wasn't easy to put into words. "I feel like I'm using you," she admitted.

Loki patted her ankle and put it down on the floor, allowing Natasha to replace the sock and shoe. "Oh, I don't mind. I feel a lot better knowing you'll have my rune on you, in case you get split up."

"No, I mean..." she ran a hand through her russet curls, surprised to find how much they had grown. "I should never have gotten you involved in any problems I had with Him. It's not fair to you. Not that I didn't enjoy last week, but I feel bad that I was at least partially doing it to piss Him off."

"Oh, that." Loki stared down at her hands in her lap and sighed. "Well, you know how the song goes: 'Sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree?' I suppose I just fall into the second category."

Natasha did know the song, and knew what she meant. _Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you... _She reached out and brushed the backs of her fingers against Loki's cheek. "Still, it was wrong of me and I'm sorry."

Loki looked up. "Ok. I accept your apology. But I really don't mind," she smiled, but then her face fell.

The corner of Natasha's lip twitched. "It only works when someone believes you, MIlaya Moyna."

She sighed, but then gasped softly as Natasha leaned forward to kiss her. She was surprised further when the door to the study room opened to reveal Clint, who cussed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, but you'll have to wait, I only have a $10," he shouted back at Tony.

"I'll take it!" Tony replied.

Natasha sat back and grinned at the embarrassed expressions on both Loki and Clint's faces. Clint shook his head. "You heard the whole thing, didn't you? And threw the bet?"

"Yup," she smiled and licked her lips.

"You would think you'd be considerate enough to think that maybe _she _might not like an audience," he chided.

Loki raised an eyebrow and shot him a leer. "You can watch if you like, I don't mind," she said coyly.

Clint's eyes widened, and then he cussed once more as Loki switched. Loki's laughter could be heard all the way out in the hallway.

_**A/N: **__Absolutely nothing in this chapter was in my original outline, lol. But I love all of it! _

_If you're on Facebook, I'm now one of the administrators for a Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow page, under the alias Natalia. You can find it by searching for Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, with no spaces next to the slash._

_As always, I love each and every one of your reviews. Stay tuned next Saturday for Chapter 64: Desperate Measures (like we all didn't see that one coming lol)._


	64. Desperate Measures

_The theme song for this chapter is "Feel" by Matchbox Twenty._

_This chapter earns the Mature rating, and it's pretty dark. Just so you know._

* * *

**Chapter 64: Desperate Measures**

Loki and Natasha strolled down the busy city street, holding hands. A few weeks ago, Natasha would have found this part of the ruse uncomfortable, but now it felt natural. They chatted as they walked.

"I'm not saying we can't do _anything _of that sort, I just don't like the head games, ok?" Natasha smiled, it felt good to finally speak openly about it.

Loki's eyes swept the surrounding crowd, but they were all lost in their own lives and not listening. "Are you sure Barton doesn't have the radio on?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, he won't turn it on until you signal him. And anyway, if he's eavesdropping then it's his own fault if he hears something he doesn't like."

He smiled a little at that. "Alright, then. I promise not to tease you anymore," he murmured low next to her ear. Her hand tightened around his, and he suddenly pulled her into an alleyway. She recognized the shift in attitude and played along.

"Where are we going?" she giggled, putting just a hint of nervousness into the shallow sound.

"You'll see," he promised.

She followed him around a few corners. Out on the main streets, the evening had been alight with marquees and LED screens, here, it was nearly dark, with only a dim light coming from the sliver of azure sky that showed between the canyon of buildings. Satisfied that they were far enough away from the crowds, Loki pressed her up against a rough brick wall and crushed his mouth against hers.

"Hey," she gasped, when he moved to kiss her neck. "Knock it off," she joked, but now her voice was more serious.

"Oh, do shut up," Loki quipped irritably. "You can pull the school girl routine all you like, but I know what you _really _want," he growled into her hair.

"Luke, seriously. Stop," she pushed against his chest ineffectively.

"I said _shut up_," he said through clenched teeth, and shoved a hand up her shirt, thrusting his hips into hers roughly.

"N-no, wait," she pretended to resist him a little more forcefully, but her gasp at the feel of him, at the hard force of his thrusts even through the layers of clothing, was genuine. "You really are enjoying this, aren't you?" she breathed, remembering Thor's warning and carefully controlling her voice so it didn't betray her alarm.

Loki's eyes fluttered shut and he made a sound in low in his throat, almost a growl. "_Yes_," he hissed in her ear. "Now be a good girl and call for help before I make this ruse a reality." To emphasize his point, he slid his hand down the scarce gap between her skin and her jeans, running a finger along the lace edge of her panties.

"Help!" she shouted, before she lost her nerve. "Somebody help m-"

Her words were cut off as Loki clamped his hand over her mouth, all but silencing her. His other hand quickly undid the fly of her jeans, slipping a few fingers inside to stroke her most sensitive spot. Natasha's muffled cries quickly became muffled moans, and Loki chuckled, feeling the shift in the air as the spell was activated.

"Keep up the act, darling," he scolded her gently. "We're going to have an audience soon."

Closing her eyes, Natasha struggled to remember things she usually chose to forget. What it _really _felt like when someone unwanted touched you there. A face swam up from memory, her dance instructor from the Red Room, his overlarge and greedy hands squeezing her small, sensitive, new breasts. It was enough.

She bit Loki's hand-although not very hard-and he cursed, pulling it away. "Stop!" she shouted, and tried to shift herself so she could get a leg between his, but he had her pinned securely against the wall, the rough bricks scraping her back through her clothes.

"Shut your mouth, Natalie, or so help me I will shut it for you," Loki said, raising a threatening hand.

Before it could fly, his wrist was caught by another hand, strong and masculine.

"Didn't you hear the lady?" the perfectly polished voice said, and Loki turned to see the face that matched it, handsome, blonde, and impossibly close to the ideal. "She said _No_."

_Definitely glamour, _Loki thought, just before the man smacked him hard across the face with his walking stick. Although he could have easily dodged it, he chose to take the hit and sell it, flying back with the force of it.

"Ohmigod, Luke!" Natasha put her hands over her mouth, carrying the act easily. _That looked like it really hurt._

"He's not worth your concern, ma'am," her would-be rescuer said sincerely.

Natasha stared openly at him, and used this opportunity to study her quarry. He wore a full tuxedo and carried a fancy walking stick. _Who dresses like that to go walking_? she thought, struggling not to smile. Loki was right-this guy was definitely a fake. "Thank you," she said in a shaky voice, turning away from him a moment to shakily zip her fly back up.

"You bitch!" Loki spat, peeling himself off the gravel of the alleyway.

The blond man stepped forward between Loki and Natasha, brandishing his walking stick. "Leave, before I call the police," he threatened.

"Fuck you," Loki stood up, looked between the two of them, as if assessing the situation. "Fucking hell," he muttered, and quickly backed out of the alley, turning to run.

Once he was gone, the imposter turned and smiled at Natasha, who still appeared to be in shock.

"Thank you," she said again, because it looked like that's what he wanted her to say. She leaned against the wall, catching her breath and starting to tremble.

"You are welcome," he said benevolently, and gave a little bow. "My name is Trent Ashburn," he announced.

Even if she hadn't already known it was a fake name, she could have told from the care and pride in his voice when he said it. "Natalie Rushman," she replied, much more convincingly. "Oh god. Luke, he-" she turned on the waterworks, as easy as flipping a switch after all these years.

"Shh, it's ok," Trent closed the distance between them and enfolded her in an awkward hug. "May I offer you a ride home?" he suggested.

Natasha sniffed and nodded. "I live in Queens," she said absently.

He stepped back and offered her his arm, which she took with a shaky laugh. "You're such a gentleman," she observed.

Trent smiled and led her out to the main street, where an impressive black town car already waited. "We do exist, I assure you. Please do not take the actions of that ruffian as a representation of all my sex."

Natasha wiped the tears off her face and got into the car, sliding along the supple leather seats. Inwardly, she assessed his strange way of speaking. It was unlike the way Thor or Loki spoke, where the complex words and patterns of speech tumbled out effortlessly. Rather, it sounded very put-on, and reminded her of kids who played fantasy-based role playing games.

He got into the car after her and shut the door. "Queens," he told the driver, turning to her.

She rattled off the address for one of the SHIELD safe houses not currently in use. The driver nodded, and then the dark glass partition slid up to give them privacy. As the car pulled out into traffic, she wrapped her arms around herself and shivered, doing a fair imitation of shock.

"Here," Trent leaned forward and opened a compartment to show a well-stocked crystal bar. He pulled out a glass and a bottle, put some ice in the glass, and poured several fingers of dark amber liquid. "This will steady your nerves," he held it out to her.

_Really? _Natasha thought as she took it with shaking hands. _Do they really fall for something so obvious? _"I don't usually drink," she said warily.

"It's alright. You'll be home soon," he smiled, and there was something not quite right about it.

_This guy is seriously creepy,_ she thought, and looked down into the drink. _It's probably drugged, which won't work on me. Oh well, I guess I can pretend to be knocked out. _She took a delicate sip, and coughed meekly at the strong peat whiskey.

"It's easier if you drink it all at once," he suggested.

"Ok," she said uncertainly, and downed the whole glass. Trent looked suitably impressed, but watched her carefully.

_It must kick in quickly_, she thought, and then frowned as a wave of dizziness washed over her. As the interior of the cabin started to spin, she belatedly remembered Clint's objection at the meeting.

_Natasha, this is magic we're talking about. You might be invulnerable to poison and drugs, but..._

"Oh, shit," she mumbled as the world went black.

* * *

A few blocks away, Loki hopped into the jeep that Clint was driving, having activated the beacon for him to be picked up.

"They're in a black town car," Loki said quickly, and rattled off the license plate.

"I see it," Clint agreed, and maneuvered his way through traffic so he could follow at a good distance. With the other hand, he was fiddling with the radio that Tony had provided.

"Anything?" Loki asked.

Clint scowled. "They chatted for a bit, but now she's gone quiet. Sounded like he offered her a drink."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "You think he drugged her?"

If possible, Clint's scowl deepened. "Tasha is usually immune to that sort of thing, so she could be faking it."

Loki cursed. He hoped she had faked drinking it, too. Who knew what sort of potion this man could have given her? He rubbed his sore jaw, and matched Clint scowl for scowl. "Just follow them."

"Hey, I'm the commanding officer here," Clint jabbed.

Loki looked at him sidelong. "Remind me again why I have to take orders from you?"

"Because as far as espionage goes, you're still a total noob. And," here Clint grinned, "because payback's a bitch."

Loki sighed. This was going to be a _very _long stakeout.

* * *

_**A/N: **__This chapter was surprisingly hard to write, which is weird because I was really looking forward to writing it. It was difficult to make clear what was the ruse and what was genuine, especially since the lines are a little blurred. I hope it came out clearly enough._

_As always, thanks for your reviews, and I'll see you on Wednesday for Chapter 65: Hocus Pocus._


	65. Hocus Pocus

_The theme song for this chapter is "Scarlet" by In This Moment, which is kind of my new favorite band. They get a bit too screamy at points, but this song doesn't._

* * *

**Chapter 65: Hocus Pocus**

Clint and Loki sat staring at the warehouse the town car had led them to. The jeep was parked in an alley which afforded them a view of the entrance. Two men stood guard outside it, and Clint was watching them through his binoculars.

"I don't like this," Loki murmured at last.

"What, being stuck here with me? Not really my favorite hobby either," he bitched.

"No," Loki frowned, trying to assess the link between him and Natasha without the use of his magic. "Something feels off about the spell. I feel sluggish, like it's draining me."

Clint lowered the binoculars and gave Loki his full attention. "Why would it do that?"

"If she is truly unconscious, the connection may be pulling energy to help her wake up," he reasoned. "I could tell more if I switched, but She doesn't much care for appearing in the middle of a mission."

He shrugged. "Can't much blame her, besides, I would know you were lying." He sighed. "Look, even if she really is knocked out, you gotta trust that she can take care of herself. She's way more experienced at this than either of us put together. She can get out of anything, trust me."

The corner of Loki's mouth twitched, but he resisted the urge to relieve Clint of that illusion. "I still don't like it," he grumbled instead. "It goes against everything in me to let her go in there unprotected."

Clint stared at him, surprised at the depth of emotion in Loki's voice. It was an emotion he could relate to well.

Before he could speak, though, the radio crackled and they heard Trent issue a series of orders that neither of them much liked the sound of.

* * *

_Snick, snick, snick. _The sound was the first thing Natasha was aware of. _Snick, snick. _It sounded familiar, and she tried to name it. The next thing she was aware of was the brush of cold metal against her leg. _Snick, snick, snick. Scissors, _she thought, and opened her eyes just a little. The room around her was still blurry, but she saw in front of her a small altar with a dish of black liquid on it. She could feel, now, that her hands were bound together above her head. Whoever had done it was an idiot, because her wrists were touching instead of tied separately. Given enough time, she could get out of it easily. Unfortunately, her ankles were also tied to something, apart, and if she dropped she might hurt herself badly. She tried to pull on them to see how tightly, when the _snicking _sound stopped.

"Awake, are we?" came a voice. The inflections were the same as Trent's, but the tone was all wrong. The smooth tenor had risen to a creaky alto.

She opened her eyes fully, and saw before her the pimply, bespectacled face of someone who might have been Trent Ashburn's little brother. Maybe... if all the good genes had gone to one brother and... Natasha stopped the wandering path of her mind, trying to focus. It was then that she realized where the sound of scissors was coming from. Her shirt and bra were missing, and there was a cut halfway up the left side of her pants. She let her fear and confusion show through - after all, it had worked on Loki - and played it up a little.

"Trent?" she asked.

He made an odd snorting sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh. "The name's Pierce. Kyle Pierce. Most people just call me Pierce."

_Who does he think he is, James Bond? _she wondered. _Because he sounds more like Forrest Gump._

"Trent is my alter-ego. Wearing his face is fun, but it itches." As if to illustrate, he reached up and scratched at a zit. "Appearances can be deceiving, you know." After delivering this earth-shattering revelation, he bent down and resumed cutting up her pant leg. "You're lucky. Most of the girls don't wake up until I'm done. You get to see the fireworks show. Not that you'll remember any of this, of course."

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"It's part of the spell. Don't worry, they go back together when it's done. But I get to enjoy the view in the meantime," he waggled his eyebrows at her.

_Ugh_, Natasha thought, and tried to see how her feet were bound, but Pierce was in the way. As he continued to cut the fabric of her jeans, she realized that he was going to cut through the waistband-and therefore the wire Stark had made for her. She had to get as much info out of him as quickly as she could.

"Why are you doing this?" she let her voice sound panicked.

"You know those explosions in New York last month?" He glanced up to see her expression. "My work," he crowed.

_Wow. This kid is an idiot. How the hell did he plan all this himself?_

"Do you know how many places I applied to work? Fourteen! And none of them would take me. I'm going to MIT next fall, and I need the money, you know? Well, not now. Now I can get all the money I want. But that still didn't give them the right to snub me." By now he had finished cutting all the way up one side, and bent down to start on the other.

_Eбать-копать! _she thought. _Fourteen?! _Here they had been thinking that he had already attacked all of his intended targets, but now she realized he must be limited to five each time. Looking at the altar before her, she spotted a pentagram symbol on it, with small stones on each point. Two of them were red, and the other three clear.

Before she could think of anything else to ask him, there was a louder _snick _as Pierce cut through the waistband of her jeans - and the wire.

* * *

Out in the jeep, Loki and Clint cringed as there was a loud squeal, and then the radio went silent.

"What was that?" Loki asked.

"Wire must have been damaged somehow," Clint reasoned.

Loki did not like the sound of that. "I should go in," he argued.

"What, and those guards are just going to let you by?" he rolled his eyes.

"I'll think of something," Loki argued, getting irritated.

"You can't lie," Clint reminded him unnecessarily.

"I can still bluff, and," he reached into the back seat and pulled out his walking stick. "I can always use this, instead," he suggested with a grin.

The archer seemed to waver for a moment, but hesitated. "Not yet. Not until we're sure she needs our help."

Loki sighed, exasperated, and stared up at the roof of the car.

* * *

Pierce finished pulling the remains of Natasha's panties away, and grinned. "Good to see the carpet matches the drapes," he joked.

_The sooner I can get my hands around his scrawny neck... _she thought to herself. He was leering at her and for a moment she thought he might actually touch her. A sound of rustling paper came from behind her, and he scowled.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. No touching the sacrifices," he whined, and turned away from her. Only now could she see that her feet were tied to a bar which stood up from the ground by two supports. It would not work well if she wriggled her arms free.

He said a few words over the altar. They sounded like Latin, and even though she did not understand them, Natasha could tell he was pronouncing them badly. She rolled her eyes, once more amazed that such a loser could have successfully committed such a heinous act. With another few words, Pierce turned back, though, a knife in his hand and a strange glint in his eye, she thought maybe he was just insane. That would explain it.

"Now," he grinned, pointing the tip of the knife into her navel, where a scar would not show. "This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me," he joked.

Natasha resisted the urge to laugh. If she had a dollar for every schmuck who said that before torturing her, she could take Stark out to dinner. The laughter inside her died, though, as she felt the point of the knife slowly start to dig into her skin. It wasn't very sharp, she realized with dismay.

* * *

Suddenly, Loki doubled over, clutching his stomach.

"What?" Clint asked, alarmed.

Loki looked up at the warehouse, then at Clint. "Someone has just performed blood magic on her," he said in a low voice.

It was all Barton needed to hear. "Go," he said.

* * *

Once the channel in the middle of the knife had filled with her blood, Pierce had turned, uttered some more hocus pocus, and let the blood fall into the dish. At first, nothing happened. He held his arms outstretched, as if expecting something spectacular. Instead, the black liquid started to bubble and smoke. He snatched out the stone, which was now black as well, and turned.

"You little whore," he said accusingly. "So, you'll put out for one guy, but not the other, huh?" He waggled a finger at her.

Natasha said nothing. What could she, in the face of such flawed logic?

"No matter." He chucked away the black stone and pulled another clear one from a container beneath the altar, putting it back in it's spot. "I'll just find something else to do with you," he looked her up and down, leering again.

Once again, it sounded as if paper was being rustled around behind her, and this time Pierce went to investigate with a sigh. "No, that one's boring," he whined, as if speaking to someone else. "Can't I just fuck her? What's the point of being a sorcerer if I can't get some? You said if I did what you asked I could have any girl I want. Well I want _her._"

Natasha couldn't help but think he sounded like a child whining for candy. Inwardly, she dared him to get close enough to try it, and see if he didn't get a surprise.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit about conserving my sexual energy again. It's bad enough you won't let me fap, now you-" he stopped mid sentence and she could hear pages being turned.

Was there someone else in the room with them? Natasha listened closely but could only hear Pierce's mouth breathing, only his clothes rustling as he moved. As far as she could tell, they were alone.

"Hmmm... that does look interesting," Pierce said grudgingly.

* * *

Outside, Loki sauntered up to the guards. "Excuse me, but could I use your telephone?" he asked, laughing. "I left my cell at home, and I really need to contact my girlfriend." There. All of that was true.

The guards turned to face him, but said nothing. How could they, when their identical, lumpy faces had no mouths? _Golem, _Loki thought, and twirled his walking stick. "Oh well, I'd rather kill you anyway," he sneered, and slammed the ball bearing down on the pavement, coming back up with naginata in hand.

Recognizing him as a threat, the golem stepped forward to attack. Loki just smiled. He'd been itching for a fight for some time.

* * *

Pierce held the knife poised, the tip his tongue sticking out between his lips in concentration as he squinted at something behind her. "Ok, so it's up..." he sliced the skin over her sternum in a shallow cut, and she hissed in pain. "...then across..." he shifted his grip on the knife to make another cut perpendicular to the first, and she bit down on a whimper. The blindfold was not helping.

He grinned. "Oh yeah, you think you're a toughie, don't you?" he teased. "Just you wait. This is a _very _complicated sigil." He placed the tip of the blade for another cut, when suddenly an alarm started to blare. He jumped, poking her with the knife badly.

"Shit," his eyes darted around the room. "Oh shit," he repeated. He dropped the knife, darted behind her, and she could hear a large book being slammed shut and then picked up. The door in front of her was unlocked, and then opened. Without another word, the creep left.

"Well great," Natasha sighed, and began the process of trying to get her feet on top of the bar they were tied to.

* * *

Loki had decapitated twelve golem so far, and started to worry. The resources necessary to create an army of the clay figures were considerable. Fortunately, they seemed to have been made recently, as they still held some moisture. If he could get a hold of them, he could freeze them solid. But it took time which he did not have. The burning in his chest told him something unpleasant had happened to Natasha. Someone was going to pay for that.

With a cry of frustration, Loki flipped over one of the guards, and began to run. He could fight them on the way out, he reasoned. He had only the tug of the spell to guide him towards Natasha, which told him a general direction, but not how to get through the maze of hallways. At last he came to a reinforced door, slightly ajar. He threw himself through it, turned, and slammed it shut, locking it.

"Loki?" Natasha asked hopefully. She had felt him coming closer, the rune on her ankle warm under the ropes with the echoes of his anger.

Loki turned and felt his breath catch. For a moment, he could not move. Then he cursed, and rushed forward, carefully avoiding the altar. He used the naginata to cut through the ropes binding her feet to the bar, and then dropped it so he could reach up and lift her arms off the hook she hung from. She fell against him, and he clutched her tightly and sunk to the floor.

"Loki." It wasn't a question this time, and he pulled back far enough to see her face, lifting the blindfold. "Thanks," she said, and held up her hands. "Help me with these?" Her voice was only a little shaky.

He began working at the sloppy knots, cursing under his breath as he did so. Natasha chose to remain silent, surprised by his anger. Once her hands were free, Loki's cool fingers soothed the irritated skin, numbing the pain as they turned slightly blue. She sighed in releif, and Loki's eyes flitted to the half-drawn sigil between her breasts. The cuts had already begun to heal.

"Are you alright?" he asked, voice rough with emotion.

"Sure," she joked. "Never better."

His hands had returned to their normal color, and he slid them around to her back. Leaning down, he carefully kissed the angry lines, smearing them a little and hating himself for loving the feel of her blood against his lips.

Natasha buried her hands in his hair. This was not the time or place, she knew, but she could feel through the link how badly he wanted to make her his again. She wanted it, too, wanted to erase the memory of Pierce's sweaty palms with the touch of Loki's strong, subtle fingers. But she knew it was only a matter of time before someone - possibly Clint - tried to break down that door.

As if in response to her thoughts, there was a loud bang on the door. Loki jerked his head up and glared at it, nearly growling.

"Loki, we have to get out of here," she said softly. "Do you have a plan?"

He stood slowly, looking from the door, to the altar, to her, and then back to the door, coming full circle. "Yes," he lied.

* * *

_**A/N: **Fun fact: The term "Hocus Pocus" was originally a blasphemous mispronunciation of the Latin words spoken by a priest to turn the bread into the body of Christ during the Eucharist, "Hoc est corpus meum." It likely became associated with magic in the medieval period, when satanic rituals and other "dark arts" were largely based on desecration of the Eucharist (and not, as is popularly believed now, on Pagan rituals)._

_I want to say thank you again to the several people who left me very thoughtful and detailed reviews in the last couple of days. This story went down in ratings pretty sharply (which means that several people actually un-followed the story) and I was pretty bummed. But then you guys came along and made it better!_

_Right now I'm super busy trying to study for an insurance exam so I can start a new job in a week. My buffer is almost nonexistent at this point, and I don't have a lot of time to build it back up. I may have to go to a once-a-week posting schedule, at least temporarily. But I think since I've been loyally posting twice a week since November this is probably excusable._

_Again, thank you for all your wonderful comments!_


	66. In a Pinch

_Theme song: "Titanium" by Rihanna. _

* * *

**Chapter 66: In A Pinch**

"Augh! What did I say about switching during missions?!" Loki demanded. She turned around, saw Natasha on the floor, and blanched. "Oh, shit," she breathed. She licked her lips, and then touched them, staring at the blood on her fingertips in horror.

Natasha gave her a weary smile. "That was pretty much His reaction, too," she joked.

Loki blinked. "Then... He didn't..."

She scowled. "Oh, hell no. I would have kicked his ass long before it got to that," she reassured her.

She was about to ask why she hadn't kicked the ass of whoever _had _done it, when the door visibly dented under a resounding strike. "Ok, first things first," Loki said, rushing over to the door and putting her hands against it. It changed in color, darkening to the rough black of wrought iron. "That should hold them for a while," she nodded to herself. Turning, she gave Natasha a sympathetic look and snapped her fingers.

Natasha looked down to find herself dressed in her combat uniform, armed and fully loaded. She instantly felt far better. "You're the best, Loki," she said gratefully.

Loki smiled. "I try." She walked up to the altar, studying it carefully. "Looks like he's already found another two victims," she said, picking up the red stones.

"Can you undo the spell?" Natasha asked, taking comfort in the habitual action of checking all her weapons.

"Possibly." She tucked the stones into a pocket carefully. "He can't do anything to them without these, at least."

Natasha nodded. "Ok, then we need an escape route." She looked up for ventilation shafts, but they were all too small to crawl through.

Meanwhile, Loki had been staring through the door with a confused expression. She closed her eyes and muttered a few words. When she opened them again, she looked surprised. "We are the only humans in this building," she said, surprised.

"Then who's trying to knock down the door?"

Loki walked to it, and frowned. "Golem. They've found something to use as a battering ram. There are over five dozen in the building, and they're smarter than I would expect." She narrowed her eyes. "Whoever did this has a lot of power and resources."

Once again, Natasha's suspected that Pierce was not working alone. "What are their weaknesses?" she asked.

"Fire, decapitation, blunt weapons and lightning," Loki listed off, and shook her head. "Too bad Thor's not here," she lamented.

Natasha fished a couple silver disks out of her band of pouches. "Will taser disks do?" she suggested.

Loki's face lit up. "Yes! But..." she sobered, "We're going to need a lot of them." She took the disks and began the laborious process of duplicating them.

"Where's Barton?" Natasha asked, restless without a task, the continuing sound from the door rattling her already frayed nerves.

"Last I'd heard from him, he'd seen someone leave the building, and was going to follow them. He'd already called for backup," she rattled off, and then froze, looking up at Natasha. "How do I know that?" she asked.

Natasha stared at her a moment, and shook her head. "I don't know," she lied. "Maybe because you need to." _Or maybe Thor was right_, she added silently.

Loki shook her head as if to clear it, and finished duplicating the disks. "Ok, here's what we're going to do." She handed the disks back to Natasha, and a diagram of the warehouse appeared over her open palm. She indicated the shortest route out. "I can knock out this lot behind the door," she explained, "But then I'm done for magic."

"I can get us the rest of the way," Natasha said, her voice sounding far more confident than she felt.

"Ok, when you're ready, open the door," she instructed, standing a few paces back from it, "and get behind it."

She nodded, and positioned herself at the doorknob. She heard it unlock, and yanked it open. The golem, surprised by this turn of events, froze for a moment. It was all the advantage Loki needed. She held up her hands, and a torrent of yellow-green fire blazed forth from them, incinerating the entire group that had clustered around the door. When it ended, there was nothing left but smoking clumps of charred dirt.

Natasha darted out from behind the door, taser disks at the ready. As she ran into the hallway, checking corners, Loki followed wearily. They met with several groups of golem—fortunately, their tendency to travel together made them easier targets for the tasers, which had a decent area of affect. Still, she had nearly run out when they finally reached the exit.

As they emerged, they heard a curse and a small explosion went off not twenty feet from them.

"Thank God you're a redhead, Tasha, I nearly killed you both!" Clint called. He was standing in the jeep. "Hop in, backup has an ETA of 30 seconds, we can let them take care of the rest of it!"

By the time they reached the jeep, they could hear the sounds of the cavalry arriving. A few more golem came out of the building, and Clint fired another explosive arrow at them.

"I see you figured out they're weak to fire," Natasha complimented.

Clint smiled wryly, "Wasted an arrow in the process, but I figure if it works on Loki, it'll work on anything. No offense," he turned to look at her.

She nodded, clearly exhausted. "Tell them that concussive rounds and tasers will also work," she gasped.

"Sure thing," Clint radioed her information, started the car, and peeled out just as the first response vehicles rushed into the parking lot.

"Well," Loki sighed as the wind whipped her hair around her face, "that was fun," she smiled.

The smile was quickly replaced by her counterpart's frown. He turned to Natasha and looked her over with a mixture of concern and disapproval. "Barton, go to the nearest medical facility," he ordered.

Clint was about to remind Loki who gave the orders here, when Natasha spoke up. "That's not necessary, Loki. I'm half-healed already," she said wearily.

Loki caught Clint's eye in the rear-view mirror, his expression communicating what he thought of Natasha's protests.

"You ok, 'Tasha?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Natasha said curtly. She did not like to be fussed over.

That decided it for Clint. He gave Loki a subtle nod, and changed course for the SHIELD medical center.

To distract her, Loki confronted her. Normally he would have waited until they were alone, but he sensed that Clint would be his ally in this, if nothing else. "What happened?" he demanded. "Why would you allow it to go that far?"

Natasha shifted uncomfortably. "I was compromised. The drink he gave me had something in it I'm not immune to."

Loki slowly took hold of her shoulders and shook her, albeit gently. "What the devil were you thinking, woman? Alchemy is not like poison, it works on your essence, not your physical form!"

"I didn't know that!" She nearly shouted. Her expression remained stubborn, but he could see how fragile the mask of it was. She was equally shaken by the experience.

He pulled her against him, tightly but carefully. "Don't _ever _do that to me again," he growled.

Natasha sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Ok, I promise to try not to get captured by some crazy wizard and made part of a sacrificial ritual," she joked.

Loki was not amused, and only held her tighter.

In the front seat, Clint regarded Loki's reflection with new-found respect. If he had tried to tell off Natasha, she would have told him to mind is own fucking business and let her do her job. It galled him a little that she would listen to Loki and not him, but if she listened at all he was happy.

* * *

After a brief stop at the medical center—where the doctors announced that given her advanced healing abilities, Natasha would recover fine on her own—Natasha had given Clint and Loki the slip under the pretense of filing all the necessary paperwork. Loki had tried to object, but Clint gave him a warning look. When she had left, he explained that she always needed a little privacy after missions to sort things out. Since Loki had similar tendencies, he let it go.

He did not see her again until the debriefing meeting the next day. Loki was shocked to find that the mission was considered "successful."

"All agents survived with only minor injury, new information was acquired, hostile plots were averted, an enemy base was captured, and the target is now on the run. What part of that is a failure?" Fury asked in a tone that dared Loki to contradict him.

Loki ground his teeth and said nothing.

"There are a few aspects of the mission I wish to discuss here, which are included in my report, in order to consult Acting Agent Loki's expertise on the subject," Natasha stated. She was all business, every bit the Black Widow, and Loki wondered if that were good or bad.

Fury gestured for her to continue, and Natasha turned to Loki. "During my interrogation," she insisted on referring to her torture as such, "the subject seemed to consult something outside of my view. It sounded like a book. I believe he was hallucinating, as he seemed to be conversing with it. Does this fit anything magical that you know of?" she asked.

Loki's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "It's entirely possible he has a grimoire in his possession," he theorized. "They are rare, but it would explain the amount of power and resources he displayed. Grimoires are very powerful magical items, and the extended use of one by someone lacking a suitable will could very well damage his mental state."

"So we're dealing with a mentally damaged sorcerer with a very powerful magical weapon?" Fury asked, sounding less than thrilled.

"It sounds that way," Natasha agreed.

Fury's one eye flicked to Loki. "Well, at least we're on familiar ground then," he drawled.

The corner of Natasha's lips twitched, but Loki just scowled. "There was one other thing, although it's more a matter of curiosity, but it might be important, I don't know," she added. "In his ramblings, Pierce mentioned something about sexual activity being detrimental to magical ability," she gave Loki an amused and questioning look. "Do you know anything about that?"

Loki sat back in his seat, thinking. "It is true that the sexual act drains a small amount of energy from a man. It's not the sort of thing I've ever had to worry about, as it's an inconsequential percentage of my normal reserves. However, if my counterpart's limited capacity is indicative of humans in general, then yes, it would likely be a concern for him."

Natasha tilted her head. "You said it has this affect on a man. Women are exempt from it?" she asked. She didn't like to think she was damaging Femme Loki's abilities in any way.

He smiled. "Where do you think the energy _goes_?" he asked. "There is a specific school of magic, practiced only by women, which draws on this energy as it's source. Which is one of the many reasons I have always avoided The Enchantress, Amora. It's one of her specialties."

"Sex magic?" Natasha sounded intrigued. She remembered where she had heard Amora's name before. "Was Lorelei a practitioner as well?"

"No, she hadn't devoted as much efforts to her education as her sister. But she could have, with training," Loki said thoughtfully.

Clint cleared his throat noisily. "Did the back-up team recover anything important not covered in Agent Romanoff's report?" he asked Fury directly. It was the first he had spoken in the meeting.

Fury seemed relieved to get back on topic. "No. The facility was entirely run by the magical constructs. There were personal quarters as well, but they were devoid of anything telling. The contents of the building have been catalogued and put in secure storage."

"How long do we have before he's able to strike again?" Clint asked.

Loki spoke up. "It will take him a month or two to replace the material components of the spell, as well as set up new hunting grounds. Then an additional month to collect new victims and trigger the spell."

Fury nodded. "That gives us some time. Dr. Bryardie's profile analysis suggests that Pierce will go underground rather than flee, so we won't need to expand our search area much. We will release Pierce's identity and a sketch of his Glamourie to the press, naming him and Troy Ashburn as suspected accomplices in the bombing. We'll also run a PSA reminding girls not to accept drinks from strangers unless they are directly handed to them by a state-licensed bartender."

Natasha ignored the looks all three of them gave her, staring straight on.

"Agents Barton and Romanoff, you will investigate Kyle Pierce's background, see if you can locate the other twelve businesses he applied to and use our resources to augment their security," he ordered, and they nodded. "Acting Agent Loki, you have been given clearance to examine the items recovered from the warehouse, to ascertain if they contain any pertinent information we have missed, as long as you bring along another agent with the proper clearance."

Loki pursed his lips a little. "I believe I will leave that to my counterpart, as she will be better able to detect any magical resonances in the items."

"Of course," Fury agreed. "She has the same clearance and privileges as you. If there are no more questions?" he paused, "Then you are dismissed."

Everyone got up from the table and headed towards the door. Loki waited until Clint and Fury had left, catching Natasha's arm to hold her back.

"If you ask me how I'm feeling, I swear to god I will punch you," Natasha warned.

Loki lifted an eyebrow. "That's a bit of a double-standard, isn't it?"

She smiled tightly. "Not if we're sparring," she argued.

He let his eyes roam over her in a look that was both appreciative and assessing. Every single muscle in her body was held taut. "Do you want to spar?" he suggested lightly. "You look a little tense." He slid his hands up her arms to knead her shoulders a little. "Or maybe something else?" he smiled seductively.

Natasha sighed heavily, her eyes closing at the exquisite sensation his deft fingers elicited. Then suddenly, she snapped them back open, looking at him carefully. "Okay. Sparring, then sex, then I have work to do," she said stubbornly.

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to go back to the apartment, or...?"

She smiled. "The gym showers have locks on them," she said suggestively.

He smiled back. "Well then." He gestured for her to lead the way.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Well, ladies and gents, I have finally run out of buffer chapters. Unless I write another chapter by Wednesday (which is highly doubtful, because I take a huge exam on Tuesday and start a new job on Wednesday) there will be no update then. I will do my damnedest to get you a new chapter by next Saturday, though. I apologize for the interruption, but sometimes all the preparation in the world is not enough. _

_I've gotten a lot of great reviews lately, and they have really kept me going. I have a lot of inspiration built up, and when I get the time I think I'll probably crank out the rest of this story pretty quickly. It's just finding that time that's difficult at the moment. I hope you all understand._


	67. Naming Names

_Sorry it's late, but I just got it finished... it's still Saturday here! lol._

_Theme song is "End of All Days" by 30 Seconds to Mars, just 'cause I like the sound of it._

* * *

**Chapter 67: Naming Names**

Natasha sighed and opened another energy drink. They were the good stuff, the really hard to find ones that actually had decent flavors, but after five even they were losing their effect. She would kill for an entire pot of Loki's chocolate tea, but that would involve going home. If she went home, she might relax. If she relaxed, she might fall asleep...

She shook her head, clearing away the sudden wave of exhaustion. She couldn't sleep now, she had too much work to do. With a smirk, she mildly regretted her activities of the day before. Loki hadn't held back, either on the sparring floor, or later in the shower, and she was glad of it. She could remember the feel of his body, still heated from their fighting, pressing her into the cold tile wall. It had been amazingly cathartic, but it had significantly drained her.

Pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes a moment, she straightened her back and returned to the arduous task of filing through the application forms submitted to all of uptown Manhattan's retail locations in the past six months. She had to make herself useful.

* * *

After the mission, Loki felt somewhat useless. There seemed little for him to do, at least until he switched. Both Natasha and Clint were very busy with the investigation, but between Clint's reassurances and Natasha's enthusiastic sparring and screwing session, he wasn't terribly worried that she was avoiding him. If she had shied away from him on the mat, or attacked vindictively, he would have worried. But instead she had fought with him on equal terms, as she had not since she had proved herself capable of defeating him. It was good to stop pretending and guessing and just lose yourself in training.

Afterwards... a sly smile broke over Loki's face. If he had any doubt left as to how they stood, that had cleared it. She had been greedy, hungry for his touch, and he had given her all she could take. And yet...

And yet, he still worried. They had made good progress before this in exploring the darker side of Loki's passions, but it had been nothing more than a fun game for her. Now, he wondered if she would see it the same way. Could he bring himself to tie her up again? To bring himself down to the level of her attacker? He laughed darkly. _That _was not likely the problem. The real question was, if she no longer desired it, could he stop himself? He didn't know.

So he had pushed these issues aside and spent the weekend playing the piano, relaxing, and spending time with his future sister-in-law. Somehow, Jane had a way of making him feel as if he were a better person than he thought, and it was addictive. He could see why Thor loved her so much-he wanted, more than anything, to be _good_, after all-and in Jane's eyes, he was every bit the hero. Loki, by the same token, was given the greater benefit of the doubt, and as far as she was concerned, a clean slate. It was more than he could have asked for. And of course Darcy's witty presence kept the entire arrangement from getting too awkward.

So it was that on Sunday evening, Loki realized with more surprise than regret that he would have to switch without seeing Natasha again. Perhaps his counterpart would know better how to handle the situation. He had never been one to try to solve others' problems, and had little skill at it. But as he relinquished his control and moved back in his mind to watch, he wished, for the first time, that he did.

* * *

Loki sighed and looked down at the surprisingly detailed note her counterpart had left her. It seemed that He was very frustrated at his need to summon her during the mission, and sought to remedy the situation by filling her in on everything that had transpired while she was gone.

She frowned as she read over the part where He advised her not to interrupt Natasha in her work. It sounded to her like she had been avoiding Him, but He assured her she was not. It didn't sit right with her. She thought she should go to Natasha and make sure she was okay. But she didn't want to mess things up between the three of them, and she actually had work to do.

So, tucking the letter back in her pocket, she exited the elevator on one of the lowest levels of Stark Tower, far underground. Agent Sitwell was sitting at a desk in front of a locked door, and he looked very surprised to see her.

"I'm sorry, Miss Loki, but this is secure storage, and you don't have clearance-" He stood up and started to say.

"Oh, but I do," she smiled, knowing that it looked intimidating. When he cringed, it gave her an unfamiliar surge of satisfaction. She did not like this man.

He frowned, and turned to his computer, entering a series of commands. When the correct screen opened, he frowned deeper and then looked back at her.

"Please," Loki said in a mockingly reassuring voice, "Do call commander Fury if you like. I assure you I have the proper clearance."

She watched his face twitch as he wavered between the danger of admitting Loki and the risk of being reprimanded by Fury. Duty won over, and he picked up the phone. She pretended not to listen to the ensuing butt-chewing, but it was difficult when Fury yelled so loud.

"But sir," Sitwell persisted, showing more backbone than she thought he possessed. "Artifact 18..."

"Is not in the area that she will be working," she could faintly hear Fury respond. "Take her to the proper area, show her the materials, and post a guard if it makes you feel better," he taunted.

"Yes, sir," he sighed. He hung up, and gestured for Loki to come around the desk. Placing his thumb on a sensor, he stood still and waited for his retina to be scanned. The machine accepted his entry, and the door cracked open.

Whatever materials SHIELD had used to keep the contents of secure storage from being scanned, it also blocked magical energy. As soon as the door was opened, Loki could feel the pull of the items within. But there was something different...

Taking a few steps in, Loki stopped and tested the air. Something was calling her. Something chillingly familiar. Her head turned slowly but unerringly to the left, and she saw Sitwell begin to sweat. Her right palm itched with memory, and images flashed blue behind her eyes. Faces, explosions, death. She closed her eyes and swallowed. Her scepter was in here.

_No_, she thought, and whether the thought had come from her or Him, she was unsure. But she knew it was right. Opening her eyes, she made a subtle gesture, shielding herself from the effects of the scepter. _This was a test_, she realized. As she turned to gesture that Sitwell should lead the way, she wondered if Fury would ever stop testing her. Probably not.

Sitwell, for his part, looked vastly relieved. He took her to the area that held the effects they had found in Pierce's warehouse, and left her to work without a guard. She rummaged about the boxes, pulling things out and arranging them. In addition to the altar and various paraphernalia, there was rumpled bedding, and a collection of fantasy paperbacks.

"Jarvis, can you hear me down here?" she said, looking up to the ceiling.

"Certainly, Miss Loki. May I be of assistance?" the polite AI responded.

"Yes," she sighed, studying the symbols on the altar. "I'm not familiar with these markings, I believe they come from a school of magic I have not learned," she reasoned. "Can you pull up information on the different theories popular here on Midgard?"

"Er..." although artificial, Jarvis managed to sound rather uncomfortable. "I do not possess access to such records," he apologized, pausing for a moment. "Until very recently, magic was believed to be outside the realm of reality by modern science," he explained. "I can provide you with a variety of legends and fictional sources, but I cannot verify their accuracy."

Loki rolled her eyes. "Well how am I supposed to find out what I need to know?" she asked, exasperated.

She watched as a line of blue light scanned the top of the altar. "Several of these symbols are used in early Astronomy, and also are found on Dr. Bryardie's personal artifacts."

"Dr. Bryardie?" she frowned.

"Yes," Jarvis continued, "I believe she utilizes a board to facilitate the process of summoning," he explained.

Loki nearly sat down she was so surprised. After a full thirty seconds, she blinked and shook her head. "Can you please patch me through to her office?"

"Of course, Miss Loki."

After a couple rings, Rowena picked up. "Dr. Bryardie, how can I help you?"

"This is Loki," she said, thinking. "I'm down in secure storage looking at Pierce's stuff. If you're not busy, I could use your help. I need some insight into what some of this means."

"Sure, just let me finish up some paperwork and I'll be right down," she said cheerfully.

While she was waiting, Loki flipped through the books. Most of them were well-worn, the spines broken in many places. They detailed the legends of one King Arthur and his court. Some of the names seemed vaguely familiar to her, including that of the wizard Merlin.

Rowena found her deep in the story of a quest. "Ah, the Arthurian legends," she said fondly. "Good stuff, although this is probably pretty watered down," she flipped through the books absently. "I don't see Mallory's Le Morte d'Arthur..." she clucked her tongue.

Loki spoke without looking up from the book floating in front of her. "So you are a Summoner..." she mused.

The psychologist froze a moment. "I am a medium," she said at last. "I occasionally use summoning to help people contact their deceased loved ones."

Snapping the book shut, Loki gave her a sarcastic glare. "Right. And I studied the art of levitation for a decade so I could read with my hands full," she quipped. Belatedly, she realized that was actually true - it was the inability to do so that had originally inspired her to learn it.

However, this statement was lost on Dr. Bryardie anyway. _She doesn't know_, she realized. _It's her natural gift and she has no idea how powerful she is. _Quickly rearranging her features, she turned to the business at hand.

"Anyway, Jarvis seemed to think you might know the origin of these symbols," she gestured to the altar. "They are unfamiliar to me."

Rowena walked over, and looked. "Yes. These are the traditional western symbols for the five elements."

"Five?" Loki frowned. "I was taught only four- earth, air, water, and fire."

She nodded. "Those are the four that most cultures agree on. But some add another, and which one they choose says a lot. This one," she pointed to a circle, "Can represent a number of things, but it's most likely to mean magic. It's all very consistent with Alchemy."

"Alchemy? In my studies, that's just the making of potions and other various ingredient-based spells."

"That sounds about right. It was a precursor to modern chemistry, mostly concerned with finding the Philosopher's Stone," Rowena agreed.

"What, like in Harry Potter?" Loki laughed.

Dr. Bryardie gave her an impressed look.

"Movie Time with Tony and Steve," she grinned.

"Well, yes, like Harry Potter. The Philosopher's stone supposedly could turn any metal into gold, and create the elixir of life," she explained.

Loki snorted. "Yeah right," she glanced back at the books. "Does this guy think he's Merlin or something?"

Rowena shook her head. "The symbols are all too late for that, and there would be more Celtic influence. No, I think you were right with Harry Potter. This is more Nicholas Flamel's thing."

"Was he a real person?" Loki asked.

"Yeah, he lived in the early 1400's, but most of the stories attributed to him are from the Eighteenth Century. Still, some people think he was the basis of Dr. Faust."

"Dr. Faustus..." Loki repeated absently, going over to the stack of books.

"It's a popular story, retold by several authors. Faust sells his soul to the devil for arcane knowledge," Rowena said.

"That would certainly enable someone to write a grimoire," Loki reasoned, and then came up with a book, hardcover and in better shape than the others. The cover was red and said only "FAUST - Goethe"

"Exactly," Rowena grinned, and took it from her. "It's a library book," she opened it to a bookmark only a few chapters in. "Can't say as I blame him, I much prefer Marlowe to Goethe. Goethe's all _Sturm und Drang_, it gets old fast. Marlowe's Mephistopheles is more someone I could actually imagine selling my soul to."

Loki froze. "What was the name you just said?"

Rowena's smile faded at Loki's tone. "Mephistopheles?" she repeated. "That's the name of the demon who purchased his soul."

This time, Loki did sit, thumping down onto a crate.

"What?" Dr. Bryardie asked.

Loki held out her hand for the book. "I know where Pierce got his power, although likely indirectly. And it is not good. I'll need to read this, and..." she thought, putting a finger between her teeth. "Jarvis, can you call Thor or Jane?"

"Right away," he said politely.

"Loki?" Thor's voice soon came over the PA.

"Brother, I need to ask you a favor," she cringed, laying it on thick.

There was a pause. "What sort of a favor?" he asked.

"I need you to go to Asgard and get some books, preferably without anyone knowing."

"Why can't you just ask Father for them yourself?" Thor scolded.

Loki looked at Rowena as she spoke. "Because they are books about Muspelheim, and the Scourge Mephisto," she explained, "Who I believe is the source of our enemy's power."

There was an even longer pause on the line. "I shall see it done," Thor said at last.

* * *

_**A/N: **__At least it's long, right? I think I will need to stick to the once a week update schedule for the time being, I'm having a hard time adjusting to a full-time schedule. Most days I come home and just pass out. But I want to assure you that finishing this story is at the top of my priorities. That's why there's so much of this chapter that's narrative instead of scene... I'm really trying to move the story forward!_

_Anyway, as always, please tell me what you think, and thanks for being patient while I get my world in order._


	68. Harder to Breathe

_I'm back! Theme song for this chapter is "Rise With Me" by In This Moment._

* * *

**Chapter 68: Harder to Breathe**

"Yes!" Natasha shouted, standing up. She wobbled, nearly falling over, and sat back down quickly.

Tony, who had been walking by, popped his head in. "You all right, Red?" he joked.

She sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. Tony's sense of humor was the last thing she needed right now. "Yes, Stark. I just found another of Pierce's applications, that's all."

"Ooh, how many does that make?" he asked, coming fully into her office.

"Eight?" she answered, fingering the others. "Plus the five he attacked makes..." she squinted as she thought.

"Thirteen," he supplied in a suspicious voice.

"Right. Thirteen. And he said seventeen, which leaves..."

"Four." Tony sounded seriously concerned.

Natasha closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. After only a moment, she sat back up, eyes wide.

Taking one of the seats in front of her desk, Tony leaned forward. "Natalie," he said, using her original pseudonym.

"Yes?" she failed to raise to the bait.

"When was the last time you slept?" he asked.

She put down the stack of papers. "It's Monday, right? What time is it?"

Tony looked at his watch. "Almost 6 PM."

Natasha thought for a long, hard moment. "84 hours ago," she said at last.

He let out a low whistle. "You beat my record," he admitted.

She smiled wearily. "Not mine," she boasted.

"Listen," Tony said. "I know that Vanko's bastardized super serum lets you stay awake for like, a week, but that doesn't make it good for you. Go home. Sleep with your adorable girlfriend. Trust me, it helps."

"Speaking from personal experience?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Your girlfriend is probably less likely to freak about nightmares than mine is," he reasoned.

"I can't," she said, frustrated, as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Yes, you can." He came around the desk and helped her up out of her chair. "I'll go through these for a while. You need to sleep."

She shook her head, stubborn.

He sighed. "Avoiding the nightmares won't make them go away," he scolded. "You have to go through it to get to the other side."

Natasha glared at him. "Just because you worked out your issues doesn't mean you understand mine," she growled.

He just patted her back and pushed her out of the office. "You're welcome. Jarvis, get Miss Romanoff a car, and see that she actually gets in it."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Tasha. Tasha, wake up..." Clint's voice sounded strange. She opened her eyes to see his eyes floating before her, and they were strange too. They looked irritated, and glowed an eerie blue. "Time to play, Tasha," he crooned, slipping one of the knives out of her belt.

Realization came to her all at once, and she fought to free herself, finding her arms and legs bound. Strangely, she was now naked, and Clint was cutting her, and somewhere, someone was laughing as she screamed.

* * *

Natasha woke as she hit the floor, her legs still tangled in the sheets. She was covered in sweat and out of breath. She kicked free, ripping the sheets in the process.

"Damn it," she breathed, leaning her head against the bed. The clock on her bedside stand read 1:45 AM. Contrary to Tony's advice, she had slept alone, not even telling Loki she was home. At the time, she had reasoned that she didn't want to bother her, didn't want to be selfish, and that she could handle it on her own. Now, she realized how stupid that was.

She stood, stripping off her sweat-soaked clothes-she hadn't even gotten undressed-and found some clean pajamas. Walking out to the kitchen, she opened a drawer and removed the key taped to the underside of the counter. She let herself out of her apartment, locking it, and made her way across the hallway. Technically, she was only supposed to only use the key in emergencies.

Slipping the key in, she turned it silently and made her way in. It was dark, but a light still shone out from under Thor's door. From the sound of it, he was getting ready for bed. She locked the door behind her and made her way quickly across the apartment, letting herself into Loki's room.

She blinked, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. She hadn't been in this room since they had started sleeping together, they usually went to her place to avoid Thor. Natasha remembered the layout well enough, though, and once she made out the sleeping form on the bed, she crept over and laid her hand across Loki's mouth.

Loki awoke with a start, eyes wide. Natasha put a finger to her own lips, and Loki nodded. One she took her hand away, Loki scooted over to give her room.

"Natasha?" she whispered, worry showing in her voice.

"I can't sleep alone," she murmured as she slid between the sheets.

"Nightmares?" Loki asked.

Natasha just nodded.

"Oh, darling," Loki murmured against her hair, wrapping her arms around Natasha. "I'll take care of it, don't worry." She murmured a few words, weaving a light and meaningless dream for her. Within moments, Natasha was asleep. It was such a simple spell, she easily drifted after her.

* * *

In the morning, Natasha woke slowly, as if surfacing from a deep ocean of sleep. She felt remarkably refreshed, and while the tension she had carried since the mission had not gone away, it had dissipated somewhat.

"Good morning," Loki whispered softly, nearby.

Natasha blinked her eyes open, and it took her a moment to remember where she was. She turned on her side to face her companion, smiling. "Were you watching me sleep?" she teased.

"Yes," she replied unabashedly. "How did you like your dreams?"

Focusing, she could only remember a sense of floating, and being warm. "Very nice."

The sorceress smiled. "Oh good. It was pretty simple because I was sort of half-asleep," she demurred.

"Simple is good," Natasha argued. "Simple is... uncomplicated."

"I suppose so. Given a little forewarning, though, I could give you something _very _nice," she grinned suggestively.

Natasha laughed and sat up, looking for the clock. "Shit, I have to get to work," she said when she found it.

"I don't think so," Loki said, pulling her back down to the bed. "Tony texted me last night," she pulled her phone out of thin air. "Said I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, make sure you get some downtime." She flipped through her messages for a moment. "Ah, yes. Here. He says he found the other four applications."

She cussed softly, feeling inadequate.

"He also says you're welcome," she laughed.

"For what?" Natasha peered at the phone.

"For 'returning the favor' I guess," Loki read.

Sighing, she relaxed into the bed again. She knew what that meant. Tony was telling her that she was out of line, a danger to herself, and she needed to take some time to get her shit together. "All right," she said begrudgingly, "I guess I can take a couple days off. What about you?"

Loki shrugged. "Actually, I'm pretty close to being done with the restoration," she explained.

"Really?" Natasha was surprised and impressed.

"Yeah. I get a lot done on Mondays, thanks to Him. I'm mostly just doing cornices and trim now. It's pretty boring. Tony says I can stop whenever I feel like it." Loki didn't sound very excited about the prospect of finishing her punishment.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sensing Loki's reluctance.

She looked at her carefully, pushing a curl of red hair out of Natasha's face. "It's just... when I'm done, what purpose will I have? I'm afraid I'll be superfluous."

"Nonsense," Natasha murmured, pulling her girlfriend into her arms. "You're very useful. You're still the only one who can do magic, remember?"

"Dr. Bryardie does magic," she revealed.

Natasha pretended not to be surprised. "Not like you," she argued.

"No, I guess not. I just..." she paused, biting her lip. "Sometimes I feel like I'm not the _real _Loki, you know? I'm just some weird, alternate-universe version of Him, and I'm ruining his life."

She thought about that for a long moment. "I don't think He feels that way, at least not anymore," she reasoned.

"Oh? How do you think He sees me?" Loki challenged.

Knowing that she couldn't lie to her, Natasha said, "I think He finds you to be a necessary evil. And from what I can tell from his past, he's fairly comfortable with those."

She smiled wryly. "That's certainly true... still..."

"Listen, if it really bugs you, you should probably talk to Dr. Bryardie. She knows more about these sorts of things," she suggested.

Loki narrowed her eyes. "Things? Plural? Did He go back to see her again?"

Natasha sat up, surprised. "Well, yeah. He... He didn't tell you?"

She sat up, too, sighing. "He wrote me a three-page note. Either He had so much to tell me He forgot, or He was actively avoiding telling me. Somehow I doubt it's the former."

Rubbing her back awkwardly, Natasha tried to think. Should she tell Her about his nightmare and break His confidence? Or let them work it out on their own? Loki gave her a look, and smiled sadly. "Don't worry about it. Let's go have breakfast."

"Ok," Natasha smiled in return, gladly putting the issue aside. She got up from the bed, stretching, and followed Loki of the room.

"Thor!" Loki sounded very surprised to find the god of thunder sitting at the kitchen table, which was nearly covered in leather-bound books. "You got them!"

"With a little help," Thor admitted, standing suddenly when he saw Loki was not alone. "Lady Natasha, good morning!" He sounded surprised, but pleasantly so.

"I snuck in last night," Natasha explained, "Just after you, I think."

"Well," Loki said, grinning, "I go to bed alone and rise to the company of my two favorite people!" she joked. She looked between the stacks of books and the kitchen, fingers twitching by her sides.

"Read," Natasha suggested. "I'll make breakfast."

"Thank you, darling," she sounded very relived, and leaned over to kiss Natasha happily. Thor pointedly grinned at the table top. Sitting down, Loki pulled the nearest book into her lap. "Oof! I don't remember these being so heavy!" she laughed. "Tell me, how did you manage to purloin them so quickly?"

"Actually, it was mostly Lady Sif's endeavor," Thor smiled. "Apparently she has been sneaking certain tomes from the library for many centuries."

Loki's smile turned sly. "Ah, yes. There was a time when we went on such adventures together, in our youth."

Natasha poked around the cupboards and refrigerator. She found rice, sausage, and cream of mushroom soup. Shrugging, she decided to make a breakfast version of stroganoff. As she gathered the necessary tools and ingredients, she enjoyed listening to the two siblings talk. Loki had made a great effort to speak like a human, but when she was conversing with her brother, she slipped into the archaic forms he still used.

"Did you truly? Lady Sif made it sound as if these books were of a scandalous nature," he teased.

"Yes, well, there was a time when I was quite enamored with her," she admitted, eyes sparkling.

Thor looked genuinely dumbstruck. "What happened?"

Loki stopped reading, and shook her head a little. "She set her cap for you, brother. It made me very angry, and I did something very foolish. Story of my life, as they say."

"Her hair?" Thor guessed, shocked. When she nodded, he shook his head. "I always wondered what drove you to do that."

"What happened?" Natasha asked, unable to resist butting in.

"Er..." Loki turned in her chair, looking awkward. "I, um. Well. I cut off her hair while she was sleeping. I was still quite young."

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "How short did you cut it?"

Thor laughed. "He used magic," he revealed. "And took all of it. Nor would it grow back."

Looking from Thor to Loki, Natasha tried not to appear alarmed.

Sensing her unease, Loki told the remainder of the tale quickly. "I was punished, and instructed to hire the dwarves to fashion her new hair. However, I didn't really feel like paying the greedy little bastards, so they made it from nothing, from the night. That's why she has black hair-and to be frank, I think it looks very nice. She stands out in a crowd of fair-haired ladies."

"I think that was not to her liking," Thor shot her a look.

She shrugged.

"How were you punished?" Natasha asked, curious.

"The dwarves sewed my lips shut," Loki said without fanfare. Thor nodded, neither surprised nor disturbed.

"So... you cut off your friend's hair, and they sew your lips shut. You attempt genocide and world domination, and they... turn you into a girl? I continue to be amazed at the Asgardian sense of justice," she laughed.

Loki looked very serious. "Well, they wanted to kill me, but I won't stay dead. This was the best alternative. And they didn't know it would turn me into a girl. _I _didn't know."

Thor looked thoughtful. "Would you choose it again, were you given the choice?" he asked.

She smiled and tilted her head. "Well, of course _I _would, but I don't know about Him. Probably. Like Natasha said, it beats getting your lips sewn shut."

There was a long pause, in which each of them thought to themselves. "You know what?" Natasha said suddenly, "this conversation is way too serious to have before breakfast."

"I second that," Thor laughed.

"So what do you want to do today?" Loki asked as she thumbed through a particularly nasty-looking tome bound in red leather.

Natasha sighed, stirring the rice into the water, which was now boiling. "I don't know. I don't really do R&R well, you can ask Clint."

"I'd like to get out in the city," Loki suggested. "But I don't really know what we'd do."

"There is a display of art at one of the more prestigious galleries," Thor piped up. He rose from the table and ducked into his room quickly, coming back with a pamphlet. "Jane and Darcy enjoyed it very much."

Loki took the brochure, looked it over, and passed it to Natasha. It seemed that the Guggenheim was doing an exhibition on "Mysterious Art," which featured paintings and sculptures of unknown origin.

"Could be fun," Natasha agreed. The sausages had finished cooking, and she began making the sauce in the same pan.

Loki made a sound of agreement, nose buried in one of the books. Natasha and Thor exchanged a look of commiseration. He launched into an amusing story in which a young Loki had holed himself up in a favorite hiding spot with a good book, and was not seen for several days. The palace had been frantic searching for him throughout Asgard. When he finally reemerged, he was very surprised to find how long it had been. He had been summoning food whenever he needed it, and completely lost track of time. Odin had been furious, but Frigga, amused, had convinced him not to punish the boy.

The subject of this anecdote seemed mostly not to hear it, except for scowling at the end. Once the rice had finished cooking, Natasha piled it onto three plates, and topped it with the sausage stroganoff. She handed one to Thor, found a square foot of bare table to put her own down, and then made to pull the book out of Loki's hands teasingly. She jerked it away from her outstretched fingers, though, snapping it shut and setting it on the floor.

"Be careful not to touch these books," she said, gathering up several of the volumes and placing them beneath her chair. "They have a very strong magical aura, and I'm not sure what effect they would have on a normal human."

Natasha smirked and put a plate and fork in Loki's hands. "I'm not exactly a 'normal' human, if you recall, but in this instance I can see what you mean."

"Lady Natasha, this is delicious!" Thor announced.

She shrugged as she sat down. "It's just a cheap version of a traditional Russian dish. Some time I'll make the real thing, I promise."

"He'll hold you to that," Loki joked, tucking in. "Wow, this is really good. I should not-cook more often."

Natasha just smiled. "Well, you two certainly know how to make a girl feel appreciated," she laughed. As they ate, she realized that a little more tension had slipped away. Maybe Tony was right. Maybe she just needed some time.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I have returned! I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to finish Pity for the Devil before we proceeded with this story. I thought the connection between the two would show up in this chapter, but it looks like it will be next chapter. _

_Speaking of Chapter 69, I will probably be posting it late on Wednesday, and then not posting again on Saturday. I'm going camping for the Fourth of July weekend, and I don't expect to be anywhere near the internet or even much electricity. I'm sure my American readers will be busy as well, but I apologize to my international fans. _

_Anyway, thanks for your patience while I figure out this whole full-time job thing. It means a lot to me. As always, I love all your reviews, it's always a treat to take a break at work and see one in my inbox._

_See you Wednesday!_


	69. Mysteries

_Sorry this is a week late! Hope the awesomeness makes up for it, I've been waiting to write this chapter for a long time. Theme song is "End of All Days" by Thirty Seconds to Mars._

* * *

**Chapter 69: Mysteries**

Later that day, Loki and Natasha went out to the Guggenheim. They took the bike, and Loki let Natasha drive, for which she was grateful. She always felt more relaxed when she was driving, as if she could outrun her troubles. Leaning into the turns and zipping through traffic, with Loki's lean curves wrapped tightly around her, moving in sync, she felt almost at peace.

They reached the museum, and Loki looked up at the strange architecture, a vague smile on her face.

"It's weird, isn't it?" Natasha commented.

Loki shook her head. "It makes me think of home."

Natasha stopped looking at the building and shot Loki a confused look instead. "You said that about the Chrysler Building." When she nodded, Natasha tilted her head to one side. "You're telling me that the architecture on Asgard is like really modern art deco?"

"Basically. Except bigger, and some of the buildings float," Loki told her.

She just shook her head. "One day, I gotta see that."

Loki grinned. "I hope you will. Thor wishes to wed Jane there, and invite all the Avengers, so you'll probably get a chance then."

Natasha slipped her hand into Loki's. "That will be nice."

Loki blushed and looked around, embarrassed. Natasha just laughed and gave her hand a squeeze. "Honey, in this place, no one will even notice."

She looked slightly less flustered. "Alright."

They went in, Natasha paying admission, and wandered throughout the exhibitions. At the front was a sign advertising a phone app that provided more information on each of the artworks. Loki discretely summoned her phone, and downloaded it. At times they walked together, hand in hand, but sometimes they split up, drawn by different attractions. It was during one such brief separation that Loki found something startling.

"Natasha, you gotta come see this," she called softly, her voice carrying easily through the curved rooms. She appeared a moment later, and looked up at the painting, aghast.

"It looks just like you," Loki murmured.

"I can see that," she laughed. "How old is it? Maybe it is me," she shook her head. "I certainly don't remember sitting for it, though."

Loki thumbed through her phone, finding the appropriate section. "Circa 1928," she read aloud.

"Nope," Natasha said, incredulous. "I'm not _that _old."

"Wow..." she murmured as she read. "Listen to this: 'The artist of _La Roux _was part of the Art Nouveau circle that flourished in Paris in the teens and twenties. The painting was part of a murder mystery, discovered newly finished and unvarnished along side the bodies of the artist and the model, who was known to be his mistress. Another of his models was suspected of the murder, but not enough proof was found to even bring it to trial.' How sad!"

Natasha frowned, still staring at the portrait. "What's the artist's name?"

Loki read it off, but she shook her head, the name unfamiliar. They stood staring up at it for a while. In the painting, the redheaded girl sat in an overstuffed chair, wearing a green dress with a daringly low V. She had a large book in her lap, and was fiddling with the large emerald on a glittering gold necklace.

"I love that expression," Loki murmured with a wry smile.

Natasha glanced at her surprised. "On her or me?"

She shrugged. "It's the same look. It means you're thinking something deliciously naughty," she whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

Natasha looked at Loki fully, watching her study the painting. A warmth suffused her body, accompanied by a tug in her chest. All at once, she realized she had fallen head-over-heels in love with Loki. Both Lokis. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and had therefore taken her by surprise. Watching her face, seeing the deep affection there, she longed to say something. She knew _this _Loki would understand, maybe even reciprocate, but He... _Love is a lie_, He had said, and she had agreed, _Love is for children_. But she had never been a child, not really, so how would she know?

Loki noticed her scrutiny eventually, and tore her gaze away from the entrancing portrait. When she saw the expression on her face, however, she quickly turned away, heart racing. She made her way over to the next painting, trying to push her feelings aside. In some unacknowledged corner of her heart, she knew that she loved Natasha, had known since that night on Tony's private island. But she could never admit it to herself. She had told her that love was for children, so she knew there was no hope that her feelings would be returned. And He... she _knew _what he thought of Love. Cursing inwardly, she skittered around the forbidden word. She knew He was in there, somewhere, listening to everything she thought. She loathed the lack of privacy, and could only imagine what sort of cruel things He might say if he ever caught on.

Frowning, Natasha stared at Loki's retreating form. For a moment, she had looked elated, and then suddenly pained. The girl was as much a mystery as the paintings that surrounded them, and yet she couldn't bring herself to pry. She had long experience ignoring her curiosity, and put it to good use now.

* * *

That night, the dream that Loki made for her was remarkable. In it, they were both young children, running around the halls of what she imagined must be the palace in Asgard - certainly she had never seen any thing so grand. Their play was innocent, and heartwarming, and she woke refreshed. She noted with interest that the child-Loki in her dream was a boy, although she supposed that made sense. It reminded her of the dream she had after the mission in Poland, where she had imagined Loki as Kai, the little frozen boy in _the Snow Queen_.

She wanted to return to work the next day, but Loki managed to convince her to stay, and Natasha couldn't really complain about her choice of method. After spending half the day in bed, she was tired enough to while away the rest on books and TV. When she did finally get back to the tower, she was surprised and a little dissapointed to discover that the investigation had proceeded perfectly well without her.

Armed with the books that Thor and Lady Sif had stolen from Asgard's library, Loki was able to work out much of the magic that Pierce had been using. She found a way to release the souls from the two stones they had taken, leaving them out on Tony's balcony during a torrential downpour. She and Natasha stood together in the sanctuary of the living room, watching as the red stones were washed clean.

As she watched her from the corner of her eye, Loki worried about Natasha. It had taken effort to supplant the nightmares that she was avoiding every night. What would happen when the week was over? He wouldn't be able to work the same magic. She thought maybe if she crafted a simple dream, something solid and easy, He might be able to access it the same way He tapped into his own dark fantasy. But she doubted it would work.

* * *

Upon his return, Loki found he shared Her doubts. Natasha had thrown herself back into her work, although not to the same, unhealthy degree as before. Inwardly, he seethed. More and more he resented the fact that he _needed _Her - for even he could see that now - for anything that required magic. Or tact. Or sympathy. He sighed. Once, he had all of those qualities at his fingertips... now, he felt fractured, as if She had stolen bits and pieces of himself. Perhaps Dr. Bryardie was right, and She was actually part of him, but that only changed the question from how to be rid of her to how to reincorporate her. Either way, it was an unpleasant task.

He did his best not to communicate his anxieties to Natasha. She already had enough on her plate. When she returned from work that Monday, she found he had moved a portion of his clothes and other personal effects into her apartment. She seemed inordinately pleased with this, and her reaction caused a tightness in Loki's chest he did not want to identify. Contrary to his counterpart's beleifs, he knew very well that she was in love with Natasha. What he did not want to admit, and the reason he did not torment her about it, was that he was beginning to suspect he was as well.

As they sat on the couch, watching television, he studied her carefully without her notice. After his wife had died, he had sworn that he would never fall in love with another. Not that he was being romantic-things with Angerboda had ended badly. He did not want a repeat of those awful years.

But Natasha had opened up to him, and had unintentionally wedged her way into his most private thoughts, emotions, and fantasies. If it was love, she certainly had not ensnared him a-purpose. He shared his counterpart's reluctance to say anything to her. _Love is for children_, he reminded himself.

The hour drew late, and Natasha switched off the television, smiling slyly as she took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom. He was careful to hold himself in check, choosing to be tender as he had under the stars that night, wary of his more violent passions and what they might remind her of. For her part, she seemed happy enough with it. As they drifted off to sleep, Loki tried his best to recall the dream She had made, a simple thing of warmth and comfort. He knew he could not do magic, but he tried his best to remember the spell, and fell asleep with the effort of thinking.

* * *

Natasha blinked her eyes open, then shut them, squinting against the cruel light above her. She tried to cover them with her hand, only to find that she could not move her arms. They were tied high above her head. Her legs were likewise secured, spread wide apart. She half stood, half lay against a metal surface, at a 45 degree angle.

_Oh wonderful, _she thought sarcastically to herself, _torture._ She was no stranger to interrogation, it was like the least favorite co-worker you always ended up trapped in a conversation with at office parties. She kept her breathing slow, steady. She had survived this before, she could do it again. She opened her eyes, but all she could see was the light in her face. She tested her restraints, and judged that they were leather, buckled tight against her skin. Whoever had planned this knew what they were doing.

She fell back on her training, trying to guess what particular information her captors would be after. If she could figure that out ahead of time, she would be far less likely to let it slip by accident. She tried to recall how the mission had gone bad, and found only a blank. Natasha realized with rising fear that she could not remember the mission at all.

Her attention was drawn to a sound, the shifting of fabric as someone moved. She was not alone in the room.

"Ah, so you have finally awakened," she froze at the voice, a voice she knew all too well. She heard the sound of his footsteps as he walked around her. The light swiveled away, and in the shadows she saw his face, the face she feared more than any would appear.

It was Loki.

"A pity Barton did not live to see this, it would have been much more fun to use him as my puppet." he stepped out of her view, and she could hear a clatter of metal on a table. "Good help is _so _hard to find these days," he lamented as he came back around to face her. "But you know what they say," he sighed dramatically. "if you want something done right," he glanced down at the small knife in his hand, which flashed in the light, "you have to do it yourself."

She shuddered at the evil glee in his grin. _He is going to enjoy this_, she realized. He stepped up, considering his options, before reaching up to slowly, slowly slit the fabric of her sleeve, leaving a shallow score in her skin beneath. The movement brought his face close to hers, and she saw there a terrifying patience. _He will take his time._

"What do you want?" she asked suddenly, knowing that there was no way she could win this, she was going to die and it was in her best interest that it go quickly.

Loki chuckled, surprised. "So soon?" he finished the line he was drawing, the razor-sharp knife severing the collar, stopping just before the vital veins in her neck. The material sighed open, exposing her arm and shoulder. He tutted in disapproval. "I would have expected more of you."

She swallowed thickly, her throat dry. She was a realist, and she knew where this would end. She held no real love for SHIELD, and had no delusions of heroism. She would break, tell him what he wanted, and then he would kill her. He was too smart to leave her alive. "What do you want?" she repeated through gritted teeth.

He smiled softly, cutting a line down beside the zipper, exposing her on one side. "What do I want?" he mused. He transferred the knife to his left hand, and trailed his finger over the blood welling up on her skin. He then stuck the finger in his mouth, like a small child sneaking frosting from a cake. He moaned, low in his throat, and closed his eyes as he relished the taste. When he opened them, he was looking straight into her eyes.

Natasha took in his appearance for the first time. His hair was long and wind-wild, flipping up from his shoulders. His skin was pale and waxen, and his eyes, fever bright and surrounded by dark stains, were a chilling ice blue.

"What I want," he whispered, "Is for you to scream. I want you," he slid his cold fingers over her skin and took a firm grasp on her breast, "to _beg _me. To kill you, or fuck you, or both. I want to take this _gorgeous _illusion that you show to the world, and make it match your insides. Ugly, and broken, and covered in blood." His face was close to hers now, and she could feel his breath on her skin, quick and heated.

Loki swallowed, pulling back and chuckling breathlessly. "But we have plenty of time for that." He began to trace the same line on her other arm. "We have all the time in the world..."

* * *

Natasha sat bolt upright in bed, covered in a sheen of sweat, completely out of breath. She felt a cold hand on her back, and jumped.

"Natasha?" Loki's voice, concerned, came to her in the dark, and she remembered. She lay back down, nestling into him, and he wrapped his arms around her cautiously, unused to comforting. "Shh..." he whispered, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. "You're safe now, it's just a nightmare."

Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to cry. She wished it were only a nightmare, but she knew it was more than that. And she owed it to him to say so. He had opened up to her, and she could no longer hold back from him. "It was _your _nightmare," she whispered, almost too quiet to hear.

His hands froze, his whole body unnaturally still. She held her breath, waiting. After a moment, he began to pull away. She tried to hold on to him, but he barely even noticed.

"Loki," she pleaded as he sat up, swinging his feet out onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around him, keeping him from standing. "Loki, don't shut me out. Please."

He let out a long, shaky breath, and she could feel the shudder that wracked his body. "Oh Natasha," he moaned. "I never, ever wanted you to see that."

She rested her cheek between his shoulder blades. "I know. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay!" he turned to her, taking her face in his hands. "How could you possibly want me, knowing that I imagined that, that I _wanted _that," his voice was thick with self-loathing.

She pressed her fingertips against his lips, silencing him. "It wasn't you, not the way you are now. You wouldn't-"

He turned away from her again, angry.

For just a moment, Natasha doubted. "Would you?"

Loki was quiet for so long that she thought he wouldn't answer. "How far... did the dream go?" he asked at last.

"Not very long. You," her breath caught, and she plunged on, angry at herself. "You told me what you were going to do to me. Cut up... my clothes, a little. That's all."

He flopped down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She knew he was remembering, and realized how surreal it must have been to find her like that at the compound. She understood, now, why he had been so very angry at himself. It wasn't just because he had failed to protect her, but because another man had done those things to her, and in some small part of him, he was jealous.

"That much, yes. I would," he said darkly.

She considered that a moment. "Well I'm not okay with bleeding, but the rest of it wasn't all that far from what I've already let you do," she reassured him.

"It pains me to admit that scissors would be a much better tool," he said despondently, loathe to compare himself to her assailant.

"But you wouldn't kill me. You wouldn't do all those things you said," she spoke with perfect confidence.

"No," he agreed, turning his face away from her. "Not all of them. But you can imagine."

Natasha pulled her knees up to her chest, thinking. She could imagine, and that was the problem. She knew from long experience that fear and anticipation of a thing was often far worse than the thing itself. She had no idea what Pierce would have done if Loki hadn't rescued her. He had mentioned 'sacrifice' in his muttered rantings, but she couldn't begin to guess what that entailed. Her mind ran wild with images of Aztec wall paintings and tapestries of Ivan the Terrible.

"We have to finish it," she whispered suddenly. After saying them, she realized the words were true.

"What?" Loki frowned.

"We have to finish the dream."

He sat up, shaking his head, but she held out a hand.

"That's why I can't shake this thing, Loki. I don't know how it would have ended. I need to know, I need... closure," she rolled her eyes a little at using Dr. Bryardie's term.

Loki licked his lips, seriously considering it for a moment. She could see, even as he fought it, that he liked the idea. "I don't-" he ran a hand through his hair. "How would I know when I've gone too far?" he asked, looking scared and vulnerable. She knew he feared this more than anything else.

"You won't," she tried to reassure him. She knew that he needed this as much as she did, needed to trust himself, to trust that she wouldn't be scared off.

He reached out, pulling her into his arms. "Why would you let me do that to you?" he whispered into her neck.

_Because I love you_, she thought, but instead she said "Because I trust you."

He laughed a little. "I thought you didn't have sex with people you trust?"

She smiled. "I think I can make an exception for you."

He kissed her for that, and then pressed his forehead against hers. "I don't know if this is a good idea."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "I do. I need this, Loki. You need this."

He sighed and lay back down, pulling her back against him. "Let me talk to Dr. Bryardie about it," he suggested.

She frowned. "Alright. See what she thinks, but make the decision for yourself."

"I will," he promised, and closed his eyes to sleep.

* * *

_**A/N:** If the first part of this chapter made you say "what the heck is going on?" then you probably haven't read my other BlackFrost fic, Pity for the Devil. If you have, I hope you enjoyed. o.~ _

_So, since I seem to have no way of telling when I'll have time to write, I'm afraid I'm going to have to do away with the regular posting schedule. It pains me to do so, but I'd rather not let you down every week, and stress about getting the chapter ready in time, etc. I'll write when I can, and post when I can, and hopefully there won't be too much time between chapters. Thank you all for being so patient. I haven't gotten a single annoying "update now!" comment. That means a lot to me. But if you really want to bug me, I don't mind ^.^ I love all the reviews I get._


	70. Research

_I'm baaaack! More in the Author's Note. Theme song is "Counting Stars" by One Republic._

* * *

**Chapter 70: "Research"**

Rowena set down her teacup and leaned back into the couch. "Well, she wouldn't be the first to seek catharsis in a scene. Generally, it's recommended that a person work out that kind of issue before dabbling in BDSM, but I'm not the only professional in my field to recognize the potential."

Loki watched her carefully, turning the teacup around and around in his elegant fingers. "But is it a good idea? It seems to me that I am just as likely to do further damage as I am to help."

She nodded. "That's always the case with this kind of relationship, but the fact that you recognize it is a very good sign."

They stared at each other for a long moment, until Loki glanced down and spoke again, quietly. "How will I know when I've gone too far, though?"

She sighed. "I was afraid you were going to ask me that," she sounded non-plussed.

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because," she leaned forward and plucked up her teacup, "it means you haven't been using a safe word, as I suggested."

Loki glanced to the side, exasperated, and opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. "Oh, yes, I've heard it all before: A _real _dominant doesn't use safe words. _Real _masters don't need them. Bullshit."

His other eyebrow joined the first at her use of profanity.

"_This _is exactly why you should use a safeword. So you know, without a shadow of a doubt, when you have gone too far. I should think that much would be obvious," she continued to rant.

Loki frowned a little. "It's not just me, you know. I don't think she would go for it either."

"Well then don't make it an option," she suggested. "You're the Dom, make it clear that this scene is conditional on her agreeing to use it if need be. Granted, she may try to be macho and not use it when she should, but that's on her and not you. Make this clear beforehand." She shook her head. "I suppose you haven't discussed limits, either, have you?"

"Actually, we have," he put in.

Now it was her turn to lift her eyebrows and sip her tea.

"I brought up the subject of what I was not comfortable with while... during Her time, and Natasha volunteered the same information. I was unaware of how much it irritated her when I left her alone. I mean, it's kind of the point of it, but she expressed that it was beyond the level I had intended."

Rowena smiled. "That's good. That kind of communication is necessary to make these things work. Normally, I would also suggest that you go over a scene in detail before enacting it, but in this one instance I do think surprise is necessary."

He nodded and sipped his tea contemplatively. "The trouble is, I'm not sure _what _I'm going to do."

"Well don't try to do it off the cuff, no pun intended," she warned. "You'll need to plan it out down to the last detail ahead of time. That way, you'll have everything you need ready. There's nothing saying you can't improvise, especially if it seems to be too much for her, but it's always best to start with a plan."

"That all makes sense," he ran a hand through his hair, "But I'm kind of short on ideas. The main element of the dream has been ruled out, and I don't know what to replace it with."

"Research," she advised. "You may be surprised how much can be reproduced with illusion."

He grinned, "No, I probabably won't be."

She laughed. "I suppose not."

* * *

Loki glared at the computer screen, frustrated. He was justifiably proud of his advancements in using Midgardian technology - he had easily surpassed both Thor and Steve in a very short time - but his skills seemed to fail him now. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to get anywhere in his 'research.'

Every time he thought he had found a good link, it either required a monthly fee to enter the site, or was laughably unrealistic. He had wasted a good two hours sorting through one website before realizing that all of the texts it contained were fictional.

Even the retail establishments he found did not seem to be of much help. The limited supplies they offered were obviously of inferior quality. He sat back, fists clenching, the urge to throw his laptop across the room rising to intolerable levels...

Suddenly, his bedroom door opened. Tony walked in, obviously laughing at something Thor had just said.

"Have you no concept of knocking whatsoever?!" Loki demanded, his rage at last finding an appropriate target.

To his surprise, Tony just smirked. "Why, are you doing something naughty?"

Loki's eyes narrowed. He looked from the intruder to the offending laptop, and then back again. Crossing his arms, he leaned back in his chair. "You meant to catch me?" Accompanied by his raised eyebrow, the tone of the inquiry questioned Tony's motives.

"Correctamundo." He took a few steps into the room and closed the door. "You see, when you first got that laptop, Pepper had Jarvis keep an eye on the internet use, to prevent the little miss from being scarred for life. Problem is, the watchdog program is still on there."

Loki glanced at the computer, still looking as though he would like to end it. "So you were notified by my activity," he reasoned, "But you also would have known that it's my week, and I doubt you're much concerned with my... purity. That is, of course, assuming that I am not forbidden...?"

Tony laughed. If Loki was hoping to make him uncomfortable, it wasn't working. "Fuck, no. And I think even Jarvis knew better to stand between a man and his porn, but he was a little concerned by the ... flavor of your choices."

"Oh?" Loki examined his fingernails nonchalantly.

Tony saw right through the bluff. "I have a theory. I think you're doing _research_."

Loki's eyes flicked up to meet Tony's in surprise, and he grinned. "I knew it. You're trying to get inside his head, right?" he pulled up a foot stool and sat.

"What?" Loki frowned.

"Pierce. You're figuring out the sick bastard, right?" Tony's eager expression dimmed a little as Loki continued to stare at him blankly.

"No, that was not my intention," Loki said slowly.

Tony glanced at the screen, something clicking in his head. "Oh." He frowned. "But you _are _doing research?" he sounded confused.

Loki looked non-plussed. "I take it Natasha has said something to you about my preferences?"

He shrugged. "Mostly figured that out on my own. What are you reasearching for?"

Leaning back in his seat, Loki regarded Tony thoughtfully. "For Natasha." He watched as Tony processed that, realized that Natasha was perfectly capable of doing her own research.

"But... you were _specifically _looking at elements of the mission..." he trailed off, a look of mild horror coming over his face. "You mean to recreate it," he said, deadpan.

Loki sighed. "It was her request," he explained, choosing not to elaborate specifically what they were recreating. Let Tony think what he liked.

"Don't take this as an endorsement, but have you considered seeing a shrink about this?" Tony joked.

He laughed. "Been there, done that," he joked back. "Dr. Bryardie was the one who suggested research. However, easier said than done," he gestured with frustration at the laptop.

Tony stared at Loki, crossing his arms. "Do you love her?" he asked.

Loki laughed. "What?"

"Do. You. Love. Natasha. Simple question, yes or no."

"Why do you care?" he abandoned any attempt at levity.

"Because she's my friend. And my team-mate. I don't want her to get hurt, at least not any more than she wants to," he chuckled. "I can help you with this, but I won't unless I'm sure you have her best interests in mind. So. Do you love her?"

Loki stared up at the ceiling, blessedly free of posters now, and thought. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "I feel something, but it's a very selfish emotion."

"Do you want her to be happy?" Tony asked.

Loki met his glance. "Yes, but only if I'm the cause of it. If it were someone else..." he clenched and unclenched his fist.

"Even Her?"

Loki looked surprised, as if the idea had never occurred to him. "That... rankles less, somehow."

Tony chuckled. "Alright. Good enough for me." He snatched a piece of scratch paper off the desk and scribbled down a number of websites. "You should be able to find what you're looking for here," he said, and held out the paper.

Glancing down the list, Loki frowned. "And how is it you are familiar with these particular sites?"

He shrugged. "Kinky ex-girlfriend. s. When you've been around the block as much as I have, eventually you see it all. Not my thing, really, but different strokes for different folks, I guess."

Loki smiled at that. "Indeed."

"Well," Tony slapped his hands on his thighs and stood up. "I will leave you to your... _research, _then."

Loki looked up at him. "I trust you will be discrete about this?"

"As long as you promise not to use it for evil," he wagged a finger teasingly.

Something about his choice of word stirred up eddies in his memory. "I promise," he said seriously.

"Sure thing, then." He opened the door, gave Loki one last assessing look, shook his head, and left.

Loki let out a long, shaky breath. Tony had tread very close to thin ice, and he remembered belatedly that the genius had a talent for getting under his skin when he had a mind to. Smiling wryly, he began to type in the first of the suggested URLs.

* * *

_**A/N: **Somewhat short, but better than nothing, I suppose. Sorry for the delay in posting, I've been busy fighting the two-front war of real life and writer's block. I'm more than a little intimidated by the next chapter, so I won't try to make any promises as to when it will be posted. I, too, have been doing extensive research, and Loki's frustrations are somewhat echoes of mine. But after 71 I think it's pretty much downhill. _

_Thank you guys for being so patient while I figure this all out. It means a lot to me. _


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